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"Whatever happened to [thing that still exists and is easy to find if you take literally just a few seconds to look/search for it]"

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@justasackofwaterbears my dash is being filled with tomadachi life deltarune and i blame you
So, my new roommate moved in and Iām already annoyed. But I guess we bonded over the fact that my boss sucks? Well...actually, I just complained about my boss to the roommate and he was like, āWhaaaat? Can you say that about your boss?ā To which I was like,Ā āI can say whatever the hell Iād like about that stupid man.ā
My Thoughts For This Week
Intro (warning, this is a rant, sorry if this pisses anyone off)Ā
Hey people, I know you would expect artwork but I promise that wonāt be until Friday and I have something lined out that I will be able to get done in the next couple of days. I just want to vent about some things and how things have been in the life of a simple retail worker...Ā
I understand that everyone is freaking out about the coronavirus a.k.a. COVID-19... but honestly I see no concern, maybe for the elderly, but for the people my age and the people younger and a little older than me shouldnāt be as worried as they have been...Ā
Financial Strain
Being a retail employee, I havenāt been making enough money (hence why Iāve been trying to sell artwork online A LOT recently). And basically I have been completely broke this past week and a half and being someone who works at the front end of the store, I have seen all of the supplies and food leave the store. I go in every day to check if thereās going to be anymore supplies for when I get paid and so far it is inevitable to say that I will most likely not be able to stock up as well as all these paranoid freaks who bought out all the toilet paper...Ā
Yeah Iām leading into the wholeĀ āitās the end of the world, so letās all buy toilet paperā thing... Itās fricking stupid for one thing and itās causing a lot of problems for me and the people who actually need supplies; like baby wipes and formula. Iām at the point now that if there continues to be a shortage of toilet paper Iām going to be using napkins I have laying around the apartment from the various fast food places Iāve been to in the last few months.Ā
The Media Blew It Way Up
Iām sure everyone my age (18-30) agree that the media has scared the living heck out of people about this stupid virus. Sure it spreads easily, so what? Let people ride it out! Itās proven to be more lethal to people above the age of 50. So what are we doing about it? Theyāve already began closing stores early and closing some businesses down to prevent people from hanging around each other here in Colorado. It freaks me out knowing I havenāt had the chance to buy a damn thing before all this started, Iām going to be shit out of luck when everything does close... I wasnāt scared of any of this until the media brought up what they were about to do toĀ āprevent the spread of the virusā because itās panicked everybody around me... I hope that when the warmer weather starts up this will all be over because this is ridiculous.Ā
Conclusion
Anyway, sorry for my rant, I just felt like I needed to get some of it out... I do hope everyone is staying healthy, keeping away from the sick, and washing your hands. Itās no fun to be sick, but even though everyoneās panicked and the media is scaring you, just know that the flu in general has killed a whole lot more people, children included. Coronavirus is only life threatening to the elderly. So even if you do catch it, just ride it out, itās not the end of the world. I believe in all of you. Stay Safe,Ā
RaveMajestic
My Problem with a āDarker Shade of Magicā by V.E. Schwab
So Iāve been meaning to talk about V. E. Schwabās A Darker Shade of Magic. I know itās got plenty of love behind it and its got its fair share of fans but I canāt for the life of me love this book and yes I mean only the first book because thatās as far as I read in the series. I have a similar relationship to this as I do Children of Blood by Tomi Adeyemi in that I completely understand why people like it, I just donāt.Ā
Iām also going to give a trigger warning that I will be talking about sexual assault, violence, and general gore so if that makes you uncomfortable give this a skip. Iāll give a trigger warning again when Iām about to speak in-depth on the previously mentioned subjects. I will also warn you when Iām about to head into spoiler territory, though I wonāt be going into particularly big spoilers.
Summary
For those of you that donāt know, A darker shade of Magic is the first book in the Darker Shade of Magic trilogy by V. E. Schwab. Itās about three separate Londons, Red, White, and Grey. Red is the London with lots of magic, itās the pretty and bougie London. White is a cesspit of violence with very little magic forcing its inhabitants to cling onto any magic they can for dear life. Their leaders are cruel and it's not uncommon for them to be usurped. Generally to get ahead in White London you need to be vile. And Grey London is our world's London roughly around the 1800s, since King George III is alive but very old and dying. So the conflict is about Black London, the fourth London that was cut off from the others because their magic consumed the people and the land. Kell an antari, a super magical person, is able to travel through the three londons and he ends up getting caught up in some big conspiracies and power grabs. Interesting premise right? I agree but the execution ehhh. Ok, letās start first with the pros of the book.
