โ ๐ธ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ โ ๐ถ.๐๐๐ธ๐๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐ ๐ ๐ป๐๐!๐๐๐ถ๐น๐๐
โ avon lockehart x fem! reader
๐๐ถ๐๐: avon lockheart x fem!reader ยท goth!reader ยท psychological tension ยท emotional intimacy ยท slow burn ยท morally grey romance ยท mutual obsession ยท forbidden desire ยท poetic angst ยท craving the poison unholy chemistry ยท loss of control ยท inpso cherry on top by ellise ยท (art from @weluv-xo tumblr/game)
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐:ย Youโre supposed to be in control, keeping it clean and professionalโฆ until Avon Lockheart makes everything impossibly complicated. Filled with games of who can break who first, and a tension so thick you can taste it.ย
Youโre curious, heโs provoker-in-chief, and somewhere between biting insults and calculated seduction, you both realize youโre two halves of the same dangerous coin. bitter, dark, and maybe just a little sweet
โbecause cherry on top, right?
๐ถ/๐: major spoilers ahead from the game ! ! !.
๐๐ธ: 15k
Cherry On Top.
Thatโs what tonight would be if anybody paid attention.
But you didnโt get off for attention. You did it for the rush, the buzz in your veins, your chest seemingly ready to burst or shatter. Always hovering around that point of no return.
And you just canโt seem to wind down until you sense both hands resting upon the small of your back.
Youโve been so good at bothโtesting limits and falling apart with panache. A person who downs a drink too quickly just to see whatโs burning, who stands too close to the edge just to show youโre not afraid, who calls it curiosity but knows there's hunger.
Zโyour favorite dangerous ideaโhad dragged you out tonight.
The kind of night youโd normally say, โNo... thanks.โ But tonight you decided, why the hell not? The warehouse was supposed to be the party of the season. The kind of event whispered about for weeksโno cover, no rules, no memories youโd want to keep.
Z had hyped it up like it was some kind of pilgrimage for the unhinged: flickering strobe lights, bodies moving like a promise of escape disguised as fun.ย You both swore itโd be perfectโor at least regrettable enough to brag about later.
In reality, it was fucking overrated.ย And overpriced. A glorified sweatbox with too many people and too little oxygen.
You didnโt belong here. Never did.
And yet, you made it work; every sip of tequila made you feel alive in a way that felt almost shameful. Three drinks, six drinksโyour limbs loosened, your chest rose and fell with each heartbeat in tandem with the music.
Z had her drink in hand and a dangerous gleam in her eyes, already pulling you toward the crowd. The music pounded like a heartbeatโbass thick enough to blur thoughts.ย Velvet, lace, and silver flashing under the lights; you danced, or whatever it was that counted as dancing when you didnโt care who was watching.
Thatโs when you noticed Z caught some man's attention.
Some black-haired alt white boy, slouching against the wall with a lazy smirk, like a man who knows heโs an option. Your heart was thumping in your temples. You werenโt supposed to want anybody tonightโall right, you couldnโt want anybody. But there was something about the lure of itโthe riskโthat turned your stomach sideways.
And then your body reminded you that you had limits.
A churn in your gut, a sharp pang of betrayal that made your throat burn. Maybe it was the tequila waterfall from a group of woman forced down your throat. Maybe it was karma.
But either way, you need to go to the bathroom. Stat.
You glanced over at Zโstill laughing, pressed up against the same random dude who probably thought he was the prize of the season. They looked happy. You didnโt want to ruin it. So, like a seasoned escape artist, you slipped away quietly, pretending you were fine.
Totally fine. Absolutely fine.
Probably just a littleโฆ off. Okay, maybe a lot of.
Inside, you were shakingโnot from the alcohol (though that was definitely a factor) or the bass pounding like a jackhammer through your chestโbut because you wanted. Wanted someone to place both hands on the small of your back, to ground you while everything else blurred into glitter, sweat, and questionable life choices.
The hallway to the shared bathroom was dim, sticky with the scent of spilled drinks and regret. The floor was wet in places you didnโt want to think about. You wobbled toward the sinks, leaning over one with all the grace of a tipsy giraffe. Makeup smudged, hair stuck to your cheek, reflection fractured in a mirror that had clearly seen better decades.
Tonight, you had acted rashly.
Tonight, you were hungry. Hungry for risk.
Hungry for something that would make the void inside feelโฆ less like emptiness and more like a fire you could chase.
And maybe youโd find your... cherry on top.
You stepped back from the cracked mirror, wobbly on your heels, when suddenlyโoh, of courseโyour foot caught on something, or maybe nothing, and gravity decided it hated you tonight.
A low grunt erupted behind you just in time for a firm chest to stop your descent. โWatch itโโ the voice began, irritation slicing clean through the bass thudding from the party outside.
You froze, pressed against someone solid, warm, impossibly real. Not part of the wallpaper. Not some trick of the strobe lights.
Definitelyโฆ a person.
The hand on your shoulder was firm, steady, but there was a thread of annoyance in his voice. โHey are you evenโโ he started, and you braced for a scolding.
Then his eyes found yours.
And for a second, everything pausedโthe bass, the laughter, the chaos outside. The irritation vanished like smoke, replaced with a quiet that felt almost dangerous, like the world had decided it wasnโt going to bother with words anymore.
You blinked up at him, breathless, your own mess on full display: black lipstick smudged into something that was part ruin, part artistry; lace sleeves slipping off your shoulders; stockings torn near the knees; platform boots sticky with beer. Soft, tired eyes met his, glazed with tequila and recklessness alike.
And thenโฆ you realized.
Avon Lockheart.
You didn't know his full name at the timeโnot that it mattered in the momentโbut the stillness he carried, the way he seemed to quiet the air itself, told you everything you needed to know.
Deep red eyes that could cut through shadows, skin kissed by warmth and the god damn sun itself, hair falling in ink-black strands to his jaw, glinting piercings catching the fractured light. You didnโt catch all of themโnot at firstโbut each glint and detail sharpened the edges of the moment in a way you couldnโt look away from.
He was exactly who you didnโt expect to be here.
You muttered a quiet, โSorry,โ looking away for a second, innocent and fragile all at once, leaning into the strangerโs chest like it was the only thing keeping you upright.
He looked at you for a long secondโlike he couldnโt quite tell if you were about to pass out or cast a spell. Then, slowly, that irritation curved into something else. Something teasing.
โLet me guess,โ he murmured, voice low and dry, โyou crawled out of a coffin for this, didnโt you?โ His fingers were still on youโsteady, almost gentleโbut there was that edge in his tone, that knowing smirk that made your skin prickle.
โHahah, very funny,โ you croaked, trying to pull away.ย Instinct. You didnโt trust him; why would you? You didn't know him. โGet off,โ you muttered, voice thick, head still spinning.
He didnโt. He just tightened his grip enough to keep you from sliding down the wall. โEasy now,โ he said. โYouโre gonna eat concrete if you keep fighting me.โ
You hated that he was right.
You glanced up, and thatโs when the music shiftedโsome slow, sultry beat bleeding through the door, something that almost fit the way he looked at you. He had to lean down to hear you when you tried to speak, his breath brushing your cheek.
โDidnโt ask for help,โ you managed.
โI didnโt ask to play nurse,โ he shot back, eyes flicking over you again. โBut here we are.โ
It shouldโve felt condescending. It didnโt.
Instead, he guided youโgently but firmlyโdeeper into the bathroom, into his arms, into a space that somehow existed separate from the chaos of the warehouse. Quiet. Private. Almost intimate, even in the faint smell of alcohol and bleach.
You didnโt fight. You couldnโt.
Leaning over the cold toilet, retching as your stomach reminded you of every reckless choice youโd made that night, you were painfully, hilariously exposed. Again, hair plastered to your forehead, makeup smeared into something that looked like ruined art, platform boots sticky with spilled beerโyou felt ridiculous.
And yet, somehowโฆ safe.
His hands were there, steady on your arms, but not restraining. Guiding. Attentive. Every small motionโtucking a stray strand of hair from your face, brushing a smear of lipstick from your cheekโcarried a weight that made your chest thrum.ย
And thenโฆ you looked up.
Eyes met, for just a heartbeat, and it was like the world paused: the bass pounding outside, the laughter, the strobe lights, even the chaos of your own spinning stomachโall of it faded to gray.ย
His gaze was calm but magnetic, teasing but careful, as if he was mapping you out and choosing to stay in exactly the right place. You felt a shiver travel down your spineโnot from the alcohol, possibly from the nauseaโbut from the quiet intensity of being seen, noticed, cared for.
It wasnโt long before Z found you, fussing, tugging at your arm, half-scolding, half-panicked, shoving you toward the exit. You barely protested, letting her shepherd you home, leaving Avon in the shadows, a quiet sentinel amid the chaos.ย But even as you left, you knewโheโd be coming for you.
Because you made sure he would.
Now, perched on the window seat of your apartment, the city sprawled below caught between dying fall and half-born winter, you almost laugh at yourself. Palms pressed to your knees, heart still skipping at the memory: the warmth of him, the steadiness of his hands, the way his gaze had locked on you and held you in place while the world blurred around you.
Cherry on top.
Thatโs exactly what it had been.ย
Youโre halfway packed, boots kicked near the door, black lace and velvet spilling out of your bag. The faint scent of your perfumeโsomething dark, floral, and faintly dangerousโlingers in the air, curling through the small space like a secret.
Zโs sprawled across your bed in their usual chaosโhair messy, eyeliner sharp, legs dangling off the side like gravity doesnโt apply to them. Sheโs talking fast, voice full of that mix of disbelief and affection they reserve only for you.
โI still can't believe it? You, finally, Interested in someone?โ She exclaimed, waving their phone around like a cross at a demon. โThatโs gottaโwhat would you sayโbe one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, babe. Like, did Mercury move into hell or something?โ
You glance over your shoulder with a quiet smirk, adjusting the bow on the back of your asymmetrical top. Velvet, black with a faint sheen of purple under the lightโZโs already clocking every detail. The top dips just enough to show a flash of cleavage, paired with a long maxi skirt that brushes your ankles like smoke.
