Critique of a Certain Cracked Article - The Bad
Oh boy.  So weâve seen the myths about mental illness that Cracked got right, and the ones that were partially correct but mostly wrong. Now weâve reached the ones that legitimately reduced the Shrink to incoherent screaming.
Lock and load, Shrinky-dinks. Iâm taking no prisoners.
[Gif: The Winter Soldier loads a grenade into an attachment on his assault rifle while murderstrutting.]
[Cracked image: The charming psychopath is everywhere // Pictures of Negan, Walter White, Dexter, and Loki // They wonât stay charming for long. So many TV and movie villains are portrayed as charming ladiesâ men. Even Walter Whiteâs sex life improves after he starts cooking meth. Thereâs Negan, The Joker, Dexter, Patrick Bateman, Billy Loomis. The truth is, antisocial personality disorder causes a laundry list of symptoms that make a person impossible to be in a relationship with. // source is from the mayo clinic]
...Why is Loki up there? I am confused.
Anyways, people with antisocial personality disorder are very good at manipulating people. They can be very fucking charming, and very fucking good at it.
And I hate the phrase âlaundry listâ.  Guess what?  You donât have to have ALL THOSE SYMPTOMS LISTED to get diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
You just need three. Â Letâs pull three from the list of criteria, shall we?
They lie, manipulate and con others for their own personal gain.
Theyâre impulsive and donât plan ahead.
They are consistently irresponsible, donât fulfill things expected of them, and / or canât hold down a steady job.
I mean, that certainly describes an asshole, but âa person impossible to be in a relationship withâ? Hardly.
[Cracked image - Adrian Monk suffers from OCD. // picture of Adrian Monk hiding behind his turtleneck // Actually, no, he really doesnât. Itâs easier to remember what Monk is not afraid of than what he is. He lists germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, elevators, public speaking, and airplanes, to name a few. The thing is, thatâs not obsessive-compulsive disorder. Those are phobic disorders, which are not related to OCD at all. Actual OCD involves a crippling dependence on repetition and rituals.// source is chicago tribune]
OKAY. Â First off. A fear of public speaking IS NOT A PHOBIA. It is a part of Social Anxiety Disorder (Performance Only).
Also, OCD does not fucking REQUIRE compulsions. YOU CAN HAVE ONLY OBSESSIONS AND STILL HAVE OCD. (See my demystifying post here!)
AND GUESS WHAT? Â ADRIAN MONK HAS COMPULSIONS.
Performing a ritual because of a fear (such as excessive cleaning / handwashing due to a fear of germs) is a COMPULSION.
Look at literally the first time you see Monk IN THE FUCKING OPENING CREDITS OF THE SHOW.
[Gif - Adrian Monk is walking down a street, and touches a parking meter without looking at it.]
Youâd think, because heâs so germophobic, that he would avoid touching those things. NOPE. He has a compulsion to TOUCH ALL THE POLES that he passes when heâs walking.
Sure, he has phobias. Â BUT HE HAS OCD TOO.
One last note.Â
Those are phobic disorders, which are not related to OCD at all.
Hmm. Yes, thatâs correct. Phobias are anxiety disorders, and OCD has its own category. Iâm not sure why this is sticking out to me so much. But Iâm sure itâll be important later.
[Cracked picture - In Fight Club, the narrator has a split personality. // image of the narrator and Tyler Durden // Thatâs not how multiple personalities work. Those with disassociative identity disorder donât just wake up and realize theyâve been living as another person. They donât always know about the other personalities, and donât black out and live as another person. Amnesia and fugue states do happen, but what you see in movies is writers combining them to suit their narrative.// Source is from mayo clinic.]
[Gif of Hades nearly being literally consumed with fiery rage, but calming himself down saying âOkay, fine, fine. Iâm cool. Iâm fine.]
Itâs âdissociativeâ, not âdisassociativeâ. Weâve had this talk in the last part, Cracked. Do a single goddamn google search so you know how to spell the goddamn names of things.
This part of the takedown comes courtesy of Maxx, one of @dinosaursindisarrayâs alters:
DID isn't personalities, multiple or split or anything. Thatâs not just outdated terminology, it's also an incorrect description, because the alters aren't personalities at all, they're functionally other people.
âThose with DID don't just wake up and realize they've been living as another person.â
k, well, sometimes, they do.
Like, the person might not realize it as it goes on, but then something triggers an 'aha' moment (for some people) that make the symptoms more overt and noticeable, either to the person experiencing them or other people.
