What is the winds of George have I been taking is crazy dude trying to ask me questions

The unit’s main task for the first few years was to take down the underground vigilante group (as the public has no idea who these officers originally where) and Oh Boy does that lead to some hilarious hijinks.

GStarshine

to set it up, we just got back from the singing city (our campaign is in Zendikar, which is a magic the gathering plane) we got paid, were given the rundown of what we need to do next, given a thing that was sort of a waiver letting people know we were doing something important so that they’d give us things

so we get to the first shop, nothing much too exciting. we haggle down the prices of some things, buy some new gear and such, acquire a potion the shopkeeper didn’t know was worth like 3x more than he was selling it to us for and so on.

shop 2. they have a couple things, not much. but they do have like one thing. a spell scroll. a very P O W E R F U L scroll. a 55,000 gold piece scroll. under lock and key. the scroll is for meteor shower. a level 9 spell that is essentially obliterate entire army. we want this scroll, ya see. not enough money though. so our vampire sorcerer takes our rouge aside, out of the shop. he goes look, this scroll. we NEED this scroll. and our kor rouge is just like, is it worth anything?? our sorcerer is just like, yeah, like a lot. and the rouge is just like, how much is a lot? like, a thousand gold? sorcerer shakes his head, higher. 2,000? even higher. like, 2,000 and a half gold? no, like close to the amount that dragon we killed had, thousands of thousands. oooh..

so the vampire convinces the kor to steal it for him. now they had to come up with a plan. they talked over a few things here and there but couldn’t come up with something good enough. then they remembered the elf bard (my character) had purchased an invisibility potion at the last shop. they got my character in on the planning.

we decided to send some ruffians to have a look at what we wanted to steal, telling them that we wanted them to help us steal it, when really we were just setting them in place for the likely blame. there were two of them and we paid them each fifty gold and told them to meet us at a tavern in town the next night (the night after we planned to steal it) that way we could set things up a little but also not necessarily make it so they would absolutely be put in jail. anyways, they act suspicious, the day goes on, the half of our group not in on all the burglary were busy partying it up and getting wasted at another tavern.

so about 3 am rolls around, i give the rouge my potion, and him and the sorcerer head to the store. the sorcerer disguises himself to look like one of the ruffians they had sent into the store previously, and the rouge picks the front door lock with ease. they’re in. the sorcerer goes in, double checks the magics on and around the glass case the scroll is in (mostly making sure it’s not going to ensnare the rouge or anything) then sends the rouge in while standing just outside the shop door.

our rouge here has some slippers of spiderwalking (i believe is what they are called) and climbs across the ceiling until he is over the case. now, he decides he’s going to use the hilt of his sword and drop down onto the case to break into it. he gets his d20 ready to roll for strength. his character drops down on the glass, hilt hitting into the glass. a nat 20. the case breaks, the whole group is screaming and laughing and taking photos of our little mat with the die and our silly looking drawing of the store. the moment is incredible.

the rouge grabs the scroll, gets shocked by something. he runs out of the store, scroll in hand, alarms blaring, guards coming up the street.

the sorcerer puts the guards to sleep, and the two run to the inn where our group is staying. they tell the bard they got the scroll. also here’s the potion you spent pretty much all your money on here ya go.

mission accomplished. our dm was just sorta in shock but he was like, this is insane, wonderful but insane. that glass case was pretty much enchanted to be like steel, and the O N L Y way to have broken into it like the rouge did was to roll a 20. like holy fuck. not to mention the fact that the key was literally unguarded and just in a drawer over at the shop counter but good fucking grief.

it’s just incredible, and i thought i’d share it with y’all before i went to bed.