#damientte

As Damian drove them over to her apartment, Marinette texted Adrien and Kagami. She lied and said the date had been a disaster and she was at home. The moment they arrived, Damian texted Jon saying there had been an accident at the café and he desperately needed a change of clothes. He told him they had gone to her place as it was closer to the café.

Damian quickly hid in her room and Marinette sat on the couch facing the door. She buried her face in her hands as she heard footsteps pounding the hallways like a stampede. Her front door was thrown open.

"What happened?" Adrien shouted.

"I have my blade!" Kagami cried, holding it up in the air.

Almost instantly, Jon barreled into them shouting, "I have clothes!"

"Ow." Adrien winced, "Jon?"

"Who is he?" the fencer demanded.

They turned to Marinette for answers, only to see her glaring at them. They hadn't even heard her get up from the couch.

"Sit down; now!" she demanded.

Jon had never seen Marinette pissed off, but Adrien had.

'Not good!'

Adrien quickly grabbed Kagami's arm and pulled her to sit down where Mari had been. Jon wasn't sure what was going on, but he rushed to sit next to the others.

"You can come out now." Mari called out and Damian walked out.

"Hey!" Jon whined, "You said-"

Damian grabbed the clothes out of his friends arms and went back to his girlfriend's room.

"All three of you made this date a disaster." Marinette claimed.

"But-"

"We didn't know where we were going so we were dressed horribly." Marinette stated, "As a fashion designer that is a huge no in my books. While I don't mind Damian dressed casual, it would be fine if we were going to the mall, the movies, or a shopping date. I'm wearing a $200 dress that you insisted I wear."

"But you look so cute!" Adrien defended himself.

"I'm in heels, Adrien!" Mari shouted back.

Kagami even looked at him, like he lost his mind.

"You had us go to a tea shop." she spoke, pointing to Jon.

"Damian likes tea and you like sweets." Jon shrugged. Kagami sighed, "She grew up in a bakery. She bakes all the time. Marinette probably has five different types of bread or sweets in her kitchen, right now."

"While it's great you thought of both of us, they have specials on certain days. They were serving roast beef sandwiches today." Marinette explained.

"Oh." Jon whispered, sinking lower into his seat, praying that Batcow would forgive him.

Damian walked out of the room and took Marinette's spot as she walked into her room.

"Where did you get these ideas?" Damian demanded.

"Manga." they all answered.

Marinette walked out of her room in a new change of clothes. She kept her hair down, but was red crop top and black short. She had even traded in red heels for some white converse high tops.

"So?" Mari questioned.

"Manga." Damian answered.

Marinette facepalmed, "Swap mangas or something, but next time you want to give advice, make sure everyone has read it. Also, make sure you all agree with it."

Kagami pouted, "So, I don't need my blade, right now."

"No, Kagami." Mari responded.

"Fine." the fencer replied, sheathing it away.

"I'm sorry, Mari." Adrien spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Damian." Jon declared, " I was only trying to help."

"As was I." Kagami stated.

Mari smiled and grabbed Damian's hand, " Alright, well, now that that is over with; let's go."

"Where are you going?" Kagami questioned.

"We're gonna go on a pizza date." Marinette answered.

Damian spoke, "We are picking it up and then heading to my place to watch movies."

"It sounds boring." Huffs Adrien.

Mari stuck out her tongue at him and turned back to her boyfriend, "It sounds perfect."

The trio of friends pouted as all their hard work went to waste.

'Weirdos.'

As the couple walked out of Marinette's apartment, the three new friends began to go over what manga they had fixated on for the date and others they had read.

“You feeling okay?” Clark asks, like the mother hen he pretends not to be.

“No,” Bruce grunts.

“It’s only an army, gentlemen. We’ve faced worse before,” Diana says from her seat. She repetitively, one might almost say nervously, sharpens a pair of knives Bruce swears were already so finely edged they could cut air, but he won’t mention that to the armed warrior princess.

“I’m not worried about the army. We’ll be fine.” Bruised, battered, and bloodied perhaps, but they’ll be fine.

Clark tilts his head, looking like a human, non-yellow version of Big Bird. “So why the headache?”

Bruce sighs. “My children are doing something stupid.”

Clark and Diana look at him askance.

He has categories for his headaches. They are all distinct, so much so he named them according to the type of situations they arise from. The Situation-has-gone-to-shit headache, the Joker-has-escaped-Arkham-again headache, or, a personal favorite, the Press-are-being-stupid headache.

This particular headache is a slow build. Bubbling at the base of his neck and slithering its way into his temples. It pounds in time to his heart and sends a feeling of nausea down his gullet.

It’s his My-children-have-done-something-stupid-and-the-consequences-have-spiraled-out-of-control headache.

It was one he was very familiar with.

“How- but… they’re on Earth,” says Clark in confusion. “Did you get like, a text or something?”

“No,” Bruce says plainly. His headaches never lie. He bet if he calls right now, they would either not pick up at all, or they would, and utter chaos would be occurring on his home planet more than several million miles away. Where he can’t do anything.

This is why the headache warning is completely impractical and unneeded.

