#chutzpar

Thorughout the years, if Stan celebrated Jewish holidays, he would do so with the remaining Pines family in Jersey, and later California after his parents passed away (exactly seven years after his brother disapeared).

However, he is a school teacher, where the days and holidays off are based off federal holidays, which are typically Christian, and the Gregorian calender, whereas Jewish holidays are dependant on the Hewbrew Calender. So if he went to visit his parents and/or Shermie, it would be during the years when the holiday breaks happened to overlap with the Jewish holidays.

Does that mean Stan didn't celebrate those holidays when he couldn't take those days off? Well, as it turns out he isn't the only Jewish person in Gravity Falls.

Although Stanley Pines is feared by almost all of the supernatural community of Gravity Falls who consider him The Devil, there is one who isn't afraid of Stan.

Because The Devil as it is seen in modern Christian mythology isn't a thing in Judaism.

Stan isn't entirely sure how a mythological creature living in the woods of Oregon outside of human society managed to either convert or be born into Orthodox Judaism, and at this point he is too afraid to ask.

As for Jerk Ford first holidays back home? For the first year post-Weirdmageddon, the elder Pines twins kept to themselves on their boat for the most part, but they did at least video call the rest of the family. Anomlies was the only claimed reason they went on their world voyage on the Stan O'War II, but one of the major reasons was actually for Stanford to properly process his thirty years of trauma in an environment where he was significantly less likely to cause harm to himself or others.

They did return to Gravity Falls for the following summer when the twins came back, who tried to throw them a surprise birthday party.

The Skull Fracture was the only bar in Gravity Falls. It was advertised as an extreme biker joint and it certainly lived up to that reputation. Mabel parked her motorcycle and headed up to the bouncer guarding the door. He glared down at her and she had to bite her tongue from laughing at his ridiculous “CHIN” and “HEAD” tattoos. She pulled out her ID, well one of them, and handed it over. He glanced at it and jerked his head to the door as he gave it back. “Don’t summon another gnome, kid. I still have the scar from before.” Apparently he remembered her from the time she let loose the gnomes on him when he worked for Gideon. At least he wasn't holding it against her.

Mabel slipped into the bar and surveyed the area. Everything looked pretty much the same from the first time she visited the bar as a child, except there was no Manly Dan destroying the game, Bicepticus. There was however, his daughter waving Mabel over to a table in the back corner. Mabel walked quickly to the older woman, expertly dodging a pair of fighting patrons.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Wendy said with a smile. She was already nursing a bottle and pushed over one that was opened but untouched. Wendy watched Mabel take a gulp, mildly surprised that the older Pines twin could without making a face. “Did anything interesting happen once I left the Mystery Shack?” Wendy asked, sipping her own beer. She had been in Skull Fracture for well over an hour now and she was glad she had the bartender clear away the three previous beers.

“Nah but Soos and I talked a bit more.” Mabel noticed how Wendy’s eyes were slightly more closed than usual and how the older woman had an ever pleasant smile on her face. She wondered how many beers Wendy already had. “He told me about you joining the police force and quickly rising through the ranks because,” she looked around to make sure there were no outsiders present at the bar. Finding none, she continued, “of your involvement with the magical creatures of Gravity Falls.”

Wendy showed her confusion and tightened her grip on her bottle on instinct. Realization dawned on her face and she loosened the bottle to wave away Mabel’s words. “Oh that? It’s not a big deal, really.” Wendy took a gulp from her bottle and frowned when only a little came out. She sighed and pushed the empty bottle away. “After all the weird stuff was exposed during Weirdmageddon, the magical folk didn’t want to stay in the forests anymore. I guess they figured if people already knew about them, then why not venture out?” Wendy rested an elbow on the table and then her chin in her palm so her vision of Mabel wouldn’t sway so much. “We obviously couldn’t let them roam free with all those tourists coming and going so we, or rather I, came up with a deal when I got onto the police force.” She turned her head so she was looking at the bar’s counter. “Hey! I want some sex on a beach!” Several of the bar’s attendees hooted at the words and Wendy rolled her eyes. It took Mabel a few moments and a blush later to realize the older woman was ordering the drink and not making a sexual request. Wendy looked back at Mabel, “Three, two, one.”

Just as she hit one, the doors leading into the kitchen slammed open and a Manotaur came walking out. He had to hold the drink up high and sidewalk through the little opening in the counter. The bar’s patrons didn’t react to the half-man, half-taur moving about, humming some tune. He set the drink down in front of Wendy. “Here you go, sheriff. It’s on the house, along with your other drinks.”

“Thank you, Chutzpar.” Wendy winked at Mabel and pointed to the charm hanging from the Manotaur’s neck. “See that?” Without asking permission, she reached over and grabbed the charm. Chutzpar didn’t seem to mind, he even leaned closer so the two women could better see the little trinket. It was made from ancient oak dyed red and carved into an eight-pointed star. “This is the alchemical symbol of life. Inside it, there is a small vial of the wearer’s blood. To anyone who doesn’t know Chutzpar’s a Manotaur, he would appear as an average, unremarkable human being.”