Their grin widens. โOh my god. Your boobs are boobing, maโam. Whatโs the occasion, a fuck or a date?โ
You laughโreal, soft, caught off guard. โYouโre ridiculous.โ
โIโm serious!โ they insist, sitting up on their elbows. โThatโs your โI might seduce death itselfโ outfit. Donโt even lie to me.โ
You roll your eyes but donโt bother denying it. โHeโs not death,โ you murmur, folding another black top into your bag. โFunny enough, death just works around him.โ
Z blinks at you, disbelief dancing across her features, paired with that trademark smirk. โYeah, because thatโs better. I still canโt wrap my head around you hanging out with this dude again.โ
Thatโs right. You were hanging out with him again.
After the chaos of the warehouse, youโd offered him a โthank youโโdisguised, of course, as a date. A simple courtesy, reallyโfor helping you, for not staring, for not mocking the mess youโd made that night.
And Avon, of course, took it literally.
Date at the cemetery.
Which took you off guard, never have you ever been on a date that involves a cemetery, but since it was something new, you couldn't help but pass up on the offer.
You spent the night weaving between tombstones and shadows, the damp earth underfoot releasing the faint, sweet tang of night-blooming flowers. Avon leaned close, murmuring things only you could hear, his hand brushing yours as if it belonged there.ย
Every subtle contact made your pulse flicker, your chest tighten, yet you remained precise, measured, analytical. His movements, both commanding and protective, belonged to the night itselfโdark, quiet, unyieldingโand somehow he expected you to navigate it on his terms.
Playful teasing edged the evening: fingers brushing โaccidentallyโ against your arm, lips curling into those sharp, knowing smiles, whispers designed to pull a laugh and, at the same time, unsettle. Your mind cataloged each action, noting the flicker of his eyes, the way his words lingered, how he moved without warning.
โAre you sure youโre not summoning him instead of dating him?โ Zโs voice cut through your concentration, snapping you from the analysis.
You caught your reflection in the window, lips twitching. โPossibly,โ you said, letting the word hang, then met her gaze. โBoth.โ
Z sprawled across your bed, chin propped in her hand, eyes glinting with teasing curiosity. โSo,โ she began, โbe honest with meโare you actually serious about Avon, or is this just another one of your... weird ahh crushes?โ
You froze for half a second, the question hovering in the air between you. Then, a quiet laugh slipped out. โHa. How could I even explain?โ
To anyone elseโZ includedโyour behavior mightโve looked like a teenagerโs crush. The late-night texts, the lingering glances, the way your attention sharpened when his name came up.ย
It all painted a picture that couldnโt have been farther from the truth.
Avon wasnโt someone you pined over.ย
He was a subjectโyour complex test subject.
A living equation you couldnโt resist solving. And yet, you could never say that aloud. What would you even tell her? โHeโs just a test subjectโ? Right. Because that would sound perfectly sane.
You could already picture Zโs face if you told her how youโd been cataloging him since you met him. How every word, every look of expression, every shift in tone had a place in your notes. How youโd studied the way he could reach a part of you you didnโt even know existedโand how that, in itself, became data. Not emotion. Data.
โIโฆ donโt know yet,โ you said finally, โBut he seems interesting.โ
Z smirked, rolling onto her back with a dramatic sigh. โFamous last words, babe.โ
You smiled faintly, turning toward the window where the faint reflection of your own eyes stared back. โWeโll, okay, whatever you say,โ you replied, keeping your tone casual, detached.
She didnโt need to know anyway.
Your journal sat open beside youโblack leather, unmarked, edges soft from constant use. Not sentimental. Never that. It was coded, clinical, somewhere between a field log and a confession youโd never make out loud. Every reaction he drew from you was recorded, dissected, archived.
That was why youโd agreed to this so-called third date.ย
Study. Observation. Control.
His speech cadence. Microexpressions. The way tension lived in his shoulders. His patternsโwhen he paces, when he deflects, what triggers that sharp gleam in his eyes. You tracked them all. Even the moments he didnโt realize he was being watched.
It wasnโt obsession. Not exactly. It was curiosityโwith teeth. Fascination dressed as logic.
The notebook stayed closeโalways. The soft scrape of its cover beneath your fingertips reminded you that you still held the data, even if you no longer understood the experiment.
โWhat are you thinking, babe?โ Zโs voice broke through your focus.
You blinked, snapping the cover shut, sliding the journal back into your bag. โOh, just my last date with him, โ you said smoothly, zipping it closed like the end of a lie. โIf curious, Iโll say it was interesting. We talked aboutโฆ weird stuff. Childhoods. Beliefs. You know.โ
Z props herself up, eyebrows raised. โWait, keep going? That's it? Youโre leaving out, like, ninety percent of that story.โ
โBecause the other tenโs the only part that matters,โ you reply, smirking faintly. โHe listens. Actually listens. Doesnโt just wait for his turn to talk.โ
Z stares at you for a beat, eyebrows raised so high theyโre about to escape her forehead. Then she bursts out laughing. โWaitโso thatโs all it takes? Basic human decency?โ
You shrug, deadpan. โA hot basic human decency.โ
She groans, snatching a pillow and hurling it at your head. โJesus Christ, youโre hopeless. You met this guy likeโwhat a few weeks ago, and now youโre out here flirting with the Grim Reaper. Next thing I know, youโll be signing up for a joint exorcism.โ
You hum softly, tucking your camera into your bag with exaggerated care, like itโs a sacred artifact. โSadly, thatโs not on the agenda for our third date.โ
Z freezes mid-laugh, eyes narrowing suspiciously. โThen what exactly are you two doing?โ
You grin, shrugging with all the innocent enthusiasm of a kid presenting a science project. โA photoshoot.โ
Her face twists, part incredulous, part impressed. โMeaningโฆ your first scene with a guy, at his place, surrounded by tombstones? Are youโฆ subconsciously trying to die pretty?โ
You peek out the window at the bruised-gray sky, letting a half-smile tug at your lips. โUnhinged gets better engagement.โ
Z whistles low, a mix of awe and worry. โOh, thatโs hot. Also deeply concerning. Seriously, babe, I should charge admission for this level of curiosity-fueled recklessness.โ
You tilt your head, eyes catching the faint lamplightโsparkling with that mix of innocent mischief and quiet calculation that always got you labeled as harmlessโฆ right up until you decided otherwise.
โCuriosity didnโt kill me last time,โ you say, voice laced with an airy confidence. โAnd I intend to keep it that way.โ
You glance over your shoulder at Z, sprawled across your bed like a lazy cat thatโs given up on the concept of movementโhoodie half-zipped, chips crushed into her sleeve, hair an art form of chaos. Typical Z.
You zip your camera bag shut, feigning a dramatic sigh, though a playful smirk betrays your amusement. โRelax,โ you say, tossing the strap over your shoulder. โItโs not like Iโm gonna fuck him, no matter how hot he is. Weโre just taking pictures. Heโs helping. Itโs fine.โ
Z arches a brow, skepticism dripping from her tone. โHelping, huh? Thatโs what everyone says before they end up in some guyโs black-and-white โavant-gardeโ art film that mysteriously never gets released.โ
You saunter closer, letting the distance shrink at an unhurried pace, that teasing curve still playing on your lips. โMaybe I like a little dangerโฆโ
Her grin spreadsโslow, indulgent. โI knew it. I am so responsible for this new side of you. Look at youโcurious, chaoticโฆ my bad influence is thriving.โ
You laugh, soft and low, the sound threading through the quiet between you. โYouโre worried,โ you murmur, tilting your head as you study her. โAnd itโs adorable.โ
Z snorts, but thereโs a look in her eyesโone you catch instantly. You move closer, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, fingers trailing lightly against her cheek. The touch is carefulโjust warm enough to calm, just gentle enough to disarm. โSee?โ you whisper, voice soft but steady. โIโm fine. No need to bite your nails over me.โ
Her breath stutters, a brief tell you canโt help but notice. So you push a little furtherโplayful, calculated. You press lightly against her shoulder, pinning her down into the pillow with deceptive ease, slow, nonchalant, and dangerously calm.
You hover there, letting your thumb ghost along her jawline, tracing the curve of her lips before pulling back just enough to keep her guessing. โDonโt worry,โ you murmur, tone dipping low, playful and deliberate. โIโll be careful.โ
Z exhales shakily, trying for composure but not quite reaching it. โYouโre enjoying making me nervous, arenโt you?โ
You grin, brushing your nose against hers, the proximity a taunt. โMaybe a little,โ you admit, voice a whisper of amusement. โAfter allโฆ didnโt you teach me how to be hot?โ
Her laugh bursts out, half exasperated, half flusteredโand just like that, the tension breaks into something familiar again. Z bites her lip, pretending annoyance, but the blush betrays her. โYouโreโโ she starts, voice soft, unguarded.
โโcute and reckless?โ you supply, fingers lingering at the curve of her neck, thumb still tracing her cheek.
โโa tease,โ she corrects, voice low and breathy.
You laugh, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her temple, before stepping back with a falsely innocent smile back in place. โIโll be fine. Like I always am,โ you murmur. โYou taught me to handle myself. I justโฆ want to make sure you stop worrying for once.โ
She exhales, body relaxing beneath you, a laugh finally slipping through her lips. Her mouth quirks into a half-smile. โGod, Iโm such a good and bad influence on you.โ
You laugh quietly, removing yourself off Z, shaking your head. โYeah, sure.โ You picked up you weekend back
โText me when you get there,โ she mumbles, already sinking back into the pillow.
โYeah, yeah.โ
โSwear it, or Iโll haunt your ass.โ
You grin. โAlready planning on it.โ
Z hums a lazy goodbye as you sling your bag over your shoulder and head for the door. A soft laugh slips outโhalf fond, half disbelievingโas if youโre humoring her one last time before you disappear into the cold.
Youโve always known how to turn anxiety into ease.
The less she knew, the better.
The stairwell greets you like an exhale. Itโs colder than it should be, concrete walls breathing out drafts that smell faintly of rain and rust. Your boots echo on each step, sharp little notes against the silence, punctuation for thoughts that never seem to end.
Of course, you were still thinking about him.
Not in the soft, fluttery way people romanticize obsessionโno. In that clinical, frustrating,ย why does he still occupy mental real estate I didnโt authorizeย kind of way?
It was irritating. Disruptive. A noise in the data.
You donโt normally do this. You donโtย fixate.ย You donโt replay microexpressions in your mind or analyze the timbre of someoneโs voice when they said your name. Youโve built your life on precision, detachment, and observation without interference.
