#chapter47

“I’m here!” He reached for her wrapping his arms around her. “It’s okay, I’ve got ya!” He repeated over and over to her.

Lexi’s body relaxed against him instantly as he gently rocked her back and forth. Lexi shifted, wiping her eyes, taking a breath. “God, this is annoying.” She reached to her side table grabbing her water bottle and taking a sip of the cool water. Jared reached to his side table flicking on the side lamp before turning to Lexi’s again. “What time is it?” Lexi asked, placing her water back on the table.

“A little after two.” Jared looked to the digital clock on the bedside table then back to Lexi. “Your panic attacks afterwards aren’t as bad anymore.” Jared pushed her hair from her face. “I don’t know if you can even call that a panic attack just now.”

“The only times I really have the panic attacks after a nightmare is when you aren’t here.” Lexi looked over at Jared. “You’re my security blanket, you know.” She crawled into Jared’s lap as he leaned back onto the pillows. Jared wrapped his arm around her and tucked the other behind his head with a yawn. “I’m sorry I woke you...again.”

“Hush.” Jared kissed the top of her head. “Stop apologizing for stuff you have no control over.” He nestled his face into her hair with closed eyes. “I’ll leave the lamp on, get some sleep.”

Jared often did things like that. Leaving the lamp on, rechecking the windows and doors to make sure they’re locked. Little things that even though she didn’t ask him to do it, he still did to give her peace of mind. And he knew Lexi appreciated it. 

It had been about three weeks since the first attorney meeting and Lexi had four other meetings, two of which were without Jared. Jared had opposed her going to a meeting without him, knowing how hard the first three were but Lexi was determined to push through her fears and anxiety. Which, Jared admired her for. 

As a result of the intense meeting Lexi began having nightmares more often and anxiety attacks. But, still, she didn’t let it take over like before. Lexi channeled her anxiety, stress and her newly discovered anger in a more healthier way this time around. She ran most morning with Jared when he was home and even on her own a few days a week when he was gone. She’d also take to the punching bag in Jared’s workout room when she felt like she couldn’t deal anymore. 

 Most importantly though, she turned to Jared this time around. She leaned on him fully when she needed to break down. She let him hold her and take care of her. And Jared was more than happy to do it.

It was several hours later when Lexi woke up again. The sun was fully up and the lamp off. She rolled over reaching for Jared but was met with cold sheets instead of Jared’s warmth. Bringing her hands to her face she rubbed her face grunting as she stretched out in the bed. Sitting up and pushing the sheets off of herself stretching again pausing when she saw the bathroom door open. 

“Hey sleepy head!” Jared chimed, standing in the bathroom doorway in his red and black Saxx underwear. “Sleep well?” He walked to the bed, hair still damp. “Well, after you went back to sleep.” He added leaning forward kissing her forehead.

“Better. What time is it?”

“Little after eight thirty.” Jared sat on the edge of the bed.

“What?!” Why’d you let me sleep so late?!” Lexi stood from the bed but Jared grabbed her waist and pulled her back down. “What are you doing?” She giggled, falling back onto the bed.

“You were tired so I let you sleep. And as much as I missed watching your ass in those running shorts this morning, it’s okay. You needed rest, babygirl.” Jared half hovered over Lexi, his fingers ghosting over her cheek. 

“You look glowy.” Lexi commented, lifting her hand to Jared’s waist.

“What?” He chuckled.

“All fresh from the hot shower, your skin is warm and heat kissed.”

“I think you’re still sleep deprived.” Jared poked her nose with the tip of his index finger before standing and walking the dresser.

Lexi stood on her knees on the bed as she pulled her hair in a ponytail. “How was your run?”

“Good.” Jared slid his jeans over his Saxx. “Want some breakfast?” He walked over to Lexi.

“I’m good for now.” She rested her hands on his shoulders. It was funny to her, but the only way she could be eye to eye with Jared was when she was kneeling on one bed. And even then it was only to his mouth. “I could use coffee, though.” Jared’s hands wrapped around her waist. “Did I ever tell you how much I love your eyes?”

“You’ve mentioned it, yeah.” Jared nodded with a cheeky grin.

