cuddle hcs w/ my fave cod men (୨୧ᵕ̤ᴗᵕ̤)
(also ranked from best to “worst” cuddler)
best cuddler around:
ok now hear me out, i think nikto and velikan would be tied for best cuddler.
they don’t move at all, whatever position you want to cuddle in will be the way they stay all night. (unless you want to change cuddle positions, then they might grumble the tiniest bit before moving.
their bodies are also very warm and sturdy, perfect to be held and perfect to hold you as well.
nikto’s favorite cuddle position is when you’re facing each other, your head resting on his bicep and chest to chest, legs intertwined. they like holding you close, like a teddy bear, it makes them feel grounded; assured that you’re real and you’re there with them.
he’s so warm that you could forgo a blanket entirely, warmed only by his body heat but nikto won’t allow it. constantly pulling the covers up to your chin, fussing quietly over you. just let them take care of you, ok?
velikan’s favorite cuddle position is whatever your favorite is. although he’s slightly partial to you laying entirely on top of him like he’s the bed. don’t worry, he can handle it. in fact, it’s like a weighted blanket, it grounds his mind and his body and it lets him relax, knowing you’re so close to him, basically face to face.
he’s also built like a heater too, so it’s like lying on a warm electric bed or something, except it’s holding you tightly too. he’s also another one that makes sure you’re under the blankets, your chest may be warm but your back is getting cold, honey.
(if it wasn’t a huge hassle he’d let you spin around on top of him like a rotisserie chicken to make sure all of you is warmed up, but alas.)
second best cuddler is… roach!
his new call sign should be cuddlebug instead of roach with how much you two cuddle. he’s down to cuddle, wherever, whenever. he’s perfectly warm and soft to hold, like your personal teddy bear, and you’re his.
loves any positions that’s face to face, laying down is fine and you sitting in his lap or his in yours is great too. he just wants to be able to see your cute face grow sleepier and sleepier until eventually you two fall asleep in each others arms.
cuddles are always filled with little giggles, small and lighthearted jokes between you two, gentle nose boops and squeezing each other in tight hugs. they’re tooth achingly sweet and you’re always told to “get a room!” if anyone catches you two cuddling on base.
next best cuddler is keegan!
another one that’s always down to cuddle but in a more, casual, manner than roach. will see you standing or sitting somewhere and he’ll rock up behind you to gently pull you into his chest and arms. he’s very observant and in tune with you (thanks to his sniping skills) so he knows when you’re feeling down, don’t even try to hide it, sugar.
so he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his arms, gently swaying with you if you’re standing, and squeezing you if you’re laying. he doesn’t say much, just allows the both of you to relax in each other’s company in silence. (he doesn’t move at all either, sniper skills coming in clutch again.)
that’s why his favorite position is being the big spoon. it’s simple, it’s easy and it lets him hold you tightly, what’s not to love? his body and yours fits together like two puzzle pieces, meant to be together, like this.
ghost is almost tied with keegan, but keegan is slightly better
simon is like keegan in which he’s very observant and in tune with you but it’s harder for him to jump over the hurdle of intimacy. he wants to comfort and hold you, but he gets inside of his head sometimes, and it physically locks up his body.
most days he triumphs over the hurdle, and other days he falls flat on his face over it. but those days he’s able to hold you are some of the best, he pulls you close into his chest, rubbing a large palm up and down your back. he knows you like the low gravelly tone of his voice and the way his chest rumbles and so he yaps, just for you, about anything and everything (except for work).
but other days, he’s unable to comfort you unless you come to him first or johnny gives him a shove towards you (quite literally actually), and he’s suddenly able to move again. quickly wrapping his arms around you, squeezing tightly as if you’d slip away, ephemeral.
as stated before, his fave position is you tucked closely to his chest, his arms wrapped around you, and legs intertwined too for good measure.
and right behind simon is johnny!