Avon, somehow, had bypassed all that.
After that firstย โdateโโif you could even call it thatโyou almost let yourself forget.
The ride home had been quiet, filled with the hum of tires against rain-slicked pavement and the faint trace of his scentโsomething dark, resinous, expensive without trying to be.
Youโd almost fallen into it. Almost.
Then there was the way heโd said your name before you got out of the car. Slow, careful. Like he wanted to know how it felt in his mouth before deciding if it was worth saying again.
And that kiss. Barely there. A brush against your cheek. Not romantic. Not territorial. Justโฆย testing the fucking waters kinda of kiss. A simple observation, really: he liked you. Just not enough.
Which only left one question.
How do you get Avon to like youย more?
The question alone made you pause, looking up. You made it to the cemetery gateโprops of being a fast walker, even in platforms, the mist curling along the ground like smoke from a forgotten fire. Avon had texted you the night before to wait outside his job at afternoon since he got off earlierโof course, he did.ย
Who else could have a nine-to-five at a place full of people who technically canโt leave?
Get it? He works with dead people? Sorry, Iโll stop.
So, you waited. Looking up, most people would have cursed the gray sky, the mist seeping into their clothes, the way the world seemed to sigh in dull monotone.ย
You, of course, found it perfect.ย
The cemetery gate loomed ahead, iron teeth silhouetted against a sky bruised from summerโs dying light.ย Your boots crunched over damp leaves, your breath forming small, insistent ghosts that drifted and vanished into the gray. The chill made your coat cling just right, velvet and lace brushing together under your fingers.ย
You leaned against the heavy doors, shoulders relaxed yet your mind elsewhere, lost somewhere in red eyes, whispered voices, and the memoryโthat night of him steadying you in a bathroom that smelled faintly of alcohol and regret.
You told yourself many times before, "He's just interesting..." but it didnโt feel like that when you caught yourself replaying the way he said your name, or how he smiled at you, orโshitโ
Do youย likeย him?
Hahaha. No. No, no, no.
Absolutely not. You donโtย doย that. You donโt like people. You study them, dissect them, rearrange their patterns in your head until they make sense. You canโt afford to be one of those hopelessly emotional idiots who think a strange man with red eyes and a smirk means fate or whatever.
That was the old you.
The one who believed in easy answers and softer things.
Who tried to be normal, open, and liked. Who thought that being kind meant being safe? That version of you was naรฏveโtoo trusting, too busy wanting to be understood instead of doing the understanding.
You hated them for that. For being soย simple-minded.
You had to change.
Now you listen to the world differently. You built something new out of the wreck of that softness: a mind sharpened, a spirit anchored, a belief system that made youย untouchable.ย
You need toย learnย him.
He was a problem to solve. And you were going to solve him.
Your thumb pressed against the back of your hand, grounding yourself as you crossed your arms, coat pulled tight. โFocus,โ you muttered, โYou cannot allow yourselfโโ
โBoo.โ
You jumped. Actually jumped.
The thought, the plan, the meticulous strategyโall snapped like brittle glass. Your heart lurched, pulse kicking hard as you spun around.
Avon stood by the crooked gate, one shoulder pressed against the rusted metal, half his face hidden in shadow, with a playful grin and infuriating eyes glinting red under the dim light. โYou really get lost in your head, donโt you, dove?โ His tone was playful, but the effect was total disruption.
You blinked, trying to regain composure, โJesusโโ
He tilted his head, a strand of dark hair slipping over one sharp eye. โWrong guy, dove,โ he murmured, voice low and amused, the faint red glint in his eyes catching under the streetlight like something unholy dressed up in charm.
You exhaled, hand pressed against your chest, annoyance mixing with a reluctant pull that had you glancing up at him despite yourself.
Hard to stay angry when someone looks likeย that.
Avon wasโฆ aesthetically fascinating. Unfairly so.
His beauty was androgynous, carefully so. A long curtain of black hair was partially secured, but strategic strands had been left to escape, framing a face that seemed designed to catch the light.
His skin had a warm brown glow to it, smooth and rich against the chill of the night air. And those eyesโdeep, reddish, unrealโmade it impossible to look away. They werenโt just red; theyย burned, quiet and steady, like coals that had learned patience. When they locked onto you.
He dressed wellโwearing a thrifted jacket, a white fur trimmed with white fur, a silver ring on his finger, and the small clash of a cross and pentagram at his throat.
He smirked, eyes trailing over your expression. โLike what you see, dove?โ
โYou absoluteโโ You caught yourself, glaring up at him. โAre you trying to give me a heart attack?โ
He shrugged, casual, like the question barely grazed him, โMaybe,โ he said simply, that smile widening. โItโs the fastest way to your heart, isnโt it?โ
You narrow your eyes, โLucky for you, I didnโt swing first.โ
He gives a low hum of approval, like he likes that edge in you. โWouldโve deserved it,โ he says, eyes raking over your frame. โBut at least youโd look appropriately dressed for my funeral.โ
You follow his gaze down: the fur-lined coat, the black choker pressing into your pulse, the glint of the silver ankh pendant.
He smirked. โYou really commit to a theme, huh? So this isnโt just for showโyouโre actually goth. Whatโs your favorite color, despair?โ
You meet his sarcasm with a composed look. โDespairโs more of a feeling than a color. I prefer things I can name.โ
He laughs, but thereโs something brittle in itโlike he expected you to play along, not deflect. The moment stretches, and you see a glintโin his expression. The faint downturn of his mouth. That flash of something dark and tight around the eyes.ย
Oops. He didnโt like that answer.
You already figured out the pattern; say something he doesnโt likeโsomething that challenges, resists, or redirects himโand itโs like youโve tugged a string too hard. His face closes off, like shutters pulling down. But if you say something that amuses him, flatters his ego, or feeds the chaos he thrives onโthen heโs all light again.
So you tilt your head slightly, tone easing back to something softer. โBut... maybe despairโs the right answer for you.โ
That does it. His gaze snaps back to you, the corners of his mouth twitching upward again. โNow youโre getting it.โ
โI try,โ you murmur, tone careful but easy, a hint of teasing tucked between the words. You nudge his shoulder lightly as you step forward, smile sharp and teasing, all teeth and confidence. โNow come onโletโs leave before I bury you here.โ
His laugh comes low, the kind that slides over your skin. When you glance back, his gaze is differentโno longer just amusement, no longer casual. Heโs watching like someone cataloging a specimen, eyes tracing your posture, the tilt of your head, the curve of your mouth when you smile.
And then that soft smirk spreads across his face. โThatโs the spirit,โ
The drive was quiet.
Not awkwardโjust simply quiet. The kind of silence that sits between two people who are thinking too much. The sky outside pressed close, the shift from day to night folding around you like a velvet curtain. Streetlights bled against the windows, streaking his profile in flashes of amber and shadow.
You could hear the faint tap of his rings on the steering wheel, the pattern irregular, restless. Avonโs silences were never stillโthey always carried a hum, a low tension beneath the surface.
By the time the car rolled to a stop, the air outside felt colder, wetter. Your boots crunched against the pavement, the faint drizzle making everything gleam. He led you through the narrow walkway toward his building, his gait lazy, hands shoved deep in his coat pockets.
Halfway up the stairs, his voice broke the quiet.
โYou know, I hardly know you.โ
You glanced sideways, โWhatever does that mean?โ
He shrugged, not looking at you, โI mean, I know the surface stuff. Youโre a BS psych major. An RA. Doing some fancy research gig under that professorโwhatโs his name?โ
โDr. Albrecht.โ
โRight. The one with the smug glasses and tenure complex.โ His mouth curved slightly, though his tone edged sharper. โYouโre the perfect overachiever. Organized. Always got your shit together. Bet you probably even color-code your trauma.โ
You smiled faintly at that, but didnโt deny it.
Besides, you wanted him to keep thinking that.
You both reached the door, a tall, black slab of wood that looked like it belonged more in a crypt than an apartment complex.ย He unlocked it and swung it open, holding it for you like a gentleman whoโd studied centuries of rituals and decided chivalry wasnโt deadโit just had to be a little dangerous.
You stepped inside, platforms clicking softly on the dark wood floors. He held the door, letting it stay open so it wouldnโt catch you as you kicked off your boots. โYou can justโโ he started, but you cut him off with a soft, amused, โCommon courtesy,โ and padded inside.
He tilted his head, studying you for a beat, then laughedโa short, almost musical bark. You froze, confusion flicking through you. โWhat?โ you asked, narrowing your eyes.
โYouโreโฆ shorter than I thought,โ he said, still chuckling. โWith the platforms, maybe shoulder height. Without themโฆ justโฆ so cute.โ
Cute.
Your chest tightenedโnot from embarrassment, but from sheer annoyance. Cute? The word felt like an insult wrapped in soft syrup.ย
You bit back a sharper response, forcing the edges of your mouth into a controlled line. โCute,โ you repeated, slow, deadpan, letting it hang in the air like a challenge. โYeah. Helpful observation. Really clarifying.โ
You turned your gaze away, cheeks heating with suppressed fury. You refused to let him see how much that word ticked at you. Then, carefully, you shifted the conversation.ย
โSoโฆ howโs this gonna go?โ you asked, forcing curiosity over irritation, masking the tiny, seething spark his words had left behind.
He grinned, obviously pleased with the question. โWeโre going to ruin my bathroom,โ he said, eyes gleaming. โFor the perfect shot.โ
You raised a brow. โRuin your bathroom?โ
โNot permanently,โ he reassured you, walking ahead. โPlastic sheets everywhere, a little fake blood, and you being the perfect subject of dark aesthetics.โ
As he guided you through the apartment, your eyes caught every little detail. The walls were a deep, velvety charcoal, almost swallowing the dim light.
Occult symbols were etched subtly into the corners, very precise, their meaning known only to him. Candles were arranged in unusual, meticulous patternsโalmost certainly his handiwork, if you remembered his earlier talk about making them.
The air was heavy with the faint, warm scent of incense and cedar, as though the atmosphere itself. Your gaze lingered on a small pentagram carved into the wooden trim. He noticed instantly and let a slow, knowing smirk curl across his lips, eyes glinting with quiet amusement.
โYou like it?โ His voice was casual, but you could feel the edge of expectation beneath it.
