#da headcanons

regional customs might vary, do your own spin; everything here is inspired by the marriage customs of the ancient romans, victorian england, sudan and the punjabi customs. 

Weddings usually take place either at the groom’s family house or, in case of richer families that wish to show that they can afford that, a house newly acquired specifically for the newlyweds. A wedding consists of preparational ceremonies, the main wedding ceremony, and the celebratory feast. 

The bridesmaids and the bridegroomsmen should be unmarried younger sisters and brothers of the couple—the number of each must be equal, so if there are not enough siblings on one side, an unmarried younger cousin might be chosen. If there are no siblings or cousins to be chosen from, a pleasant-looking unmarried friend will do.

The engagement usually is settled by the heads of the two families that are meant to be joined through that union. The engagement period usually lasts up to a few months, usually as long as it is required for everything to be arranged; there is a popular tale about a cunning young enchantress who didn’t want to marry the man her father chosen for her, and so she would come up with various ways to prolong the engagement period for years and years until her betrothed suffered an accident and died.  

A few days before the wedding ceremony, a party is held at the bride-to-be house where her hands and feet are decorated with henna (some altus families infuse henna with magic, leading to effects like moving patterns, color-changing, shimmer etc.); the hands of the bridesmaids and other female relatives are too decorated with henna.

The ceremony starts in front of the door of the family home or the new home, with the chantry priest and the heads of the two families standing, waiting. It is customary for the young couple to fall to the paterfamilias feet and ask for the blessing; groom at bride’s guardian feet, bride at groom’s guardian feet. 

Afterwards, the vows are exchanged. The ceremony ends with the doors being opened, and with the groom either extending his hand to the bride and leading her through the main doorway or carrying her bridal style through the threshold. They lead the guests to the celebratory feast. 

The feast is started by the bride when she lights a lamp (with a torch or magic) which is offered to her by the groom.

The wedding night starts by the groom untying the bride’s girdle in silence in front of the guests.

This is my favorite topic of discussion

I'm not referring to dissociative identity disorder here. These are two sides of the same character, but both personalities are in conflict with each other, one always dominating the other

What we have (my opinion):

Bull: Is the main personality, his innate characteristics. I would also call it Ashkaari. His curiosity about the world, his sociability, his mischief/cunning, but most importantly, his desire to care for others and his strong sense of justice. These are the character traits that make him such a wonderful friend and loving partner

Hissrad: Is a personality shaped for survival in Qun, a consequence of the propaganda he was forced to live with from birth. Discipline, a cool mind, absolute devotion to Qun, the ability to be a weapon in the hands of others, suppressed emotions and desires. He is a soldier. A soldier for whom nothing is more important than Qun

And there's a third, unifying personality - The Iron Bull. It's a combination of these two personalities. It's a state of internal conflict: on the one hand, he still believes in Qun and fears he'll go mad without it. But on the other, he's lived far from his homeland for so many years and sincerely enjoys his "role" as a spy, though he denies it. He believes he's a weapon, cold and unfeeling, yet he sacrifices his eye for a strange Tevinter boy. He says Qun is good, but he knows if Qun spreads further, people will suffer (he doesn't want this)

instead of bolstering their numbers by buying slaves, teia cantorini and viago de riva simply recruit every orphan on the street. they are desperately searching in dumpsters for any child without an ID chip in their ear because they have big fucking raisin-brains and they know zevran will hear about it if they don't

I REFUSE to believe Emmrich sleeps on that bloodstained stone slab in his room so I have a better idea. We are in the Fade after all.

There is a bedroom attached to the library either hidden by a sliding bookshelf or wall panel. That only opens for the occupant(s) of the room of those they are comfortable with.

(prefacing for those who don't know, Atticus differs from a 'canon' Rook because he met Emmrich about 4 decades pre Veilguard and they got married in their 20s. Atticus is also a mourn watch professor).

1. They are a very sappy, traditionally romantic couple. Dinner + chocolates + roses? Why fix it if it’s not broken!

2. They LOVE PDA. When they’re not at work, they’re constantly kissing and hugging in public. When they are at work, expect arms around shoulders and barely contained gushing about each other’s intelligence to their students.