“Then how do you know?” Diana asks.

“I always know.” They’ve worked with him for long enough, they should already know this.

Clark shakes his head. “It’s not that I don’t believe you about the headache B, but isn’t it more likely it’s just from stress and lack of sleep. None of us are as young as we used to be.”

“Speak for yourselves, mortals,” Diana says with a half-hearted smile. Her immortality was an ever-lingering shadow over her friendships. It didn’t stop her from making friends though.

“Well, we can’t all be perfect immortal warrior princesses,” Clark responds with a smile. He places a hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze. A silent acknowledgment they were all still there. Together.

For now.

Bruce shoots them both an unimpressed stare. “If it was just from stress and sleep deprivation I would be able to handle it.” Plus, that headache is completely different from this one, he knows what his Lack-of-sleep-too-much-stress ­headache feels like, but this isn’t it. “No, it’s specifically the headache I get when my children are causing problems.” He sighs, pulling out his interstellar communicator. He really should focus on the approaching alien army, but he can at least set the groundwork for dealing with whatever problem has arisen when he gets back.

He shoots Alfred a text letting him know about the headache, and to locate his children as soon as possible.

Had he known this would be the case all those years ago when he first adopted Dick… well, he still probably would have done it. He loves all his kids to the moon and back. Headaches and all.

“I don’t get headaches about my kids,” Clark grumbles. He pauses, thinking. “At least not before I’m sure they’re causing trouble.”

“That’s because your kids don’t cause trouble the same way mine do,” says Bruce, thinking of the unique and eclectic skill sets each of his children possessed. Yes, much more potential danger-making than two kids with superpowers. “I need the early warning system.”

A screeching alarm sounds on one of the monitors. Bruce checks it. The approaching army’s scouting parties finally arrive in range of their volleying.

“Ready?” he asks, pulling up his cowl. All frustrations and weaknesses melting away. This is serious.

Diana stands, sheathing the knives, and poses herself to leap into action. “Verily. Let’s show this scum who not to mess with.”

Clark comes over and places a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “You sure you’ll be good?” Bruce only gives a silent glare back. He’s fought on broken bones and with poison running through his veins. A headache is child’s play. “Alright, alright just making sure. Let’s get this over with and get home, so you can deal with whatever mess your children have created.”

“Perhaps, it won’t be so bad,” muses Diana, winding up her lasso, as their first enemy comes into range. “Your children are smart and creative warriors. Certainly, they can rescue themselves out of whatever trouble they’ve risen.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about them getting out of trouble,” says Bruce. He’s trained them better than that. “I’m worried about anyone else who might get caught up in the chaos.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Clark reassures. “They’re good kids.” He shoots down an enemy drone ship with a blast of laser vision. “What’s the worst they could do?”

Another shiver rolls down Bruce’s spine. Oh, he’s sure it could get very, very bad. After all, he’s trained them. But considering a giant alien tank, covered in spikes, and lobbing explosive mortars drops down thirty feet away, he feels Clark’s last comment, in all its misguided naiveté, deserves to go unanswered.

He’ll deal with whatever chaos his children have concocted when he’s back on earth.

0o0o0o0o0 (line break) 0o0o0o0o0

A day and a half later the aliens are defeated and the reigning government properly reinstated. The Justice League, given their due thanks and medical assistance, board back onto their ship and settle in for a long interstellar trip back to the Watchtower. By the time medical clears him, Bruce is barely able to keep his eyes open. When he finally beams down from the Watchtower, it is so late it’s inching on early.

Thankfully, no one’s in the cave when he arrives. His chest is bandaged, and his concussion is minor, but he’s in no mood to deal with people. He strips out of his suit and takes a hot shower. The cave’s water pressure hits the right spot on his sore and battered body. Once finished, he retrieves a pair of comfy clothes stashed in his locker, and downs a handful of extra-strength pain meds from the med bay.

He glances back at the computer. Once upon a time; ten, even five years ago maybe, he'd seat himself down and work till the sun came up. Checking and double-checking all the going-ons in his city until he was sufficiently informed. Now though he can't even begin to muster up the energy to care. He knows his children, for all that they might have caused problems he'll have to deal with once he's more awake, will have handled everything. If this city's not on active fire (which it isn't, Bruce did check that) it can wait till tomorrow.

Or, well, later today.

Bruce ambles over to the elevator.  

He sighs once the doors close, slumping against the metallic interior. A hand run across his still-damp hair hits the bump that caused the concussion; he winces. Every twinging bruise splayed across his body throbs in a synchronous agonizing orchestra. He’s been in far more extensive pain than this, more times than he can count on all the fingers and toes of his adopted children, but for some reason, he needs the elevator wall to keep himself standing.

Clark was right. They weren’t getting any younger. 

Retirement was in his future soon. If he wasn’t dead before then. 

But the mission continued, as it always did, and until Bruce could no longer rise to meet it, he would continue to fight.

But for now; sleep and extra strength pain meds.

He barely remembers walking down the corridors to his room, much less falling face first into his bed. By the time his head hit the pillow, he is fast asleep.

