i bet we'd have really good bed chem | deanvrse

local twunks fuck, break bed.

we could build a house (buy some flowers, have some kids) | whocaresdiaz

Eddie accidentally stumbles across Buck's save in The Sims and makes all kinds of discoveries.

Evanwhere at the 118 | EiraLloya

Tommy shows up at the 118 looking for Evan. Turns out, there’s quite a few Evans working at the 118.

Mama I'm In Love (With a Criminal) | diazaster287

5 Times Eddie does something illegal to make Buck smile, and one time Buck joins him in an illegal activity

Hen Wilson's Four Part Guide To Making Your Stupid Friends Date | songbvrd

When Buck and Eddie aren't speaking, Hen decides to take matters into her own hands.

lights will guide you. | dylaesthetics

after breaking up with Tommy, Buck goes on a deep-dive on sexuality. He needs to tell someone about all he learns, of course, and Eddie seems like the best option.

mine for the loving | throughthelookinglass, @maydaydiaz

The three times Eddie gets called daddy since he's grown a mustache + the one time Buck lets it slip.

Finding His Familiar | tizniz, @tizniz

The 118 are shapeshifters. That's why they're so close. And it's about time Buck figures out what his familiar is.

The Elephant in the Room Never Forgets | exvichan

Secrets are spilled and truths brought to light when the 118 and their partners go on a camping trip.

rouge my neck | notathingtoseehere

Eddie is definitely not jealous at all, and has a completely normal reaction to strangers talking to Buck.

...Dear lord, I have a lot of these.

So, most of these have BDSM-style dynamics, but I'll call out the specific ones that I know have "diegetic BDSM" (aka BDSM in which the characters actively KNOW they're doing BDSM, rather than just...hatefucking in ways that include checking in on each other to some degree). Also, you can assume that all of these are gonna be either Rated E, or Rated M but in the way that's very, uh, "rated-E-flavored". xD

Anyway, *rubs hands together* Let's get into it!!

RadioApple

Calculus (or the study of instantaneous rates of change and the summation of infinitely small factors to make a whole) by Delta_Pavonis (oneshot, 11k words, CW: blood/painful-but-consensual sex) is a delightful continuation of that one comic that went around Tumblr, in which Vox is visiting the hotel Alastor is like "Kiss me" and Lucifer's like "why the fuck would I do that" and Alastor's like "because it would be so fucking funny". This one takes that extended Fake Relationship plotline in a Dom-Alastor direction, and it's hilarious and hot!

Follow You Home by Delta_Pavonis (2/3 chapters complete, 40k words) also features a dominant Alastor, but it's a story that starts with Alastor having summoned Lucifer while he was still a human, and continues into his time in Hell. It spans decades upon decades, and the backstory it lends to their interactions is SO tasty.

glory be to the god that fucks by captivatedintrovert for umiekii (oneshot, 7.5k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is a particularly blasphemous fic in which Lucifer is the Dom, and it is *exquisite* - my goodness, this author has a way with words, it's a brilliant combination of "seriously do NOT read this in public" and "a fascinating and emotive story" (though you might not expect the latter at first).

Mutual Satisfaction by romanaxe (series, 61k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is a series I've yammered about before; it's a lovely story of Alastor and Lucifer working out a BDSM relationship in which Lucifer is a gentle, caring Dom!

Go For Broken by MothballMilkshake, PitFTW (oneshot, 16k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is a fantastic Dom-Lucifer oneshot, featuring some semi-public teasing!

good morning, my deer by captivatedintrovert for Rosypie3 (oneshot, 7k words) is some Dom-Lucifer consensual somno fun! <3

Drink Menu by BrimstoneCoffee (series, 236k words and counting) is one of my FAVORITE series, my goodness I love it - it features a LOT of discussion about What They Each Want Out Of This that don't *specifically* speak in BDSM-language, but if you like diegetic BDSM for the real "what we each want" discussions and the careful exploration and the storylines of "what happens when we DON'T communicate properly", this is also gonna be a series for you!

Here's the Stitch by eternalscout for edub91 (completed, 22k words) has a hilarious premise involving someone having a pair of Lucifer and Alastor "poppets" (what some refer to as "voodoo dolls", though the fic is careful to refer to them appropriately) that they're using to enact romantic scenes, and Lucifer and Alastor have been dealing with this enough times that they're past awkwardness, they want ANSWERS (and to kiss each other). Dom-Lucifer in this one.

