Tech Support. For Comcast. It’s as bad as you think it was. Lemmie tell ya a story.

The year was 2011. I’m at the call centre, working away, doing my best and getting chewed out because I often helped people beyond what was required (driver issues and shit, instead of just following our LOQ. If you have someone who refuses to leave their script, they probably got written up for doing so just FYI. )

Anyway,

Buddy calls in, and right off the bat he comes in swinging. Rawr rawr rawr, my internet isn’t working, fix this now, you guys suck. like, dude, I don’t disagree with you, but I have literally no control over the company I’m a fuckin’ cog. Whatever. I go into his account to check his system/devices/account, and I see the modem is fully offline. That’s actually good, because it means it’ll be super easy to fix: either the damn thing is busted (needs a tech) or it’s out of power. So, I ask buddy to unplug the device from the outlet, wait a second, and plug it back in again. I didn’t ask this because I thought resetting it would fix it, I asked him to do this because peeps get pissy if you ask them if their stuff is plugged in.

Foreshadowing.

Anyway, he grumbles and complains, and does the thing. Nothing. OK. There’s one more thing I can check. I ask him if the modem is plugged into the wall, or a power bar.

“It’s plugged into a power bar.”

“Ah.” I say, “Ok. Can I get you to plug it directly into the wall?”

“Why the Fuck do I have to do that?”

Now, the answer we give is “well, that’s because sometimes the modem and the power bar don’t work well together, and it’s just easier to check it if it’s plugged into the wall.”

This is bullshit. The truth is that we don’t know where you got this power bar. We don’t know how old it is. We don’t know if you got this shit rigged up like the dad in “A Christmas Story” with three dozen things plugged into a set power bars all plugged in and twisted like some chthonic electro beast. I mean, sure, that SOUNDS hot, but it’s not useful when trying to do troubleshooting and figure out if your power bar sucks and is broken.

This guy *loses his shit* at me. Rawr rawr rawr, every time I call you got me running around doing all this shit, blah blah blah, No, I can’t unplug it, there’s no other outlets in the room.

Now I pause, the gears in my brain quickly clicking together. “There’s… no outlets in that room?”

“No, there’s not! Not any!”

Ok, well, ASIDE from that being absolutely not to electrical codes for modern houses, it also raises a new question.

“Sir… what’s your powerbar plugged into?”

“It’s plugged into a powerbar!”

“…. The same powerbar?”

There’s a moment of stunned silence, followed by a *Click*. I pause my line for a minute so I don’t get any more incoming calls while I take my notes, but really I’m watching this account. I refresh a few times, and after a minute or so, the modem is MAGICALLY ONLINE

This dude. This chaotic dumbass had his modem plugged into a powerbar, which was plugged into ITSELF. Like, I know there’s that meme flying around that shows that, and it’s supposed to be a joke on how stupid people can be, an exaggeration of sorts… But I swear, this is NOT an exaggeration. This shit actually happened.

So, the moral of the story: If you’re on the line with Tech Support, and they ask you to just “Check the wires” or “Make sure the device is plugged in firmly.” Just do the thing. We’ve dealt with a lot of dumbasses in our time.

Yo everyone go here and post your results and general area if you’re comfortable, also whether or not you live in an area with an internet monopoly.

You know people call you "ComCrap" for a reason, right? It's been a week. One full fucking week with spotty, inconsistant, and unreliable internet that has caused me to lose one full week's worth of pay because I work from home. It almost cost me an interview for a new job. Thankfully, it was working just well enough for those 2 hours that I secured the job.

But now, I've done innumberable reboots, several resets, and two complete restart and re-connects of my modem to the Comcrap's internet connection. I've had a tech replace my modem and attempt to fix the wiring in my building, yet nothing worked.

It is now Sunday, I have spotty internet again, and I have to work tomorrow on a Holiday. But I can't if my internet doesn't get fixed. So that's a full 8 hours of double time and a half pay that I will be missing out because you don't have techs working on Sundays or Holidays.

Tell me, Comcrap. What am I supposed to do? I've attempted to go through every normal channel to get this resolved, and when I finally got transferred to a manager, they hung up on me before answering the phone.

The Fall of Comcrap and Ratrace

part 1

A monopoly story. Greed rules this world with an iron fist. This level of ego has not been seen since the railroad wars of the 19th century. Comcrap is on the decline. They are not able to sell manure to people as in the past. A stagnant beast on its last legs trying to steal the cheese from Ratrace. A pathetic corporation on the verge of dominant control of multiple industries. They just wanted to regain what is rightfully their product. Mountains of ratshit for all to enjoy.

The Fall of Comcrap and Ratrace

part 2

The tale of Fux. An angry network taken for a ride by anyone with golden dreams. Fux seemed to enjoy golden showers from its suitors. In other news, ATIT just won its battle with the Department of Visually Impaired Justice. ATIT poured milk all over the greedy judge. He enjoyed it so much he ruled that ATIT had the right to sodomize customers. ATIT can absorb TWDC without any lubricants to facilitate the merger. The judge added, “This merger should be a shining example of what a monopoly looks like on the world stage, but ATIT convinced me with giant donations their way is the future.”

Civil Rights groups oppose Comcast trying to beat civil rights law that goes all the way back to 1866

Byron Allen – Chris Carlson/AP

❝ A coalition of civil rights organizations this week accused Comcast of undermining Reconstruction-era protections against racial discrimination, weighing in on a lawsuit against the company that is now before the U.S. Supreme Court.

Comedian and media mogul Byron Allen is suing the cable television provider for $20 billion under an 1866 law ensuring newly freed…

As Comcast deal fails, broadband monopolies remain

Critics of the Comcast-Time Warner Cable deal made convincing arguments that it would be bad for consumers, and for the media companies that want to deliver stuff to consumers on the Internet…Astonishingly, Washington listened.

But in the end, killing the Comcast* deal just maintains the status quo. And when it comes to broadband Internet in the U.S., the status quo is pretty lousy: Most people…

Uncle Sugar continues to fall behind in affordable broadband

America’s slow and expensive Internet is more than just an annoyance for people trying to watch “Happy Gilmore” on Netflix. Largely a consequence of monopoly providers, the sluggish service could have long-term economic consequences for American competitiveness.

Downloading a high-definition movie takes about seven seconds in Seoul, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Zurich, Bucharest and Paris, and people pay…