0o0o0o0o0 (line break) 0o0o0o0o0

Morning comes all too early.

It also comes with an unexpected wake-up call.

“Rise and shine, Master Bruce,” says a suspiciously smug voice. Bruce groans at the sound and shoves a pillow over his face as Alfred throws open the heavy brocade curtains letting in a stream of mid-summer sunlight enter his room.

“What have I done to deserve this betrayal?” Bruce hisses, brain entirely too foggy to recall if he’d done something to piss Alfred off before he left for space.

“This isn’t betrayal Master Bruce. It’s eleven-thirty and high time for your day to begin.” Bruce hears Alfred puttering around his room like a well-practiced dance.

“I just fought an army to a standstill and prevented a terrorist coup on an alien planet. Can’t I just skip existing today?” Bruce feels that is more than fair. He would like to continue sleeping.

“I’m afraid opting out of consciousness is an unfeasible course of action for you today, dear boy. However, I did bring you breakfast if you’d like to pry yourself out of bed long enough to enjoy it.” Alfred’s voice is calm and steady. The elderly butler doesn’t allow food in bed. Ever. So, breakfast in your room is as close to breakfast-in-bed that the residents of Wayne manor get.

Bruce peaks his head out from under the pillow. Sure enough, Alfred has a breakfast platter set up over at his seating nook. Fresh fruit, a fluffy omelet, steaming blueberry scones, and a piping hot French press full of pitch-black coffee.

Oh.

Oh no.

Bruce’s sleepiness evaporates in an instant. “I don’t get breakfast in my room unless I’m sick or dying, and since the Watchtower med bay cleared me, I’m currently neither of those things.” A familiar pounding pain, this time manifesting right behind his eyes and seeping outward takes up residence in his head. Bruce closes his eyes and rubs at the lids with his thumb and pointer finger.

This is his Alfred-is-about- to- give-me-bad-news headache.

He takes a deep breath, braces himself, and asks, “How bad is it?”

The elderly man doesn’t turn around, continuing to straighten the objects on the platter. It’s his own form of fidgeting. “I also have yesterday’s newspaper available for you to peruse.”

Bruce groans, smacking his head against the headboard. “The newspaper? They managed to get themselves in the fucking newspaper!”

He loves his children.

He swears he does.

But he is absolutely gonna wring their necks.

“In or out of masks?” he asks, dreading the answer. Maybe it’s in masks. Maybe he can manage the fallout without having to resort to press conferences, official statements, or-

“You have several missed calls from Wayne Enterprise’s PR team.”

“Fuck.”

“Verily.”

Throwing off the covers, Bruce doesn’t bother to hide a wince as sore feet hit wooden floors. He treads to the sitting area, draping his Batman-themed dressing gown – Dick’s most recent Christmas gift – over his clothes. Laying himself across the chaise lounge, he snags a blueberry scone and stuffs it into his mouth.

Alfred sits opposite, in the chair on the other side of the coffee table, and pours himself a cup of tea.

Years ago, the proper uptight butler would never have broken propriety to sit with his charge and eat. But at this point; he’s raised Bruce, grandparented seven traumatized children to adulthood – despite several dying and resurrecting, along the way- kept a manor house running by himself on nothing but spite and dedication alone, became the equivalent of a triage medic with the amount of stitching and emergency surgery done over the years, and been the sole voice of reason for a house full of over-dramatic-theatre-kids-turned-vigilantes.

He adds two lumps of sugar to his tea and offers Bruce the newspaper with an unreadable face.  

There are a few moments of silence as Bruce scans the words, digesting the story laid out in black and white on the pages.

“An IKEA?”

“Yes sir.”

“And whose grand idea was that?”

“I believe Master Richard’s.”

Bruce sighs. The headache intensifies.

“What were they trying to accomplish?”

“A good old-fashioned game of hide-and-seek.”

Bruce shook the paper. “How does hide-and-seek turn into property damages, worker strikes, and-” he squints at the paper. “Ball pit insurrections!”

“I’m afraid you will have to hear the entire story from the children Master Bruce, I’m not sure I could do the tale justice.”

Bruce narrows his eyes, now Alfred is just being cagey.

“Security threw them out?”

Alfred sips his tea. “No, they insisted they left voluntarily. Although, all but Damian are now banned from every IKEA on the eastern seaboard, and Master Timothy has spent the past day and a half fielding media outlets and assessing the amount of compensation this incident will require to quietly smooth over.”

Rolling his eyes, Bruce says, “This is going to fuel media speculations for weeks. Quiet is not on the books.” He grabs another scone but stops halfway to his mouth. Rereads the article. “Damian’s not mentioned.”

“No, he’s not.”

“He’s not banned like his brothers.”

“No, he’s not.”

Alfred’s face is very still.

“Alfred…”

“The children, Master Bruce.” Alfred insists again. “I assure you; you’ll want to hear the full recounting of their shenaniganry from them.”

Bruce sighs, again. “The girls would never do this to me. The girls would never get involved in something like this.”

