#constructive feedback

His angel

He was 9, it was the summer. They were visiting his grandparents. It might've been the first time he met them or perhaps the second. He couldn't tell you. Their faces were unfamiliar that's for sure. They went in an orange church with white crosses. The mass started. Beside the priest there were two boys, helping him. One of them grabbed his attention. He was older than him. He looked so graceful as he walked in that white dress. During a song, Zaphon could hear the boy's voice, it was so melodious, so beautiful.

An angel, he must've been an angel. No human could be so graceful, so perfect, so he must be an angel. And if he was angel than God must be real. He spent the rest of the mass staring, observing that angel walking among mere humans. Gracefully helping the priest in his work.

After the mass, he was near the door, handing out flyers, he had the softest smile and the kindest eyes when he handed one to Zaphon. As they walked back to his grandparents house, He couldn't stop talking about him, his parents seemed annoyed but his grandmother smiled. "You can do that too, you know. I'm sure they need some altar server back in Missouri."

He did. He became an altar server. He wanted to become an angel, they made him a sinner. He told his parents and they never felt greater shame. How dare he? How dare he tempts such a holy man. How dare he lead him to sin. Their words were sharp and their palms were hard. He didn't told them the next times it happened. He just pray, and pray, and pray, pleading, begging to be clean again, to be pure, to be holy. His prayers were left unanswered.

Even tho he kept quiet, his parents knew, he could tell. They had that glare of disgust when they'd look at him, the same glare that the small statue of the Christ on the cross that sat above his bed had as he looked down at him. His parents hated him, all he did was bring them shame. They would viciously remind him his place with both their tongues and their hands and Zaphon, poor Zaphon, would shrink, and shrink, and yet, could never seems to be small enough. He wanted to disappear, be invisible, he wanted for people to stop looking, staring at him with that pity and disgust that is reserved for the ones that lives in sin.

How long did that lasted? 4 years, but it felt like it was always like this. Zaphon had forgotten how it was before. This was all he knew.

It was an evening, he was praying, begging for forgiveness, as usual, when he heard something, a strange noise coming from his parents bedroom. A struggle. He froze. The sound kept going. He wasn't allowed outside his bedroom at that hour and his parents, if they caught him, would make sure that he regrets his insolence but the curiosity was too strong to be ignored. He got up and, without a sound, made his way to his parents room. The sound of the struggle had stop by now. The door was slightly open, Zaphon leaned forward to take a look. Then he ran, he got out of the house and ran, and ran, until the exhaustion made him clumsy and he trip, and fell, then he started yelling, screaming for help, people got woken up, got out of their houses to see what was happening and asked him what was wrong but when Zaphon tried to answer, he remembered the foul, metallic odor that came out of his parents bedroom and puked. The police was called.

Zaphon knew what he saw. They could tell him that it was a trick of the light or his imagination or that it was too dark and he saw wrong, he knew what he saw. The police could investigate as much as they wanted they wouldn't find a perpetrator, they wouldn't find a murderer or even a motive because there were none to be found. Zaphon knew that what killed his parents wasn't human. It didn't moved or looked like one and probably didn't think like one either. It was a demon. He knew that. He told them but they didn't listen, they didn't believed him. They would look at him and ask him if he often seen demons. They thought he was insane. He wasn't. He knew what he saw and no matter how many "reasonable" explanations they would give him, he knew what he saw, he knew it was a demon. They interrogated him. They thought maybe he was responsible. Obviously, they knew he wasn't the one to commit the act. He didn't had any blood on him when he was running on the street and he lacked the muscles to commit such savagery. No, he didn't directly do it but maybe he made someone else do the dirty work. Maybe he was behind the murder of Mr and Mrs Sanders death. Zaphon thought so too, but for different reason. He didn't paid anyone, that's for sure, but he did sometimes wished for his parents to leave him alone. Prayed that they would stop seeing him, stop hitting him, that they would just shut up and, sometimes, that they would just die. He'd always regret it and ask for forgiveness. Seems like it wasn't enough. His prayers has been answered after all, but not by God.

He was declared innocent, there weren't any substantial proofs against him. He was sent to live with his maternal grandmother.

