"I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true."

“There is room for absurdity, philosophy, vulgarity, anodyne observation, and more in comedy. Comics are not supposed to provoke, but sometimes they do. Stand-up is not supposed to reveal an ugly truth, but sometimes it can. Comedy is not supposed to speak truth to power, but sometimes it does. Comedy is only supposed to be funny. Funny is, of course, subjective, but the goal itself is objective.”

I can't express how much I love Monty Python. It's literally insane.

“All of us who have experienced regret that contains real pain and real grief understand that humor and even black humor plays a crucial role in helping us survive. It connects the poles of our lives back together, the positive & and the negative and it sends a little current of life back into us.”

That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.

Richard, you know I love my family but that's no reason why I should have to acknowledge them in broad daylight