“No…” Alfred says, slowly, reaching for a scone. Bruce covers his face with his hands and leans back against the lounge, the dull throb behind his eyes accosting his brain full force. “If you turn to page four, you’ll see a local pet shop was uncovered as a front for the Russian mob. Spoiler and Black Bat were instrumental in helping the police smoke out the perpetrators. Less helpful would be the subsequent three-hour car chase across the southern half of the city, but that’s neither here nor there.” He picks up the French press. “Coffee, Master Bruce?”

Bruce wishes he was back in space fighting the alien army.

AN: Alright that's the end of chapter 1. Should have the next one out sometime Monday. I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you all for your wonderful comments and reblogs over the past few days. It warms my heart and makes me giddy with joy how many of you love this silly little series. I hope that this can brighten your day as much as you brighten mine.

If you want to read this on ao3 you can click here!

Okay, at this point, I should say that Batman and Robin are in the background trying to make some sense.

Batman is surprised to find out that Constantine has a daughter who is also involved in magic like her Father but an apparently more specialised kind called the Miraculous. He is a little miffed that he didn’t know about John having a daughter. He did consider it weird at first that she had a slight french accent unlike her father’s Liverpool accent although she pronounced some words like he does.

He also connected some dots that she is also the Parisian heroine, Lady Rouge who Wonder Woman introduced to the League a while back and had declined to join the Young Justice or Teen Titans until everything in Paris was resolved.

Damian on the other hand was suspicious of the new arrival and came to the same conclusion as his father about the daughter thing.

Batman after a few minutes, clears his throat.

The Constantines stop arguing.

“Bonjour. Batman. Robin. Pleasure to meet you. I am Mari Constantine and yes, I am this homeless looking man’s brilliant daughter.” “Hey”

“Well, Mari. Your father thinks you can help us with this new criminal turning Gotham upside down. Literally in some cases. He said that you might be able to help us.” Batman said as he pulled up zoomed in picture of the Miraculous.

Mari looks through the Miraculous grimoire and tells them all about it and power-ups, basically the most effective thing to defeat the guy is to get the Miraculous off them. Plus a spell that would make the Miraculous ineffective if casted within a certain radius of it.

“Thank you for the information, Mari. Constantine, let’s go.”

Mari made to follow them.

“You young lady are grounded and staying here.”

“I don’t need another supervillain using the Miraculous which are my responsibility as Guardian to retrieve them for their own misuse and wreaking havoc on the city. And what if there is an akuma in Paris? I can’t go there if I am grounded in the Batcave although it is a cool place to hang out.”

“You can portal back to Paris but you are not going to follow me. Understood?”

“yes. crystal”

“Good. After me and Batsy get the Miraculous, you can do your Guardian duties.”

Damian snickers. Until Batman cut his mood short, “You are staying behind too. Robin.”

“But Father, why? I am much more capable than Constantine.”

“Hey!” Both father and daughter.

Damian is staying behind too because of the Miraculous power or other reasons and keeps an eye on Mari.

Damian stays behind and there were some protests about mari mad about having a babysitter and Damian doesn’t want to be a babysitter. Despite the two of them being around the same age.

“I got an eye on you so no funny business.”

“Okay, Dad, I am not going to have sex with Robin.” Mari said with a shit- eating grin. Robin definitely didn’t blush.

“I hate you sometimes.”

“I love you too, Dad. Go save the world. Byee.”

John eyes her suspiciously because she is not one to give up that easily usually.

He casts a spell to watch her as they leave. and which she totally knew about.

“So...I have one question.”

“Tt, ask and don’t bother me anymore.”

“Is Batman Bruce Wayne?”

Damian looks up, totally caught off guard.

“I am going to take that as a yes.”

Puts sword at her neck. “How did you find out?!”

“Opened up Google Maps and saw that we are under Wayne Manor. Connected the dots. Also I already knew when Dad made a bet with me once to find out Batman’s secret identity but he never did confirm it for me. And can you please not tell your father about this? I don’t feel like being interrogated by the Bat in the future yet.”

“Father must know about this.”

“I saw you looking at Scarlet here. An animal lover then? You can give her some belly rubs. She deserves it after helping me outrun those monsters.”

His silence was brought. To pet a dragon.

One thing after another and he ends up bringing out his pets-Jerry the turkey, Goliath the dragon-bat, Titus- and her introducing him to her other pets like a hellhound, griffin and other mythical creatures who mostly roam free but come to her when she calls for them and also the kwamis, at least the ones who came with her.

After 30 mins have passed, “So Robin how do you feel about disobeying our fathers?”

“I am in.”

“Depends. Are we going after the (villain's name) ?”

“Yes.”

Awesome montage of them getting rid of the spell John casted and flying out of the Batcave on their respective giant flying pets to the villain’s base.

Meanwhile, their fathers are not doing so well and are trapped in a death trap. John can’t say the spell because the villain made him unable to talk.

“At least, the kids are staying put.”

Cut to Damian and Mari jumping off their pets and onto the roof. Taking out the guards posted there and going into the building all sneakily and also taking out the guards that come their way.

