#chelliebean3

IT'S SO!!! GOOD!!!!!

OH MY GOSH ARE THOSE REAL??? I LOVE

and also, I mean, I know there’s this whole patriarchal context and your preferences aren’t formed in a vacuum or anything, but a lot of people seem to like PIV because of the closeness aspect to it. is this sort of a cost/benefit analysis, like the risks/harms far outweigh the good? idk I’ve never done PIV and idk if I want to but these are just questions I have from my first few days reading up on PIV critical stuff and I’d like your input, if you’re inclined :)

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Hi, thanks for your msg. :-)

If you’re interested in this topic, I have a PIV tag on my blog that might contain some answers to other questions you may have. Anyway, if you don’t mind I’m going to try and address your questions point by point so that my response doesn’t end up looking like a big jumbled mess (btw sorry if this gets a little graphic).

A woman engaging in PIV because it feels good, and not necessarily to reach orgasm, is something that has two aspects to it: a physical aspect and a psychological aspect. Partial stimulation of the ‘deep clitoris’ is likely the cause of some physical pleasure during penetration, but it’s usually not enough to cause orgasm. If a woman enjoys the physical sensation of being penetrated (which is quite rare if the penetration occurs with a penis, because there are no nerves inside the vagina and the penis is not exactly dextrous enough to target the deep clit), there is no reason that this penetration ought to occur via PIV. For example, targeted fingering is more likely to cause effective stimulation, and there is no risk of pregnancy this way.

Another reason a woman may derive pleasure from being penetrated is psychological. This is where it gets complicated if you’re not all that familiar with a radical feminist analysis of gender. Women are socialised to be submissive and to derive pleasure from “feeling like a woman”  - which involves, among other things, feeling ‘fuckable’, desired and dominated by men. This domination and desire to be dominated doesn’t have to be explicit, and in fact it often isn’t; the sexualisation of inequality permeates our entire culture through the creation and enforcement of gender and its accoutrements. Check out these quotes for an intro to this analysis: http://sadsaltnap.tumblr.com/post/121415657038/the-sexologists-were-aided-in-their-quest-to#notes andhttp://sadsaltnap.tumblr.com/post/120984898563/sexuality-is-socially-constructed-for-men-out-of#notes Also, my commentary on this post might help to illuminate the ways in which the power differences inherent in gender shape our sexuality and desire for ‘the other’:http://sadsaltnap.tumblr.com/post/129557129193/lesbiancraft-the-main-reason-why-the-patriarchy#notes

I think the fact that women engage in PIV just to please their partner should be analysed in the context of patriarchy/male supremacy/women’s subordination. It’s not as simple as saying that people like giving pleasure to others, because that ignores the specific power dynamics between men and women. Women are taught to value men’s pleasure above their own, they are taught to service men’s needs. Women are encouraged to engage in PIV even when they do not enjoy it or are in fact in pain, because they learn both deference to men and self-negation (they also learn that PIV is “just what you do” in a heterosexual relationship). There are many ways that you can give pleasure to someone that do not involve them using your body for their own ends - especially when it puts you at risk of pregnancy or pain/discomfort. The fact that PIV is viewed as the primary way to give/receive pleasure is symptomatic of a culture that centres male desires at a direct cost to women’s pleasure, comfort, safety and bodily autonomy. [Side note in case it seems like I’m implying that blow jobs are a safe, healthy alternative to PIV: Women who perform oral sex on men often end up in a comparable amount of pain and discomfort, as giving oral sex to a man under patriarchy/the male model of sexuality usually involves having to take the penis inside the mouth and, due to porn’s influence, even results in ‘deep-throating’ and ‘face-fucking’, which can cause throat injuries/tearing - not to mention choking, vomiting and feelings of violation/degradation].

Re: women engaging in PIV due a desire to be close to a partner: this is very common. There’s a reason why most single men don’t attach emotions to sex while most women do: men receive physical pleasure and social power from PIV, whereas women do not (only a very small portion of women are able to orgasm from PIV due to a man’s capacity to stimulate the clit at the same time). Of course women are going to view sex as a way to bond emotionally with men, because they do not receive anything else positive from it (apart from the sense of validation and desirability that I touched on earlier - though this can hardly be viewed as positive). There are many ways to be intimate with and emotionally close to a partner, just as there are many ways to have sex and reach orgasm: the fact that PIV is seen as the primary way to achieve these things is entirely culturally constructed with men’s power and pleasure in mind, and should therefore be analysed as such.

I tried to come up with a good analogy for PIV sex in terms of costs/benefits, but it’s kind of terrible. I’m just going to try and summarise my position as best I can and as briefly as I can, and if you still want to talk about it further then please feel free to msg me again. Firstly, this quote might help:http://sadsaltnap.tumblr.com/post/118741245463/susan-calvins-book-lesbian-origins-is-an#notes

PIV is a reproductive act, and I believe that it has only become thought of asrecreational because it helps to enforce male supremacy and heterosexuality (this is important because heterosexuality ties women to men, enabling reproductive and domestic labour to be extracted by men from women in the home; it creates women’s dependence upon access to contraception and abortion - both of which are controlled by men under patriarchy - in order to have some semblance of reproductive control**; it ensures women’s submission to men privately if not publicly - more info on this in Anticlimax by Sheila Jeffreys, which touches on the rise of sexology in the 19th century as a way to ensure women’s subordination to men in the private/sexual sphere since feminists were making gains towards equality in the public sphere). So, in summary: just because some women may be “lucky” enough to find a male partner who is able to stimulate the clitoris during penetration, and just because women have been socialised to derive some enjoyment from the activity, does not mean that PIV is meant for women’s enjoyment or that women’s enjoyment of it is healthy or ‘natural’ (i.e., biological rather than socially constructed). I don’t think an act whose normalisation outside of reproduction is due to male supremacy should be considered neutral or redeemable just because some members of the oppressed find it bearable or even good as a result of a) their socialisation into their subordinate role or b) the ability of a tiny minority of their partners to create some contact with their actual pleasure centre during the act. Basically, I don’t think PIV would exist recreationally post-patriarchy.

**Male supremacist culture normalises and mandates recreational PIV and then creates drugs for women to prevent pregnancy and then controls women’s access to these drugs and hence denies women the reproductive autonomy they need to be equal participants in wider society (outside of the home) and then claims that the reason women are not equal to men/equally represented in the world outside the home is because of their biology/capacity to bear children. It’s fucked.

like scientists are literally saying we’re entering a mass extinction period caused mainly by habitat loss. GUESS WHAT THE #1 CAUSE OF HABITAT LOSS IS. but we “need” animal products smh give me a breaaaaaak

i wish there was an option to like replies  

Creamy vegan garlic pasta with roasted tomatoes

Ok so I made this for dinner and I don’t care if you’re vegan or not, you NEED TO TRY THIS. It was AMAZING. Seriously. YUMMM. Definitely gonna make this again soon. 

nOPE | no | hmmm | idk | sure | ye | yES | OH MY GOD YES