You blinked, caught off guard, a little hesitant. โIโฆ I think itโsโฆ interesting,โ you said, voice softer than intended, the words coming out almost innocent.
You realized it immediatelyโtoo naive, too unpolished.
A brief flush crept up your neck. You cleared your throat, adjusting the tone. โI mean,โ you corrected, lips twitching into a small, controlled smile, โitโsโฆ very cool. I can tell you put thought into everything. Thatโs impressive.โ
His eyes flickered, part amusement, part intrigue, as if heโd caught the flicker of your true reaction hiding behind your correction. โImpressive, huh?โ he murmured, leaning a little closer.
You hesitated, nodding a little, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, knowing what he was about to ask. Avon had that lookโthe one that made it impossible to lie or evade. He tilted his head, lips quirked in that dangerous way, and pressed.
โSoโฆ deadass, whatโs your story, really? Like I said before, all the surface stuff I knowโwhat about the rest?โ His voice was deceptively soft, but the question landed like a weight in your chest.
You froze for a fraction of a second.ย
Not because you didnโt want to answer, but because answering felt like giving a tiny piece of yourself away.ย But hell, he wanted the taste of the cherry so damn badly, and you werenโt about to play coy forever.
โIโฆ I guess Iโve alwaysโฆ watched. Tried to understand people,โ you admitted, measured, careful to give just enough without unraveling. โMore than I let them see, anyway. Pretty much alone most of the time, you know? Outsider type. The brain works too fast; people donโt keep up. Makesโฆ social stuff difficult.โ
You caught the faint twitch in his eyesโthe way his brow softened, the ghost of concern passing over his sharp features. He leaned in slightly, like he wanted to close the gap, to offer some kind of comfort.
Quick as a blink, you stepped back, leaving him slightly off-guard. His momentary reach reminded you why you kept control your default setting.ย
โAnyway,โ you said, tilting your head, voice light but pointed, โI really want to see the bathroom. See how youโve set it up for the shoot.โ
Avon blinked, the briefest look of suspicion crossing his face before amusement took over. His lips curved, half-teasing, half-questioning. โYouโreโฆ actually excited to see a photoshoot bathroom?โ
You tilted your head, hiding a small grin. โI meanโฆ yeah. Iโm curious, in a weird way. Like, I donโt knowโฆ itโs the little details that matter.โ
He chuckled, shaking his head, but there was that subtle narrowing of his eyes, โUhโฆ sure. Follow me,โ he said, a trace of wariness in his tone, like he half-expected you to bite into something off-limits.
You caught the look, tucked it away mentally.ย
He guided you into the bathroom. Sheets of plastic covered nearly every surface. In the corner sat a bucket filled with a dark, viscous liquid. You raised an eyebrow.ย
โThat blood real?โ
Avon crouched beside it, tilting the bucket and inspecting a small label. โFake, if thatโs what youโre checking,โ he said, voice calm.ย
You laughed, walking closer to inspect it yourself. โWhere the hell did you even get a gallon of fake blood?โ
โOnline,โ he said matter-of-factly. โI considered pigโs blood, butโฆ yeah. Thought youโd prefer not to reek like a slaughterhouse. Thoughtful, right?โ
The thought warmed you more than it should have. โHell yeahโฆโ A small, sly smile tugged at your lips as you set your bag down and began arranging some of the plastic, your eyes glinting with anticipation.ย
Avonโs voice floated from the bathroom, low and casual, โAnywayโฆ you can change in my room. Iโll finish getting the place ready.โ
โOkay.โ You nodded, a little lost, โWhere is it?โ
โBedroom down the hall if you need it,โ his voice called again, but you only allowed a brief glance over your shoulder, catching the half-smile on his face before you ducked fully into the room.
The room was a study in red and black. Deep crimson walls absorbed the shadows; the bedspread was black with a subtle sheen, pillows arranged with careful precision. Bookshelves lined one wall, titles ranging from occult theory to art photography, each spine sharp, ordered, deliberate.ย
Small hints of gothic and satanic symbolism punctuated the space: a carved Baphomet statuette on the desk, a few black candles in ornate holders, a faint sigil etched into the mirror frame.
Despite the darkness of the aesthetic, again everything was meticulously clean, almost unnervingly so, betraying a man who liked control in a world otherwise chaotic.
You perched on the edge of the bed, fingers already diving into your bag, extracting the clothes for the shoot. Every piece was differernt: black lace, velvet, asymmetrical hem.ย
Your eyes drifted around the room as you laid everything out. The way his space was curated, how the light played across objects heโd touched, the subtle scent of resin and wax, made the small hairs at your neck prickle with that sharp, familiar tug of curiosity.ย
Changing in a guyโs room wasโฆ weird, yes.ย
Intrusive in a way that shouldโve made you hesitant, but Avon had offered it. Heโd left the door open, implicitly granting you a boundary you hadnโt asked for.
You didnโt feel guiltyโnot for a second.
You moved with precision, spreading out the outfit as if each fold of lace, were pieces of a puzzle only you could solve. Your mind raced ahead of your fingers, calculating angles, lighting, shadows, and the subtle way Avonโs eyes would linger, the movement in his expression you could almost taste.
Every choice, every detail, was a thread in a web you were weaving. He wouldnโt see it comingโnot how carefully, how cleverly, youโd orchestrated it.
This would make him like you.ย
Anyway, it wasnโt long before you settled into changing. By the time you were done, every movement, every gesture, every glance would serve a single, unspoken goal.
The dress itselfโa long, black lace dress that seemed to breathe with shadow. The bodice hugged like it had been molded for you alone, cinching the waist and lifting the chest just enough to look deliberate. Sheer sleeves traced your arms, delicate as a spiderโs thread, wrists encased but exposed in the most teasing way.
The skirt fell in layers of ghostly lace, hinting at the skin beneath, whispering but never shouting. A high slit split the fabric up one thigh, teasing a glimpse of garter and ripped stockings, sharp lines against soft curves.ย
You stepped in front of the mirror, letting your reflection sink in. Lip gloss caught the dim light, lashes dark as ink, shadow pressed just so across your lids.ย
Youโd kept it minimalโyour body didnโt need embellishment. It moved right, it followed the lines of the dress without argument.ย
The real issue was your face.
Round cheeks, soft curves, a voice that leaned gentle even when it wasnโt meant to; piercings glinting just enough to hint at mischief. Cute. Too fucking cute.ย And thatโexactly thatโwas the problem.
Youโd been told it a long time ago, though you tried to pretend you hadnโt heard it:
Cute was a target.
It wasnโt just teasingโit was the undercurrent of every glance that lingered too long, every whisper that followed you down the hall.ย All of it had been mapped and cataloged in your mind, a warning system for the next attack.
And Avonโฆ men like him didnโt need to say a word to hurt. A tilt of his head, a smirk, a quiet laughโit could slice deeper than any insult ever had.ย He didnโt tease because he hated; he teased because cute was an easy mark, a soft point to jab at, a convenient weapon in the game no one asked you to play.
You hated it. You resented it.ย
You wanted to erase that part of yourself that had been used, exposed, made to feel small as you keep moving the hem, watching the lace swirl.
Just pretty and deadly; exactly how you wanted him to see you.
And yetโฆ your gaze drifted beyond your reflection.ย Avon had left pieces of himself everywhereโbooks, objects, glimpses of his taste and habit.ย Youโd study them all, of course.ย
Notes, observations, mental calculations, potential conversational hooks. Everything was data. Every detail, another piece in the map you were building of him.
Then, your eye caught something though the mirror.ย
A small cluster of pictures on the dresser. Some were familiarโfriends he had mentioned, snapshots of his life beyond this curated darkness.ย You froze halfway through smoothing the lace on your skirt, eyes snagging on the edge of something tucked into the corner of Avonโs dresser mirror.
A Polaroid.
You moved closer, drawn like a moth to the glint of something forbidden. The image was slightly faded, corners curled, but the woman staring back was anything but forgettable.
A baddieโby any definition.
Her skin was medium to deep-toned, luminous even in the low light of the picture. Her expression was lazy, almost taunting: half-lidded eyes, lips parted like sheโd just exhaled a secret. The smudged liner around her eyes only deepened the effectโsleep-deprived, sultry, and dangerous.ย
A small hoop glinted on her lower lip, another piercing caught the light along her nose, and her full brows framed a face that looked too self-assured to care what anyone thought.
Her hair was a dark spill of chaos, messy in a way that could only ever be intentional. She wore a deep green lace-trimmed camisole that clung just enough to suggest more than it showed, paired with layered necklacesโone with a silver cross that glimmered right above her collarbones.
You tilted your head, eyes narrowing slightly. The pose was intimateโtoo close, too personal. She was lying on her stomach on a leopard-print surface, the camera angled just beneath her face.ย In the corner of the Polaroid, a name was scrawled in messy ink.
Renรฉe.
Your thumb lingered over the edge of the Polaroid before you realized you were even touching it. There was a faint smudge, a ghost of where her fingers had pressed against the frameโa reminder that sheโd been here, too.
And suddenly it hit you.
You knew her.ย
Or, rather, you know of her; what she represented in Avon's world. After all, he had mentioned her once, voice neutral but carrying that subtle undercurrent, the one that made casual statements feel heavier than they were.ย
A shadow in the corner of his digital life, heโd said.
She wasnโt like the others.
He hadnโt explained why fully. But you could see itโthe way she got under his skin without him even noticing. The way he softened, just slightly, when she was around. That almost-boyish tilt to his mouth, that flicker in his eyes, filled withย genuine softness, unguarded.
And there it was: that tiny, sharp stab in your chest.
You had studied humans long enough to spot the inconvenient ones, and this was inconvenient. You caught yourself thinking, in that split second, about how effortless she seemed, how easily she claimed that space in his attentionโeverything you werenโt, everything youโd been taught to control.
But then it struck you, hard and cold:ย
Why the fuck should you care?
You werenโt here for Renรฉe.ย You werenโt here to compete, to measure yourself against some other personโs effect on him. That wasnโt your game, and it never would be. You werenโt a collection of reactions to what menโor anyoneโfound appealing.ย
You were you. Always had been, and always would be.
And yet, looking at Renรฉeโs tired, beautiful face staring back from that Polaroid, you couldnโt help but think about one important question:
Why is he here with you, instead of her?