A Gentlemen's Accord, If You Will by walkingcatfish (series, 48k words and counting, CW: copious amounts of gore) is one I've talked about before, in which Lucifer and Alastor form a mutual, gore-filled situationship of sorts! Alastor is usually the one in the Dom role here.

Merlot Ego by titanic_trash (oneshot, 4.2k words, CW: piss) is just a damn well-done humiliation-kink oneshot, Alastor's in the Dom role in this one!

Dominance by NarrativeNonsense (series, 16k words) is the well-named oneshot-and-follow-up in which Lucifer accidentally inspires an Awakening in Alastor and they fuck about it, a lot, and then have to deal with the awkwardness of The Aftermath. xD

How to Bag a Deer in 7 Days by TheValravn (ongoing series, 85k words and counting, DIEGETIC BDSM, CW: the most viscerally distressing rape scene holy shit, but NOTABLY that scene does NOT take place between Alastor and Lucifer) is a WILD freaking ride of a story! Slowly but steadily ongoing, it involves sex contracts and layers upon layers of fuck-uppery.

Stuck on You by Rosypie3 (oneshot, 4.6k words): Oh, nooooooo, Alastor is stuck in a wall, whatever shall Lucifer dooooooo.......notably, Lucifer does not realize this is actually Alastor, and thinks someone has left a very high-quality sex toy out. There are impressive levels of Lulu-Delulu happening here. It's what it says on the tin; enjoy. xD

What the Hart Wants by yersifanel (series, 64k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) features a Dom-Lucifer, and he and Alastor sort out a BDSM partnership together, it's lovely!

Tales of the Hazbin Fuck Closet by MixkaRules18, PitFTW (completed, 46k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is about a specific closet in which everyone in the hotel (except for an exasperated Niffty who is sick and tired of everyone else's shit) goes to fuck their respective partners, and it follows Lucifer and Alastor's adventures there!

Rendezvous by romanaxe (series, 17k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is one I've definitely talked about before, plenty of guided masturbation here!

X is for Xeroxing by titanic_trash (oneshot, 8k words, DIEGETIC BDSM): Lucifer clones ahoy!! Sooooo many Lucifer clones. xD

The Five Senses of You by MixkaRules18 (series, 146k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is one I've mentioned before, the Piercing AU, Alastor is the Dom in in this one.

To Be the Perfect Angel, Some Sin Must Be Done by eternalscout (series, 99k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is one of those series that kinda has Everything in it, there's dance marathons, there's crack, there's a Dom-Lucifer BDSM situationship, there's Alastor dressed as a sk8r boi, what more could you need of a series?

The Devil You Know by Kasidra (completed, 101k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) has a full-on plot involving Lucifer waking up without his powers, and Alastor protecting him while they work on getting them back. They play with some fun CNC in this one, with Dom Al as their default.

Strange Appetites by Gotllphi (ongoing, 116k words, CW: gore and consensual torture, DIEGETIC BDSM) is THE fic I can never shut up about on these posts. xD See more here!

Wicked Game by TrashDemonx (ongoing series, 185k words) is the Dominant-Alastor fic of all Dominant-Alastor fics, Trash has fit SO many kinks into this series and it is truly impressive! Definitely a "don't read this in public". xD

More Than Talking by CursedCatJoules (it ME!, completed, 12.8k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is the sequel to "The Wing Talk", though it stands decently well on its own as a smut. One Alastor, many Lucifers, many kinks and unorthodox grammatical tenses crammed in there.

Unaffected by CursedCatJoules for romanaxe (it ME!, oneshot, 4k words) involves Lucifer and Alastor kinda gay-chickening their way into a Guided Masturbation scenario.

Sugar Coated by cosmicfizz (Completed, longfic, DIEGETIC BDSM) is a human AU in which Lucifer becomes Alastor's Dom - fantastic story, I'm so glad my friend reminded me of it! :D I usually don't get snagged by human AUs easily, but I'd dipped my toes in and accidentally got sucked straight into the currents of the plot.

Angel Dust/Lucifer

Free Wills by theautomaton (3 chapters written, last updated in 2024, 7k words) is an as-yet-incomplete fic that has rewired my brain chemistry and indirectly inspired two separate fanfictions of mine (as well as another fanfiction of a friend of mine). HIGHLY recommend for anyone who enjoys pondering ~the Implications~ of fanfics, because this is INCREDIBLE. Lucifer and Angel each have their time in a Dom-type role here, but for the most part Angel is the one in the "driver's seat" during the actual sex.

