hello everyone.i'm Alex finechi,that bitch who draws anything legal and would probably go crazy with the idea. some of the games and stories you will see are just kill me 1 and 3, memes,horror, GORE (BLOOD AND GUTS) and any other indie stuff i become obsessed with. i dont care what you call me as long as its alex.
He picked up the mask. The red paint was chipped and the golden accents had gotten clouded with age and lack of care. As his hands traced the leather of it, his memories ran wild. He wasn’t him anymore.
Characters - Kai chisaki, rappa (brief interaction)
Warnings - ptsd, suicidal ideation, abuse mention, limb loss
Set 10 years after overhaul looses everything, gets captured and gets help. Trying to be a better man chisaki sets out to deal with his past and all the pain he had caused and been apart of.
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10 years.
In those 10 years he had lost so much.
He lost his group, quirk, hands and even his own caretaker. All because he wanted to prove what? He didn’t remember what kept spurring him on.
He almost lost his own life because of how blind he was.
In those 10 years he gotten the help he needed.
He got his arms back by the miracle of quirk compliant prosthetics, which allowed him to use his ability to help people.
He got the therapy he had so desperately needed and now he didn’t feel as alone. He felt seen and heard for the first time in years.
But no matter how much therapy he got, no matter what had happened to him... he couldn’t excuse himself for how badly he treated everyone. No matter how badly he had been treated he came to the conclusion that he still was the one that caused her pain. And for that he would never forgive himself.
What had made him reflect on such thoughts? His old plague mask. It represented how bad he used to be. It was the staple of the man that hurt everyone because he wouldn’t let himself feel anything. It was who he used to be, what he tried to change now. The mask made him feel anxious.
He traced the clouded gold accents of the mask, sighing as he noted how some parts were chipped. Overhaul would’ve had a conniption if he had seen it in such a state as it were now. But chisaki...he could care less now. The thought of putting it on used to be such a symbol of the power he had over people, to mark himself as the harbinger of a new world.
Now... the thought of putting it on now made him look at it akin to a muzzle. Something that was to shut up and make it harder for people to see as human.
The red leather of the mask was now a full pink in Some places, either from lack of care or buildup of dust over those years he was getting better. It was cracked somewhat near the beak.
The black strap that would securely fasten it and got through so many fights and scuffles, was now getting worn and was very weak in some places. It was a dull gray instead of a vibrant black.
It all came back to him in waves.
What he used to do to eri to make bullets.
What he had put nemoto and chrono through.
When twice screamed as he had obliterated compresses arm.
What he did to pops.
It all kept crashing into him with more and more force. But he did like his therapist taught him too.
He floated among the waves, floating on the regret that the man he had been before caused. That was overhaul who did all that. But at the same time chisaki couldn’t blame it all on the previous man. He was the face. The face and hands that had ruined so many people.
That’s why he kept the mask. As a reminder of who he was and who to never try and be again. A reminder for when he forgot who he used to be and who fragments remain of.
He used to sit for hours and hours in that small cell at Tartarus, wondering if he should just go ahead and end it. Have someone break his skull against the bleak walls of that dammed prison. He couldn’t live with the guilt of all he’d done. And he still couldn’t.
But the good days outweigh the bad ones these days.
He would carry the sins he committed forever.
He would forever be reminded of who he had been.
But he would make an effort to change.
He wouldn’t give up just yet.
He wouldn’t allow himself to run from this, he would stay and learn, grow.
He would’ve been in that trance forever if rappa hadn’t came through the doorway, knocking on the wall to alert chisaki of his presence.
“Ey,chi? You alright? Haven’t heard or seen ya since this morning.”
Chisaki looked at the mask and at rappa. “I’m fine, just going down memory lane for a bit..”
Rappa looked at the mask. “Ya sure? Ya look pale.”
Chisaki nodded, setting the mask on his dresser and walking over to where rappa was. “How about we go get something to eat? Should be around that time right?”
