#daroline

"I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you. I don't deserve you." – Damon to Elena, 2x18 "Rose"

"You're a beautiful, strong woman, a generous friend, and a bright light in a sea of darkness." – Damon to Caroline, 6x15 "Let Her Go"

I love Damon and like Katherine way more than Stefan and Caroline, I prefer villains and anti-heroes way more than heroes, but I don’t understand how anyone can like either of these two ships.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of r*pe/SA

I agree, there is no difference in what Katherine did to Stefan and what Damon did to Caroline and Andie.

I'm going to start by saying I do not like either Katherine or Damon. Yes, I know it is a show about supernatural creatures and we have to suspend reality, but no matter what world/fandom we're in, there is still a moral code. If there wasn't, we wouldn't have "good" guys and "bad" guys.

I can overlook and move on from a lot of bad things because with most "bad" acts there are mitigating circumstances. I truly believe anyone can be pushed to commit a lot of the terrible acts on the show, like murder, given the right circumstances. Usually it'll take a lot more than what's on the show, but that's where we suspend reality a bit. However, rape and sexual assault, no. There is never mitigating circumstances. No tragic backstory is going to make me overlook this.

I do believe in rehabilitation, but because the writers refused to admit what they did, we never get that with either character. No matter how you see it, both Damon and Katherine compelled people's choose away and proceed to have sex with them. That is the definition of rape. I will not argue with anyone on this point. It doesn't matter what the person intended the second before. The moment Damon/Katherine took their ability to consent away, it was rape.

Personally, Damon is my least favorite character and Katherine is close by it. Yes, I enjoy some of their scenes and they are "iconic" at times, but I could just never get past those scenes. I dislike Damon more because he received no consequences. He got a happy ending while Katherine didn't, so I'm more at peace with that story arc for Katherine.

I want to put a caveat so everyone is clear: I am never going to tell people who they can like or not like or who they should ship. Everyone comes to the fandom with different life experiences and like different ships for different reasons. Fiction allows us to like our toxic ships or like our healthy ships, whatever helps us cope with reality. But I do think it is important to acknowledge the potential harm so that we can recognize it in real life. This blog is just my personal takes on the situations/characters.

If you want to like daroline or steferine, go for it. But, again, it's important to acknowledge the toxicity in both. We all love a good anti-hero and some people enjoy enemies to lovers (not my cup of tea), but be prepared for others to not like it. We could all use a deep breath and take a step back in this fandom when it comes to ships. A lot of them are really toxic and some are less so, but still probably toxic. But at the end of the day, being toxic online to real-life people will always be worse than liking a toxic fictional character. (this is not directed to anon, just a general note for the fandom because I've seen so many people get into such nasty fights over fictional ships)

They really said SWAPSIES

I don't know what I saw when I first looked at you, yet somehow I knew I would end up hurting at your hands.

Even still, I did not look away.