How to Bag an Angel: Take That, Depression! by Princeliest (oneshot, 7.8k words) is the AppleDust fic I recommend to anyone interested in trying out the pairing for the first time! Featuring Angel being the gentlest Dom for a depressed-dad Lucifer. <3

Charlie/Vaggi/Alastor

No Bond Stronger by FurbanLegend, henchy5824 (completed, 30k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is a delightful story in which Charlie decides that the best bonding activity that would make Vaggi and Alastor get along would be platonic BDSM! And they just kinda...roll with it, and get VERY into it. :P

For Want of a Delicacy by CursedCatJoules (it ME!, ongoing, 30k words and counting, CW: menstruation, DIEGETIC BDSM) is my Unexpectedly-Emotional Menstruation Fic that accidentally became a study in sexuality and BDSM.

Rosie/Alastor/Charlie

Rosie knows best by Godlizza for shiningnight (oneshot, 11k words) features a Domme Rosie encouraging Charlie to explore her own Domme side, and this fic knocked my socks off when I first read it! I'd only ever read Godlizza's T-rated work before, I was NOT prepared for how steamy this one got. xD

Alastor/Alastor

You, Me, and the Shadow Makes Three by titanic_trash for BrimstoneCoffee (oneshot, 8k words) involves Human-Alastor summoning Demon-Alastor by mistake (he'd been expecting Some Random Demon, not *himself*), and Demon-Alastor has a proposition to make, for Reasons. I love the way this story writes Alastor's banter with himself, and the storyline makes sense and is executed Really Damn Well!

Charlie/Vaggi

The Princess's Public Service by All_Our_Troubles (Ongoing but each chapter feels self-contained as its own story, 30k words, DIEGETIC BDSM) is one I've talked about here before, in which Charlie has a Free Use kink and Vaggie is happy to help make those dreams come true in the most Safe, Sane, Consensual way as is possible for them!

I don't even know how to classify this one ship-wise...Angel/Vox? Kinda?

Summary: Linnoril and Gledhril tell you that you are the only one in Amon Ereb whom Maglor allows to speak to him casually.

Warnings: some silliness, and bets

________________________________________________

*In the Healer's wing, you, Gledhril, and Linnoril are sorting out the stock while the twins are doing some drawing on the next table*

Gledhril: You know, (Name), you're the only one in Amon Ereb who can speak to Lord Maglor casually in public. 

You: *glance at her, confused* What do you mean? 

Linnoril: What she means is that you are the only person he allows to talk without the need to use titles or formal speech in public. 

You: No way. 

Gledhril: Yes way. 

You: I only speak casually to him in private. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever spoken to him that way in front of his court.

Linnoril: I bet he would get startled if you started speaking formally to him all of a sudden. He's used to you talking casually to him.  

You: Nah. I’m pretty sure if I spoke formally, he wouldn’t bat an eye. 

Gledhril: You want to bet on that? *hands you a list* How about you take this list and go tell him that we need restocking items that we only get from our trading partners?

You: *grabs the list* Alright, bet. I’m gonna go to his court and be all formal today. 

You: If he shows no reaction, I get to have the remaining ginger herbs. 

Gledhril: Very well. If we win, you’ll be on garden duty for the rest of the week. 

You: *gets up* Deal. Get ready to lose your gingers. Watch the twins for me.  

*One hour later* 

You: *come back to the Healer’s Wing with a bewildered expression* 

Gledhril: Well, how did it go? 

You: I… guess you were right. 

Linnoril: What happened?

You: Well, I went to his court. I spoke formally and addressed the things you told me to address with him. At first, nothing changed, but after the court, he pulled me to the side and asked if he had done something to upset me. 

You: Just because I spoke formally. 

Reading fics where Clark uses his super hearing to hear the readers heart beat is cute and all. Until you realize he would also hear your stomach issues and other things that aren’t so cute. I feel this would be a funny crack fic. Like imagine a fic where Clark is trying to hear your heartbeat, because he knows you have a crush or something. But instead he just hears your stomach issues.

Warnings‼️: Nothing really, besides some stomach problems, and improper grammar🥀🥀🥀. Also this is a crack rabble that wasn’t proofread.

Just imagine my crack vision. Clark often listens to your heartbeat for whatever reason. However it’s a well known fact about that you have stomach issues. Because sometimes your stomach can be really loud (if you know, you know.) and your often in the bathroom.