They dropped into the room where their fathers and the villain is.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Villain starts an evil monologue about his mastermind plan to which Damian cuts it short by trying to cut him down with his katana. Mari goes to deactivate the death trap.

They are evenly matched with Damian’s training and the Miraculous.

Mari steps in as Damian was about to be killed. Taps on the shoulder of the villain and when he turns around, gives an awesome right hook that knocks him out.

Takes away the Miraculous and curses him. Wiped the dude’s memories of it.

“When I said stay in the Batcave, I meant stay behind at the Batcave. What point of being grounded, don’t you understand?”

“You mean, Oh, Mari, light of my life, my wonderful daughter, thank you for saving my ass. You are the best.’ by that, right?”

-----

Mari and Damian exchanged numbers and email addresses.

As she was about to leave the Batcave, “It’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne.” and leaves with a wink.

John ‘ungrounds’ her for the look on Batman’s face.

-----

After this, Marinette and Damian become friends who bitch and vent to each other about their alter egos and various villains of their respective cities. (In codes, just in case) They also share updates about their pets and love of drawings.

They have that type of friendship where they trade favors. Mari calls Damian to Paris sometimes to help out with the akuma of the day and Damian sometimes calls her in when Bruce doesn’t let him go investigate a case so he can sneak out by magical means or as back up for when his brothers were too annoying to deal with.

It’s summer break so no missing school.

John and Bruce are aware of their friendship and some of the shenanigans the pair gets into behind their back.

-----

-----

Right. how this all started...

John and Sabine first met when the latter was still in college somewhere in France. John was tracking down a demonic entity which was targeting Sabine for some reason and she was the next target.

John saved her life and exorcised the demon. There was a heat of the moment thing and they had a one-night stand. There were a few more flings and hook-ups after that night.

And nine months later, Marinette Cheryl Cheng-Constantine was born.

When Sabine first found out, she called John to come over and he thought that it was a call for another hook-up and was very surprised to find out that it was not and that he was going to be a father.

They both like each other but do not want to be in a relationship together so they both remained as friends and John agreed after some strong-arming at the very least to meet his daughter before he goes to do his job. And pay for child support. And help Sabine during her pregnancy.

Pregnant Sabine was someone you don’t want to mess with. And John has never met a demon or anyone scarier than her.

He was at first not into meeting his child and there was a self-pity party he threw himself with how the child was going to live a bad life because he was the dad and how he destroyed every good thing in his life.

That’s why he is going to meet the baby once and leave maybe a letter and the occasional birthday present and stay out of their life. Forever.

The day Marinette was born and it took one look into her eyes for the HellBlazer to fall under the spell and all of his plans to stay out of her life to burn away.

At first, he tried. He really tried but he couldn’t do it.

Lasted 4 months before he came back, wanting to place protection spells on her and sigils around the house to keep away the forces of Heaven and Hell and other entities so they won’t use her against him as a bargaining chip.

Sabine calls him to babysit. He could have refused and Sabine would have easily found a babysitter. He moans and whines about how he is a great mage and not a bloody babysitter. Sabine retorts that it is actually called parenting since he is Marinette’s father. He grumbles but in the end, agrees.

The great John Constantine is wrapped around the little girl’s finger.

He was around for some of Marinette’s firsts. Her first word was “John”.

It made him cry. He wasn’t a good man and he doesn’t deserve someone this precious. His daughter doesn’t deserve someone like him as a father but fate made it that way and what can you do about it.

After an exhausting week of doing the usual and coming back from Hell, he saw that Sabine had sent him a video. It was Marinette taking her first steps.

Chas swears that in all the years that he has known John Constantine he has never seen the man look so happy.

------

When Tom came into the picture, John was there to take care of a toddler Marinette while Tom and Sabine went on dates.

Insert John threatening a much bigger Tom while holding a baby Marinette with wide eyes and hugging a teddy bear with the same coat as John’s. (It was something Sabine brought on a whim and to tease John when he came around.)

Tom is supportive and treats Marinette like his own flesh and blood.

John resolved to leave for good now that Tom would be there to be a father figure for Marinette.

That plan fell into the drain the moment he was going to leave for what was supposed to be the last time before Sabine pulled him back and knocked some sense into him.

His face was a big giveaway. Sabine knows that despite his claims of being a terrible father for Marinette, he was a good one and damnit she was going to make sure that Marinette would get to know her actual father.

Tom later made an awkward talk with John about how he was not going to replace John’s role as Marinette’s father.

Marinette was the flower girl at Tom and Sabine’s wedding. John was there too.

During bedtime, John would read her stories and use his magic to make it come to life. Although he would feel a little drained afterwards, it was worth it to see her smile.

Sometimes he told stories about his tamer adventures. (After cutting out some of the inappropriate bits)

------

When Marinette was about 5 or 6, Sabine was out on an errand and Tom was at home with Mari and helping her with her homework. There was a crash downstairs at the bakery. Tom went down to check it out to find John lying on the ground.

With a weak cough, he said, “Close the door. Close it.” Before losing consciousness

Tom did before a man with pitch black eyes slammed against it.

Thankfully John had installed heavy wards around the bakery when it first opened.