Style
Her style isnāt anything too extravagant. But that doesnāt mean that itās bad. Itās nowhere near bad. Sheās got quite a few descriptions that really draw you in. Her opening lines are damn near perfect. āKell wore a very peculiar coat, It had neither one side, which would be conventional, nor two which would be unexpected, but several, which was, of course, impossibleā [pg 11]. It doesnāt reveal much but it sort of tosses this thread out there for you to follow into the larger narrative. Itās got almost a rhyming quality to it, a rhythm that you can feel yourself saying as you recite the lines aloud. It gives you just enough to keep you invested but not enough to reveal anything of importance. All of the writing in this book has a similar draw to it, itās simple and intricate all at once and itās very precise in what itās trying to say. When Schwab describes something in the narrative, you can imagine it very clearly. Just listen to how she describes the marketplace. "The subtle scent of flowers was lot beneath the aroma of cooking meat and freshly cut fruit, heavy spices and mulled wine. A man in dark robes offered candied plums beside a woman selling scrying stones. A vendor poured steaming tea into short glass goblets across from another vibrant stall displaying masks and a third offering tiny vials of water drawn from the Isle, the contents still glowing faintly with its light..." [pg 45 and 46]. Overall Schwab knows her craft and itās clear that sheās confident in her writing because she should be, sheās got the technical and stylistic aspect down to a tee.
Setting
The setting is amazing, but and there is a big but which includes minor spoilers so run away now if you want to read this book. I will say that itās a good book, itās just not a good book to me. If youāre into other world fantasies and cross-dimensional travel youāll probably like this. Iām into that too but the problem is that this book has a lot of missed potential for me. So if the previously mentioned description sounds interesting or if the summary I gave sounds interesting to you, leave, go read the book and come back. If it doesnāt sound interesting or you donāt care about spoilers then I guess stick around if you want.
So the premise is amazing. These three different Londons that all exist in different dimensions that only a select few, two people to be exact, can travel to are vastly different from one another. Their landscapes, their people, their overall geography, itās all completely different, the only overlapping aspects that they all have are their names and the two travelers that can move about their kingdoms, those two being Kell, one of our main characters and Holland, one of our main antagonists.
I think Red London is overall well done, Schwab captures it perfectly. A land of flowers and joy with obvious problems and tensions but out of the three Londonās is clearly portrayed as the best. So Iāve got no qualms with that.
What I found upsetting though was White London and Grey London. For White London, it was this hellscape of a city that had so much room to be this horrible torturous place and Schwab touches on it, she grazes the surface of it ever so slightly but she never manages to hit the mark completely. When you tell me White London is a grimy and gross place filled with power-hungry bastards and bitches whatās to stop me from going āwell isnāt that just normal London aka Grey London but with magic?ā I needed more of White London, I needed more of that seedy underbelly to better contrast with Grey London. With Grey London, we see the horrors of the land through the character of Lila Bard who has a difficult life, who needs to survive on her own in this terrible place, no offense London. I think the best way to have fixed this was to have more focus on Holland, the character that was from White London. If we were to have three POVs from Holland, Kell, and Lila, instead of just Lila and Kell, this problem could be solved. It would convolute the story because of the twist about Holland and his involvement in trying to help the twin rulers of White London take over Red London but I feel like thatās an ok thing to lose in order to gain a better understanding of White London and have a more fleshed out narrative of all three kingdoms.
Characters
I hate these characters. Ok, thatās kind of a strong word, I donāt hate them. I donāt hate all of them at least. And I know plenty of people love and adore these characters, Iāve seen the artwork and the time and effort people put into these characters and itās all amazing but I just do not get the hype. I didnāt like them.
See, my thing is that I hate characters that donāt reach, what I see as their true potential. Which is just a roundabout way of saying that I hate characters that are boring. I mean I can enjoy a badly written character as much as the next person but the thing is that a boring character is not enjoyable for anyone, especially when you see threads of a character and know that they can be something more. Now I havenāt read either of the other two books so maybe the characters are different there, I donāt know. All I know is that I either found the characters to be boring, cliche, or just annoying.