“You know, one day, I hope our future children have your eyes.”  Lexi smiled at him with a soft grin, letting her fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“So you want to add to my pack of little monsters?” He pulled her closer, their bodies almost touching. 

“Yes, I do.” She pecked his lips.

“It will have to be a few years from now. I don’t want to die.” Jared nibbled his lower lip before grabbing Lexi beneath her rear and swooping her up in one quick motion, gaining a squeal from her. She grabbed his biceps bracing herself as he laid her down on the bed with a plop and a chuckle, her legs wrapping around his waist. “We can still practice though.” 

Lexi gave a laugh. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.” Jared hummed before leaning down pressing a kiss to her lips.

He moved from her lips to her jaw line, his barely there stubble leaving a tickling burn on her skin. She moved her hands up his broad shoulders til her fingers were entwined in Jared’s soft, chestnut locks once more. He peppered kisses across her chest then back up her neck til he reached just her ear. Jared gave a  gentle nibble to the soft flesh just beneath her earlobe.

Jared’s phone rang loudly from the bathroom sending off an echo from the counter. His phone rang again, gaining a grunt of frustration from Jared as head let his head hang low over Lexi. She let out a giggle as Jared placed a kiss to her lips before going grab his phone.

Lexi watched Jared on the phone with a smile on her face.You’d think that with the trail just weeks away that she would be in a different mindset. But in spite of the nightmares and elevated anxiety she wasn’t scared by Jared’s intimacy. She thought that their love life would come to a halt when the nightmares started, but it didn’t.

Instead of Jared’s overthink and overbearing tendencies she was met with a calm, firm, assuring touch that made making love to Jared possible in spite of the anxiety and flashbacks. 

And when she did have panic attacks, Jared was there. He held her and let her know that she wasn’t along and it was okay to cry.

“Well that was a mood killer.” Jared said walking out of the bathroom, tossing his phone on the bed.

“What’s up?’ Lexi asked, still laying on the bed.

“Gen is on her way with the kids.” Jared crawled on the bed laying on his stomach next to her. 

“I thought they weren’t coming till tonight.”

“That was the plan but something came up with her brother, or something along those lines. She wanted to know if she could drop them off early.”

“So much for a little play time.” Lexi smiled, reaching her hand, running her fingers through the hairs that fell in front of his face. 

“Oh, I’m not giving up.” Jared smirked, lifting himself over her again.He placed a kiss to her lips before rolling off the bed. “I’m just gonna have to get creative.”

Lexi laughed as Jared walked out of the room just in time for the doorbell to ring. After dressing she went downstairs to be ambushed by the kids with hugs and exciting tales of school and weekend adventures.

“Did you guys eat breakfast yet?” Lexi asked with Odette on her hip.

“Gen said they were in a rush. They ate some breakfast bars but you know how they eat.” 

“Who wants to help me with breakfast then?” Lexi asked, gaining cheers from the three little Padaleckis.

The kids helped make pancakes and eggs with bacon and didn’t waste time clearing their plates either. Jared helped himself to two plates of food and was still picking pieces of bacon off of the tray.

Lexi was standing behind the island in the middle of the kitchen, watching Jared and the kids sit around the table in the breakfast nook, Odette in his lap. Despite all that was going on around her, her heart felt full. 

“Anymore coffee?” Jared asked, walking up next to Lexi. “What’s with the dreamy look on your face?”

“Nothing.” Lexi took the cup from Jared. “Just admiring.” SHe turned pouring more steaming liquid into the mug then handing it back to Jared.

“Admiring? Admiring what?” Jared chuckled, taking his cup from her.

“You’re an amazing dad, you know that?” Lexi hoisted herself up on top of the counter. “I love watching you playing and interacting with them.” She smiled sipping from her own cup. 

“Thinking about babies again?” Jared lifted a single brow, taking a long sip from his mug again.

“Maybe.” Lexi shrugged not looking directly at him. 

“Nu uh!” Shep snapped loudly at his brother pulling Jared and Lexi’s attention towards them instead of one another. 

“Shut up!” Tom retorted.

“Hey, hey!” Lexi hopped off the counter. “None of that!” She handed a napkin to each of the boys. “Wipe your faces, please.”

“He started it!” Tom snapped again.

“Did not! You’re just being stupid!”