Chutzpar stood up straight and Wendy let go of the charm. He slammed a closed fist into his chest, careful not to crush his charm. “Even if I did look human, I look like the manliest man there is!” he declared. Wendy rolled her eyes again and grabbed her drink. Before she could take even a sip of it, Chutzpar laid a hand on her arm, covering it entirely. “Wait, I forgot the most important part!” He reached into the pocket of the apron he had tied around his waist. Chutzpar opened up a bright pink tiny umbrella and carefully set it into the drink. “There! Perfect!”  He turned around and headed back to the kitchen, taking orders from the other customers as he walked past.

“I got to hand it to him, he makes a killer sex on a beach,” Wendy said, plucking out the umbrella and holding it out to Mabel. The older Pines twin however just stood there with her mouth agape. Wendy frowned and poked her forehead. “Uh, you still there Mabel?”

Mabel came back to earth and shook her head, her eyes glued to the closed kitchen door. “Wha?”

Wendy chuckled and grabbed Mabel’s hand, turning it over and opening it. She placed the umbrella into her palm and settled back to her seat. “Cool, right? Gideon made them after a bus of tourists got flashed by something called the Hide Behind near the Mystery Shack. A kid got really freaked and started screaming it's the Slenderman or something, I don’t know. Either way, we had to erase their memories and Gideon made all of the magical creatures their own charm.” The sheriff shrugged like the entire incident wasn’t a big deal.

“Gideon!?” Mabel choked on her beer and Wendy gave her a few slaps on the back. The sheriff was a lot stronger than she looked, it felt as if she was being punched by Manly Dan. Mabel shook her head at another slap and caught her breath. “He made them?”

“Well yeah. I mean Mr. Ford helped but Gideon did all the carvings.” Wendy drank from her glass and looked down at it with a grimace. “Why did I even order this?” She looked at Mabel and a sly grin spread across her cheeks. She nodded to the beer Mabel was holding. “I’ll trade ya. I know how much you like girly things and this isn’t nearly as strong as those beers, I swear.”

Mabel cocked an eyebrow. “What, you think I can’t drink?” Wendy nodded, her smile becoming cocky mixed with a little mockery. Mabel looked over to the bar and slapped a hand against the table. “One mongolian motherfucker, please!”

“Whoah, Mabel wait,” Wendy immediately began protesting. “Don’t you know what’s in those?” She knew she might have been teasing the younger woman too much by suggesting she couldn’t drink but this was definitely not the right response. Mabel was going to end up even drunker than her if she gets that drink. And Mabel was supposed to be her ride home!

Mabel simply smirked at Wendy and tapped her fingertips on the wood. “Take back what you said about me not being able to drink and I’ll cancel it.”

Wendy didn’t even take the time to consider the proposition. “You can drink, okay! I mean, man can you drink. You finished that beer in like what, twenty minutes?” Mabel’s eyes narrowed and Wendy scrambled to say something else. “Not that that means you can’t hold your liquor! You just wanted to savor the taste, I get that more than anyone!”

But it was too late. Chutzpar had come out of the kitchen, looking as dubious as Wendy felt. He placed the drink in front of Mabel and cleared his throat. “Before you drink that, I’m going to have to ask for your keys.” Mabel handed them over without any complaint. He stuffed them in his pocket and walked back to the kitchen, telling people their food would be ready soon enough.

“Any last words?” Mabel asked, lifting the drink.

“Please don’t,” Wendy pleaded, doing her very best puppy dog face.

To her credit, Mabel hesitated for a moment but it ended with a smirk as she took a huge gulp from the glass. Wendy watched in stunned disbelief as Mabel gave a sound of appreciation and set the glass down, not grimacing or gagging as the fiery mixture went down her throat. “Not bad,” she praised.

Wendy blinked a few times, trying to connect this new Mabel to the one she first met thirteen years ago. “What’s gotten into you?”

Mabel shrugged and took a swig from her drink, much less this time Wendy noticed but still too much in her opinion. “When you go out and travel the world, you learn how to drink.”

The words seemed to have stolen some of the drunken happy atmosphere that was being created around the two. Wendy sheltered her meager sex on a beach in both of her hands, staring down at the fruity mixture. “It was really unexpected you know.” Wendy glanced away at where two men were singing a song about a woman stealing their heart and money at the top of their lungs at the bar. “It was like you were here and then poof! You left us.” She lifted her eyes to look at Mabel’s and the younger woman had no idea she could cause this much pain with her absence. “Can you at least tell me why?”

“I- uh,” Mabel bought herself some precious time by taking a long sip from her drink. Now the bubblegum flavor tasted like motor oil. “I wanted to go off on my own for a bit,” she said lamely. She wasn’t sure if she could tell Wendy the truth. The sheriff would have worried over her too much.