3. Atticus used to be insecure about his weight— he’s a big, hairy, chubby man who was led to believe that people with his body were not desirable as someone who grew up in a very strict and proper family. But, add a very gay (umbrella term, and this applies to every other usage of the word gay in this post as well) necromancer to the mix— Emmrich worships his body. He genuinely cannot function for the next hour if he sees him shirtless.

4. Emmrich, despite not knowing the word ‘autism’, is very accommodating toward Atticus. He draws him baths and makes him meals when he’s having burnout, lets him ramble about his interests, and reminds him not to neglect himself when he’s absorbed in a project. He knows Atticus is different and he thinks it’s beautiful.

5. Emmrich and Atticus regularly sleep with Emmrich sprawled on top of Atticus like a blanket. It helps Atticus regulate, and Emmrich finds it very comforting, so it’s their regular sleeping arrangement.

6. While I headcanon Emmrich in general to be a switch and vers, with Atticus he's 100% a bottom and a sub. As I said earlier, put a big, sweet bear like Atticus in front of him and he's got his legs spread in an instant.

7. Continuing in the realm of NSFT stuff-- I like to think that Emmrich is a lazy pillow prince who makes Atticus do all the work. Sure, he's a very hard worker outside of the bedroom, but with Atticus it's a whole other story.

8. They requested to not only be buried under the same headstone, but to be buried in the same coffin as well. That way they could sleep in each other’s arms forever.

9. Atticus loves when Emmrich plays with his hair. Sometimes he’ll lay his head in Emmrich's lap after a tough day and Emmrich will comb it out with his fingers or give him little braids.

10. Many of Emmrich's rings and bracelets were gifted to him when he was younger, after Atticus listened to him talking about how he'd buy so much jewelry if he was rich. While Emmrich was largely a self-made man, Atticus definitely spoiled him as often as he could.

11. Originally, Atticus and Emmrich were planning on lichdom together, but Atticus ended up sacrificing himself in place of Manfred during the Hezenkoss fight, and Emmrich forfeited his lichdom for him in a heartbeat. Atticus was going to go through with his lichdom rites, but he forfeited them right before the rites began because he couldn't imagine eternity without Emmrich.

12. Emmrich is vegetarian, but Atticus can't be since he already struggles with eating due to his autism and therefore wouldn't get enough nutrients if he gave up meat. Emmrich doesn't think of him as any lesser for it and is willing to cook whatever is needed for him to actually enjoy eating. He knows Atticus loves animals and would never try to tell him otherwise.

13. Atticus is a professor too, and him and Emmrich love introducing each other to their respective students. They're two of the Necropolis' most beloved professors and everyone knows how much they adore each other.

14. Adding on-- if they have a student who is really struggling, sometimes they'll take the student somewhere quiet together and help them work through whatever issues they're having. A lot of LGBT students especially feel really comfortable around them given that they're probably the only openly gay professors at the Necropolis and therefore will genuinely understand their struggles.

15. At their small private wedding at a small abbey on the outskirts of Nevarra, their first dance was to an Andrastian hymn that they could faintly hear being sung from the next room over. They like to dance together every year on their anniversary in remembrance of their first dance as husbands.

16. Due to Atticus' autism, his sensory issues are too bad for him to handle being around babies or young children for too long, which is why he mainly teaches older teenagers and young adults. It's also why him and Emmrich never end up adopting a child. He considers Manfred like a son instead! I'm still trying to decide how Emmrich felt about this. I think that sometime in their 30s or 40s, they butted heads about this a bit, but Emmrich relented after Atticus reminded him of all the times that being around younger children caused him to retreat and have a meltdown. Aside from the lichdom thing, I think it was the biggest thing Emmrich sacrificed for him since Emmrich truly did want children of his own. Atticus knew this and felt like he was taking away Emmrich's dreams, but Emmrich reminded Atticus that their children were a hypothetical whereas Atticus was a living, breathing being, and he would choose him over a hypothetical every time.

17. And, last but not least, they're close with Strife and Myrion. Sometimes they all go on gay old man double dates together.