It's the fall and I haven't written anything in ages. I blame my good mood.
The leaves fall, the wind whistles and the days shorten. Over and over again they shorten.
Gray skies at sunrise create the same temper.
It has been raining. For weeks on end the rain has grizzled and splashed down into the cooling soil, giving it the last bit of life it can before the freeze. It's gray and it rains.
I learned how the leaves fall this year. It's a protection mechanism the tree has. Creating a layer between where the life once poured in to keep the cold out. Layers.
The same way we layer ourselves when it rains or it's cold. Protecting ourselves.
The same way we protect our hearts once we learn that leaving them exposed gets the life sucked out of us.
I'm reading my favourite book. I'm trying to drink less coffee. I'm seeing a therapist. I'm doing my best to enjoy the colours and I'm succeeding. It really is quite beautiful.
I'm deeply in love and I'm learning how to be patient with myself. To communicate wants.
It's your birthday this week and I want to offer you the world. But I can't. So I want to offer you the day-to-day. The joy of the little things. The magic of looking across the room to find the other person already looking at you. I want to offer you love. Extra love that you can carry with you and take a bit when you need it. The excitement of watching the rain fall or the love for the bright orange surrounding us.
It is gray and raining. I haven't written anything in ages. But I love you. And the world is still alive around us. We just have to look.