okay so I want to breakdown the “key placements” that can save a relationship from breaking. you know any relationship can work regardless the synastry/composite, and also even with the best interaspects a connection can still fade, right? My question rises from my observation of finding moon-sun conjunction en synastry/composites which have other chaotic placements, as well as beautiful love-stellium that did not maintain the union due to falling into the “wrong” house. So what for which case?
♡ 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕝𝕦𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕤: 𝕒 𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕕𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 ‘𝕜𝕖𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤’ 𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕖 ♡
Disclaimer: same can count for friendships ofc! Also, I don't want to give a 'text book answer' here, because I feel like the dynamic between two people and what brings them together and makes them stay is far too complex as to simply name a few aspects. So I hope you are open for my 'discourse' approach I have here!
Question: So which exact aspects/placements/overlays can tie a connection together?
First off, the basics: you have to look at all the charts together
-> yes, when we want to look at significant themes and the overall quality of a connection (especially if we want to make some sort of a forecast) only looking at one chart or one part of synastry will not be as effective as putting it all together in a bigger picture! This might sound a bit exhausting at the beginning, but doing the extra work will help you finding actual patterns in the dynamic of two/multiple people!
-> So you always want to look at the two individual birth charts, synastry, as well as composite (but remember that composite charts are representative of connections that existed for around a year already). Overall compatibility is not unimportant, but only gives you a little glimpse of what you can actually discover between people.
One of the most important things when it comes to synastry readings: your own birth chart and its themes
-> I really, really want to empathize this point. One and one makes two, not two people are one. That means, you gotta figure yourself and your birth chart out first (and the one of the other person ofc) and see, what you two as individuals carry into this connection and what will be themes you will be individually put a big focus on, what exactly is it that the two of you individually need the most from a connection and the partner in order to feel content and form a healthy union?
-> While it's generally good in text book theory and definitely feels very nice to have the Moon and Sun in a positive aspect to another, or your Venus in your partner's 7th house, you can see couples having a loaded 6th house, harsh aspects between the personal planets, lots of Saturn aspects in synastry and they are still going on strong. Why?
-> It depends on what two you are made of and like (despite the fact that astrology doesn't limit the possibilities of forming a healthy connection with someone). Example: If you were to be a Cancer sun with a Virgo moon and Aries rising, already by the position of your big three, there is a strong empathize on the position and well-being of your Moon sign and Mars sign in synastry. Having your Venus in a bad aspect to your partners Venus def sucks too, don't get me wrong, but the comfort of your Moon and Mars in Synastry will definitely be a top priority, and something you'll notice the quickest if it were to be in a rough (or good) position, next to Venus . Therefore, a good position to the Moon and Mars can make one overcome incompatible Venus. Same would be for a person who's Taurus Sun with a Sagittarius Rising. Jupiter plays a crucial part too, next to Venus, Moon, Mars, Mercury, or any love/relationship/friendship asteroids.
Just as people who natally have their Venus/Mars in close aspects to Saturn (doesn't matter if they're good or bad) often report that they can endure heavy Saturn influence in Synastry and Composite way better or don't mind it that much. They are not only used to it, but can also want and need it. And to expand the example even further: people who have strong Saturn influence in their birth chart - specifically if it's close aspects to the inner planets - can seek out people with Capricorn/Aquarius placements as well, as Saturn's influence ties them together and brings similarity. Even if they don't have lots of placements that are overly compatible with these signs, the aspects can really make the difference in the end.
-> Regarding overlays, this can be the same theme. If you're someone who has strong Mercury/Gemini influence in your chart, and your partners planets fall in the third house (which is usually considered less romantic) this can be just perfect for you as you actually need lots of communication/social interaction and value it on a daily basis! (Because the 3rd house and Gemini/Mercury can have overlapping themes, not because I think Gemini is the equivalent to the 3rd house!). So don't be disheartened if your partners Venus doesn't fall in the 7th or 5th house, when their Venus might fall into a house of your chart that is already very prominent and thus significant to your overall themes and patterns of your birth chart!
→ what to look at generally when it comes to qualities we seek in close connections to others/relationships (specifically long term):
We all know it's important to look at Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Mercury, all together, but never leave out the importance and impact of your chart ruler!! Your chart ruler directs your chart after all, someone generally vibing with the way you navigate your life/being will be important! Also, for additional depth, look at the planet that rules your sun sign, e.g. if you’re an Aquarius Sun your Saturn and Uranus m might play another big defining role in compatibility to others.
Jupiter: shows us the qualities we seek out/need in others in order for us to continuously grow and self-empower, basically someone who doesn't hinder us from forming our own 'luck'. The person who represents our Jupiter qualities can help and inspire us on the long term.