Upon arriving he discovered that his grandfather had died the year prior. His parents had received the invitation to his funeral and decided not to go. His grandmother have been living alone, without receiving any news from her daughter or grandson, well, until now that is. She welcomed Zaphon with open arms. She hugged him crying, he let her but didn't hugged back and his eyes stayed dry.

For the several weeks that followed his arrival at Albuquerque, he locked himself in his room and closed the shutters. He was convinced that the demon had followed him and that it was lurking outside, eagerly waiting for him to get out so it could finish what it had started. He was terrified and would pray all day for protection, forgiveness or just to be heard. He couldn't sleep and the subtlest noise would sent him in a panic.

Eventually, his grandmother convinced him to visit the town. He wandered around all afternoon, looking at the unfamiliar building and trying to avoid the eyes of the people he would walk by. When the sun started to lower, he realized that he had no idea where he was. He tried to follow his steps back but all the street he'd end up in seemed new. He was trying to hide the panic that was bubbling up inside him as his walk got more frantic. He didn't wanted to be out at night, the demon would get him, he needed to go home. By some miracle, he ended up in front of the church, the same church from all those years ago, the one with the orange walls and the white crosses. He looked around but couldn't seem to remember which street would lead him home. Tired and defeated, he sat against the wall and started to silently sob.

A soft voice got him out of his despair, "Hey, what's wrong?" it said, with an slight accent. Zaphon looked up. It was him, his angel, right there, kneeling beside him. He was just as beautiful as the first time he saw him, if not more, and he was right there, looking at him and so close. Zaphon tried to answer him but all he could do was stutter as his face began to go red. He must've looked so stupid but the man didn't laughed. He simply waited, patiently for Zaphon to get his head straight and tell him he was lost. He offered him his phone so he could call his grandmother. She said she'd come pick him up and apologized several time, said she should've came with and promised to buy him a phone.

The man waited with him. He presented himself, said his name was Jacinto and asked for his. When he told him, he mentioned how they both have uncommon name with a slight smile. When his grandmother arrived, she, again, apologized over and over to Zaphon. She also thanked over a thousand time Jacinto. As they left, he said "goodbye Zaphon!" and hearing his name in his melodious voice sent shivers through him.

1: La Cuisine

La Cuisine is a simple college setting drama. A love story that starts from the scratch and connects through food and friendships (aka side characters). It's so simple that, obviously the script writer ran out of ideas for the last couple of chapters and created a jealous love rival (ooh and ofc it's a petty girl, there's always a petty jealous girl (!)). And it went more and more ridiculous towards the end somehow? I love this series ngl, i love the lovey dovey relationship between the main characters but would i rewatch for it's plot? No. I rewatch it because I just like it?

Acting is all on the floor, especially for the cutie patootie. He can't act for his lifeee bruhh. He's pretty, yes no doubt in that but like at least take some beginner acting classes? Or maybe that was the exact vibe the director wanted? Idek. Also I'm also quite surprised to be saying this but the side characters were too much, their love storylines were just so inessential? Like oh my, a group of friends dating with another group of friends?!?! Like there's no one else left at the fucking faculty? Okay...

With better acting and well positioned side characters, it actually could be so much better. I can't point out the plot exactly but it's a light romance (maybe a little comedy as well) so you actually might enjoy the first episodes! I somehow like this despite everything (uhhhh...)

2: Low Frequency

It was a solid plot but the end felt rushed. Oh no, they didn't have less episodes than everyone else, they just chose to do it that way. Honestly, when will they understand that the growth of the character is much more important than to leave everything to the last second? I, personally, don't feel excited for the ending at all when every major incident is left to be resolved in the last episodes.

Some attempts were made and I genuinely appreciate that! They weren't bad scenes, and I think it helped the characters connect and develop their relationship but while all of this was happening one of them being a whole ass ghost didn't help at all! And the fact that they weren't that close with each other on a certain level when they were both alive made the whole thing a little weird to me. Like, that's almost a stranger...

Back to the topic, I rewatched this show like twice at most and I only rewatched the first three episodes, because the rest turned into an uninteresting ghost story after the first watch. Is it a bad story? Definitely not. Curiosity was alive till everything worked out which is a hard thing to do, so good job on that one! Chemistry was also good, but we could only see them flirting for idk how many but definitely not more than 30 mins. They do get together, yes but I just can't stop feeling like the team wasted a good on screen chemistry with this script...

