seen from South Korea
seen from Latvia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Colombia
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seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Japan
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seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from China
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I smell of soap and sweat and
Sex
I look like not enough sleep, not enough sleep, not enough sleep
Too much work and not enough time between sheets
Peel me a peach
Remove the skin attached to flesh as it
Drips
Drips
Drips
Make a mess
Explain that it was inevitable
Removing things so intertwined, so close, so divine
Leaves scars, leaves messes
Leaves lines
Tell me that after the ripping
Everything will be fine
Fine
Fine.
E.Queen
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It's the fall and I haven't written anything in ages. I blame my good mood.
The leaves fall, the wind whistles and the days shorten. Over and over again they shorten.
Gray skies at sunrise create the same temper.
It has been raining. For weeks on end the rain has grizzled and splashed down into the cooling soil, giving it the last bit of life it can before the freeze. It's gray and it rains.
I learned how the leaves fall this year. It's a protection mechanism the tree has. Creating a layer between where the life once poured in to keep the cold out. Layers.
The same way we layer ourselves when it rains or it's cold. Protecting ourselves.
The same way we protect our hearts once we learn that leaving them exposed gets the life sucked out of us.
I'm reading my favourite book. I'm trying to drink less coffee. I'm seeing a therapist. I'm doing my best to enjoy the colours and I'm succeeding. It really is quite beautiful.
I'm deeply in love and I'm learning how to be patient with myself. To communicate wants.
It's your birthday this week and I want to offer you the world. But I can't. So I want to offer you the day-to-day. The joy of the little things. The magic of looking across the room to find the other person already looking at you. I want to offer you love. Extra love that you can carry with you and take a bit when you need it. The excitement of watching the rain fall or the love for the bright orange surrounding us.
It is gray and raining. I haven't written anything in ages. But I love you. And the world is still alive around us. We just have to look.
20th of October 2018
It's hard to believe that someone else used to live here. Used to share the same bed. Same routine. Same desires. It's hard to believe she doesn't live here anymore. That after just a few days, she packed up all her things and left. She said I ruined everything. I said I never told you to leave She said there was no chance she'd stay. Not if I meant what I said. I told her I only said it to help her move on. Help her get closure. I know what it is to need closure. She asks why she needs closure if I plan on coming back. I said I hope I come back but that doesn't mean I plan on it. I'm not planning anything. I can't plan anything. I can barely remember to take out the trash how could I possibly decide who to spend the rest of my life with. Life has just begun and I am so young and so tired and I don't have the energy to fight you on this. So you left and I said nothing. I left and I said nothing. I think the door is closed. I'm not ready to find out. You still have the keys to our apartment. If you walked in it wouldn't be our apartment. I spend so little time here it's barely my apartment. It's hard to believe you used to live here with me. It's hard to believe I live. E.Queen
September 5th 2018 12:20am
Blue eyed beauty Im amazed at your ability to send my body rolling Like a sea salt spray (same tint as your eyes Spraying my thirsty heart) Back and forth and around again All over again When you walk into a room Or laugh into a room My whole body lights up like a goddamn christmas tree Your smile is contagious in a way that makes me believe in magic Because how else could it have such an effect on me? I stop breathing when your eyes crinkle up at the sides And I can't believe it took me 23 years to learn what it means to be at someone else's mercy because I can feel your soul dancing with mine under the moonlight in a park close to my childhood home But I don't even know your mother's name. And I go mad at the fact that I might never press my hand to your cheek again. But see, We weren't supposed to fall in love. We weren't supposed to connect like dots, like beauty marks on your back, like freckles on my cheeks. We weren't supposed to be happy. Not together. Not like this. Not right now. I hope one day I have the privilege to love you out loud. To call you mine. To be completely yours. I hope we find each other again, in this life. I know in another Universe, we are together and in love and happy. And I feel no shame in finding comfort in that. E.Queen
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I want to scream “Leave me alone!” to the World. I want to whisper “Hold me closer.” to the Universe
E.Queen - Mixed Feelings
I didn't realize you were who I was searching for until I didn't find you where I was looking.
E.Queen
This is a Lie
It is 10:23pm And I am Not Thinking About You