However, upon further reflection, it shouldnโt have been surprising. Nothing about Avon ever was. But damn, it was interesting. And maybe that was worseโ
โCurious little thing, arenโt you, dove?โ
You didnโt hear him come in.
Avonโs reflection appeared in the mirror firstโblurred in the edge of the glassโbefore his voice slid into the air, smooth and low. He moved in close, so close you felt the heat of his breath ghost against your neck. One of his hands came down over yours, his fingers slowly, carefully, holding your hand still, Polaroid in your grasp.ย
His touch was warm, his grip firm but not yet painful. His other arm braced on the dresser beside you, completing the trap. You felt the lean, hard line of his body against your back, and the scent of cedar and burnt sugar wrapped around you.
โDidnโt peg you for the snooping type,โ he murmured, tone almost amused but lined with steel. โYou like this one that much?โ
You swallowed, eyes darting to the red glowing ones in the reflection. He was closer now; his leg brushed the back of your thigh. His other arm rose, bracing against the dresser beside you, sealing off your escape without ever making it feel like you were trapped.
Think. You needed a lie. Just a small one.
Something believable. Something that wouldnโt make him look deeper. Because if Avon even suspected what you were really doingโcataloging, observing, collectingโheโd know. And predicting him, heโd tear the truth apart piece by piece until there was nothing left but nerves and confession.
โI was justโฆโ You lead off, keeping your eyes on the mirror instead of him. โAdmiring the pictures on your dresser.โ
You tilted your head slightly, feigning nonchalance, though your pulse throbbed in your throat. โDidnโt expect you to be the sentimental type, Avon.โ The words sounded almost casual. Almost.
You just hoped heโd take the bait.
Avonโs hum was low, almost pleased. The Polaroid slipped easily from your hand, his thumb tracing its edge. โSentimental,โ he said at last, the word slow, as though he was trying it out on his tongue.
โThatโs one way to put it.โ
His reflection caught yours in the mirror. That half-smirk yet something was softer nowโhis eyes didnโt cut through you this time, they drifted, weighing, circling.
He was either buying it or enjoying watching you think he was.
โThatโs Jonesy,โ he said finally, tone flat but edged with something faintly familiar.
โJonesy?โ you echoed.
His lips twitched, the smallest movement. โRenรฉe,โ he clarified, eyes flicking back to the photograph. โThe one I mentioned on our date...โ He didn't say anything after that.
โSheโsโโ you began, faltering halfway through. โSheโs beautiful.โ
Avon tilted his head, the faintest ghost of a smile tugging at his mouth as though heโd already heard it all before. โYeah,โ he said, voice low, almost reverent. โShe is.โ His tone hadnโt wavered, however, something in itโflat, coldโfelt like a quiet lock sliding into place.
โSheโs my girlfriend.โ
There it was. The cherry on top.
A reveal that made everything click into focusโevery look, every line, every little thing you thought you were beginning to understand about him. You didnโt flinch. Your expression stayed smooth, practiced, the kind of stillness that could be mistaken for grace. But under the calm, your thoughts tangled, rewinding and replaying that one wordโgirlfriend.
Of course, he had one.
Of course, a man like Avonโhandsome, reckless, magneticโwould. Someone like that doesnโt belong to anyone.
Men like him never do.
Still, it struck a nerve you hadnโt realized was exposed. Because if he was takenโif he hadย herโthen what wasย this? What hadย youย been walking into? You exhaled softly, precisely. The lace hem of your dress brushed against your thigh like a reminder to stay grounded, to keep your composure intact.
But a new form of your old question lingered.
Why would Avonโsomeone who moved with such purpose, who seemed so in controlโcheatย on her? Like, was it boredom? Thrill? Or maybe something darker, something that made him lean into the forbidden just to feel alive again.
He stepped back slightly, a reflexive move, sensing the subtle change in the air. You could feel his gaze travel, catching on the shimmer of your lip gloss, the measured rhythm of your breathing.
โSomethinโ wrong?โ he asked, voice low, cautious now.
Your smile came slow and careful. โNothing,โ you said, tone smooth enough to convince anyone else.
But you saw the truth in the mirrorโs reflectionโthe faint pull at the corner of your mouth, the precise control over your every movement. Youโd been trained to notice tells like that in othersโฆ and now, your body had become its own study in restraint.
You looked down at the Polaroid.
Youโd never met her in person, but you could read her.ย
A careful tilt of the head, a line of the shoulders, the slight tension of her fingers in the photoโall evidence of someone who had been burned and had learned the art of concealment. A life of unsteady foundations, perhaps mirrored by Avonโs own chaos.ย
The trajectory of their bond was clear without inquiry: comments that turned into DMs, perhaps late night phone calls spilling into the night, hours of unfiltered, unguarded conversation.ย
Two fractured people, resonating with echoes of the trauma theyโd survived. Broken mirrors reflecting one another, as you analyzed quietly from your endโthe curse and the blessing both:
To seeย everythingย from a single picture.
It's simple, Renรฉe wasnโt just another womanโshe isย his. His pattern. His stability in the storm he called living. She fit into him like a completed equation, all jagged edges smoothed into sense.
And you?
You have a chance to get out.
The logical thing to do was so clear it almost hurt: go home, shut off your phone, block his number, text Z that everything went south, and you were done. You could picture itโthrowing yourself into bed, lights off, pretending none of this had ever brushed against you.
But you wouldnโt get that lucky.
Even if you vanished, Avon wouldnโt let it end like that. Heโd take it personallyโmen always did. They hated losing control, hated being told no, hated when something soft slipped through their fingers.
Youโd seen it before.
Studied it. Dissected it. Resented it.
Avonโs mind didnโt work in shadesโit operated in categories. Precision built from chaos. You could see the system forming now, the quiet rhythm in how his eyes lingered, how his voice shifted when he spoke to certain people. His version of control wasnโt about affection; it was about placement.
Love. Boredom. Hatred.
Three boxes. Three outcomes.
Love, to him, was possessionโa rare find he had to own. Heโd pull you close, drown you in his attention until you forgot where you ended and he began. The kind of love that made you crave the same hands that could break orโฆ kill you.
Hatred came nextโpurging what he couldnโt control. Once beauty turned sharp, he had to ruin it just to prove he could
And boredomโฆ boredom was mercy. The only state that left you breathing. Forgotten, irrelevant, safe in his indifference.
So the equation was simple: make yourself uninteresting.
You sighed, tucking your irritation behind a polite calm. โAvon,โ you said, voice even, detached. โHere. Sorry for touching your pictures."
You handed him the Polaroid.
He turned it over slowly, thumb brushing the edge before setting it carefully back on the dresser. โYou know,โ he said, almost lazily, โmost people donโt notice the pictures. Too busy staring at themselves in the mirror.โ
You forced a small exhale. โGuess Iโm not most people.โ
His reflection caught yoursโeyes sharp, assessing. โNo,โ he said finally, leaning just close enough that his breath whispered across your skin.
For a half second, your pulse skipped. Then the walls rose again. You smiled faintly, empty of warmth. โWe should leave,โ you said. โAfter all, the cameraโs waiting.โ
He laughed quietly. โYouโre weird as hell, you know that?โ
You met his gaze, distant. โIโve been called worse.โ
Then he tilted his head, a sly gleam in his red eyes. โI feel likeโฆ You should meet Renรฉe sometime.โ
Your chest tightened. You froze, hand brushing your dress as the lace whispered along your ankles. โI donโt think thatโsโฆ a good idea,โ you said carefully, forcing a calm tone. After all, she was his girlfriend, and youโwell, you werenโt meant to be part of that. No woman would like the idea of someone else dangling around their man, no matter how โcuteโ or harmless you were.
He smirked. โCome on, sheโll love a cutie like you.โ
You rolled your eyes, the ghost of a smirk tugging at your lips despite yourself. The thought of Reneeโs kindness, her ease, was almostโฆ nice. A change of pace compared to Avonโs chaos.
But you didnโt fall for that trap.
Not now, not ever. "I'll think about it..." You brushed it off, turning fully toward the exit, letting the whisper of lace and the cool quiet of the room remind you where your focus had to stay. You were done. Let him grow tired. Let him move on.
You werenโt his subject.
He. was. yours.
By the time you and Avon stepped beneath the soft light of the studio bathroom setup, it was as if the previous conversation hadnโt happened. Emotion off, professionalism on.
You needed to focusโon the shoot, on the poses, on anything that wasnโt him or what youโd just learned. So you thought about your board, the one youโd made last night when sleep wouldnโt come. Every tilt of the chin, every bend of the wrist, every glance designed to say enough but not too much.ย
Nothing cute. Nothing suggestive. Just precise.
Avon adjusted the tripod in silence. You could hear the faint scrape of its legs against the tile, the hum of the lens as he checked the focus. The small, technical sounds filled the room, heavy in the still air.
You stepped into the center of the frame, where the light hit cleanest. Lace whispered against skin as you shifted your stanceโblack on pale, shadow on glow. Shoulders back. Chin down. Eyes fixed on the empty space just past the camera.
The first click broke the quiet.
Through the lens, Avon froze.ย
There was a hollow stillness staring back at him. Your eyesโonce curious, aliveโlooked carefully void. Not dead, not quite. Just the kind of empty that takes years to polish. The kind that comes from exhaustion disguised as elegance.
Avon lowered the camera slightly, his expression unreadable. But you could feel itโthe shift, the attention. The way his gaze crawled over you, curious and dissecting, as if he were trying to decode something you hadnโt meant to show.
Click. Click. Click.
Avon adjusted angles. You adjusted expression.
For a heartbeat, it wasnโt about taking pictures anymore. It was a standoff. His gaze, red eyes, and intent, locked on yours through the glass. The air held its breath. Then you exhaled softly, your composure falling back into place like armor. โLetโs keep going, please,โ you murmured, voice steady, cool.
Avon didnโt move. His lips twitchedโalmost a smirkโbut there was something cautious underneath. He finally lowered the camera and turned the screen toward you.
โYour eyes in the pictuers,โ he said quietly. โThey look dead inside.โ
You looked at the image. The lighting was perfect. The lace flawless. The pose ideal. But he was rightโyour eyes were beautiful in a way that didnโt feel alive. A perfect, haunting shell. โThey look alright to me,โ you said finally, tone even, almost bored.
