#contemplatingoutlander

I’ve been shown that contemplatingoutlander is once again playing the victim, vilifying me, and doing what she does best--manipulating people to believe that what she’s done can be justified or excused. And that my, and other people’s, responses to her are overreactions and unwarranted. I don’t want to belabor this. I’ll try to be as concise as possible, but I’m wordy so I can’t make any promises. :-)

I offer you this. If it were just Paul and I who were angry with how CO treated us, or the libelous things she said about us, or her verbal abuse in DMs, then I could see coming to the conclusion that perhaps there is a personal vendetta against her that is out of proportion to what she’s done. But it’s NOT just Paul and I. It’s MANY other Non-Shippers who have had similar negative experiences with her and want nothing to do with her. How bad do things have to be with her that people literally have to BLOCK her? Not simply unfollow her, but block her.  That’s not just a disagreement or a difference of opinion, that’s literally a person being so angry, fed up or actually, scared, that they want to prevent any contact from her. Please stop and think about that. It’s not just me or Paul, it is the MAJORITY on this side on Tumblr. And worse, people who were friends with her. Think about  what could have been SO bad that her friends have her blocked. Again, logic would dictate that things have happened behind the scenes that people don’t know about. And that CO doesn’t want anyone to know about. 

Shippers and shipper sympathizers are a lost cause, but for those of you on this side who can’t understand the vitriol against CO. Instead of falling for CO’s manipulations that I’m the bully or what I say about her is out of proportion to what she says about me. Isn’t it more logical that it’s not that what CO has done to the rest of us isn’t that bad, it’s that you don’t know the full story...and also, that she hasn’t done it to you. 

Thanks for clarifying your position here and in some comments in the reply section alt-megan. I did assume you were mentioning Bree’s independence during the birthing scene because of your overall thesis that the show had made her more independent. I also assumed you realized that she did have some help when you wrote, “In the show, she gives birth alone (mostly).” That “mostly” indicated you were aware that he others helped her.

I wrote as much about the birth and the celebration of sisterhood as I did not so much to counter your position as to counter the position of so many fans that the birth scene was ruined because Jamie wasn’t holding Bree’s hand. (BTW, I think it was interesting that most people who were upset about the change to the scene didn’t really seem that upset that Claire missed out on actually delivering the baby–but that a “bonding” scene between Bree and Jamie didn’t happen.)

In certain critical fans’ needs to make a case that the show’s writers constantly diminish Jamie’s role, they overlooked the female bonding and sisterhood of how the scene was written for the show. I find this curious because many of these critics call themselves feminists. (BTW they also overlook the fact that a black woman served in the important role of midwife.)

The changes to this scene could have been applauded because of the underlying messages about women of different races and social statuses helping a young woman give birth to her first child. Despite the fact that one woman was a slave, one was the wealthy owner of that slave, and one was an indentured servant to the unmarried woman giving birth, during the birthing they were interacting as equals (with the slave Phaedre having maybe a little more power in the birth because of her role as a midwife).

How differently this scene could have been perceived by certain viewers if they weren’t so fixated on Jamie.

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alt-megan: I’m pulling this out because the multiple reblogs were making the post too long and the discussion has veered away from the main topic of the original post...

You said “I agree with nearly all of it” so I assumed you brought up the birth scene as a counter argument, because that was the part that you didn’t agree with.  Thanks for clarifying.

I really like the point you’ve made about the different social statuses of the women, and that “during the birth they were interacting as equals.”  

I think some of the fans, not all, but some of the fans that were disappointed that Jamie wasn’t there for the birth would have been okay with the change if the writers had replaced it with an equivalent “bonding” or “reconciliation” moment for Jamie and Bree.  But, they didn’t.  Instead, they gave us Brianna and Murtagh’s conversation where Brianna says that she has already forgiven Jamie.  Probably the writers assumed this was a suitable replacement, but for a lot of fans, it wasn’t (for me, personally, it was).  Jamie and Bree don’t exchange so much as two words with each other in the finale and Jamie doesn’t hold his grandson—that makes the birth scene change sting all the more.  These fans believe that Jamie deserves to be present during the birth of his grandson, because he wasn’t there for Claire when they lost Faith, and he wasn’t there for Brianna’s birth or childhood.  

I don’t share the same level of disappointment as these fans do (we will get plenty of Granda’ Jamie in season 5), but I definitely understand why they are so disappointed.  I, like you, loved the birth scene for what it was.  I also didn’t feel a “reconciliation” conversation between Bree and Jamie was absolutely necessary.  Some fans felt that Brianna was overreacting and being unduly harsh towards Jamie, and those fans really, really wanted to hear Brianna say “I forgive you” to Jamie’s face.  Because, again, it’s about what Jamie deserves and Jamie deserves Brianna’s forgiveness.    

I don’t want to say much more about what happened tonight but I will say this.

CO is making out that I am some asshole NST when the irony is that when I joined Tumblr 9 months ago she was the first blog I followed. Back then, I thought you had to be either an NST or ES, so I jumped onboard.

That is not the case! That is why I have not posted anything remotely NST in months. I’ve been too busy enjoying Outlander, Sam and making cinnabuns.

Back in those days it would have been an incredible stigma for Claire to have raised a child by herself that appeared to have been conceived in an adulterous affair. Frank was noble in staying. If he had also not taken on most of Bree's caretaking (something men did not do back then) Claire would not have finished medical school, her residency and been able to have a full career as a doctor. Frank had his flaws but he was a good father and in his way he supported Claire.

