#kid problems

thanks, babe. It’s actually been really really rough.

School: you sure about that? You've got a test next week

Me: but-

Chores: And dont forget about us! Youve been neglecting us all week!

Me: ok I-

Brain: what about that problem of yours? You sure you dont wanna stress about that some more?

Also how a seemingly small, innocent situation that happened during my parenting classes fücks me up and makes me cry when I think back on it because of a few dark reasons that I don't want to get into right now-

Anyways...I made a huge, long, detailed post about it, but I deleted it at the last minute instead of pushing the publish button, because I feared that it would trigger horrific memories in people.

Long story short-

Me: I wonder why random kids find me so approachable and randomly come up to me as if I'm their friend to play games and stuff 😅

What I fear people think: Uhg, look at this bítch. She's pretending to not understand, but she's actually bragging about how great she is with kids.

What's actually going on:

ALMOST EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS, IT SENDS ME INTO A PANIC THAT I HAVE TO WORK HARD TO KEEP UNDER CONTROL AND I WISH I COULD GET RID OF WHATEVER ATTRACTS THEM TO ME SO I'D NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS AGAIN, BUT I FEAR THAT THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS MAKE MYSELF LOOK SCARY TO KIDS, BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SCARE KIDS OR MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE, I JUST WANT THEM TO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE UNLESS THEY NEED HELP WITH AN EMERGENCY OR SOMETHING- GOD, HELP ME!!

Heheh...

I cried while writing the post that I deleted. Hopefully this one is much more light hearted and maybe even a bit funny or something...

Me: *Holds up a normal fork in one hand and a plastic fork for toddlers in the other* Ok, Teddy, which fork do you want?

Teddy: *Ignoring me to watch TV*

Me: ....Teddy....which fork do you want? 😒😅

Sis: Give him the plastic one.

Me: Oh, well, I had a feeling he was gonna choose that one, but I was trying to give him the feeling that he has more choices when it comes to eating, so he might enjoy it more 😅

Sis: Oh. Well, there's other colors that he can choose from.

I found two other colors for that type of fork, so he got to choose between 3 forks! It didn't do too much, but I'm hoping that the small sense of choice and therefore, small sense of control, did some good for him.

So, the first day of my experiment held only a few small results, due to the fact that he doesn't like eating when he wakes up, but I had to do it early in the morning due to schedule changes for that day.

But the first experiment attempt ended with:

Him hopefully getting some kind of mental gain from the choice between the forks I provided (though he definitely wouldn't fully realize it, I'm hoping it did some good for him somewhere deep in the back of his mind)

I learned that he enjoys the taste of the omelette I made for him, even though he only ate one bite in front of me (we sent the rest of his food with him to the babysitter to eat later, when he's more likely to feel like eating)

He seemed to enjoy the playful names I gave the foods, so I'm hoping it will spark positivity in him next time I make one of those foods, which will hopefully make him more likely to eat with fewer issues

I got him to eat a bite of food before he had to go, which, believe it or not, is actually a decently sized win. I even made sure that he swallowed it, instead of just holding it in his mouth.

He didn't much care for the eating competition (Sis suggested I call it an eating 'race', so he could have an easier time understanding what was going on), so I guess I have to think of a different way to make meal time feel like fun time for him.

Next time I do the experiment, I think I'm gonna try gluten free pancakes (so I can still eat with him) in different shapes.

'Look, Teddy! Doesn't this one look like Mickey Mouse? And this one looks like a flower!'

Maybe he'll play around with the pancakes because of the interesting shapes, then slowly start eating them bit by bit with slight encouragement from me?

'I wonder what Mickey would look like with only one ear? How about we eat one of his ears to find out? Num num num num, he tastes yummy! Now you try!'

Uhg, getting a growing boy to eat shouldn't require this much planning 😩

Again; the parenting classes I took did not prepare me for this!

Thanks for teaching me the difference between encouraging a set or growth mindset, that was actually very helpful, but would it have killed ya to replace 'think of fun games' with 'let's think of the best way to get a picky child to eat proper meals'? That day could've been used so much better! Ah, well, I still learned a lot from that class. At least it provided me with the basics on how to begin altering things to fit to their liking, even if only a bit.

Not like they could prepare us for everything.

Though, it would be nice if it was somehow possible for them to do that, considering a few of those students already had babies that would sometimes be brought to visit the parent student during lunch.

Me: Ok....all the other adults are failing and having to resort to the 'YOU'RE NOT LEAVING THE TABLE UNTIL YOU EAT' thing. So....how do I make him want to eat?

Me: Oh, I know! We need stuff that tastes good, is appealing to the eye, and we should make eating fun!

There's some stuff I'd like to order to help me with this, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

So, right now, I just have to do what I can.

I made sweet rolled omelettes. When my cousin's 2 oldest kids where younger, I had them try one and they loved it so much that they asked me to make another one to go with their dinner that night.

So I'm hoping-

'Well, they loved it, so maybe he'll at least like it? And since it's a bit sweet, maybe he'll think of it as a treat instead of actual food? So he won't have a problem with it? And maybe, since it's rolled and therefore looks a bit strange in the center, maybe it'll be visually appealing to him?'

I'm also gonna make some hash browns when they thaw out and fry some up. They're chopped up in squares/rectangles, so maybe having a plate of little shapes will make him happy?

And I figured that giving foods weird names might make him enjoy the foods more, so the omelettes are 'Sweet Rollies' and the hash browns are 'Square Fryers'.

The last thing I can think of is to make the meals into games.

'Eating contest! Whoever finishes first gets 10 M&Ms as their reward!'

'Whoever finishes first gets to play with this monster truck!'

With me letting him win, naturally, so he always gets more enjoyment out of it.

On top of the fun I hope he has, it's a good idea for the adult to eat with the child anyways, if there's no other children for the child to eat with. Otherwise, the kid can feel lonely during meals. And it's also a decent idea to eat the same thing as the child instead of making them separate meals, so they don't start thinking there's a difference that separates foods from being 'kid' foods or 'adult' foods.

Due to my celiac, I can't just eat whatever he wants, I have to bring my own food to eat.

Soooo, if this little experiment of mine works out tomorrow, I guess I'll have to start making meals to take over there. I usually just wait to eat until I'm able to go home.

If I manage to check all the boxes:

Visually appealing

Entertaining names

Rule out the possibility of loneliness

Provide a way to make the meal into some sort of game

-

Then I might be able to get this child to eat properly!!

And if I see results during the experiment, I can just make breakfast to send over with Mom in the morning, so she can take care of breakfast, then I can just take care of lunch when it's my turn to go over to babysit.

Sis said she wants to get him onto a schedule in an attempt to help him regulate his eating.

If Mom goes over around the same time every week morning with some breakfast to share, and I bring lunch with me to share with him when I have to go over, then Sis only really has to worry about when dinner should be.

We should probably schedule in a snack or two, as well, but I'm clearly gonna need help with that.

One step at a time....

For now, I just need to focus on getting him to eat tomorrow!