“Hey!” Jared sat down next to them suddenly turning stern. It was one of the things Lexi admired about him. Although he is ever the big kid, he knows when to be the adult with his children. “We don’t call people stupid.” Odette crawled into his lap. “What’s the fuss about?”

“Daddy, are you and Lexi married?” Shep asked looking up to his dad.

“No not yet, buddy.” Jared looked at Lexi for a split second then back to Shep.

“I told you!” Tom spoke again, making a know it all face towards his little brother. “Shep thinks you’re already married and I told him no because we would have been there!”

“Well, of course you will be there when that day comes.” Lexi sat next to Tom. 

“Why aren’t you married yet?” Shep asked with such childish innocence. 

Jared looked at Lexi unsure what to say. He couldn’t tell his four year old that Uncle Jensen would break his legs if he married Aunty Lexi before she was twenty two. 

“Well, sweetie, Aunty Lex and Daddy have been so busy with work and you guys that we  just haven’t had time to plan anything yet.” Lexi smiled, moving Tom’s hair from his face. “We love each other a lot and want it to be a special day. It takes time to plan a day like that.”

“I be flower girl!” Odette blabbed from Jared’s lap.

“Yes, you will be!” Lexi answered with just as much excitement, pinching Odette’s already rosey cheek. 

“So, you ARE getting married?” Tom looked at his dad seriously.

“One day, yeah.” Jared answered knowing Tom was genuinely asking. “What’s with all this talk of Lexi and me getting married all of a sudden, huh?”

“At the school field trip last week mama told the teacher that if ever she can’t get in touch with you or her to call Aunty Lex. That she was our step mom.” Lexi and Jared exchanged a baffled glance towards one another. “Shep said that means you are married and I told him that you didn't get married.”         

“Well, mommy knows we plan on getting married. After that Lex will be your stepmom.” Jared explained.

“Well, what would be different?” Shep asked.

“Nothing really. She will still live with daddy and travel with me sometimes. You can still call her Aunty Lex. Only difference is she will have daddy’s last name after we get married.”

“Really?!” Tom laughed. “Lexi Padalecki! That sounds funny!”

“And it rhymes!” Shep added.

“Why don’t you go play before it gets too hot outside.” Lexi offered, standing.

The boys and Odette rushed out the glass french doors that lead to the back yard. Lexi picked up the plates they were just eating off of and began cleaning up the breakfast mess.

“Why would Gen say something like that?” Jared asked, looking at Lexi as she placed the dishes in the dishwasher. “I’ll go get the kids set up out back.” Jared quickly added before walking out the kitchen.

Lexi had cleaned the entire kitchen and when she walked into the living room she saw the kids in the backyard but didn’t see Jared. She noticed the door slightly open and walked to close it when she heard Jared’s voice.

“Hey Gen.” Jared’s voice was soft as he stood outside under the trees by the door. “I know you’re busy but I need to talk to you for a sec.”

“I have a minute, what’s up? Everything okay?”

“Did you- the kids said you spoke to their teacher and referred to Lexi as their step mom.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Her voice sounded. “I forgot to tell you! When I was talking to their teachers I needed to put down another name for the kids. I know Lexi helps with the kids a lot and I didn’t want to refer to her as their dad’s girlfriend/ best friend's sister/used to be babysitter/soon to be stepmom someday, so I just went with step mom.”

Jared chuckled. “Makes sense.”

“That’s not a problem,is it?”

“No, no! Just the kids thought we’d already gotten married without them.” Jared gave another light hearted chuckle. “I was just making sure we were all on the same page.” Jared hung up and turned to see Lexi standing there. “Heard that?” He held up his phone giving it a wave. Lexi nodded. “Are you okay with being called step mom?”

“Of course!” Lexi answered. “You know I love them.” She looked out at the playing in the yard on the swing set. 

Jared watched her,  then cleared his throat. “Uh, I'm sorry if I overstepped... about the last name thing.” Lexi looked at him puzzled. “Assuming you’d take me name.” He swallowed hard. 

“Are you kidding?!” She looked at Jared with amusement. “Lexi Padalecki sounds awesome!” She laughed and Jared couldn’t help reaching and kissing her.

