The heart is an elaborate engine

But I know he actually likes me. And I feel bad because I actually kind of enjoy that sort of attention... does that make me horrible? I just don’t experience it that much, so it’s nice when it happens. And I don’t encourage it or anything but I’m not really discouraging it either. Except for when I flat out told him I’m not dating right now. 

But like. We text every day. And I don’t really have experience with having guy friends, so I’m always really worried about how I act around him or towards him because I don’t want to come off as flirting. Because even though it’s exactly how I would act around my female friends, it might come off as flirting or encouraging to a boy who’s interested in me.

I don’t know. Part of me wants to just be like “fuck it” and joke around with him the way I do with other friends. But the other part of me is like... “wait. would sending him a dub smash be weird because I’m a girl and he’s a guy and society has made it seem like interaction between us is more than it seems...?”