โTheyโre vacant,โ he countered, stepping closer. โLike youโre performing for someone who doesnโt exist.โ
You didnโt flinch. Didnโt look away. Just stared past him, through him, at the version of yourself on the screen. You gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. โLetโs continue.โ
And so you did.
You didnโt move when he spoke.
Avon had been circling you like a restless animalโno, more like a puppy pretending to be a wolf. He didnโt seem to know what to do with the silence youโd wrapped around yourself like armor.
Every few seconds, heโd shift something that didnโt need shiftingโthe angle of the light, the focus of the lens, the strap of his camera. None of it mattered. He just needed to do something while you stayed perfectly still.
You could tell it unnerved him.
โYouโre very still,โ he said finally, breaking the quiet. His tone tried for teasing, but it came out softer, cautious. โBarely breathing.โ
He waited for a reaction. You gave him none.
He leaned a little closer, voice dipping into that usual mocking edge. โWhatโs wrong? Camera got you shy?โ
Nothing. Not a word. Not even a twitch.
Your stillness wasnโt dramaticโit was careful. Youโd shut down, not out of fear or spite, but because there was nothing left to say. You didnโt owe him a performance. That realization alone felt like power.
Avon, apparently, didnโt like that.
His brow furrowed slightly, and he circled again, trying to recapture whatever current had been humming between you before. He adjusted the light a second time. Then the tripod. Then the camera. Each motion sharper than the last, more frustrated than precise.
It wasโฆ kind of funny.ย
He didnโt even realize it, but there was something boyish about the way he kept tryingโlike a confused puppy trying to make sense of why its favorite toy suddenly stopped squeaking. Why werenโt you acting the way he expectedโflustered, nervous, maybe defensive?
Instead, you were poised.
It unsettled him more than heโd ever admit.
Then came the next setup. Youโd planned this one in advanceโblood on skin, something raw and striking for the series. โIโll need your help,โ youโd said simply. He hadnโt questioned it. Not out loud.
When he knelt in front of you, the air changed again. You sat perfectly still, legs folded beneath you, back straight, hands resting loosely on your thighs. The light framed you like an offering.
He dipped his fingers into the shallow dish of fake blood, the liquid dark and viscous under the soft glow. โYou good there?โ he murmured again, quieter this timeโdifferent.
โYeah, just chillin',โ you replied, voice steady, soft as thread.
The first touch was coldโstartlingly so. You didnโt flinch. He started at your forhead, dragging a slow, careful line down your cheek. The texture of it clung faintly to your skin, and still you didnโt move.
He painted you methodically, tracing the slope of your jaw, the column of your throat, his movements so precise they almost felt reverent. The chill of the blood faded into warmth beneath his touch. When his fingers brushed over your pulse, his hand lingered just a fraction too long.
Everywhere the lace of your dress exposed you, he marked youโcollarbone, shoulders, the shallow dip at the base of your neck. The color bled like art against your skin.
Then his thumb found your lips again.
You inhaled, barely audible. His hand moved slow, almost careful, smearing the crimson along the curve of your mouth until the faintest pressure coaxed your lips apart. You could taste itโiron and sugar, faint and strange on your tongue.
He didnโt stop right away.
You could feel Avonโs gaze drag over you.
Heโd just finished smearing the last trace of fake blood along your collarbone, the touch impersonal but lingering just long enough to make you wonder if he enjoyed testing boundaries as much as you suspected.
When he finally stepped back, you exhaled quietly, adjusting the way the air left your lungs, steady and controlled. He, however, lookedโฆ dissatisfied.
โThere,โ he said finally, voice clipped. โPerfect.โ
You opened your eyes just in time to catch him studying you from across the roomโhands in his pockets, shoulders relaxed in that deceptively lazy way that meant anything but calm. His expression was unreadable, though you could feel the irritation beneath it.
Then, without warning, he moved again.
Then the clatter of metal against his ring echoed faintly before something cold brushed your palm. You blinked, looking down.
A knifeโwait, a knife?
You froze, the cold metal brushing your palm sending a tiny shiver up your spine. Your eyes snapped to his, then back down at the blade, utterly dumbfounded. โโฆWhy exactly are you handing me a knife?โ Your voice stayed level, but the flicker of disbelief in your eyes betrayed you.
Avon tilted his head, that familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth like heโd been waiting for this very question. โItโll photograph better,โ he said casually, eyes scanning you as if he already knew your reaction. โLight, reflection, contrast. Adds texture.โ
You blinked. Just when you thought it couldnโt get more absurd, he added, almost offhandedly, โAlsoโฆ maybe itโll help with your dullness.โ
โMyโฆ dullness?โ you repeated, arching a brow, the edge sharp enough to cut through the air between you.
He shrugged, so casual it was infuriating. โYour faceโs a little flat today. Expressionless. Thought Iโd give you someโฆ inspiration.โ
You didn't a word, more like frowned a bit confused
โOh, donโt pout,โ he said, stepping closer, voice lowering so that the edge of it brushed against your cheek. โYouโre cute when you pretend you donโt care.โ
Heat pooled low in your chest, a mixture of irritation andโannoyingโawareness. You tilted your head, lifting the knife lightly by the handle and spinning it between your fingers with absolute control, matching the sharp cadence of his tease without breaking composure.
Inside, you wanted to snap something back, to set him straight, to remind him he wasnโt the one steering this sceneโbut you couldnโt.ย
That wasnโt part of the plan.ย
โOkayโฆโ you murmured, fingers still curled lightly around the handle, weighing the cold steel against your palm. You moved slightly, letting the blade catch the light, the steel glinting across the lace brushing your wrist.ย
Yet Avon wasnโt done. Of course he wasnโt.
You had agreed to use the knife, held it exactly how heโd wantedโangled toward the light, the reflection kissing along the bladeโs edge like a whisper. It shouldโve ended there. Itย couldโveย ended there.
But Avon never knew when to stop.
He circled you again, camera in hand now, snapping frame after frame with that insufferably calm voice guiding you like you were some kind of doll.
โTurn your chin.โ He said, โGood.โ Then โEyes on me.โ
He paused, a grin ghosting over his lips. โTry not to look so bored, sweetheart. Youโre holding a knife, not a teacup.โ
Your grip tightened ever so slightly. โYou really like testing limits, donโt you?โ
โOnly when itโs fun,โ he said, too quickly, like it was a reflex. He tilted his head, eyes gleaming. โAnd you make itย very fun.โ
You exhaled through your nose, steady. Controlled. He wanted a reactionโthat was his game. Always pushing, always provoking. But then he leaned in again, lowering his voice near your ear, close enough for the warmth of his breath to ghost over your neck. โMaybe if youย feltย something,โ he murmured, โyour face wouldnโt be so flat.โ
That was it.
Without a word, you set the knife down. Calmly. He was still talking when you reached for the bucket of fake blood beside the prop tableโheavy, cold, sticky with dried residue around the rim.
He turned just in time to catch your expressionโperfectly neutral, serene. Thatย shouldโveย been his warning.
Then you tilted the entire bucket forward.
A thick crimson wave cascaded over his head, soaking into his hair, shirt, the floorโeverywhere. It splattered across the backdrop, the props, even your own boots.
Avon froze. For a full two seconds, broken only by the slow dripโฆ dripโฆ drip of blood-red liquid from his body onto the plastic-covered tiles. You looked down at him, your own chest heaving, your lace dress now spattered with fresh crimson.
ThenโโโฆYou didnโt.โ
You blinked up at him, innocent. โOh, I did.โ
He wiped his face with the back of his hand, blinking through the mess, an incredulous laugh escaping him. โYouย poured fake blood on me.โ
You tilted your head, the faintest smile playing at your lips. โYou said it adds texture.โ
That shut him up. For a heartbeat, neither of you movedโjust stared. He, dripping and red-streaked, eyes dark with disbelief and reluctant amusement.
You, calm and perfectly composed, the faintest glint of triumph hidden beneath your lashes.
Then he broke. A soft, breathless laugh, shaking his head. โYouโre out of your damn mind.โ And instead of getting mad, Avon justโฆ smiled. That crooked, dangerous kind of smile that said youโd just handed him something he could play with.
โYโknow,โ he said, voice roughened by amusement, โthis might actuallyย work.โ
You frowned. โWhat?โ
He started lfiting his shirt. Slowly. The fabric peeled away from his skin, revealing the trail of red liquid staining the sharp lines of his collarbones, the curve of his shoulders, the faint muscle shifting under each movement.
โAvon,โ you said flatly, โwhat the hell are you doing?โ You staredโmomentarily frozenโas he tossed the ruined shirt aside.ย
The reveal was breathtaking.ย
His back was a canvas of lean, defined muscle, sculpted and deep brown skin in the dim light. And there, just above the waistband of his low-slung jeans, was a tattoo. A detailed, tramp stamp, of all thingsโetched into the small of his back.ย
It was utterly ridiculous and, God help you, the most erotic thing youโd ever seen. A wave of pure, unadulterated jealousy hit youโnot for a person, but for the sheer perfection of his waist, the elegant taper of his back that made your fingers itch to trace it.
He turned back around, and the grin on his face was pure, unashamed sin. He knew the effect he was having. He took a step toward you, then another, moving with the predatory grace of a panther, each inch closing the distance with agonizing slowness. It was a tease, a silent promise of the dominance he was so clearly yearning to reclaim.
You could see it in the dark intent in his eyes, in the way he leaned in. Just as he knelt before you, he says, โImprovising.โ He wiped at his temple, smearing more red across his cheek like war paint. โIf Iโm already covered, might as well make it art.โ
โArt,โ you repeated, dry.
โMhm.โ He picked up the knife youโd set down earlier, twirling it between his fingers with practiced ease. โYou wanted texture. Emotion. Contrast. Guess weโre both getting what we wanted.โ He moved closer, โYou poured blood on me,โ he said softly, still smiling. โIโd say that qualifies as a collaboration.โ
You crossed your arms, trying not to react, but your pulse betrayed youโhammering traitorously in your throat. โHa. Youโre insane.โ
โMaybe.โ He stopped just in front of you, the faint scent of cedar, iron, and his cologne cutting through the air. โBut you started it.โ
You opened your mouth to respondโbut then he lifted the camera again, the flash half-raised, his eyes gleaming with challenge. โCโmon,โ he murmured, voice low. โYou made this mess, pretty thing. Letโs make it worth it.โ
Fuck, you really had shot yourself in the foot.