They held against the demon on John’s tail. Tom brought John inside and unsure of what to do, grabbed a rolling pin on the counter.

The man outside started pounding on the glass door and every time his hands touched the door, light glowed outwards, showing the invisible magic barrier around the bakery. Sparks and steams fizzled with every pound.

Despite the reddening and burns of his hands, the not-human didn’t slow down.

“ʝօɦռ....ʏօʊ ӄռօա ȶɦǟȶ ɨȶ'ֆ օռʟʏ ǟ ʍǟȶȶɛʀ օʄ ȶɨʍɛ ɮɛʄօʀɛ ɨ ɮʀɛǟӄ ȶɦʀօʊɢɦ ȶɦɛֆɛ աǟʀɖֆ. օռƈɛ ɨ ɢɛȶ ʏօʊ,” He laughs, the sound sends chills down the large man’s spine, “ȶɦɛʀɛ ǟʀɛ ֆօ ʍǟռʏ ȶɦɨռɢֆ ɨ ɦǟʋɛ քʟǟռռɛɖ ʄօʀ ʏօʊ.”

Tom knew that Marinette’s father was a con man. Come on, Master and Practitioner of the Dark Arts and Occult. But he was a good father nonetheless despite all his flaws and Sabine liked him enough so that was good enough for him.

Before today, magic was just the sleight of hands and use of fancy tools to sell the illusions. Now, with a could-be-a-demon knocking on his door to get to the father of the girl he sees as his daughter, he’s not so sure.

“Tom? Qu'est-ce qui se passe? (What’s going on?)” A little voice came from the stairs, “Dad!” Marinette padded across the floor to the body of her passed out father.

She shook him awake and there were a few soft slaps to the face.

“Dad, what’s happened?”

John mumbles, “Demon…. possessing some rich guy….. Exorcism…. Doesn’t like me very much…Don’t worry...wards going to hold.”

John manages to stand before falling down and Tom catches him before he hits the floor. He has a concussion. Tom turns to Marinette, “Go, Hide and don’t come out until It’s safe.” which she did

Unfortunately, a while later, Sabine returns from her night out and the demon upon seeing Sabine. “ɛӼƈɛʟʟɛռȶ..”

The demon possessed Sabine and the previously possessed dude hit the sidewalk with a thud.

“ɨռȶɛʀɛֆȶɨռɢ....” The voice coming out of Sabine didn’t sound like her mother which scared Marinette a lot. “օքɛռ ȶɦɨֆ ɖօօʀ օʀ,”the demon pulled a knife out of thin air, ,“ȶɦɨֆ ɮօɖʏ ɢɛȶֆ ɨȶ.”

Tom hesitated until the demon put the knife on Sabine’s neck and put enough force for a thin line of blood to be shown.

He opens the door and the demon knocks him out. Stepping over his unconscious body and looking down on it, “ʄօʀ ȶɦǟȶ, ɨ ǟʍ ɢօɨռɢ ȶօ ʟɛȶ ʏօʊ ʟɨʋɛ ʊռȶɨʟ ɨ ǟʍ ɖօռɛ աɨȶɦ ʝօɦռ, օʄ ƈօʊʀֆɛ.” and cackles. The sound was so wrong and unnerving and little Marinette tried very hard for her sobs not to be heard.

Too bad the demon had super hearing. “Come out, my little blossom. Maman is home. Why don’t you come out and give me a hug?”

It sounded so much like her mother and she nearly believed that it was her mother and not some entity in control of her body.

But she knew better from John’s stories of dealing with demons and how they would use the voice of loved ones to lure them out and into a trap. (Definitely not something one should tell as a bedtime story but Marinette was very different and had an unconventional childhood with John Constantine as her father.)

Wait...she got struck with an idea but she wasn’t sure if it would work.

Before she could do anything, the door of the cabinet she was hiding in was opened and she was dragged out.

The demon lifted her a few feet above the ground by the collar of her dress.

It heard Marinette saying something. “աɦǟȶ ǟʀɛ ʏօʊ ֆǟʏɨռɢ ƈɦɨʟɖ, ֆքɛǟӄ ʟօʊɖɛʀ?”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.” Marinette was now screaming the words at the top of her lungs. She repeated the spell over and over again with fierce determination.

John, being his paranoid self, taught her the spell for an exorcism, just in case. Demons spared no one, not even a girl.

It screamed “NO….” as Sabine’s body contorted in strange angles before a dark shadow seemed to be dragged down into the ground. It made a desperate attempt to possess John before it was pulled away and disappeared. There was no sign that there was a demon attack.

After John woke up, he managed to piece together that his 5-years-old (Sorry 5 and a half) daughter sent a demon back to hell.

He was a very proud dad. (He was a tad worried about the consequences from this event and demons hold one hell of a grudge. He wanted his daughter to live a very safe and happy life. The bakery’s wards also need an upgrade.)

He also got the job of explaining what he actually did to Tom. And lots of reassuring.

Sabine, on one hand, was not happy that Marinette knew how to do magic. That is until John told her that he did it just in case so she can protect herself and later it was agreed that Marinette can learn some Magic spells and charms to better protect herself and when she is older, she can decide if she wants to continue or not.

