#childless

How to stop feeling guilt over ending a bloodline or two by not having kids

There is no desire that I understand less than the desire to be a mother. I've tried to understand, but I can't. I don't understand how you can desire to be pregnant, to feel a human being grow up in your womb, making you throw up, making you unable to move like you want and kicking you. I don't understand how you can wish to spend your life taking care of a child, who needs you to be present all the time, who relies on you for everything. I don't understand how you can want something so stressful, exhausting, annoying, boring, who leaves you with no freedom and time for yourself. And don't tell me that if you do things well you can still have freedom and time for yourself and live a fulfilling life ; because no matter what you do, no matter how much your husband takes care of the kids too, no matter how much your friends and family help you, at the end of the day your life still revolves around the kids. Your life still aren't yours anymore. And I just can't understand how anyone can desire that.