His laugh turned into a smirk, raising the camera, eyes tracing your figure. The way youโd thrown the blood over him, it wasnโt messyโit was theatrical, perfect for the aesthetic.ย
He positioned the camera carefully, but his gaze flicked to yours repeatedly, trying to parse your intent, your mood.
You held your stance, knife angled gracefully, one hand on your hip, the other resting lightly on the handle. Your expression was blank, unreadable, yet every line of your body screamed tension, control, and performance.ย
You werenโt letting him pull a reaction out of youโnot completely. But the thrill, the rush of danger, lingered, coiling tightly in your gut like live wire.
Click.
The shutter echoed. You caught yourself watching his eyes behind the lens, the subtle twitch of his brow as he angled the shot.ย
You moved slowly, carefuly, tilting your head just so, letting the faint shimmer of gloss on your lips catch the light. Blood streaked across your lace, painting both of you as a single, dark tableau. The knife reflected it in glints, almost like a beacon.
Another click.
Avonโs breathing had shifted, a little heavier, unsteadyโnot from fear, but from the surge of adrenaline, from the exhilaration of unpredictability. He lowered the camera for a moment, eyes locked on yours. โYouโฆ youโre something else,โ he murmured, voice low, roughened with approval and disbelief.
He slowly lifted his gaze to yours, and a shaky, incredulous laugh escaped him. "I didn't think you'd..." he began, his voice rough, trailing off as his eyes, still that shocking, luminous red, traveled the length of your body to your defiant face.ย
"That's... wow." The admiration in his tone was genuine, stripped of all pretense. You had shattered his expectations, and the pieces were more beautiful than the whole.
Then, the artist reasserted itself. The shock in his eyes hardened into a new, more intense focus. "Now," he said, his voice a low thrum that seemed to vibrate up from the tile floor into your bones.
"Lie down for me."
Wait, whatโฆ? The command was so sudden, so absolute, it short-circuited your brain. You tilted your head, a single, elegant brow arching in cool inquiry. "Excuse me, how exactly?"
He gestured with a flick of his wrist, a vague, motion that encompassed the floor. "On your back. Legs up, bent at the knees." His eyes narrowed, looking at you with a smirk.
Yet, you remained perfectly still, a statue in lace and drying blood. Your mind, usually so swift to decode and categorize, raced through the geometries of power and submission.
Seeing your hesitation, a dark, patient smile touched his blood-smeared lips. He didn't explain further. He didn't need to.
Instead, he moved you.
His hands were on you again, but this was different from the desperate clutch of moments before. His palm was a firm, warm pressure between your shoulder blades, guiding you down until your back met the shocking cold of the tile. The contrast to the feverish heat building under your skin was a jolt, a sensory overload that left you breathless.
His fingers, slick with blood, wrapped around your ankle. The touch was impersonal, yet it burned. He lifted your leg, bending it at the knee, positioning it with an artist's precision. Then the other. He arranged your limbs as if you were a prized doll, your knees falling open in a silent, profoundly provocative invitation.ย
You were being composed, your body turned into a sentence he was writing.
Then his hands found your wrists. His grip was firm, guiding your hands to rest, one over the other, on your chestโa gesture of modesty that, in this context, felt like the most immodest, exposing thing you had ever done.ย
Your palms pressed down against the frantic, traitorous beat of your own heart, as if you could physically contain the wild rhythm.
He loomed over you, blotting out the light, a magnificent, blood-soaked god. The camera in his hand. "Now," he murmured, his voice dropping to a husky whisper that was for you alone.ย
"Look up at me. Not at the lens. At me."
You obeyed. Your head was cradled by the hard floor, your gaze lifting to meet his. And you gave him the look he wanted. Your eyes, which had been hollowed out by self-control, now swam with a feigned softness, a meticulously manufactured vulnerability.
The parted lips, the slight widening of the eyes, the subtle tilt of the chinโit was the perfect picture of yielding beauty.
In your mind, a single, desperate thought echoed, a mantra against the tide of sensation.
You were still in control. You always were.
Rightโฆ?
The question was a fragile shield, a last, desperate incantation against the truth staring down at you. And Avon was staring, his gaze a physical weight. His chest rose and fell in a rhythm that had begun to sync with your own, a silent, terrifying intimacy.ย
His red eyes saw past the artful composition of your limbs, past the feigned softness in your gaze, straight down to the raw, trembling nerve he had exposed. In that moment, your control felt like a costume you were wearing inside out, all seams and rough edges.
Your thoughts, hummed faintly through your veins as you caught yourself thinking:ย
How many times have you been here?ย
On this exact knifeโs edge? How many moments have you been this close to a point of no return, only to retreat behind higher walls?
And in that moment, the artist in him died, replaced by the predator. He was no longer composing a scene; he was entering it. He carefully reached out, his fingersโthose long, precise fingers that had positioned you with such clinical authorityโnow moving to brush a stray strand of hair from your blood-smeared cheek.
โYouโre cute when you pretend you donโt care.โ
Your eyes snapped wide. A switch flipped.
It wasn't a thought. It was pure, feral instinct.
Your hand shot up, not to block his, but to grab his wrist. Your grip was iron, your fingers digging into the tendon and bone. You saw the shock register in his eyes a split second before you moved. In the same fluid, violent motion, you rolled, using his own weight and his surprise as a lever.
The world spun in a dizzying whirl of black lace and crimson eyes. A grunt was punched from his lungs as his back slammed into the tiled wall, his head connecting with a dull thud.
In a heartbeat, the photo shoot was over.
You were on top. Straddling his lap, your knees digging into his hips, pinning him to the cold, unforgiving floor. The sharp kitchen knife heโd given you for the shoot was now in your hand, the cool, flat of the blade pressed firmly against the pulsing hollow of his throat, right over the frantic, living proof of his mortality.
Silence.
It was absolute, broken only by the ragged, synchronized saw of your breathing. Your chest heaved, making the lace of your bodice strain. His hands came up, not to fight, but to hover in the air, a gesture of surrender that felt like the most profound mockery.ย
You leaned in, your face inches from his. Your blood-smeared lips were a hair's breadth from his mouth.
โDonโt,โ you breathed, the word a hot, sharp warning against his skin. โEver presume to touch me like I belong to you.โ
His head was tilted back, forced against the wall by the pressure of your body and the threat at his throat. But his eyesโฆ his red eyes held no fear. They burned with a feral, thrilling light. A slow, dangerous tried smile spread across his face, a bead of sweat tracing a path down his temple.
โAh there you are,โ he rasped, his voice gravelly from the pressure on his windpipe. โIโve been wondering when youโd drop the unusual actโif only a little.โ
You shifted slightly, letting him see the control you claimed, your posture still, your gaze unwavering. Yet inside, the pull of proximity, the intimacy of being studied so openly, made your chest tighten.ย
You werenโt supposed to feel this wayโnot for him.ย
Not for anyone.
He leaned just enough to study your expression, one hand brushing past a loose strand of hair, careful, teasingโnot touching, not crossing lines, but entirely present.ย
Avonโs smile was a sharp, knowing thing. He let out a low, choked laugh. โEasy, killer,โ he rasped, his hands still held placatingly in the air. โNo sudden moves. See?โ He slowly, carefully, brought one hand down to rest it lightly on your hip. โJustโฆ talking.โ
You pressed the blade a fraction closer. A silent warning.
He rolled his eyes, a gesture of profound, theatrical exasperation. โOh, come on. This isnโt control. This is a script. The same one you always run.โ His gaze was a physical weight, pinning you more effectively than your body ever could pin him.ย
โYou get uneasy when people get too close.โ He started.ย
โNot because youโre afraid of them, but because youโre terrified of what you might feel. So you lock it all away. No one gets to see. Not even you.โ
Your breath hitched, eyes widened.
โYou were like this from the start,โ he continued, his voice a low, relentless probe. โThat night at the warehouse, even drunk out of your mind, there was a piece of you that was still standing off, watching me, calculating the risk. But a deeper partโฆ a part youโll never admit existsโฆ let me help you. You let me steady you.โ
He was using your own methods against youโobservation, analysis, the cold dissection of motive. It was a violation.
Avonโs voice was low, steadyโtoo steady. โThen our little date in the cemetery?โ he asked, eyes locked on yours. โYou talked about beliefs, the weird metaphysical shit, gave me actual advice and understood me and personal shit, but you never gave me anything real. Not about you.โ
He tilted his head, studying every flicker of expression. โLet me guess, youโre treat family like this huh? Even friendsโyou keep them at a safe, planned distance. You think I didnโt notice?โ
Your jaw tightened. โYouโre overanalyzing.โ
Avon exhaled through his nose, slow and steady,โFunny,โ he murmured, โcoming from you.โ His voice softened, a low hum that slipped beneath your skin. โYou hide behind theories and patterns because theyโre safer than people. You treat emotions like foreign chemicalsโsomething to observe, not feel. You turn connection into research. Itโsโฆ cute, actually.โ
โCute?โ You nearly spat the word, but your tone faltered.
He tilted his head, a faint smile tugging at his mouth. โYeah. Cute. Because you try so damn hard to act untouchable, but itโs all theater, isnโt it?โ His eyes narrowed, taking you inโevery subtle tremor in your breathing, the way your hand flexed at your side. โYouโre not cold. Youโve got too much feeling in you. Youโre just scared youโll drown in it if you ever let go.โ
Your throat went tight. You stared at him, lips parting as if to answer, but nothing came.
He continued, voice steady, dissecting without cruelty nowโjust an unnervingly accurate precision. โYou learned early that love was supposed to be pure, sacred. And when it wasnโtโwhen it came with shouting, or distance, or silenceโyou decided the safest way to protect it was to keep it locked up. So now you test people. You hold them under the microscope, waiting to see if theyโll contaminate whatโs left of your ideals.โ
โPlease stop,โ you whispered, but he didnโt.
โYour way of processing feelingsโitโs so childlike it almost hurts to watch,โ he said softly, not unkindly. โYou think love should be all or nothing. Safe or dangerous. Right or wrong. But thatโs not real, is it?โ He smiled faintly, like he almost pitied you. โYou crave intimacy so bad you ache for it, and the second it gets too close, you panic. You fold yourself back into logic, into the safe little shell of control.โ
You couldnโt breathe.ย
Every word was an incision.ย
You wanted to hate him for it, but there was no malice in his toneโjust this disarming, almost tender understanding that made your chest hurt worse.
