#steferine

NINA DOBREV as Katherine Pierce

There is a reason why all women preferred Stefan over Damon in the show. He treats them well, even after they hurt him (physically and/or emotionally). This is to not say he was without fault at times, but compared to Damon, Stefan is very forgiving towards women. I'm talking Elena, Katherine, Caroline, Valerie, Rebekah and even his own mother, Lily. He allows them to be vulnerable, seen and heard. Even Bonnie couldn't help but have a soft spot for him because she knew deep down he was good.

Elena:

Canonically the love of his life. Emotionally cheated on him with Damon since almost the beginning of their relationship. Moved on to be with Damon barely 24 hours after they broke up (due to her sire bonded feelings for him which didn't make sense anyway because her feelings for Stefan should've been much higher since she chose him at the end of season 3). Chose Damon twice over him.

Spent 3 months having the time of her life with Damon while he was busy drowning in a quarry (which you can argue she couldn't control that but she had dreams and intense visions about it because he was reaching out to her). Spent her time making amnesia Stefan relive their time in love together only for her to let it slip that she's with Damon while they were about to kiss. PLUS, homegirl had the AUDACITY to be jealous any time Stefan received female attention (and Stefan called her out on it a couple of times too).

As a former Stelena fan, it really hurt seeing these two break up for good and knowing they weren't gonna be endgame. Stefan's heartbreak was palpable through the screen and the way he forced himself to just accept Delena's relationship and even managed to convince himself they were good for each other (EEEYUCK). Funny because according to Elena, "You were the perfect boyfriend, you always respected my choices." (season 5). Can't say the same for Damon.

However, despite choosing Damon, Stefan never stopped choosing to love Elena. He was there for her when she went her no-humanity phase(thanks to Damon's dumb ass), fought like hell to get the cure for her (even though she ended up not using it), and was just there whenever she was in danger like being an augustine vampire. And no, I don't believe it's because he felt he owed her back for her time being there for him, it's because of love.

Katherine:

The reason he became a vampire and cursed with that existence. The reason him and his brother had such a fractured, complicated relationship. Threatened to take Elena's life and tried to. The reason why almost every other bad thing happened in that town since her arrival. Even after stating that he hated her and wanted nothing to do with her, Katherine kept coming around, pretending to be Elena to fool the brothers, and wouldn't leave him alone. He owed her nothing and his hate for her was warranted. She ruined his life.

But when she was dying in season 5, he showed her compassion. He saved her life when she jumped from the bell tower.

On her deathbed, Damon tormented her with dreams of her family's murder, insisting it was her fault. But Stefan reminded her that she was only a kid who fought to survive. He then kissed her goodbye when she "died" (only for her to then steal Elena's body and assume her identity).

Caroline:

Loved their friendship. Disliked their relationship and the buildup to that because it was so forced and I felt Stefan was basically bullied into returning Caroline's feelings.

Caroline forced Stefan to turn off his humanity because she compelled Elena's boytoy (forgot his name) to play surgeon on Stefan's niece, Sarah. Stefan, always putting those he cares about first, switches his humanity off. To know that Stefan hates his ripper nature and being a vampire because of the immense guilt he feels for what he does, and forcing him to turn it off anyway is cold. Caroline basically turned off her humanity because Stefan wanted to let her grieve first before jumping into a relationship, it really wasn't because of her mom dying.

Look at the joy in her face while he looks constipated for what he was about to do.

However despite that, he still tries to help her to flip her switch back on (after he turned back his) and doesn't hold an ounce of resentment toward her at all for making him to turn himself back into a monster again. His empathy for women has no bounds.

Stefan even pursues a relationship with Caroline after she tries and fails to avoid him due to her guilt at Alaric and Jo's wedding. You'd think this would make him want to distance himself and reevaluate his feelings towards Caroline, but it just propels him forward.

Stefan: "You're avoiding me."

Valerie:

What happened with Valerie wasn't her fault since she was beaten and kidnapped by Julian but it didn't change that fact that she was Stefan's first heartbreak. He believed for 150 years that she left him and wrote 10 pages in his journal about her.

I just remembered that he couldn't see nor hear her in this scene.

But despite everything, they rekindled their relationship and traveled the world together. I think they had more chemistry than Steroline and should've stayed together. Caroline moved on, had kids, and her dream job. Why did that have to be disrupted for a lackluster romance? Stefan would've never even went back to Caroline if Valerie didn't insist on it.

Rebekah:

Teamed up with his brother to make him lose control over his bloodlust again because she liked that version of him better.

Killed Elena which turned her into a vampire.

Compelled him to listen to Elena confess sleeping with Damon and saying she was no longer in love with Stefan. Rebekah was quite vindictive when she wanted to be (though not without reason).

He still slept with her that same season.

They also were teamed up to find the cure in Nova Scotia because he trusted her more than he trusted Damon and Elena at the time.

Rebekah, being 1000+ years old, clinging onto to a 160 year-old-vampire for dear life is so funny to me LOL.

And lastly, Lily:

Lily left Stefan and Damon. They believed she died of consumption, but she actually escaped from their abusive father but failed to bring them with her. She started a new heretic family and didn't try to be in touch with her sons. She forgot about them because they were a reminder of her old life.

Damon hated Lily and he never forgave her for abandoning him and his brother. He couldn't muster some sympathy even when on her deathbed. (can't find gifs)

But she was still the only thing that made Stefan flip his switch back on in season 6 even though she didn't really love him.

And with her, Stefan says this:

He was just happy to have his mother back in his life, the person who he believed died a long time ago.

Stefan was more than ready to reconcile and Damon wasn't having it. They argued several times over their feelings toward Lily, debating on whether to forgive her or not.