Wendy frowned at Mabel, seeing through the lie easily. “Without Dipper?” she pressed. “He’s your twin, you two went to literal hell and back. You defeated Bill together!” The way Mabel’s grip tightened on her drink made Wendy’s eyes soften with regret. “I’m sorry, I should have figured that it was a sore spot.” It was for her too in truth, after everything settled, it took months for her not to wake up screaming and sobbing and even longer for the nightmares to stop plaguing her on a regular basis. Mabel must have gotten a lot worse from that monster.

Mabel held up a hand of truce. “It’s okay. I shouldn't be like this now, it’s been more than a decade since that Bill fiasco.” She looked around her at the laughing and occasional fighting. “I should have moved on by now.” Mabel was jolted by the hard slap Wendy gave the table.

Wendy jabbed a finger at Mabel’s face. “That’s it. No more sad times.” She looked at the door where Chutzpar’s head was poking out. “Two rounds of tequila and keep them coming!”

The Manotaur disappeared for a quick second and came back, balancing a tray of fresh food and the two women’s liquor. With expert ease, he handed the food to the respective customers before standing in front of the two. He set two shots of tequila in front of Mabel and two more for Wendy. He held the tray under his arm and held out his hand. “Keys,” he said. Wendy placed her own into his palm and he walked back to the kitchen. “I’ll tell your friend to take over your shift.”

“You’re still on work!?” Mabel exclaimed.

The sheriff laughed and pointed an accusing finger at Mabel. “What did I say about not having more sad times?” She took her first shot and raised it in a salute. “Besides, nothing serious happens around here anymore. It’s totally fine if I get a little tipsy.”

Mabel wasn’t sure if she agreed with that logic but her hand already found its way to the shot. She saluted Wendy and they downed the drinks, foregoing the lemon and salt altogether.

The rest of the time at Skull Fracture was a blur. One shot turned into two, then three, then Mabel couldn't count anymore. All she knew was that Chutzpar cut them off sometime later and when Wendy threatened to arrest him for not letting her to continue to drink, he called a cab. Mabel didn’t like how calm the Manotaur was about dealing with a drunk Wendy. She did like however how Wendy slurred the words to the song she claimed to despise when they were younger. She especially liked how Wendy tried to grab her leg to chew at her uniform pants when she belched out the “Eat your pants” part. Now Mabel was staring up at a ceiling on some couch. It was so comfy and the pillows had cute robins sewn on them. She traced one and imagined it spread its wings so she would have more to touch. “So soft,” she murmured. A loud and rather carefree bout of laughter brought Mabel’s attention down to the floor. Wendy laid on her back, looking up at the older Pines twin. “Hey you,” Mabel called out, swinging down an arm to touch Wendy’s face.

The sheriff just laughed harder and batted the hand away. “You’ve changed a lot but you’re still a dork.” She reached up to pat at Mabel’s arm. “What do you do on your travels?” Wendy giggled at her choice of words.

“Stuff,” Mabel answered, rolling so she laid on her stomach to better see Wendy. She was half on the couch and half off but she couldn’t find herself to care.

“What kind of stuff?”

Mabel chewed her bottom lip and figured what the hell. “Hunting.” She saw Wendy’s eyes narrow in confusion. Mabel could have hunted in Gravity Falls. The younger woman laughed and slapped at Wendy’s arm. “Not like that! I mean I’ve been hunting bad things.” She knew it was dangerous to tell her friend of her adventures but it was like a floodgate was opened. She couldn't close her mouth, even as understanding and horror spread on Wendy’s features. “I’ve actually met a couple of hunters like me. They’re really nice, except for Jake. Jake’s a dick.” Mabel giggled and slapped a hand on her forehead, but missed and ended up hitting herself right in the middle of her face. She winced but shrugged off the sting. “Wait, that’s mean. But it’s true.”

Wendy sat up and rested a hand on Mabel’s arm, staring into the woman’s eyes. “You’re killing magical creatures?” she whispered like speaking too loud would alert said creatures of Mabel’s deeds.

Mabel didn’t like the look Wendy was giving her and it twisted her insides to see a tiny bit of fear in her eyes. She should be smiling. Wendy said it herself. No more sad times, damnit! “I’m only putting down the evil kind. The ones like Bill and his asshole buddies.”

“Oh,” was all Wendy could say to that. She licked her lips, suddenly parched. “Are you being safe?”

“As safe as I can be.” Which meant not safe at all but Wendy didn’t need to know that. She worried enough as it was in Mabel’s mind. She patted Wendy’s head as if she was a dog and giggled at the responding grimace and drunken glare. “I’ve already escaped death once or twice even before meeting Bill. I got this,” she said confidently. Her head fell back to the couch. She didn’t realize how comfortable it was until now. It was so soft and comfy. “Night night,” she yawned.