#daikiyo

Perhaps it was because this season was so busy that Shimizu felt it important to slow down. Things begin to compound on one another so quickly at this time, but being able to take a step back and relax is something that would do them both well. In particular, it would be good for Sawamura. Even if he knew that slowing down is good, he didn’t ever seem to try it himself. 

Shimizu did not decide to attend university after graduating from high school, but Sawamura did. By her third year, she hadn’t had the faintest idea what job she wanted, and she thought it would be a waste trying to take entrance exams for a subject that she might not fit in. Sawamura, in comparison, had had his plans set in stone. After he graduated, he easily passed entrance exams and was accepted to a decent university in the prefecture. During the week, he went to his classes in the city and worked diligently. On the weekends, Shimizu came to visit, and most of the time stayed overnight. 

Before November, her boyfriend had the free time to take her out for dinner on Saturday night, and to sleep in with her on Sunday. Sometimes, they would watch movies in the afternoons, or go for walks around his apartment building. But in November, Sawamura chugged along at his desk all weekend. He only rested when she set food in front of him, or when he needed to break away for the bathroom or his bed. When the sun set and evening darkened out his windows, Sawamura would have to turn on his desk lamp. Over time, he would lean over his desk, closer and closer to it, with the more effort that he’d added to his review. And within three hours, he would usually be almost touching the lamp with his forehead. 

For Shimizu’s part, because she had no classes and no exams, she tended to busy herself with tasks around his apartment. She wasn’t about to stop visiting him because his exam season was starting and he spent much of his time studying. There were still ways that she could enjoy spending time with him without directly distracting him. Sawamura was quite neat already, so there was never much to clean, but she took care to make him snacks and meals when he needed them. Sometimes she walked alone outside, watching stray cats scamper across the street and crows peck around the grass. If she ever grew bored, she pulled a book from her overnight bag and cracked it open on the table in the middle of his room, perusing pages at a leisurely pace. 

Today, too, that’s how things panned out. Shimizu and Sawamura both sat at the table in the center of his room, though she took up much less space because she hadn’t opened all her textbooks and notebooks in front of her. Her legs were folded neatly beneath the tabletop, and the spine of her book balanced just on the edge of the table like a makeshift book-prop. With one hand, she held the book aloft and turned the pages. With the other hand, she snuck her fingers into a box of chocolate pocky sticks and drew them to her mouth at a steady rhythm. She would read three pages, then take a pocky stick. After another three pages, she reached for another. Then three more pages, and she took one again.

Across from her, Sawamura appeared relatively unchanged. Every ten pages or so, Shimizu would glance up and study him, but he seemed as focused as ever. He never changed his posture or seating arrangement. But when he concentrated, his lips tended to get tighter, and his eyes narrowed like he was taking in only the information on his textbook and nothing else about his surroundings. 

Shimizu lowered her eyes back to her book again, allowing him to stay focused on his studies. But eventually her fingers strayed to the pocky sticks again, and rather than slipping them between her own lips, she picked one from its box and raised it to Sawamura’s instead. His lips were pinched so tightly that she could not pierce them even with a thin chocolate-covered stick, so instead she expertly maneuvered the tip into the corner of his mouth where there was some give. She pushed it in softly, watching as his lips relaxed and he started to crunch away at it. 

He never looked up from his work.

This began a pattern, much like Shimizu had set into when she was feeding herself. She allowed Sawamura some time to read the textbook splayed open in front of him, but after a few minutes she picked up a stick of pocky and slipped it between his lips. It disappeared in a few seconds, bitten from tip-to-tip.

In high school, their classmates would always play a silly game with the pocky sticks to see who was cowardly and who wasn’t. Two people would bite the opposite ends of a stick and eat their way to the middle. The intention was to scare one with the idea of a kiss, and he or she would break away before ever getting that far. Really, it was a silly game. Nobody ever kissed. In fact, most people never even made it farther than two inches down the stick before caving and backing away. Shimizu had never played it before, and she assumed that Sawamura hadn’t either, though she wouldn’t know for certain. They were in different classes all three years, after all, so what he did with his classmates during home room and cleaning time was beyond her. 

