dizzy Cloud

Jax: I mean, you'd have to be going nuts to like an ai right?

EVEN MORE LILY (and hair study) older as you scroll down (these include the 4th 5th and 6th itterations)

whoever has ears, hear me out, I bring you DOOMED YURI

OKAY SO

shadow elf/witch (Nyx, the girly with long hair and long skirt) who lost her wife (Althea, the gal with a beanie that Nyx is thinking about) in a “ritual gone wrong” BUT it wasn’t just that. the relationship was toxic toxic, Nyx just doesn’t fully realize it because grief + 120 years of idealization have completely warped her memories

Althea was a light-magic elf/witch who stayed close to Nyx despite it actively harming her over time (shadow/light magic incompatibility situation), and Nyx saw that as the ultimate proof of love like “she endures pain just to be with me so i must give her EVERYTHING” meanwhile Althea was slowly trying to take/understand/absorb Nyx’s magic and pushing past boundaries under the guise of intimacy

Nyx let it happen cuz love = sacrifice, right?

Althea eventually dies because she pushes too far, can’t sustain herself anymore, and Nyx blames herself for it. stops using her magic almost entirely, at most levitation of teacups

fast forward: she meets a human girl (Bea, gorl w short hair and short skirt), psychology student in the last semester, a little ironic, a little flirty, very curious, who had an interest in mystical things when she was younger, like idk tarot, and is still somewhat drawn to it. who just so happens to vaguely resemble her dead wife (not identical, just enough to trigger something), they meet in a public restroom, it's kinda weird, but they end up hanging out

Nyx immediately latches on like "oh. i see. fate. you look like my dead wife, I like that in a woman."

Bea is like "centuries-old slightly unhinged witch widow with eerie vibes? yeah i’m listening"

so now we have:

Nyx who thinks love means giving everything, even if it hurts and Bea who’s like "hey maybe don’t do that actually"

Nyx casually oversharing deeply traumatic things mid-flirting because she has zero concept of appropriate emotional pacing

Bea quoting psychology like "this sounds like maladaptive attachment" and Nyx being like "who is this Freud you mentioned? we were not properly introduced."

Nyx being extremely formal and saying insane things like "i have considered physical intimacy with you" and Bea just "same. wanna talk more about this or put into practice?"

Nyx being INCREDIBLY touch-starved (120 years in a marriage where physical affection was dangerous and discouraged) and melting every time Bea initiates contact

also Nyx is like........… soft, eerie, very composed, she feels too intensely and overthinks too much (but not before saying the first thing that comes to mind) and speaks like she stepped out of a 200-year-old poem, btw she's 222 years old, which in my head would be like 29 in human years

and Bea is just casually calling her "babe" and watching her become scandalized and going through all the stages of embarrassment until she likes it

messy, a little unhealthy, a little hopeful, self-aware but ignoring many things just cuz they find each other pretty, lots of "I can fix her/I can make this work" energy

okay, I NEED to talk about Althea specifically cuz she is SUCH a problem and I love her for it

she was perfect, hard-working, clever, smooth talker, very put-together, she always seemed to be there, always willing to help, and never gave up.

and Nyx LOVED, deeply, devotedly, no-questions-asked, she idolized that woman

but the thing is

Althea loved Nyx, yes. but didn’t love in a normal way.

she saw Nyx, this absurdly powerful shadow witch who could literally level everything if she lost control but chooses not to, and she was like "I can work with this...... yeah, I can handle it...... it's possible."

and she did it slowly.

she framed proximity to Nyx’s magic as devotion, framed pain as proof of love, framed boundaries as rejection

so every time Nyx tried to pull back like "this is hurting you, thea :(" Althea would turn it into:

"why are you distancing yourself from me?"

"don't you trust me?"

"if you really loved me–"

and Nyx, who already leans toward giving and overextending, just folded into that

because from her perspective Althea was choosing to stay despite the pain, so Nyx had to be worth it, had to give more, be more, allow more

and Althea encouraged that, probably believed her own narrative

like, genuinely thought they were meant to share power and intimacy meant access and love justified the harm

and Nyx never questioned it

both of them are calling it love until it literally kills Althea

because she pushes too far, takes too much, can’t sustain herself anymore

and Nyx walks away from that thinking "I wasn't enough to keep her alive"

Althea doesn't exist in the present anymore, but she is EVERYWHERE in Nyx's head: in the way she talks about love, in the way she offers too much, in the way she doesn't know how to set limits

and now Bea has to deal with the ghost of a woman who hurt Nyx, shaped Nyx, and is still in Nyx’s mind

and she makes Nyx remember that woman (only by appearance but stilllll 💀💀💀💀

okay I'll shut up now BUT JUST FOR NOW!!!!!! I really wanna talk more about them, badly, and NEED to draw them, but I need to sleep

nyx and bea (current girlfriend

she has a type

THREE FUCKIN VERSIONS BECAUSE I'M UNSURE ABOUT WHICH IS THE UGLIEST

sorry he has no clothes cuz he's a deviant degenerate depraved and cuz I forgot he has clothes while I was drawing (I definitely have a memory problem and I didn't wanna see any references so there it is

i miss her

I don't wanna sound presumptuous, but I believe I predicted two things, and I only realized it now

1- naked jax with a variety of crazy colors in the background

2- kind of a hair bow? but the one I drew is green for some reason

i wanted to try traditional animation for a while and heres a cute little guy inspod by sonnyelim ; 3 and here are the seperate frames as well