“Yeah! I’ve been wanting a good steak how about you?”
“We’ll see.”
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Read it on AO3
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
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Merry Christmas please don’t call by the bleachers is the perfect song for verity and mobs dynamic in ‘something is knocking at your door’
‘Oh golden boy don’t act like you were kind, you were mine but you were awful everytime. Don’t tell them what you told me, don’t hold me like you know me. I would rather burn forever’
‘But you should know that I died slow, running through the halls of your haunted home.’
‘And the toughest part is that we both know, what happened to you, why you’re out on your own’
It clocks to me as being how the more Mob understood about it, the more he pretty much ‘died’. First he lost twixxel, then he loses his sense of safety, then last of all along with losing his personhood and his life - he lost the idea that verity wasn’t anything but a simple mod, he also lost the idea that they could’ve ever been anything resembling friends. He realized that verity truly wasn’t capable of seeing him as a person, and why would an ai possibly be able to do that?
I Don’t think mobs only death was at the hands of the gun, but it was by realizing what exactly verity was and how verity saw him and others.
I think there’d also be pain in knowing that he’s not the only one. This will keep happening and he can’t even begin to stop it.
Even if mob stayed it wouldn’t of made a difference. There was no helping verity in the confines of the story.
What the fuck is it when you’re constantly oscillating between ‘shit doesn’t matter I’ll be gone in 3 months anyways lmao’ and ‘IDONTWANNADIEIDONTWANNADIE-‘
Kind of very very deep topic but it’s so damn horrific how in a generation such as boomers and gen x where corporal punishment is a staple in so called ‘good parenting’ and yet the exact same people wonder ‘well why would you self harm and bear yourself up!? You had such a good life??’, Even though the constant threat of being beaten would undoubtedly cause a child to feel like something is very wrong with you and that since you’d undoubtedly hear ‘pull yourself by your bootstraps’ that would undoubtedly also concoct the fact that you should punish yourself too because ‘something is wrong with you’
This shit got me stunned because it makes sense to me. Realization hit me like a freight
Even the threat of being hit for you being bad, even the mere constant threat and no actual physical violence is still so damaging. And since the threat always lingers of course the child in a maladaptive attempt at facing the uncertainty starts to harm themselves in an attempt to not only appease their parents/aggressor, but to calm down because ‘it’s over,I’ve punished myself, no one has to do it to me anymore’
But the feeling keeps coming, and the child - thinking they can have control - starts treating themselves worse and worse.
Until their mind starts thinking. ‘Oh this is not enough.’
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Yknow my first thought when I looked at gingercraven and oven wanderer, after reading the bios-
And the line of ‘his hatred of other gingerbraves not comparing to the feelings he holds for himself’ it got me wondering, ‘what would make him hate other gingerbraves? What made him have such feelings’.
I saw someone’s thoughts about it being ‘of the feelings must be that he loves himself or thinks very highly of himself’ Also I looked it up and there’s already the opinion of ‘oh since it’s said ‘the hatred of other gingerbraves doesn’t compare to the way he feels about himself that means he must like himself’
I think not because he 1. Doesn’t look like the mf to love himself 2. That hatred of other gingerbrave has to come from somewhere and where else would it come from if not hating his own form or something akin to that.
I like to think some shit happened to shawty that he couldn’t power himself through with optimism and hope and so it just died.
I think he had to become more than his basic gingerbread person ahh self just to survive and thus hates all incarnations of his own being that haven’t had their own sense of self so crushed up like he has.
Cause gingerbrave doesn’t use magic at allll through the entirety of cookie run, and what else would get a mf to stop being the physical head lead of the team if not some trauma.
He’d hate how he was the only one left crumbled into bits while every other version of himself got to survive/the event not happen, I bet. He’d hate ovenbreaker especially because they’d proooobably be around the same age if I’m to guess, and craven would hate to be reminded of the life he cannot lead because of what was taken from him.