That doesn’t matter though, you’re still able to get work done somehow. (Maybe you take your phone or computer and do your journaling on the toilet. I don’t know I’m making this up as I type this. But anyway it doesn’t matter because you’re able to get your work done. So no one cares.)

So he often hears you having stomach issues and such. But hey don’t be embarrassed! He doesn’t mind it. He actually uses to his advantage. By sliding you over some medicine for your stomach.😁😁😁

(He thought he was being helpful and stuff. And didn’t realize he was embarrassing you even more; until someone told him that it was embarrassing. But in his defense he was though it as when Pa would make sure Ma took her medications. God, I live for awkward, nervous Clark.)

So anyway it’s a normal work day at the office and Clark is mentally rehearsing a silly, little joke, he thinks is funny. (It’s not, no one laughs at it. Except for you, because of your crush.) And as he’s doing this he’s also trying to hear your foot steps, so that he’s prepare for you.

However, instead of hearing footsteps he hears your stomach rumbling. Ok, no problem you probably woke up late and missed breakfast. (You didn’t 🥀🥀🥀. You never missed eating a meal or snack. He learned this the hard way by waiting for an opportunity that never came.)

Anyway, not thinking much about it he goes back mentally rehearsing his joke. While also thinking that he can finally ask you out for coffee or something. (Oh how wrong he is ☹️, I don’t think he’s ever going to get that cute, coffee date.)

Once you’ve arrived at your seat, that’s nexts to Clark’s. He tells you his joke (Which you of course laugh at. You’re so down bad for him.💕💞💕💕) and then asks if you want to grab a coffee at a nearby cafe soon. Sadly you decline because you don’t miss on your meals.

Obviously, this leaves Clark a bit confused, because he thought you would be starving. But he doesn’t press on, thinking maybe you’re just being shy. (And how would he explain that he thought you would be hungry. Without accidentally insulting you, or revealing the super hearing.)

Eventually time passes and Clark literally just hears your stomach, nothing else. He tried to hear your heart beat but that failed. Because your stomach was just too loud, even normal people could hear it at some point. (Probably the most realist thing I’ve typed. Also don’t be embarrassed, everyone’s used to your stomach problems. And they don’t care because you’re a good worker/journalist.)

And that’s all I could come up with. Please tell me you guys see the crack vision. I just know this would be such a funny crack fic. If someone writes something like this, please tag me.

How I feel after writing this on the toilet after reading a cute super hearing fic.

Clark after failing to hear our heart beat and instead hearing our stomach problems.

Also this was inspired by these lovely fics, that you should read.

https://www.tumblr.com/midniqhtt/789878878011293696/clark-kent-x-reader-who-is-very-good-at-hiding https://www.tumblr.com/rotapathetic/789466166638821376/%E0%AB%AE-no-one-laughs-at-clarks-jokes-but-you-%E1%83%90-reader https://www.tumblr.com/vitoriadior/790193423822045184/creep-stalker-secret-admider

Most of these aren't very long, but here are the few I know of!

Who's on Top? by Katie_Madison

Everyone in the Ninja World decides to put aside their differences, come together, and finally get a consensus about who tops and who bottoms in the multi-faceted Sasuke-X-Naruto relationship. Arguments are had, and battles are fought; will they be able to ever see eye-to-eye, and sort out this very important issue? (Too bad there was no point in asking Naruto and Sasuke about it; they hadn't even realized they were dating yet.)

What Kurama Learned from Naruto's Haircut by Katie_Madison

Naruto gets a serious new haircut to match his serious new role as Hokage, and everyone has an opinion. Well, everyone has just ONE opinion: the haircut is objectively awful. Except for Sasuke... He seems to be having... An interesting reaction to Naruto's new look to say the least. ... And that makes Kurama suspicious.

Killing It by dawnstruck

A year after Jiraiya's death, a new Icha Icha volume gets published. Self-declared Number One Fan, Hatake Kakashi, grows suspicious, but keeps buying them anyway.

Doggone It by GremlinSR

Shikamaru gets too close to Naruto while he's performing an experimental jutsu and ends up being turned into a corgi. He decides that the best strategy is to nap and enjoy the pampered dog life until he can get the transformation reversed. A dog’s eye view of the village reveals some disturbing truths, however, that he can’t ignore.

The Subtle Art of Uchiha Seduction by Kantayra