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I finally fixed it

Twas a fucking compiler command gone bad

My code was good

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A peasant, knight and king walk into a software design tutorial, and are here to teach you the chain-of-responsibility pattern. Learn how to create a chain of handlers which can handle different request types.

This tutorial shows you how to code the chain-of-responsibility pattern in the Visual Studio development environment, using a console application and the C++ programming language.

The chain-of-responsibility pattern passes on a request to a chain of handlers one at a time. Each handler can handle different requests. So if the first handler can’t handle the request, then it will pass it on to the next handler. Once a request is handled, the chain ends. Since there is no longer a need to pass on the request.

It is also possible that the request doesn’t get handled by any of the handlers. Since each handler can handle 0, 1 or many requests of different types.

See the full tutorial here.

Console output:

18y/o me: learning that the code goes through line by line, one after the other.

25 y/o me: reading about memory ordering in C++ and seeing that the compiler can just decide to move your lines in the order it wants and you have to tell it to not do that.