5th house, 8th house, 4th house, 7th house/Descendant/1st house/Ascendant (look at the planets in the houses/the houses rulers in order to get more info on the overall themes of these houses)
Juno: what we need in order to stay committed, how we continuously commit and show commitment
-> now that we figured out the significance of our own birth chart at first, we look at Synastry itself, and before we start getting into aspects, let's focus on overlays:
→ not every overlay is for everyone, hence why there is always a pretty heated debate about which overlay is the ‘holy grail’ in close connnections. It's important to recognize that. Overlays can be pretty hit or miss depending on how you handle the houses themes in your own chart and/or how much they are represented in your natal chart. You can have lots of 8th house influence in your chart and thus really crave that 8th house synastry, but if you haven't at least started working healthily/progressively on your 8th house themes (yes I'm specifically talking about the negative ones), every 8th house overlay can be a pure pain in the ass and trigger the hell out of you to be fair. Likewise, you can have lots of 5th house overlays, but maybe the overall focus on pleasures and fun, can create a rather short lived connection, that lacks groundedness and substance for some people. You can have lots of 7th house overlays, but that doesn’t mean the person will be your long term companion if you still have a very hard time integrating the 7th house signs energy in your life/recognizing the Descendant in yourself. It’s important to put overlays in the context of the whole synastry chart and your individual charts and to not exclude them too much.
→ You see, it's also about how we handle what is given to us and eventually comes down to what we want. This brings us to the 'wrong' overlay:
→ First and foremost, yes: there are houses with inherently darker/tougher themes and that won't change in Synastry either. Doesn't mean your connection is doomed, it just means that the themes of a house and its meanings can not be changed in any context, but that it takes two individuals that will have to figure a way out to deal with said themes accordingly.
→ For example if you'd have a Venus in the 12th house nataly, your partners Moon falling into said house and conjuncting Venus is still a generally positive aspect to have (especially long term), but that won't erase the 12th house themes that color said aspect for you two.
→ So I want to give a quick rundown on the house overlays that can generally harder to deal with due to the themes they represent! Again: doesn't mean they signs of doom in a synastry chart! This also applies for the composite chart!
-> 8th house: I think the reason why the 8th house is hard to deal with is because people often forget about the theme of it in your own natal chart. The 8th house shows us where we need to take responsibility for all our own issues that prevent us from deepening a connection. On a more surface level, the 8th house shows us where we share and sacrifice our self with a partner: all that belongs to us, like our money, but also our emotions/soul, mind and even body. The amount of trust and growth the 8th house requires in yourself in order to willingly trust your partner can be quiet difficult to obtain for some. Furthermore, the 8th house is activated by closeness with others: only by being close to others, you get triggered and can pin point to your own 'trauma/inner shadow' that you experienced in close intimate connections that you haven't progressed yet. It's a house that requires lots of maturity but also bravery and honesty. Having 8th house overlays are therefore not for the faint of heart. Can be soul-crushing beautiful when two people dare to trust and face their devils and be honest, or will simply crush your soul if it's negative, and cause lots of projection to be fair. There's little room for anything in between here.
→ 12th house: The 12th house forces us to give up control: that's the part that comes with self undoing. It's all we can genuinely believe, that is not part of us, that is absent in our life, or we wish we had, but remains a daydream. It’s also the house of isolation, and this theme can still be apparent even if we’re in a relationship. Therefore, the 12th house overlay needs lots of trust and with that, bravery. In a former post of mine I talked about the 12th house being a possible indicator for unrequited love, since it's not only indicating an 'on and off' energy, but often times one doesn't even dare to make the first move. It's watching from afar. Seeing and feelings things the other doesn't, or at least yet. The 12th house is the house of self-undoing: it's the last house and can therefore symbolize an end, but not a foresighted one, it most likely feels sudden, even if the signs were visible all the time. Therefore the 12th house can evoke fear for those who can not build this almost telepathic connection and strong trust and intuition with another, but also in oneself.
→ 6th house: Ahhh.....the house of daily crisis lol. It symbolizes routine and health and how we overcome crisis, so yes, whatever happens between two people, if it falls in the 6th house it'll need to adjust to some sort of routine or becomes automatically practical, which is not a bad thing in itself, but to say so much, whatever planet/point/angle lands here needs to withstand the test of life or better said how we construct life. The 6th house points to our health, because the way we manage our life and construct it will play a big part in our physical and mental health. Therefore, anything in the 6th house will have to prove itself if it's healthy enough to fit into the house person’s routine. Therefore this house is often frowned upon as so 'unromantic' (which it honestly really doesn't have to be) and sucking the 'feelings/excitement' out of any connections (apparently for some, I'm a Virgo rising, so I like someone who can fit into my schedule lol).