There could be a trigger that suddenly floods the person with enough memories to realize what's going on - memories of trauma, or bleedthrough from other alters, memories of that alter being out, etc, and then the person has enough to do research and be like 'something is /wrong/'
[For us], it was like, one day after a lot of stressful shit built up over a couple of weeks, I came out instead of Month and because I was tired and cranky. Her friends noticed and asked about it, I told the truth, and after she came back, her friends were like 'so this thing happened, what the fuck' and Month's blackouts and dissociation started making more sense and she was able to contact a professional to be like 'what the fuck is going on'.
The initial realization did happen sort of at once, which isn't entirely uncommon, especially with psych knowledge more readily available to people. (that can lead to people mistaking shit and thinking they have DID when they don't, cause misinfo, but it's still easier for people who do have it to figure out what the fuck is up and seek help than it was before).
âThey always know about the other personalities"
The entire point of DID and OSDD is to keep shit hidden. Keep trauma memories hidden from the everyday life of the kid so they can function and not fucking die. Keep symptoms away from others around the kid so that they aren't abused worse. So this shit is supposed to be kept separate, and if you always know about what's going on, then itâs not happening.
"and don't black out and live as another person"
Yeah. Some people do. Like, full memory blackouts while another alter is out might not happen all the time or with every alter, but it can totally happen with DID. Not OSDD as much, I think, but still.
There are certain alters that Month has NO memory overlap from. Others that she only gets one or two things, others she remembers most of it like watching a movie, others that she remembers it like she was there but really out of it, etc. It's not necessary for every alter every time to be DID, but if there's any amnesia and blackouts between alters (and with trauma memories) then it's DID criteria.
"Amnesia and fugue states do happen"
Yeah, amnesia is that blackout thing you just said didn't happen. Might not be a full blackout but like, amnesia. not remembering. sometimes that means blackouts.
And fugue states are dissociative, but that's a separate thing from DID. Can it happen to someone with DID? Yeah. Does someone have to have DID for it to happen? Nah.
Writers do combine and add shit and dramatize the fuck out of the wrong things (see: m. night) to suit their needs rather than maintaining fact, but yeah. everything else is p much wrong
Thanks again to Maxx from @dinosaursindisarray for taking over for that one. That gave me a nice little respite! Now letâs take a look at the last one, surely it canât be THAT bad...
[Cracked image - In Black Swan, Nina suffers from a host of conditions. // image of Nina // Real people donât have them all at once. The film gave Nina the ballerina a cocktail of disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and obsessive compulsive disorder, then had her descend into psychosis. The problem is that theyâre incompatible conditions. People with psychosis lose touch with reality. Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia are too in touch with reality. // source is abc news]
[Gif of the only thing that can adequately convey my rage: Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear weapon ever created, exploding and forming a gigantic mushroom cloud]
Okay okay okAY OKAY OKAY.
The only way I can get through this is to go from minor things to major ones.Â
You are right about one single thing here, Cracked. You canât be diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia at the same time. Congratulations. If someone has symptoms of both disorders, itâs either Anorexia with the Binge Eating / Purging subtype, or OSFED (other specified feeding/eating disorder, formally known as EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified).
Okay. Next up. Unless youâre counting when Nina stabs herself with the glass shard at the very end of the movie, Nina never cuts herself. She scratches herself. But Iâll give you the smallest amount of the smoking ashes left of my benefit of the doubt and say you meant âself-mutilationâ here, not cutting.
Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia
OCD AND ANOREXIA ARE NOT ANXIETY DISORDERS.
Besides, you just fucking said with the Monk one that phobias are completely unrelated to OCD!! PHOBIAS ARE AN ANXIETY DISORDER!!! AT THE VERY LEAST KEEP YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT LIES CONSISTENT!!!!!!!
On that note, where the fuck did you get OCD from in the first place??? Thereâs only two things I can think of that even vaguely qualify.Â
Ninaâs compulsive scratching. But guess what???  THATâS NOT OCD. THATâS EXCORIATION (AKA SKIN PICKING) DISORDER.
Ninaâs compulsive exercising. HELLO WHY YES THIS IS A SYMPTOM OF ANOREXIA.
People with psychosis lose touch with reality. Those with anxiety disorders like OCD and anorexia are too in touch with reality.
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Sorry about that. I repeatedly smashed my head into the keyboard.
But oh my fucking god.
THE WHOLE GODDAMN PROBLEM WITH OCD AND ANOREXIA IS THAT THEYâRE NOT CONNECTED TO REALITY.