----

“Ok, Damian, have fun.” Dick turned to his brothers. “Well, boys it looks like we’ll have the apartment to ourselves Damian’s staying with Marinette tonight.”

“And you're ok with that?!” Jason asked, shocked Dick would let their youngest brother stay over with his girlfriend.

“Oh don’t give me that they’re both eighteen now and something tells me Marinette’s parents will keep more than one eye on them. So what do you guys want to do tonight.” The three brothers had decided that this trip to Paris would also be family time, especially considering how they didn’t really get any of that during the year.

“Movie?” Tim asked.

“Which one.” Jason was not watching another

“How bout this one?” Tim picked up the box that Damian had left sitting out on the coffee table earlier that morning. Jason plucked it from Tim’s hands and began reading the title. “Night of the living statue. Are you sure this doesn’t even seem scary?”

“I mean there’s always the crowbar wielding clown we could watch.”

“Oh yeah, that one got burned a while ago.”

“Fair enough.”

“So Night of the living statue it is,” Dick said, already making the popcorn.

------------------

“No don’t go into the basement, oh come on!” Jason was yelling at the screen.

“Jason you know they can’t hear you right?” Tim said rolling his eyes, which were illuminated by the laptop screen sitting in front of him.

“I don’t care Replacement the fact they’re doing it goes against every bit of common sense, it just doesn’t make, well--”

“Sense?” Dick supplied walking back into the room with the third popcorn bucket of the evening.

“Exactly I just don’t get it!” Jason held out his hands and made a grabbing motion for the bucket Dick easily sidestepped him and plopped down between the two.

“Ok, Tim popcorns back computers off.” He said as he finished getting settled.

“But I’m almost in, five more minutes and we get authentic Wayne manor security footage, and that’s better than any movie.

“Rules are rules replacement you agreed to the trade so you have to deal with it,” Jason said munching on popcorn.

“He’s right, and anyway if you keep going at it we’re gonna get a call from Al-” Right on cue, the video call screen popped up on Tim’s computer. He groaned before hitting accept.

“Hey, Alf good to see ya ol’ buddy ol’ pal! How’s the good ol’ USofA?” He said in an overly perky voice.

“Master Drake if I might request you stop attempting to hack onto the Batcave system it would be much appreciated.” Alfred’s voice rang over the call.

“Just hacking into security footage, huh?” Dick said glaring at Tim, Paris was a no hero weekend and Tim just broke that.

“I uh… I’m gonna go.” He said ending the call, moving quickly he closed his laptop grabbed a handful of popcorn, bolted over the couch to the room he was staying in, and closed the door.  

“Well, that’s the last we’ll be seeing of him tonight,” Dick said moving to grab his phone. He opened up Alfred’s contact at called him back. “Sorry, Alfred he’s just itching to get a case. He’s gotten really bored seeing Paris like a normal person, well as normal as you can get given we’re Waynes.”

“Don’t worry about it I have one of those as well.” He panned his camera over to where Bruce was sitting cowl down at the computer in the Batcave. Dick and Jason both gave a small laugh.

“How is he doing?” Dick asked.

“Oh same as usual, sulking during the night, acting like a complete buffon during the day.” Jason laughed, Dick heard Bruce mutter through the phone, and Alfred brought the camera over to Bruce.

“Hey, Bruce how ya doing?” Dick asked innocently.

“How am I doing? Let’s see Richard, my sons hijacked the plane to go to Paris on a whim with no planning whatsoever, I got a call from Damian’s school that he was absent today. I'm also dealing with a very angry Italian ambassador, oh and with all the girls out on other missions I’m dealing with the entirety of Gotham and WE by myself for who knows how long. How do you think I feel?” The bags under Bruce’s eyes were more pronounced than usual as he berated his two older sons for a few more minutes, “now do you two have a reasonable explanation, or am I going to be feeding your asses to Harley Quinn for therapy sessions this week.”

“Damian has a girlfriend,” Dick said smoothly, Alfred and Bruce both paused, looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

“Please Dick if you’re gonna come up with an excuse at least make it a plausible one,” Bruce said while Alfred was attempting to compose himself in the background.

“I’m telling the truth, her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s in his class and apparently, they’ve been dating for the last few months.”

“I’m going to search her up and if you’re lying to me it’s three therapy sessions with Quinn.” Dick shivered remembering the last time that happened, He had been suspended over a shark tank until he admitted he needed to start putting himself first. Bruce typed a few things on the computer and let out a sharp whistle. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“See I told you,” Dick said smugly.

“That doesn’t change the fact that---” Bruce was cut off as they heard a scream come from Tim’s room.

“Sorry, Bruce gotta go check that out. Call you later.” Dick ended the video

following Jason to Tim’s room where they saw him sitting over his computer furiously banging on the keyboard.

“Woah Woah replacement if you keep that up then there won’t be any computer left to type with.”

“I don’t care! Someone cut the power and I was in the middle of checking Parisian crime records.