It was a funny idea, though, and she had always wondered who created it, and why pocky was the preferred snack. It could have been Calbee potato sticks, just the same. 

She smiled to herself at the thought, lifting another pocky stick from the box and slipping it into her boyfriend’s mouth. In high school, he probably wouldn’t have won that game. She had dated Sawamura for years, but he was still as awkward as a middle schooler when it came to being forwardly affectionate. It was fine when he initiated, it seemed, but if Shimizu ever did it herself, he’d turn red and start to scratch his neck sheepishly. This honestly happened quite often, since Shimizu never gave a telling hint as to when she wanted to be romantic with him. She just went for it whenever she felt the urge, even if it was sudden and unexpected. 

But somehow, the fact that he was always surprised was charming. When Sawamura was caught off-guard, his face would change dramatically. His eyes grew wide, his eyebrows raised high into his forehead, and the skin of his cheeks seemed to tighten like he was clenching his jaw. It looked a bit funny, but Shimizu had always liked it. 

That didn’t mean that she attempted to surprise him on purpose. She never intended to do that. Most of the time she herself didn’t even realize what kind of an impression her actions would make. Shimizu assumed, at base value, that whatever she did would be matched by him. Even if she boldly grabbed his hand in public, to the dismay of elderly women walking nearby who still hadn’t come to accept young couples’ public affection, she thought it was fine. But Sawamura would sometimes get that surprised look in his face, and he’d stumble a bit over his words before he settled into her hand.

Funny, how even years of dating hadn’t changed the way he reacted to her.

Shimizu picked another stick of pocky in her hands. Her fingers had only felt a few left in the box, which made sense considering the speed with which they had been eating them. They would run out soon. She studied it carefully before she would feed it to Sawamura, curiously twisting it once in between her fingers.

Though it was more of a split-second decision, she carried it out as willfully as if she had planned it all along. Slowly, as always, she raised the pocky stick to her boyfriend’s lips and set it between them. As he had before, he began to nibble on the end. But before he could bite halfway down the stick, she snagged the end and broke it off from his mouth. 

And then, she replaced it with a kiss, planted silently over top.

This, Sawamura registered quickly. His gaze raised from his textbook towards her, wide with shock. His pencil was still held aloft over his notebook, frozen in the air and unmoving. Shimizu watched his lips part to speak, but he faltered and couldn’t find words at first.

Eventually, “Kiyoko?” was all he asked. It sounded as if he was confused, and wanted some sort of confirmation that she had, in fact, kissed him in place of feeding him a snack. He had probably been so deeply enveloped in his studies that the line between textbook and reality was extremely fuzzy. 

But of course he had felt it.

“Nothing,” Shimizu replied with a flat tone, blinking and shifting her eyes back to her book. By pretending that nothing significant had happened— and to her, a simple kiss was not very significant at all— she ended the topic there. Sawamura still had to continue studying, after all, and she knew him well enough to be certain that if she confirmed her kiss, he would ask for another. If she didn’t, then maybe he’d return to his books once more. 

Though she stared only at the characters on the pages of her book, Shimizu could sense beside her that Sawamura still had not yet moved. His pause was proof that she had surprised him, and that he still needed to process it. But feeding him no more hints, she never looked up to confirm this, and eventually she heard the fabric of his jacket shift when he bent his shoulders back over his book.

He pulls her in for a second to kiss her temple. “How‘bout a little something extra?” he suggests, and she doesn’t quite catch hismeaning.

“Another kiss?” she asks, and when he raises a browshe leans up to plant one on the corner of his mouth.

And he so easily returns it, brow furrowing inamusement. “I meant at the store,” he says, reaching up to tuck her bangsbehind her ear. “Want hot chocolate?”

The store is mostly empty, but it’s blissfully warmerin here than out there. He bends to grab up a basket, and while they make theirway through the aisles she picks out some candy and tosses it in. They don’thave much money between them, the rent this time around had been higher thanthey had anticipated. The budget has been tight, but today they think theydeserve this much luxury. Some nights they’re sitting at the kitchen tablepulling their hair out over expenses, and others they’re lying in bed hopingthat little cup of coffee they’d indulged in won’t come back and bite them.