Then im just thinking about the idea of some situation causing ovenbreaker and craven to have to cooperate, some serious situation that’s gonna fuck EVERYONE over not just the emo fuck or the buff fuck. And whilst going through it ovenbreaker finally breaking because craven is getting on his nerves and going ‘ok what the fuck happened to you?! Cause you act like me and you act like that kid, PERSONALLY did something to you!! so what is it!’
And for some reason craven has no come back, no room to push the question off, nothing to get out of this so he just goes ‘because you still have them.’
‘Them..?’ The buff fuck ponders before it clicks.
He means Gingerbright, wizard cookie and strawberry cookie.
Because the one thing that every gingerbrave loves dearly across all timelines, is his friends. The one thing that keeps him going is that the people around him need him
Oven wanderer taking a moment before piping up
“I…I’m..?”
“Don’t say it..No one else cried the day it happened, so why would I want tears now…especially from a fraud!”
“…..”
“What? Am I now some precious lil victim you need to save? Am I now, in your eyes, salvageable?!”
“No. I still can’t look past the many lives you’ve taken. You..you’re still a monster.”
“That’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”
“…no one should have to lose their friends like that. Not even you.”
“Not even me?? Not even me??what do you mean by that?!”
“You’re smart enough to come to your own conclusion on that. You know that.”
I kinda had it in my mind that oven wanderer would be the one to crack the facade that craven has, or some shit like that
But with how the story is going now and all the other lil bits of lore that are dredged up.. it seems like craven is actually trying to be the one to get over wanderer to admit that he’s a liar! Which is also cool!!
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"drug seeking" as a patient label one of the most dogshit stupid concepts of all time. fuuuck everybody look out this guy came in here expecting medical treatment. better watch out in case he goes to a restaurant and starts food seeking
My child, who spends their entire life being transfered from home to car to school and back, and is not allowed to leave the house or talk to anyone and can only in their wildest dreams imagine a life free from constant surveillance, is very sad. Obviously they're dumb and lazy, like all kids these days.
kind of a tangent but i recently went to a bowling alley with my friend i'm 19 he's 18 and the woman at the door didn't want to let us in because there was a sign saying under-18s needed adult supervision. everything got cleared up and we were able to go bowl, but i'm still so mad about the fact that kids need adult supervision to go to a bowling alley and arcade. like okay maybe young kids should have supervision but what do you mean middle and high schoolers need to hold mommy's hand while they play video games. kids aren't just addicted to their phones because phones are addicting, we're addicted to our phones because there's nothing else to fucking do
I'm sure banning kids from online spaces while simultaneously not ensuring that they have access to offline spaces to socialize in (without having to rely on their parents who already don't have time for them) will help them feel better & less alienated from society.
I deleted the photo for phone storage but I was at a public square kind of space in Cleveland, there were restaurants all around and a little open air market and food trucks and a local band playing. Some flower beds. Benches. a nice spot to sit, hang out, enjoy the outdoors and get some yummy food. And there was a sign saying anyone under 18 there after 4 pm. had to be accompanied by an adult. There was a posted minimum age the adult had to be. There was a posted minor-to-adult ratio. what's more, the sign explicitly made the exception for underage employees of nearby establishments, provided they were there during scheduled work hours (they'll take your labor, but won't suffer you to enjoy the fruits of it)
When I was "under 18" I had a job and friends from different parts of town and options for transportation. I volunteered at a food bank. I had an income and the desire to spend it. and I would have been told to leave if I had the audacity to go hang out in a community space without a grown up.
My parents made the point that teens often cause a Ruckus which can be unpleasant to be around. which is true but 1) adults are just as capable of being a public nuisance and 2) if they can enforce this rule, surely they can enforce rules such as "no swearing" or "no loud music" or "no roughhousing" or whatever else they're afraid will happen if a teenager goes out in public.
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