There certainly was a great stigma around single mothers, but Claire isn’t exactly one to follow what society thinks she ought to do. Even just look at her going to medical school. In the 50s there was a huge stigma around a married woman working, even more so than a single woman doing the same, as it was thought that she ought to be at home caring for her husband and child (anecdotally, this was something my grandmother - who was a doctor in the 50s - experienced). Not to negate her own agency, but I think a large part of her decision rested on Jamie asking her to go back to that marriage so she’ll have someone to care for her and the baby.  I also disagree that he was the one to look after most of Bree’s caretaking. He was a good father, sure, but Claire didn’t go to med school until Bree was about 10 (for reference, think about Joe saying he’s known Bree for about 10 years before Claire left when Bree was 20). If we think about the night of the Awful Dinner, it’s clear Claire was mostly acting as a traditional 50s housewife while Bree was little. It’s true he may have taken on more when she did go to med school, and that was likely very important in her ability to go to med school, but Bree was also a good deal more self-reliant then.

Trust me, CO, you don't know who I am in real life. No matter what "proof" you've been shown. I know this with 100% certainty. A few months ago, I shared my real identity with a select few from my inner circle, the SAME inner circle I've had in Twitter DM group for 6 years now, minus the few bad apples who went running to you. THEY know WHO I really am. So go ahead and post your Scilla proof and I'll go directly to her and DM her on Twitter, so she can prosecute you for doxing and libel. But it won't have any effect on ME.

But the fact that you would go there, shows how low you will stoop. And the type of person you really are. I'm not messing with your real life, even though I actually DO know who you are, since you basically told me, nor will I mess with your real life. If I wanted to do that I could have done it years ago, but I didn't. And I won't. Because I'm not the horrible person you make me out to be.

As for the Mary Sass and Alittlebitmass stuff, I don't even know what you're talking about. If I remember correctly that was YEARS ago. Whatever they said about Sam or Paul, obviously Sam's legal team would do their own research. Sam's not stupid. Do you really think he would have blocked you without having his legal team investigate you first. They obviously found things they didn't like, just like they did with Extreme Shippers, and that's why you're all blocked. Didn't you read what Sam said? He said he couldn't say more for legal reasons. This isn't just something he did on a whim, because anyone influenced him. This is serious and his legal team is involved. And you're part of that investigation. Because of YOUR actions. Not because of what anyone told him. If you think that, then you really aren't giving Sam much credit.

So, keep messing with me and I WILL post the screencaps I have proving you KNEW Vividdreamer was a fraud but didn't care, and the MULTIPLE DMs that NST posted showing your ABUSE of them. I think you must have amnesia if you don't remember how bad all to those make you look. The difference between you and I is that you care how you are perceived by others, I don't.

*big long sigh*

So, as you’ve seen the last few days, there’s been a back and forth between @contemplatingoutlander and other Non-Shippers. CO said she was “done,” with the tit for tat, but of course she wasn’t, and it seems she’s decided take on each NST she feels has wronged her. 

I don’t want to get into a back and forth with her because it will never end, and also because, at this point, the details are beside the point. It’s all ancient history. Whenever I feel myself getting bogged down by the minutiae of a situation, I take a step back, and try to look at the complete picture--not each individual part, but the WHOLE of a situation. It’s only when we step back and out that we can see things more clearly. Seeing the forest, and not just the trees. Sadly, I’ve said all this before months ago. So, I’m going to copy and paste some of what I posted in a previous blog with some additions and edits.

CO this is for you directly. And I want to make it clear that I’m not posting this to incite others to “pile” on you (I tried to find a turn off comments option but I don’t see one, or I would have used it). I’m posting this because it’s the truth and gets at the crux of the matter, the bigger picture, the forest, if you will. And I hope that THIS time you actually take it to heart.

Here is the FOREST: People don’t care if everything someone says is completely accurate, and that person is right, and there is even proof to back it up, people care about how they are treated. That’s where you lost sight of human nature. It doesn’t matter whether everything you said about others is true, it doesn’t matter whether everything you said about me is true, none of that matters if in the process you treat people like sh*t. A person can prove to people that the Earth is round, but if that person is a b*tch while doing so, people won’t care. And that’s the bottom line… all your proof, your dissertations, your pleading for NST to take the higher moral ground, your crusade to show people certain negative things about me, and other NSTs, all ultimately fell on deaf ears because you, YOU, ContemplatingOutlander, and no one else, treated your fellow NST badly. Read that again. It’s really that simple. That’s the TRUTH you should be concerning yourself with. No one wants to be treated like sh*t, especially by a friend. THAT’S why you are blocked by so many. 

So, it’s not that NST were blind to my sins, and if only you, CO could prove to them what a “terrible” person I am, that they would then turn against me and align with you, it’s that they didn’t care about my “sins” because I didn’t treat them the way you did. You supposedly had all the “info,” all the “proof,” all the “ethics” and “morals,” yet you treated people badly. THAT'S why you are blocked and I am not. Simple as that.

I know you don’t believe me, but I don’t wish you any harm, CO, I truly don’t. I would hope the finger pointing, attacks, and unnecessary drama, which  no one WANTS, would stop, and we could all go back to having fun on here the way each of us individually see fit…like grown adults. There’s room here for ALL of us. 

One would think if THIS many people who were your friends at one time are telling you that you need to self-reflect and reevaluate YOUR behavior, that you would. You’re a smart lady, it can’t be that we’re ALL wrong, and you’re just “misunderstood.” Life doesn’t work that way. It’s like that analogy “If you walk down the street and you run into an a*shole, he’s an a*shole. If the next day, you walk down the street and you run into an a*shole, he’s probably an a*shole. If the day after that, you walked down the street and you run into another a*shole, he’s most likely an a*shole. If you walk down the street again and you run into another a*shole, YOU’RE the a*shole. Forgive the indelicate analogy, but hey, I’m me. :-)