One of the fucking specifiers for OCD is WITH ABSENT INSIGHT OR DELUSIONAL BELIEFS, which means the person in question fully believes that their illogical obsessions are true, you fuckwads!
[[Shrinkâs edit - a âspecifierâ is a possible subcategory of a mental illness. The DSM-5 also two other possible specifiers for OCD: âWith good to fair insightâ, meaning the individual recognizes that their disordered beliefs are definitely or probably not true; and âWith poor insightâ, where the individual thinks their disordered beliefs are probably true. It is a grading of severity, not a requirement.]]
Letâs look at a some fucking case studies here. Go ahead. Read them. Iâll wait.
Tell me, Cracked. Do these sound like people who are MORE IN TOUCH with reality?! Will a person really be transported into a mirror dimension if they turn on a light switch??? If they touch something, will their âpowerâ be stolen unless they touch it again multiple times??
Also, is someone with severe anorexia who still thinks they arenât thin enough even as theyâre FUCKING STARVING THEMSELVES TO ACTUAL, LITERAL DEATHÂ âtoo in touch with reality,â Cracked???
[[Another edit: most people with OCD and anorexia are not at this extreme. But it is far more accurate to say that these disorders involve losing some touch with reality than saying that they are âtoo in touchâ with reality. Seriously though, what the fuck does âtoo in touchâ with reality even mean???]]
Oh, and itâs not like there have been studies that donât just say that eating disorders and psychosis can co-occur, but that they might be FUCKING LINKED TO EACH OTHER!!!
And now, my esteemed Shrinky-dinks, we come to the most horrendous part of this absolutely atrocious dumpster fire of an article.Â
Real people donât have them all at once.
Real people donât have them all at once.
Real people donât have them all at once.
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?!?!?!?!?Â
Guess what, fuckfaces? Â
COMORBIDITY IS EXTREMELY COMMON. Â
Letâs look at this one study of almost 2,500 women with severe eating disorders. Guess what they fucking found?
97% had more than one fucking mental illness.
Ninety fucking seven percent.
[Image:Â âI made a chart since Cracked writers apparently canât fucking read.â // a pie chart with a very small portion labeled Only ED, and the overwhelming majority labeled More than one mental disorder.]
Schizophrenia and eating disorders may not be a super common combination, BUT IT FUCKING EXISTS. Â
PEOPLE CAN FUCKING HAVE MORE THAN ONE MENTAL ILLNESS!!Â
BUT I GUESS IT DOESNâT MATTER TO YOU SINCE THEYâRE SO CRAZY THEYâRE NOT REAL PEOPLE, YOU ABLEIST FUCKING SACKS OF FUCKING SHIT.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH
[Gif - The Hulk fucking annihilating Loki by repeatedly smashing him into the ground, which is what I wish I could be doing to the writers.]
Concluding Thoughts
If I seem calmer at this point, itâs because I wrote it before the rest of this article. I have no doubt future Shrink will still be screaming into the void long after the queue finally gets to this post.
Letâs take a look at how Cracked introduced this article.
It's a losing fight, going up against the myths pop culture perpetuates. But, dammit, someone has to do it.
That someone is obviously not you. Your writers are willfully ignorant and unable to do even a simple google search of the names of the things theyâre writing about to make sure they got the spelling right.Â
You have failed to do the fucking most basic research possible.Â
A monkey in a library could do a better job than you, as thereâs an actual chance that in randomly throwing pieces of its own shit, a book might be knocked off a shelf and the monkey might fucking glance in its direction.
Because left unchecked, people go around spewing every dumb thing they learn from clickbait articles movies and shows that are really just using mental illnesses to advance a plot and make a buck from pageviews, instead of teach us anything useful.
You made a few typos. I fixed them for you.
So, dig in, because it's time drop a knowledge bomb on your ass.
How fucking dare you.Â
You are not âdropping a knowledge bombâ on us. This article is nothing more than a fucking whoopie cushion. We sit down, all excited to see myths about mental illness being exploded, but are instead given a bunch of hot air that sounds like peopleâs ass cheeks flapping together.
Fuck you, @cracked.
I hope your pageviews tank. I hope you have to take on so many advertisers that your readers canât even see your content anymore. I hope no one ever submits to your âcontestsâ again, forcing you to have a staff member make up all the entries for you. I hope your heads get so stuck up your own asses that you donât even notice that your website has been spreading malware to your readers like the cancerous bullshit your content truly is.
Oh. Wait.Â
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