i love you
I don’t know if it’s a little weird to say all this, yeah it can be, but that’s why I leave my feelings to sit in silent moments we share together. I engulf myself in this unconditional and yearning love I have for you because it feels like even those crumbs are enough to sustain me of the kind of lightness thinking of you, and seeing you in this manner, causes me already. To think about receiving your love in its entirety; in lust and in care, as your friend and as your partner, as the headaches you give me at times, I only dream of getting the chance to live in that world with you so vividly - and you my undying loyalty. My pain healing, and the roots growing through the cracked cement floors.
I dream about holding your hand a lot more, feeling our fingers intertwined. My palms, that of which reads my universe, resting against yours. I dream about resting my head on your shoulders, or yours on mine, as I listen to your breathing; distracting myself from mine fluttering.
I think I am starting to fall in love with you, if not already deeply in it. I believe it’s beyond superficiality, beyond lust, beyond just caring about you, beyond questions and projections, beyond my desire to find connection; I think I love you because of everything I continue to learn about you. The way you make me see the world with more anticipation, more excitement, more moments around me that remind me of how beautiful this all can still be.
You make me desire to write poetry I’ve yet to do so, with such tenderness and delicacy, all while still raw and vulnerable; because you unearth those visceral aspects inside of me. You unravel me, and I wish that was enough but all that does is give me a taste of what and how fruitful the love we have for each other beyond just the confines of being can be.
You are so beautiful. So handsome. So funny. So charming. So smart. So caring. So hot. So endearing in ways you can’t even imagine. You are so many things and versions that I want to keep finding out and being a part of.
As you see me shed my layers, and thus far you still embrace; i just want to fall into your arms and you hold me gently. And I look into your eyes and in that, you believe every word I try to expand and explain simply to convey how beautiful you make me feel, you make this world, how beautiful I see you to be.
God, wow. I am in love with you. Even if pain awaits, I want to profess how much I am still in love with you anyway.
And yet I fear, constantly really, that you simply won’t ever comprehend just how much I do. And if I can’t love you the way I want to, I wish to love you the way you want me to. And I will forever yearn for you. And I truly am so in love with you, that maybe that is alright for now.