The first character to make this most egregious mistake on the part of being boring, would be none other than Kell. So Kell is the adopted Prince, the older brother of Rhy. He was taken away from his family at a young age and brought up in the palace because he was an Antari, which again is a super magical person that can travel through the different Londons and is an expert in various other types of magic, natural or otherwise. So Kell loves his brother and he has issues with his adoptive parents because he feels that they see him only as a tool. Now, this is good, this has potential. The problem here is that we never see moments of the King and Queen treating Kell badly and they donāt even need to necessarily treat him badly they just need to drop hints of how they clearly favor Rhy. And I didnāt see those hints. As far as I could tell, both boys were treated relatively equal, Kell had a lot more work on his plate but that was because heās an Antari, heās the only Antari. To really drive home that feeling of isolation and of Rhy being his only real family among the royals there needs to be more memories of their childhood where the King and Queen picked Rhy over Kell and it was because of them seeing Rhy as their real son and Kell as more of a soldier. There is also the issue of Lila just dismissing these feelings that Kell has about his family not loving him but weāll get to that in a bit. All that aside, Kell just isnāt interesting. You could replace him with a cardboard cutout and I wouldnāt know the difference. Heās just not an engaging character, heās got the threads of an engaging character but he himself is not one. Whenever I was back to his POV I didnāt know whether to groan out of boredom or to just be glad we werenāt in Lilaās head. I decided to go with the former because Lila is fun to hate, Kell is bread, heās not even toast, heās bread, soggy bread. Ok, thatās enough.
Now Lila, Oh Lila. How I despise thee. I get what Schwab was going for with this character. She was the badass cross-dressing thief lady that could cut you down. Lila is an orphan that had to fend for herself after her father basically tried to sell her off. Sheās got a good introduction and it bleeds into some good first few chapters. Now warning Iām about to talk about sexual assault and just general violence so skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to read that. In one of the earlier chapters, Lila comes home, her home being a docked ship that she stays at. The ship is owned by an older man who she basically pays rent to. When she gets back, the guy, Powell, asks for his cut. Heās drunk out of his mind which is also not unusual for this character. When she says she doesnāt have anything to give him today, he responds by saying he can take something else from her, clearly implying sexual favors. So she straight up fucking murders Powell "Dead. Dead... and making a mess... She crouched, wiped her blade on Powell's shirt, and recovered the silver from his pocket. And then she stepped over his body, retrieved the revolver from its drawer, and got dressed" [pg 69]. And then to cover her tracks, she sets his boat on fire and dips. "Lila stood on the dock and watched the Sea King burn. She stared up at it, face warmed by the fire that danced on her chin and cheeks the way the lamp light had before the constable.'It's a shame,ā she thought. She'd rather liked the rotting ship. But it wasn't hers. No, hers would be much better" [pg 70]. Come on, tell me thatās not a great anti-hero introduction? Because it is.
That being said, the more time I, as a reader spent with Lila, the more I realized I hate her. I mean at least I felt something towards her, unlike Kell. So the first problem with Lila is that she is the epitome of āIām not like other girlsā Every chance she gets to put down anything girly or to put down other women she takes. Or, she just jumps at the chance of being called not like other girls. Which Kell often obliges in. And, this would be ok if it was criticized within the story, if it was properly examined why she feels this way, because there could be a lot of reasons, one of which could be that she realized behaving in a more aggressive or traditionally masculine way allowed her to have autonomy and allowed people to not talk down to her but to be afraid of her. There are a lot of ways in which this could go but it didnāt. And thereās nothing wrong with liking more traditionally masculine things, the problem is the way in which Lila clearly needs to put other women down in order to feel special about herself. I also mentioned earlier about my issue with how Lila undermines Kellās feelings of his adoptive parents never really loving him and seeing him only as a tool. Again, this could have been played up a little more and Kell could have properly called her out instead of just being the meek bread he is and letting her essentially tell him that his emotional struggle doesnāt matter cause heās rich. I get where Lila is coming from in this scenario and I do like that she treats him like that in terms of his emotions because itās very telling of her own upbringing. The problem is that she very clearly makes it about herself and her problems. This could have worked better if she simply dismissed his feelings, got angry at him for basically swimming in cash, and then stopped there. We should have gotten an insight into her thoughts of why she feels this way or have it implied why she feels this way, rather than have her outright say it, because in this case, when she voices that and shifts everything back to herself it feels very purposeful and mean on her end rather than it just being her natural reaction. Instead of going āoh my life was terrible and way worse than yoursā it would work better if she just called him a brat, told him to shut up, and then moved about her own business. That could also add a more interesting dynamic to these characters by having Kell be the emotional one and Lila be the one who Kell has to urge out of her shell by being the emotional support. It would be a role reversal of the traditional way most romances go, and again, I think Schwab was trying to do that, but the execution of it fell flat. My final gripe with this character is that she isnāt feral enough, and if Schwab had just made her more feral, this character would fit in perfectly. What I mean by feral is, exactly that honestly. She was too put together, too suave and cool and always knew what to say. If youāre gonna tell me this street urchin type orphan in 1800s London is cool and suave Iām gonna call bullshit cause no way this girl isnāt straight up feral and ready to bite someoneās nose off at the drop of a hat because thatās what sheās gotta do to survive. I just wish Schwab had gone down this route instead of the Lila we got, but oh well. It is what it is.