“Don’t freak out,” Dick said calmly, “I’ll go check the fuse box, you and Jason can go check the router. Ok?”

“Ok,” Tim said taking a breath. He put his computer aside and walked out of the room with Jason following him. Dick tried to call Damian to find out where the fuse box was, but for some reason couldn’t get a signal inside the apartment. He walked out onto the balcony waving his phone up wildly seeing if a bar would show up. He sighed as he brought his phone down. Nothing. As he turned to go back inside he felt a small pinch on his neck he moved to swat at it and he felt nothing. As he stepped forwards his eyelids began drooping, he stumbled and reached for the railing. He missed and before he slipped into unconsciousness he felt the bite of cold cement against his arms.

---------------------------------------

When Dick woke up the sun was streaming through the living room window. He felt a weight on his stomach and when he stretched his neck up he saw Jason was lying on him, with Tim lying on the top of the pile. He laid there a moment as the night caught up to him, he began formulating who would knock them out, and how he was going to get out of this dogpile when a sharp“Ahem” sounded from the doorway. Standing there was Damian in jeans and a shirt.

“Well, it looks like you guys had a blast last night,” Marinette said poking her head in. It was the first time Dick had seen her without pigtails, instead, she had her blue-black locks tied back in a messy bun and she was suspiciously wearing Damian’s sweatshirt.  

“You want to tell me why Father called me last night wanting to know all about my girlfriend and why I hadn’t told him about her yet.” Jason and Tim gave simultaneous groans of annoyance as Dick hopped up.

“Listen Damian I can explain,” He said stepping forward. He felt something hook his foot.  “What the--” he got out before red paint came crashing down on top of him. Jason and Tim, both awake now, shot up trying in vain to avoid the downpour only to stumble into more strings. Before anyone could blink glitter rained down from the ceiling sticking to the paint coating the boys. A camera flash later saw them giving the death glare to Damian as he and Marinette stood off to the side trying not to laugh.

“What. the. Hell.” Dick said as he wiped paint from his eyes.

“If you want to live Demonspawn you better hope that this paint comes out,” Jason said as he attempted to shake glitter from his hair.

“If Con ever finds that picture Jason isn’t gonna be the one you should be scared of,” Tim said dangerously low. Damian finally cracked and started laughing. Collectively the three batboys stopped and looked up in shock. They hadn’t heard Damian laugh before, sure they’ve heard the evil laugh and the Robin laugh but never his laugh, it was soft light, and infectious. Before long Marinette was laughing too, while Jason Tim and Dick were all smiling.  

“Ok you were right that was better than anything I could think up,” Damian said as he composed himself.

“Hey give some credit to Luka,” Marinette said, “He was the one who suggested glitter.”

Jason’s eyes widened as he realized that not only did Demon spawn pull a nonlethal prank, but Marinette was in on it. Not just Marinette but some kid named Luka too.

“Wait back up, you’re telling me you guys decided that you should knock us out, and then dump red paint and glitter on us?” Tim said blearily.

“Well, we couldn’t just come out and tell you,” Marinette responded.

“Well we could, but this is revenge for your little family trip,” Damian interjected.

“Tell us what? That you hate us with a passion? You’re an evil psychopath?”

“You know for a family of detectives you guys can be rather slow.” Marinette slammed a hand over her mouth realizing what she had said. “I’m sorry I didn’t me--”

“I love you so much right now,” Damian said gawking at her, Marinette blushed.

“Ok, will one of you two please talk to us rather than whatever,” Jason gestured vaguely to the two of them, “that is.”

“What color is the glitter?” Marinette said as she turned her attention from Damian. She sounded almost like a school teacher would when talking to children.

“Black…” The boys responded in unison.

“And what color is the paint?”

“Red.”

“So what’s red and covered in black spots.”

“Lady----- Oh for fucks sake,” Tim said slapping his hand on his forehead.

“There it is,” Marinette said triumphantly, a smile spreading across her lips. A few moments later Jason and Dick both gasped as the information finally sunk in.

“Why can’t anyone in this family be normal.” The second youngest Wayne lamented.

“Well, at least this means you can join my team and me on patrols. I bet that’ll make Paris a little more interesting.” Tim perked up.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. We can talk all that out later but you need to go get cleaned up before the paint stains the carpet.” Damian interrupted, he didn’t like the fact Marinette was talking about patrol with his brothers.

“I would like to remind you that this was your plan, Damian,” Dick said.

“It may be my plan but it’s someone else’s carpet now go.”

The three boys were shepherded to the bathroom while Damian and Marinette cleaned up the mess left in the living room. All three of them were rather impressed with the way the two of them had revealed Marinette’s identity, although it went unspoken how if anyone revealed it there would be serious consequences.

It took them over an hour to even begin making a dent in the glitter-paint combination that covered their bodies. Dick having been directly under the bucket had it the worst, with Jason coming in at a close second. Jason thought he had at least gotten out the stuff in his hair during his shower, only to look in the mirror and let out a quiet fuck. Dick gave him a questioning look, in response, Jason just pointed to his hair. Where his white streak was now stained a deep crimson. “This means war.”

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