You wished your phone was within reach. You needed Z. Her voice, her sarcasm, that grounding calm she always carried like armor. But she was probably off somewhere getting free dinner from some guy or doing god knows what. And sheโd warned youโso many timesโnot to do this. Not to let this man crawl into your head.
So why did you?
You bit your lip, the sting barely keeping you anchored. The tears came before you could stop them, hot and humiliating. You hadnโt cried in front of anyone in years. It felt like being skinned alive.
Avon watched. Not with triumph, not even surpriseโjust a quiet, unnerving stillness. The sharp lines of his face softened as his gaze followed the tears tracking down your cheeks.
โAh, hell,โ he muttered, dragging a hand through his hair. His tone shiftedโlower, heavier. โDonโt do that.โ
He reached out before you could pull away. His hand covered yours, steadying the trembling fingers still wrapped around the knife. Slowly, carefully, he pried it from your grasp. The sound of it clattering against the floor was oddly final.
โI get it now,โ he said quietly, eyes flicking up to meet yours. โYou thought I was cheating on Renรฉe, didnโt you?โ
You stared past him, silent.
The guilt churned in your stomach, bitter and ugly.
โShe and Iโweโre open,โ he continued. His thumb rubbed a small, absent circle on the back of your hand. โItโs not what you think.โ
The words didnโt make you feel better.ย
They just made you feel stupid.
Avonโs lips quirked into a faint, crooked smile. โYou know,โ he murmured, โyouโre so damn lucky I find you cute when youโre like this. Otherwise, I mightโve actually taken offense at the knife stunt.โ
Your breath hitched, torn between anger and embarrassment. You turned your face away, refusing to look at him.
โHey hey. Dont ignore me,โ he said softly. โCโmon. At least look at me, dove.โ
You didnโt. You sat there, cheeks puffed slightly in quiet defiance, refusing to react even as tears continued to stain your face.
Avon chuckled under his breath, โYouโre sooo ridiculous,โ he said, his tone caught somewhere between fondness and frustration. โAnd cute at the same time. Do you even realize how hard youโre trying right now? To hold it together, to act like none of this affects you? Itโs adorable. Sad, but adorable.โ
You wanted to tell him to shut up.ย
You wanted to shove him away. Instead, you just sat there, small and trembling, pretending you didnโt hear him.
He sighed again and reached out, brushing his thumb gently along your cheek, catching a tear before it fell. โI canโt even imagine what youโve been through,โ he said quietly. โTo make you this afraid of being seen.โ His gaze softened.
The compliment broke something loose in you.
It was too sincere, too knowing.
His touch lingeredโwarm, grounding. His hand slid from your cheek to your jaw, tracing the line down to your throat, then stopped, resting lightly, never crossing a boundary. His red eyes stayed locked on yours.
โYou shouldnโt have to go through everything alone,โ he said finally. His brows knit together, and for once there was no mockery in his expressionโjust quiet, human concern.
Then, his mouth curved into that faint, familiar smirk, though it didnโt quite reach his eyes. โI could always be there for you, yโknow,โ he murmured, voice low, intimate. His hand drifted, resting against your thigh, fingers curling slightly.
โOrโฆ more. If youโre into that.โ
You stared at him, heartbeat thundering in your ears.
โAfter all,โ he whispered, his gaze dropping to your lips, โyou want me. Right, dove?โ
The silence stretched.ย You didnโt answer. Couldnโt.
Your mindโthe fortress youโd built from logic and analysisโwas white noise. All you could do was breathe, barely, as everything inside you tangled into one unbearable knot of want and fear.
Avon didnโt say anything at first.ย
He just looked at youโreally looked at youโwith that quiet, unreadable intensity of his. Then, without asking, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead. It was so gentle it almost hurt. A ghost of warmth against your skin, grounding and disarming in equal measure.
โYou donโt have to answer,โ he murmured, his voice a low hum against the chaos in your head. โNot right now.โ
And maybe that was what finally broke you. The tenderness. The patience. The fact that he could sit thereโdrenched in fake blood, hair plastered to his temples, chest rising with slowโand still choose to be gentle.
You did, in fact, want him.
After all, Analysis had failed you. Logic had failed you.
You stared at him, really staredโthe kind of look that strips everything down to nerve and thought. The light caught his eyes, and for a moment, you noticed itโthe faint, concentric rings around his irises. The kind of detail youโd only catch when someone was too close, when youโd let your guard slip just enough to forget where the line was.
Avon froze mid-step, the smirk flickering like a glitch before returningโcool, practiced, but not fast enough to hide the fracture in between. You tilted your head slightly, studying him the way heโd studied you. The way he always did.
And thatโs when it hit youโhow maddeningly alike you were.
He hides behind control; you hide behind indifference.
He pokes, you withdraw. He provokes, you analyze.
Two sides of the same damn mirror, both terrified of being seen for what you actually are. It was absurdโhow much he reminded you of every contradiction youโd ever built yourself from.
The Cruelty and the Curiosity.
A hollow, trembling laugh escaped before you could stop it. The sound didnโt belong to the version of you that played calmโit was cracked, unsteady, almost deranged in its honesty. โYou know whatโs funny?โ you murmured, voice low, like you were confessing to something sacred. โYou act like youโve got everyone figured outโbut you donโt even know yourself.โ
He tilted his head, eyes narrowing, the tension between you thinning into something electric. โAnd you do?โ
You smiled faintly, a little curve of your mouth. โI donโt need to.โ
Youโd both gone too far to pretend anymore.
Slowly, you lowered your head, your entire focus narrowing to a single point: Avon. His red eyes, wide and stunned, stared directly into yours, the usual mockery wiped clean, replaced by a shock so profound it was almost vulnerability.
Your hands, which had been fisted against his blood-slicked chest in a desperate bid for distance, unclenched. But they didn't push him away.
This was your choice.
Your palms slid upward, a slow, careful journey over the hard planes of his chest, feeling the frantic beat of his heart beneath your touch. They moved over the curve of his shoulders, until your fingers could finally thread into the dark, silken hair at the nape of his neck. It was unexpectedly, infuriatingly soft.
You shifted your weight on his lap, a low, testing roll of your hips that was pure, unadulterated provocation. The movement pressed the cradle of your body more firmly against the hard, undeniable evidence of his arousal, drawing a sharp, ragged gasp from him that he tried and failed to suppress.
Your eyes met his, and in their depths, there was no fiery passion, no soft surrender. Your gaze was unnervingly steady, a calm sea hiding a devastating undertow.
For a breathtaking second, Avon was utterly, completely still. The taunting amusement, the analytical gleamโit all vanished, wiped clean by a wave of pure, unguarded shock.
The air left his lungs in a silent rush. He had been so sure of the script. He expected tears, a breakdown, a crumbling that would allow him to be the anchor. He was prepared for you to fall apart in his arms.
He was not prepared for you to set the whole damn script on fire.
You didnโt give him a chance to recover. You closed the distance, your blood-smeared lips meeting his in a kiss that was devastatingly gentle at first. It was a soft, plush press, a question and an answer all at once, a silent fuck you to every word heโd used to call you out.ย
You truly, simply, did not care anymore.
His response was a shudder that wracked his entire frame. For a single, suspended moment, he was frozen, tasting the paradox of your softness and your defiance. Then, he broke. A guttural sound ripped from his throat, and his arms banded around you, one hand splaying against the small of your back to crush you against him, the other tangling in your hair. The gentle kiss shattered, transforming into something reckless and starved.
All at once, he caught your mouth in his, and his lips grew hungry, harder, pressing with a desperate intensity. Your lips parted, letting him in, and the kiss became a messy, frantic exchange, bordering on desperation. It was feverish, the way his teeth bit your bottom lip, not to hurt, but to demand more.
ย It was as if he wanted to devour you whole, to consume the very essence of the contradiction you wereโthe sweet, untouchable cherry heโd been desperate to taste, now staining his lips with its bitter, addictive juice.
Between frantic, searing kisses, his voice was a ragged mumble against your mouth, his breath hot and shared. "I like your weird ass... f-fuck, I like that about you." His hand slid from your back to cup your jaw, his thumb stroking your cheek as his lips claimed yours again, deeper.ย
"You... you actually try. You look at me, at all of... this," he gasped, meaning the blood, the darkness, the chaos, "and you don't even judge. You just... learn. You just want to learn, huh?.โ
You laughed gently, a breathless, broken sound against his hungry mouth. โYou can say thatโฆโ you managed, your own hands gripping his shoulders, holding on as the world spun.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his crimson eyes blazing with a terrifying, beautiful truth. "Then I'm the cherry on top, right, dove?โ he breathed, his voice thick with want and wicked amusement.ย "The bitter part that makes the sweet so much sweeter."
In that moment, something changed.
The passion didn't cool, but it sharpened, focusing into a single, crystalline point of understanding. Your hand, which had been tangled in his hair, slid down. Your fingers found the cool hilt of the knife still lying beside you on the floor. Without breaking the feverish kiss, you brought it up, not as a threat, but as a promise.
You held the flat of the blade against the side of his face, a chilling caress alongside the heat of your bodies. He stilled for a moment, his breathing harsh, his eyes searching yours. And he saw it thereโnot fear, not anger, but a perfect, matching madness.
A slow, dark smile spread across his kiss-swollen lips. He understood. Yandere matched yandere.ย
Freak recognized freak.
He leaned into the cold steel, his gaze never leaving yours.ย
"Yeah," he whispered, his voice a vow. "Just like that."ย
And then his mouth found yours againโno hesitation this time, no careful testing of boundaries. It was hunger and defiance and something dangerously close to surrender. The kiss deepened, a collision of breath and want, of restraint giving way to need.
It felt like tasting ruin and calling it love, like two poisons blending into something intoxicating enough to almost feel pure.
You fit together in the way fire fits with airโdevouring, consuming, inevitable. And in that moment, it wasnโt just a kiss. It was the whole damn dessertโevery sin, every sweetnessโ
And you were the cherry on top.
โค โ ??????? (might make a master list...)
iyayadonna, all rights reserved. โ โห แญเฝฒเผแฏเพ ๊ฉ ใโ .แ