3: A Secretly Love

You can't even guess how many times I rewatched this one! And believe me it should be counted as an achievement with the way subtitles were made. They got better but not all episodes, it's a torture to watch w those subtitles. I might as well consider learning Thai at this point.

First of all, let me talk about the senior main lead. I don't know his real name but he's a really good actor. He was also in the series "That's my candy" as the main lead and "City of stars" as a second role. I'd love to see him in more and bigger projects!

For this series, the plot again is a college setting light romance. The acting is off, especially with the main lead (waiter one). And omg that hairstyle??!!! JAIL! Why would they try to make him look more needy/timid w only his hairstyle and lack of communicational skills. Due to the lack of characterization, he looked bothered, even egocentric at times when he obv should've looked introverted... Didn't anyone point that out at all when this was made? Not even one person?!?! Yeah, no. I'm pissed because I think locations, lacking personalities in side characters (unfortunately you can see this clearly in their conversations), bland reactions made the whole thing bad when they could've just had a mid light romance series. And it's not even a budget thing, the angles, acting and a bit of deep thinking about the side characters could easily fix this... Everything was all over the place, esp towards the end. I mean If you write a group of 5 friends (could be less i don't even remember the exact number) you should at least be able to write a proper sentence about their characters. You can't write personality traits only for the main leadss (well one is written and the other just exists...). This isn't a fanfic. Wait maybe that's why I kinda like rewatching it for no reason?? Well what a pity...

4: I Saw You In My Dream

This one is not bad at all but not THAT good either unfortunately. This dreamy kind of plot was quite popular when I Saw You In My Dream was on air, so I kinda get why it didn't become famous or known in general. It feels like the whole dream thing was added as an AD (Was it actually?). But they somehow did unexpectedly nice? Or it might just be me idk. 10 episodes + 1 special episode, pretty good. Softie main lead's acting was stiff but I've seen worse soooo why not hehe (nervous laughing). Others did a good job in acting though, very promising actors.

The plot didn't go as i thought it would, I thought it'd be more focused on dreams but the changes in rhythm between that and unnecessary subplots were unsteady. Let's talk about the parents, this was one of the most healthy parent-child relationships I've ever seen in a bl. Such a fresh breath of air, good to see it! The side couple was nice. The little brother also starred in head 2 head (I just realized that these two have almost the same plot?????) as a second couple, and did a great job! 'Why's this series on this list then?' You might ask. Because it could've been so much better! Pacing, acting, chemistry and everything was nice but the plot was shallow. Again the dream thing wasn't based on a solid ground and eventually it felt like listening to a neighbor gossip.

In its twin series Head2Head, the ground was much more solid and no unnecessary characters were added for the sake of creating more drama to fill the episodes... And that's why they did it better obviously. Because the storytelling is not extremely different. But honestly go watch it, i think you guys might actually like it! I rewatched this like a week ago

5: Be Your Star

Yup, you're seeing correct, this is, indeed a Vietnamese bl! Maybe the style of the Vietnamese series is not fit for me but the scenes, cuts, angles and good for nothing scenes always bothers me. For example in this series, the plot is good, simple and painful but it was good, the feelings were portrayed nicely. The acting was great. Even for the side couple, you can understand the motive of their existence in the series which can be hard to find in many bl's.

The series has 20 episodes, honestly I'd be okay if the plot was more complex or something that needed detailed scenes or required in depth dialogues between characters because it'd just make sense! But the problem is, the side couple was shallow and the main couple kept going back and forth. It can be understandable because he's coming out of the closet where he didn't even know that he was trapped in it BUT that dilemma could be done in one single episode too! Side couple's troubles were slightly mentioned in the early episodes while there was so much room!

Towards the end their lines and stories became a bit better, but the ground was already made. Starting off with the wrong foot, now everybody is shaking. The storytelling wasn't bad, i just think it could be better.

Also, Trigger Warning! Homophobia, sa, abuse etc. Please take a second thought before watching this series, this might be extremely triggering for some.

6: Reloved

"Reloved the series" ended like a week ago and I'm already criticizing pfffttt This was quite promising from the start. Then all of a sudden the side character died??? His death didn't even add any useful things to the plot! And mind you, he was part of the second couple... After the death accident, the whole series went downhill unfortunately. It's a pity because the chemistry was good, side characters were supportive, could be better but with this kind of simple plot it was just enough. The misunderstanding trope is already a negative start for me but the couple's vibe was great.