Iām only briefly going to talk about Rhy, Kellās younger brother, because there isnāt too much I have to say about him and I feel like this is already long enough as is. Rhy is basically a cut and dry trope of the rich prince boy with a heart of gold. I love that archetype so I like Rhy, but to an extent. He seems to be only that trope and thatās it. There isnāt much more to him. Though heās not as boring as Kell or as annoying as Lila so thatās a plus. I havenāt even talked about the twins that rule White London or Holland but again this is already too long, donāt need to make it longer and they also involve a lot of major spoilers that I don't want to get into.
Pacing
I know earlier that I said Schwabās style of writing was very well done, that she clearly had a kind of rhythm for the writing itself, and I stand by that statement but the pacing is not good. Itās all over the place, itās either too slow or too fast or just nonexistent. Iām going to use romance as an example of how the pacing is bad and I think you can tell that with a lot of books. If they have romance in them, which if weāre being real, they probably do, then the way in which the romance plays out can often be a good indicator of pace. The relationship is wonky so the pacing is wonky. To be honest, the relationship was something I didnāt buy. It went by too fast and when Lila kissed him it felt very robotic like they were just getting together because they were the breeding pair. They had no chemistry whatsoever even as friends. As friends, they were at least somewhat more tolerable, but like romantic partners, I just didnāt see it. The stilted romance was awkward and dumb and again, there was no chemistry, they were just shoved together because they were the only guy and girl and both had a POV. Ā I donāt know the overall pacing was slow, and I donāt mind slow build-up books. One of my favorites, Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor is a very slow build-up book but itās well done, it doesnāt drag. This book drags and the romance in it drags. When the pace picks up itās like going a thousand miles an hour. When shit hit the fan in the book, I get that it was supposed to be fast-paced and tense but I was never tense while reading it I just kind of wanted the whole book to end so I didnāt have to keep slogging through it. I guess I just hoped that the ending would tie it all together and fix the pacing which is stupid on my part because thatās not at all what happened.
Conclusion
Well, thatās all I gotta say about it, I gave it three stars on GoodReads.
Buy the book here:
https://www.amazon.com/Darker-Shade-Magic-Novel-Shades-ebook/dp/B00ME0TBFE
Buy it Used here:
https://www.abebooks.com/Darker-Shade-Magic-Schwab-Victoria-Titan/30413099967/bd?cm_mmc=ggl-_-US_Shopp_Trade-_-used-_-naa&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4NTxBRDxARIsAHyp6gDRNRjl8x-ktniE3IUmecyE1lDYlPxglxoLpBAYEt7C3ivyt9PPabkaAmTGEALw_wcB
or hereĀ
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/a-darker-shade-of-magic_victoria-schwab/9043358/item/16041243/?mkwid=MUQmUYQc%7cdc&pcrid=70112856192&product=16041243&plc=&pgrid=18035380632&ptaid=aud-305373123344%3apla-459905910383&utm_source=google_shopping&utm_content=MUQmUYQc%7cdc%7cpcrid%7c70112856192%7cpkw%7c%7cpmt%7c%7cproduct%7c16041243%7cslid%7c%7cpgrid%7c18035380632%7cptaid%7caud-305373123344%3apla-459905910383%7c&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4NTxBRDxARIsAHyp6gDXbz2350Y8Tse02z5fKP_TgnPIH1DXhILOWkgk260VeZzQwUCgXbEaAsH5EALw_wcB#isbn=0765376466&idiq=16041243
Or just get it at your local library.

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Thereās not enough logince in the world
I hate when a nap turns out bad. Like, now a chunk of my day is gone and I feel worse, not better.
In my head I visiualize me, my perfect self, as this light, etherial, flowy dressed, soft-spoken, metallic gold and silver, walk-on-air goddess; but my outward appearance and manners are most akin to a sleep-deprived goblin, who either mutters with a gravel voice or screams like a banchee.
No really I legit hiss at ppl send help how do I radiate light and not scare children????