#consuming

Good morning and welcome to your Daily!Tom!

Black and white definitely works for him. I swear it makes his eyes even more blue. There's something about his expression here that's....I don't know... intriguing? Compelling? Captivating perhaps.

I just need to stay long enough

to creep into your thoughts

like a crack that won't close.

Every time you touch me—even if just by mistake—

something in me opens,

and I let it happen,

even if it hurts,

even if it's too much.

Because the pain is still yours, somehow,

and I welcome it

as proof that I exist for you.

I learned to count the invisible bruises,

to call them by name,

to hold them tight like prayers

that no one should ever hear.

If one day you try to erase me,

you will find nothing to take away—

but you'll feel anyway

something pulling slowly under the skin,

a memory you didn't choose.

It's not a chain,

it's not a cage—

It's only me

that I left behind

in all your habits.

And if that means consuming me

until I no longer recognize myself,

then that's fine—

because every part lost

There are things within us all that can never be unleashed..

and what would happen if they were ?

Very much targeted towards @l0rd-of-chaos and @cecil-speaks !! :33 thank you for asking :3

I specifically feel like the concept of cannibalism lives inside of me in a way, and it's part of me- not only in a "I am a cannibal" way but also in a "i am cannibalism" way. This identity was probably a part of me for quite a while now but I'm not sure for how long. I'm guessing it has to do with how i bite other people as a way to show affection lol But i am cannibalism in the way that is natural. The kind of cannibalism where there is no other option than consuming the flesh of your own species or even yourself. The kind where wild animals consume their own species. I feel like cannibalism is in a way natural, so natural to a point it resonates with my identity. I feel like it's one of the most frowned upon part of nature, i mean, consuming your own kind? But i feel like i am also frowned upon. And i deeply resonate with the parts of nature that are frowned upon and demonized. I am also a part of nature, even though my kind is so so evil towards nature, even ruining it. But what other way to reconnect with nature do i have if there's not much left? If so much of it is ruined, how am i supposed to be true to my nature if there might be nothing left but my kind? If there's nothing more natural and real in the world, I will go back to my natural self. I will listen to my instincts. I will do everything to be one with nature again.

I feel that Cannibalism is seen as the most unnatural natural thing. And as someone who knows very well that i would go and consume the flesh of another one of my species, i feel like i am letting these instincts "free" to a degree. Like of course I'm not going to eat the flesh of another human, i feel no need to do so, but the instinct is there, i will resolve to eatings another human when there's nothing else. Like cannibalism is naturally a part of me and everybody else but i don't really block the feeling, the instinct.

I shall start my exploration of the concept of Digital Gardening by sharing the definition of Maggie Appleton:

A garden is a collection of evolving ideas that aren't strictly organised by their publication date. They're inherently exploratory – notes are linked through contextual associations. They aren't refined or complete - notes are published as half-finished thoughts that will grow and evolve over time. They're less rigid, less performative, and less perfect than the personal websites we're used to seeing.1

Digital gardens move along the spectrum of personal notebooks, wikis and blogs, but they transcend their limitations and get closer to the ideal of the second brain by rejecting the idea that content should be organised linearly or chronologically. Instead they are organised like webs of knowledge, connected with hyperlinks of common themes, ideas and thoughts. Not only does it cultivates the gardener's ability to enter in dialogue with the thoughts they had in the past and to constantly grow and rewrite themselves, it also makes for a fascinating user experience.

A digital garden, as I see it, should capture the compelling feeling of following a rabbit hole, letting one's curiosity take the reins. It should be a terrain for exploration for both the gardener and the user. Maggie writes "You get to actively choose which curiosity trail to follow, rather than defaulting to the algorithmically-filtered ephemeral stream." 2 It reminds me of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. Their non-linear structure allows for a deliberate and individual path to be chosen. They rebel, in a way, against the commercial, advertised, AI-generated internet that is pushed towards us nowadays. Instead, they are an unfiltered, destructured, consciously and humanely built space on the internet, where one can cultivate the seeds of their intellect and imagination.

In the first conversation I had with my boyfriend after discovering digital gardening, I expressed my need to break free from doomscrolling and content that I did not have time to or was unwilling to digest and process. Nowadays, it is so easy to be sucked into a mode of consumption which destroys the individual and aims to replace it was an advertisement machine, a brain-dead puppet for corporations to tramp on. Digital gardening and the process of taking notes and consuming content mindfully breaks from the bad habit of scrolling and offers a space to speak at length and get lost in thoughts.

Indeed, we are all fatigued by fast-paced commercial media, and we forget that the media we consume is what shapes us, not only as artists but also as individuals. Therefore, it is not really about consuming less, but about consuming more mindfully, and taking ownership of the thoughts provoked by the media we consume. We should not only let it change us, we should be critical thinkers who engage in a conversation with the art and the media that goes through us. We should disagree, add onto, reflect, and put in the work to cultivate ourselves mindfully. Anna Howard 3 puts forward the idea that a way to become more creative is to take notes. My main take-away from her video was that her idea of taking notes was akin to creating through thinking original thoughts and writing them down. It is no longer about copy-pasting content from an article or film. It is about digesting, reformulating, conversing with the art. The note taking that she does is less about the actual content of the media and more about her own vision of the world. It is inspired by it of course, but she makes it hers through the act of note taking. It is in my opinion very similar to the process of creation, through which we let ourselves be influenced by the works of others, and "digest them", mash them all down, mix and churn them into something uniquely ours. 

At their core, digital gardens rebel against the idea of what a website "should be" or "should look like". They aspire to be less perfect and performative than the usual blog or wiki, which we have been taught should look professional, official, consistent. But I am not a "tiny corporation" 4 . I am not politically correct, I am not objective, I am not fixed in time. I can choose to revolt against this limited view of humanity. Like ourselves, digital gardens are imperfect, unconventional, ground-breakingly unique, and in constant evolution. We are not are not structured by the subjunctive. We simply are, in all of our messiness and imperfection. This is what makes them so beautiful. Digital gardens capture the experience of picking at someone's brain and unveiling patterns and connections.