#ratrace

sheenacheeb

ⓟⓡⓞⓜⓞ ⓟⓞⓢⓣ 🐀🏁🔥

sinclair • 29 • he/they (it prns also ok but only if we're mutuals)

ratrace kin looking for others from my canon esp my randy ❤️

I have been having some really weird and existential thoughts this week. I woke up this Monday and I was like.... what is the whole point of this weird ass life that we’re all living in? We wake up, work work work (Monday to Friday, 9-5), we go back to sleep, praying for our two days of stressful resting to come soon. All this just to make enough money to survive. Isn’t it odd AF? I feel stuck in the rat race of this thing we call life. 

I’ve never had such a big feeling of just pointlessness, boredom, routine, uselessness. I keep reminding myself this quote I love in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “life’s not a song, life isn’t bliss, life is just this, it’s living” and try to find my little pockets of bliss in my daily life, but there’s days when it doesn’t quite feel like enough. 

I don’t feel a need for earth shattering change, or to be relevant at a large scale, those things don’t interest me. I just want space, time (and perhaps most importantly, RESOURCES) to do things for me. I want a small garden, maybe some goats, is that too much to ask for? Maybe I was born too much of a city girl, I just don’t know where to find the change of pace that I want, that inner peace that I seek.