He lets go of her hand and slides his arm around hershoulders to pull her into his chest. It’s as if he’s read her mind, and thecomforting kiss he places along her hairline eases a sigh from her moutheasily.

“I’ll get paid next Friday,” she mumbles into hisshoulder, and he takes a deep breath.

“Don’t stress yourself,” he murmurs, and lets go tolook at her. “We’ll be fine.”

.x.

She pours them both a cup of hot chocolate, and helifts the blanket up for her as she carefully sits down beside him. Theyarrange themselves comfortably and set the movie to play. The daylight streamsin through the blinds and everything is mostly gray. She takes a sip of herdrink and his fingers are threading through her hair.

She leans over to set the cup down on the ground, andthen turns carefully onto her back. His lips are red from the burn of the hotchocolate, and she smiles wrapping her arms around his neck. “Come down here,”she says. “I want another kiss.”

And he so happily obliges.

.x.

Knowing Shimizu for three years didn't change anything when he realized he really liked her. As slow as people go, Sawamura really took his time to understand how he felt. And for obvious reasons it really did make the parties involved sigh in disbelief and annoyance.

After all the teen was an honest, reliable and dense volleyball player. Sawamura was the type that took control of his life and goals, high school was a terrain where he did his absolute best and tried to help others if he could. He had a dream to accomplish; a responsibility to see Karasuno in full glory in the battle for championships. Sawamura in many cases shoved love out of the way because girls could wait; after all he knew himself enough to realize he was lousy in that field and he didn't want to rush into making a fool out of himself at any rate.

That's why he was at a lost when he discovered he smiled more often when Shimizu was involved in any shape or form. It started slow, when she made small talk in the hallways, or when she went to him discussing about games and training dates and various news related to the club. His body squirmed when he felt her getting closer because he could physically feel the atmosphere shift to whispers and eyes snapping to his spot.

The way her eyes lingered to his own and hands close but never touching him made him feel dizzy. He felt too stupid and ridged around her, but that didn't stop him from acting professional. At least for Sawamura that was enough for him, the last thing he wanted was to creep her out and notice how his heart pelted his chest a little faster than usual.

Besides the encounters in school and the club Sawamura never felt the need to seek her out. The first two years he was too professional for Suga’s liking and Shimizu; though Sawamura didn't know at the time. He was a gentleman to all, strict when needed and it pulled Shimizu to give unreceived signals since their second year. His polite manner made him relatively popular among many peers. He was never used to the confessions he received time to time. While it was a surprise to see classmates looking him like that, he couldn't help but feel awkward and strangely complimented. However, many times he would unconsciously picture the same scene but with his own voice calling to Shimizu.

It was easier for Suga to figure out his best friend was pinned to Shimizu, she was a cute, sweet and, thoughtful girl. And that was why it was hard to watch them pin over each other but still having the audacity to maintain a professional relationship, which frankly was ridiculous. They were all teenagers after all and old enough to at least be more frank about their mutual interests with each other. However, Suga was destined to suffer watch these dorks in love.

                                                        …

The remaining months rolled faster after their finals. The clock ticked down and the third years found themselves witnessing a countdown for their final days as high schoolers. After all their hard work Karasuno was finally what Sawamura wished to see. A strong team that brought many comrades and friendly enemies around; they were not clipped crows. It was a era for Karasuno and he was a part of that creation. It was hard letting go the hard volleyball practices as captain, but he was proud at who would take his place. It wasn't like he was too worried since he knew they were strong, Sawamura couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that that as far he got with them as team. But it was time for them to go their own ways.

So he watched and helped when he could with the team; he tried his best remembering the hallways and conversations he had. He watched how Shimizu always smiled at him as he looked out the window and how she would join them for lunch; with Suga and Azumane talking about college. It was weird to push the club activities aside after so many years of dedicating over it. But that was life and they were all going to different careers and lives.

“So then you’re leaving two weeks after graduation to move into your new apartment?”

Shimizu nods as she drinks her juice. Suga continues, “Wow that's not bad since you said it'll only be a few minutes away from your college.”