Also the flashbacks between the past years and present confused me a little ngl. Instead of going back to the one single memory on each eye contact scene, why don't you just make one episode about what really happened in the past? Well that's not up to me to decide but this version was messy af. But will I rewatch? Yup, probably.

7: Dangerous Romance

The plot started simple then it shifted into something completely different BUT (and yes, it is a big 'but') there were signals about what was yet to come! So yeah, whew what a save! Before we talk about anything else, can we talk about the acting? Cause honey everybody was eating tf up!!! The main couple did so great, especially Perth (yes i looked up his name, he was that good!) did an amazing job! He also was paired with Santa in the series "Perfect 10 Liners" as another love story. Santa is an amazing actor as well, so it was such a feast to watch them as a viewer.

Okay, back to the "Dangerous Romance". I think the lack of communication between the characters towards the end was not it. Again near the ending, the second couple took too much time on the screen. Because of the limited screen time between the stories, i think the second couple's story was used as a saving step which didn't do really well... In short, there was a huge lack in character "pov"s. Separation scenes were dragged on...

Other than that tho, it was great overall. Last but not least, why was the main character sad when he got whatever he wanted bruh? Oh nooo my cake is too sweet, my coat is so warm!

8: Battle Of The Writers

If you watch bl for a while you will know that this one isn't the first drama of the main couple. They made their names known in the series "Cutie Pie" as a third couple and they attracted attention with their on screen chemistry and oddly written love story which is quite a hard thing to do! I think this duo had a serious problem with script choosing oooorr whoever was in charge of choosing their projects genuinely hated them... But considering the industry, they probably didn't have many options as beginner actors. If that was the situation, i can understand. I don't approve but I understand. Gotta pay those bills somehow, right?

For their first main lead project, which is "The Middleman's Love". The series was as simple as its' name. The acting, script, the pace was such a let down! The problem is, The Middleman's Love wasn't good but the production team did an amazing job! I could see the budget wasn't ordinary or low, even though it was i didn't see a glance of it so shout out to them fr!

The main couple did some small scenes in other dramas, then the Battle Of The Writers started to air. Didn't have any expectations but it caught me off guard! At least this one is better than their other projects. Stable script (well...), nice pace and again production was good. I don't know how famous they were w this but I feel like the series could be better regardless of their fame. Acting was balanced with the one main being good at it and other main bad. Shortie one in this can't act and needs to catch up to his partner! OR they should just go separate ways so the cute tall guy can be in a better place in his career. I'm sorry for saying this but it is what it is.

What a waste of acting (cute tall guy) and good production. Also exclusive historical scenes or whatever they were, felt so uncalled for...

9: Past-Senger

Okay let's be honest, did you even hear about this series at all? The plot is promising and I think, was, executed okay. A 19 yo boy in the 90's, suddenly finds himself in the present year and then he meets with his love interest.

The beginning of this series was so good, I never rewatched this one but I still remember it perfectly (Which is pretty rare for me). Acting is good! I think the chemistry between the main characters though, wasn't good. They lacked harmony as a couple which is an important problem. Colors and the cinematography in this series looked like a youtube video, and that's another huge problem. Where are the colors?? Why are y'all nonchalant-izing these dramas' visualsss •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

Like almost all of the other time travel themed dramas, unfortunately and inevitably, this one also had some plot holes in it... Since they have a solid topic, main characters' daily struggles could be connected to the main topic because like, why not? Overall it was a good show nonetheless. You guys should watch. However, it could be better AND shorter. Started off strong and then things went south...

10: The Ex Morning

First problem, the project relied too much on the famous pairing! Yes good couple, good acting but what else? Well I guess the target audience was the fans of this pairing because the plot wasn't something big. Production, on the other hand, was good but I think the colors and the locations could be better. The side character's existence in the story was pointless. Wait actually, literally anyone other than the main couples' existence added only air to the story <3 I've seen worse but I'm sure they had a chance to make it better and yet they didn't.

The plot is simple, old lovers that were once separated due to misunderstandings reuniting once again. About the pace, I think the world stopped turning for at least a good 20-30 minutes in this drama's universe because nothing happened in so many scenes...