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"I just...I know how wrong this could go for him. I've been down that path. Once you're in that place, you just...hate yourself so much that...you can't imagine how anyone else could ever not hate you. It's the loneliest thing, Sharon. And for a kid...oh God...I just wanted to save him from that."
- Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier: Second Chances #5
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Guilt
“I suppose, but the medic.. could've done better”
Tumbler cooked the quality :(
Version without words below
WOO, BlackPettal angst🔥
Ehehe :’) (how the break up could’ve went
the tale of the forget-me-not and the nightshade
I'll just leave this here
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*deviously cackles*
I felt like drawing angst so I did huehue Shattered belongs to @drawingerror
For those of you following my rollercoaster of emotional conflict, loss, and embittering, I think another lesson I’m picking up is that idols don’t have to be people.
When I thought who I’ve soul-crushingly conceded is probably a pretentious hack was actually a pithy aloof surrealist with just the right level of reverence and lack of reverence for every major religion and concept to create philosophically interesting banal humor, he was my idol. I created that ideal image, though, and it’s still something I can strive to acquire the positive qualities of for myself. It’s still kind of frightening trying to model myself off of projections and extrapolations, but the important thing to remember is that an idol isn’t a destination, merely a framework.
So maybe Tatsuya Ishida is actually a weird egotist, maybe some relationship crippled who he used to be and his whole means of expression got hijacked by some maddened pursuit, and maybe he’s always sucked, rather than being someone who lost his way (no moral bonus, I find his reasoning faulty as well as his comedy now). It hurts, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll just have to be the one who possesses what I saw in him.
