#child issues

Also how a seemingly small, innocent situation that happened during my parenting classes fücks me up and makes me cry when I think back on it because of a few dark reasons that I don't want to get into right now-

Anyways...I made a huge, long, detailed post about it, but I deleted it at the last minute instead of pushing the publish button, because I feared that it would trigger horrific memories in people.

Long story short-

Me: I wonder why random kids find me so approachable and randomly come up to me as if I'm their friend to play games and stuff 😅

What I fear people think: Uhg, look at this bítch. She's pretending to not understand, but she's actually bragging about how great she is with kids.

What's actually going on:

ALMOST EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS, IT SENDS ME INTO A PANIC THAT I HAVE TO WORK HARD TO KEEP UNDER CONTROL AND I WISH I COULD GET RID OF WHATEVER ATTRACTS THEM TO ME SO I'D NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS AGAIN, BUT I FEAR THAT THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS MAKE MYSELF LOOK SCARY TO KIDS, BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SCARE KIDS OR MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE, I JUST WANT THEM TO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE UNLESS THEY NEED HELP WITH AN EMERGENCY OR SOMETHING- GOD, HELP ME!!

Heheh...

I cried while writing the post that I deleted. Hopefully this one is much more light hearted and maybe even a bit funny or something...

People after having to spend a lot of time with small kids: *Calls food and drinks 'num nums', sometimes even when they aren't around the kids just because they got so used to it*

So I'm basically just-

Me: Uhg, I'm hungry, I want num nums. Wait, why the fück did I just say that? Teddy (my almost 3 year old nephew) isn't even around right now.

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Great Book

"Toula is clearly very experienced in the area of helping young people with their problems. She has learnt a lot from the Indigenous culture about the value of using stories and pictures (images) to help our teenagers. This seems like a very useful and interesting way to deliver important information. Well done Toula!"

THE RUNAWAY GAME is a hypertext novel you can read on your computer. You are the main character. In chapter one, you run away from home. At key moments throughout the story, you make tough survival decisions young people on the streets face every day: Will I eat out of a dumpster? Will I rob somebody? Am I willing to sell my body to eat? At each turning point, you make a choice, click on it, and jump to a new chapter to see what happens next. Each decision brings a different experience, a new set of complications, and another decision a few pages away when the hunger pangs return. The choices you make determine how the story unfolds. There are more than 20 possible endings. When you reach the end of one story path and find yourself HIV-positive, or dead from an overdose, or shuffling the streets of skid row as an adult homeless addict, you can go back to the beginning and see what might have happened if you'd made different choices. That's a luxury kids who are on the streets for real don't have.

Built only with basic, static, and very simple HTML, this hypertext project uses a simple link tree aiming to raise awareness about the dangers of runaway children, including molestation, kidnapping, and other traumas of "life on the streets." Casey, the author of the game, claims, "My greatest hope, of course, is that after reading THE RUNAWAY GAME, a troubled young person who was considering running away will decide that it is not an option. If this book tells you anything, it's that the answers to a kid's problems are not found on the street."