it’s not like he’s a bad cuddler necessarily it’s just that he moves a lot. (and he gets a little handsy with you too) if he’s not tired out already then you will be switching cuddling positions every 15 minutes, i’m sorry it’s just how it is with him. (his favorite position is holding you entirely on one arm while he walks around doing things lol)
he’s itching to move even just a little bit and so he’s always rolling over (with you in his arms too mind you). that’s why it’s best to cuddle him right after he comes back from deployment. he’s too tired to move at all, so he just lays there on the bed, basically boneless and you can cuddle up to him all you want without him moving.
if he falls asleep in post-deployment cuddles then you’re not moving until he wakes up again, that’s also just how it is with him. you’re gonna be trapped in his solid arms for a good few hours, and this time he’ll grumble when you try and move. hope you went to the bathroom before this because sorry bonnie, you’re not going anywhere.
krueger is tied with johnny tbh
he’s a man of two extremes when it comes to cuddling, either he’s unable to stop moving around or he’s cuddling you like a python. and you never know what mode he’s in that day until you’re in bed and cuddling with him.
on days he can’t stop moving, muscles restless, he’s dragging you around with him wherever he goes. it’s a common sight to see you perched on an arm or his back as he goes about his business. (no one ever dares mention it to him either, they’d like their sternum intact thank you very much)
he likes the feeling of your weight on him, a constant reminder that you’re safe, with him, and not to mention you’re so nice to hold. so soft and warm, perfect to hug..
and that’s when he shifts into python mode. running (yes running) back to your or his room, whichever is closer, and delicately laying you down on the bed. he then wraps himself around you, arms AND legs holding you against him, and no you can’t move. at all.
he will complain if you move around, just tell him that you need to get comfy and he’ll loosen just the tiniest bit, allowing you to turn around and face him instead before his limbs clamp down on you again.
he’s surprisingly… cold to the touch, and it always gives you a little shock to touch his skin (much to his amusement), it only makes him hold you closer. you’re his personal heater now, so quit moving schatzi and let him warm up (for a few hours.)
konig and oni are tied for… mediocre cuddlers..
they’re both very stiff cuddlers, it’s like cuddling a wooden plank.
konig is very, very not used to cuddling anybody. this is extremely unknown territory for him and so he just. doesn’t know what to do with his limbs. you practically have to maneuver his arms and legs to wrap around you, yourself. only then when you’ve settled into his arms it’s when he then relaxes. eases his arms around you, but he doesn’t hold you tightly, more akin to cupping a delicate flower in his hands, afraid to accidentally hurt you. if you want him to hold you tighter you’re gonna have to speak up or move him yourself.
that’s why konig likes being the little spoon better. he doesn’t have to be stiff in holding you, and it makes him feel good to be “small” sometimes. to be pampered and cared for, it’s something entirely unknown but it makes him happy, safe in your arms.
oni is also like konig in which he has never ever cuddled or been cuddled in his entire life. he hasn’t done anything romantic in his life actually, so this is all very new to him. the first few times you try and cuddle with him he’s really stiff. unsure where to put his arms and he’s just super tense underneath you. it’s better if you curl up into his side like a cat and wait for him to move to hold you.
he gets the hang of it quickly, liking it more than he thought he would. it’s nice, not to think about anything but you in his arms. focusing on the way your dreamy face twitches in sleep, your steady breaths, your consistent heartbeats, and it lulls him to sleep too.
he likes it, you curl up into him first and he follows suit, sleeping and cuddling face to face.
horangi… horangi is the worst cuddler, sorry
horangi cannot stay still to save his life. his muscles and mind are always itching to do something, anything.
you manage to get him on the bed and he’s already moving to do something, asking you if you needed anything while he’s up. if you really want to cuddle this man you can’t let up you’re gonna have to throw him on the bed and lay your entire body weight on him to make him stay, and even then that’s a struggle.
it’s better to come to a compromise between the two of you instead. he physically cannot lay down to cuddle but you want to be held and so he (just like johnny) holds you in one arm while he does things around base/home. holding you above his hip in one arm like a baby (you’re his baby) while he’s walking around. or hell, he doesn’t mind giving you a piggyback ride either, you get to hold him and he gets to do things, win-win!
