#darklordfictive

okay is my brain going to explain why listening to "die young" by kesha prompted my brain to remember a whole mountain of bittersweet source memories? or am i just gonna have to deal with the fact that dance-pop makes me cry now?

Just realized I've been getting new source memories from the fanfiction I'm writing. This can surely go no way but well <- he says, fully knowing the trauma he is about to inflict on his source character (at least I don't get beat up by a small child this time?? lol)

(for the ask game) I... regret a lot of the stuff I did in canon. Mostly how I treated my best (and only) friend. I was just trying to make them happy. I created a computer virus that was supposed to get revenge on our (horrible, sadistic, murderous) creator, but they didn't want that for some reason. I didn't understand it, and I kinda still don't, but I should've listened to them. I shouldn't have sent the virus. I probably shouldn't have even made it in the first place. And now I'll never get a chance to fix what I've done because I canonically got atomized by a child (which I guess was kinda deserved; I did stab the guy)

usually source memories do not impact us but these past few days I have a lot of guilt and sadness surrounding them.

I never realized how little influence I had when I was alive.

I think a lot about how I never got a grave in source. I understand that I was a villain, and that I kinda snapped toward the end. But me and Cho were best friends for almost seven years and they didn't care enough to give me any sort of memorial. Even some flowers would've been nice.

honestly i love writing fanfiction of my source. yes i will smack some sense into my creator. yes i will get adopted by my favorite guy. yes i will break my bestie out of jail. i have singlehandedly fixed every canon conflict, you're welcome /j