“My roommate by then should already be there; since she lives by that area.”

Azumane By then joins the conversation, “Are you talking about the third year manager from Fukurodani?”

Sawamura took that chance to sneak a glance at how Shimizu leaned back and softly answering. The sun was really warm and hitting rays at her shoulders. Days like this were numbered; Suga gave him a look and Sawamura pretend that he didn't notice.

He knew what Suga was trying to say and he meant well but, Sawamura wasn't really feeling like getting rejected, not with the days ending faster. He personally didn't want to make his last days with Shimizu awkward and making it dramatically obvious at how lousy and clumsy he was with love. For the record he liked liked her, he couldn't love her. He was too inexperienced to be in love.That was absurd, the closest thing he could describe about Shimizu was probably like like -- as in having a crush. Either way it proved that Sawamura was totally new with figuring out his feelings regarding Shimizu.

It was probably overdue. Sawamura felt like he just finished a whole week of intense training. His body ached, his heart hurt and his palms were cold and clammy. It took two weeks of school of Suga’s persistent nagging to get him where he was standing. It was lunch and he was outside Shimizu’s classroom. It shouldn't have been too difficult asking her one question, but there he was sweating bullets and his throat was dry. The door opened and other students passed by, but he was paralyzed.

“Hey Shimizu! Sawamura is here.”

Her figure came closer and he couldn't help but gulp. He felt his lips stretch to grin, “Do you have a moment?”

His voice was even, his body was a little stiff but it wasn't too noticeable, he hoped. She followed having slipped with his favorite smile on her face and gliding through the classroom. He started wondering why he listened to Suga when he knees were jelly at the thought of spilling his guts to her. As they walked together outside the school building and aimlessly walking around he couldn't help but get mesmerized by her laugh and how their hands brushed each other.

The lunch was too short for both them, but that peaceful time was enough for them at the same time. Even when Suga complained about the lack of confession and worth the finger pinches Sawamura received in the stomach after school.

                                                       …

Before he knew it graduation was tomorrow and Suga was really pinned to Sawamura’s side.

“Tomorrow is it, just tell her how you feel. Because hell I'm not finishing without you two getting together.”

Sawamura didn't bother looking at his best friend as he prepared for his late day. All he could think about was Shimizu and hoping to see a pleased look on her face saying she felt the same.

And when he blinked Sawamura was at Karasuno for the last time, saying goodbye to his adolescence. College was at the corner and it really made him stand up straighter. He thanked his teachers and waved at his acquaintances. Suga surprisingly was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't matter because he was in a mission.

Going outside he went near the gym and found Shimizu alone with her arms tucked in. His feet were loud enough for her to hear his entrance, she kept her back facing him.

“Three years passed by pretty fast.” His legs reached to her side by then, “I had a lot of fun.”

Shimizu titled her face up to look at him, “hm. It was.”

“So…” His face was starting to feel warmer. And thoughts were getting jumbled; which made him freeze when Shimizu spoke.

“I liked you since our second year.”

He was pretty sure he looked shocked, his hands practically lifted up from his sides and he pulled back a little giving her more room. His heart was pelting him and ringing crazy in his ears. It was comedic to see him out of character and become some shy awkward boy getting confessed to.

“I um...wow.” He fumbled some more trying to look straight at her in the eyes, letting her know that he heard everything clear and would give a proper reply.

With his body whacked out and his brain working on overdrive, he was sure he was smiling stupidly.

For as long as he took, (and he really took his damn time) Sawamura felt like an idiot for making Shimizu wait till their high school graduation to tell her straight out how he felt. And it turned out he had plenty of times of telling her how he felt.

Since their second year.

Wow was he could fathom, because it was just too serial knowing Shimizu Kiyoko liked him back! He couldn't help but grimace because Suga was so right, not that he would ever say that straight to his face. But also about the lots of potential dates they could have had; he scratched the back of his head and tilted his face while laughing in the end.

He really was too dense for not noticing and she had the largest amount of patience to wait for him. Before he could finish his thought he felt her slim hands grasping his uniform, pulling him down and finally shutting him down with her lips.