→ And yes, you can find cons and pros in every house, I could list the pros and cons of the 3rd and 9th house for hours, or the 10th house creating lots of inner and outer pressure for the planet and house person in synastry, but the 6th, 8th and 12th house are definitely the houses that can carry the most grim undertone.
→ Okay, and before I list a few aspects regarding synastry, I have to play the armchair psychologist for a few seconds. The question from OP was regarding committed, long term connections (doesn't matter of which kind), so we generally want to look at aspects that bring a very foundational understanding of one another, as well as devotion/responsibility for the connection. These are general aspects I'd see as beneficial for every connection, but again, as I've mentioned in the previous part, depending on the significant themes in your chart, other aspects can definitely be more important.
Moon to any personal planets and AC-DC contacts: conjunction, positives, oppositions, semi-sextile mainly. I mention the Moon because this is the most vulnerable part of our chart, physically as well as emotionally. The Moon has to feel understood, or at least with negative aspects, two people should really focus on making the other feel safe and emotionally understood. Saturn and Jupiter can work out too, but it'll be easiest with positive contacts, conjunctions or oppositions, the square or incojunction can be pretty tough, but I've seen people work these out too.
Saturn contacts to personal planets or AC-DC/IC-MC angle: Saturn naturally works like a glue because it creates responsibility, but this doesn't have to equal in it feeling nice, it can actually feel pretty suffocating, so make sure that you don't stay for wrong reasons. Pluto can also work like a glue because it creates unspoken loyalty and depth like nothing else between two people, but can be more explosive than Saturn. Can also make you stay for wrong reasons.
Mercury in neutral/positive contact/opposition to Moon/Sun/Mercury/Jupiter/AC-DC axis: Communication is key, I think I don’t have to elaborate on that too much, lol. But Mercury in Synastry having at least somewhat of a shared basis of understanding or even similarity between two people can ease any other tension a lot! Comfortable/easy communication adds to things running a bit smoother.
Sun in positive/neutral contact to Venus or Jupiter: awakening the strive to grow and search for something beautiful and meaningful in another, the self and the world. Jupiter is a very empowering planet, so I think it's definitely worth including
Venus/Mars in positive/neutral aspect, opposition to Venus/Mars/AC-DC axis: A strong indicator for finding what one craves and dreams of in a connection. Good at keeping up the excitement and feelings in a connection too.
North Node in conjunction to AC-DC angle, personal planets: I specify on the conjunction because it will be felt the strongest. North Node contacts can feel extremely significant, it does create the feeling of 'we were meant to meet/soulmates', if one believes in these concepts ofc. The planet person usually is seen as very valuable/mentor like for the NN person.
-> now, here is where it gets spicier! This is the natal chart of the connection itself, and how this connection will feel to you/the other one specifically on the long term can be answered by looking at the individual birth charts of you two (again)
-> for example: next to repetitive themes/patterns in your own birth chart, you can look at the overall relationship indicators in your chart (Venus, Jupiter, 7th house, 5th house) and see how these energies are represented in the composite. Example: If you have Aries in the 7th house, with Saturn being in it too, and your Neptune and Uranus are in Capricorn in the 5th house , generally speaking a composite with stronger Aries/Capricorn energy in it, or having a relatively strong influence of Saturn/Mars and moderate + good (the combination of these two adjectives is important here lol) influence of Uranus/Neptune can feel especially nice to you in a long term connection.
-> But it doesn't even have to be that complicated. Take your personal planets + Rising sign as the basic component here, I'll give you a personal example of my chart:
I'm a Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Virgo Rising, Cancer Mercury, Libra Mars and Leo Venus. The strongest connections I have are evident of having these signs strongly represented in personal planets or the Ascendant/Descendant in the composite chart. I also have very strong Saturn, Mercury, Neptune and Uranus influence in my natal chart, so whenever there are significant aspects of these four planets (or the zodiac signs they rule) it feels familiar and welcoming to me in composite.
That doesn't mean overly negative aspects of Neptune, Uranus and Saturn in composite won't feel bad for me lol, just that it's a theme/pattern that I can work with well
-> Caution: You can subconsciously seek out partnerships/connections that have the same negative aspects/themes representative in composite/synastry as you have in your natal chart . If you want to 'prevent' anything, look at any possible repetitive themes.
There are definitely certain thumb-rule answers we can look at when it comes to synastry/composite, but I highly advice everyone to analyze their natal chart thoroughly (and the one of your partner(s) too), in order to see where you add your own individual flavor and needs to it! And tbf, I also think the way you are socialized (for example gender roles and gender expectation) plays a huge role in synastry/composite as well, so keep that in mind too.
Credit! text: plutoswrath, 2022. Please don’t copy/rewrite my work, ty! dividers: silkholland on tumblr.