That night Lexi was lying in her andJared’s bed with her journal in hand, writing away when Jared walked into the room with a heavy sigh.

“Kids are all in bed and asleep.” Jared fell forward on his elbows, climbing on the bed next to Lexi. “How do they have so much energy at nine thirty at night?”

“They take after their daddy.” She smiled, still writing.

“What are you writing about tonight?” Jared pretends to peek at her journal.

“No peeking!” Jared leaned forward again with a bigger smile. “Jared Tristan, don’t you dare!” She moved her journal away from his eyesight farther.

“Uh oh, you used my middle name, I must be in trouble now!” Jared snatched the journal from her hands and tossed it to the side. “It’s okay. I’m not interested in your journal anyway.” He leaned forward placing a simple kiss to her lips. 

He pulled away and stared at her for a while. Just looking into her eyes he felt safe and at home. Having Lexi and the kids all under one roof made him feel complete. He wanted to keep this feeling.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She ran her fingers through his hair, his eyes giving off a sparkle. 

“Marry me.”

“What?” Lexi tilted her head looking at Jared. “We had this conversation, remember?” She sat up, Jared lifting himself to do the same.

“And, I’m changing my mind.” He sat in front of her with an air of sureness about him. 

“What do you mean, you changed your mind?” She sat with her knees propped up in front of her. 

“I mean I want to get married now.” He placed a hand on her knee. “Instead of waiting two more years.”

“Jared,” Lexi shook her head in a huff and got up from the bed.

“Not the reaction I was expecting.” He followed.

“Jared, you promised Jensen.”

“I said let's get married. I never said tell Jensen.”

“Are you insane?!” Lexi snapped.

“Probably but that’s not the topic right now.” Jared sat on the edge of the bed nearest Lexi. “Right now we are talking about getting married.”

“Listen to yourself! You’re talking about sneaking off and eloping!” She stood in front of Jared waving her arms.

Jared simply reached his arm out, taking her hands in his. “Come here.” He pulled her close to him, til her eyes were even with his. “I want you to be my wife. Hearing the kids talk about how theft already thought we were married and then how excited they are to be a part of it, I want that. I want to marry you now.” 

“If we elope they won’t be a part of it.”

“We marry now and then have a big wedding later that they can be part of.” Jared explained.

“God,” Lexi looked at Jared placing a hand on his face. “You’re serious aren’t you?”

“I am.”

Lexi leaned forward kissing him, letting her forehead rest on his. “Can we wait till after the trial?”

“Anything you want.” Jared scooped her up laying her on the bed.

Lexi giggled as she fell to the bed, Jared kissing her neck as he laid on her. “You’ll have to talk to Jensen though.”

“I will.” He said between kisses on her chest. “Eventually.”

“Before we get married.”

“Okay.” He answered, pulling her shorts down her legs.

“So are we talking like Vegas?”Lexi asked with a breathy chuckle.

“Justice of the peace, court house, doesn’t matter.” He pushed her shirt up. “Just as long as we’re married.”

“Jared, the door’s not locked.” She fussed. “Oh my God!” She moaned as Jared sank between her legs his tongue lapping at her sex. 

When Jared wanted to quiet Lexi, he knew how to do it. And he enjoyed every second of it. When he brought her to the edge he stopped just before she went over, wiping the slick from his mouth, hovering over her. She pulled him back down tasting herself on his lips, licking the inside of his mouth, nibbling on his lower lip. God, how much she loved this man. 

She felt his erection at her entrance and wondered for a split second when did he undress? Jared was a smooth bastard, she often told him. She arched into him as he moved inside of her bringing her legs up against his side as high as she could. She wanted to feel him as deeply as he could go. 

Over the past several months Lexi and Jared were returning to how they were before Chris. They constantly wanted to be with one another. They always were touching somehow or kissing, flirting, a constant flow of affection.

Jared dug his knees into the bed, his fingers entwined with Lexi’s as his thrusts got harder, faster, he was close. SHe squeezed her legs around his waist and side, her nails digging into his hand as she arched into his. Their lips parted with a pop, her head falling back as she gasped.

Jared hips skipped, he buried his face in her neck letting out a loud primal moan as he came inside her.

Feeling her body jerk, he lifted himself on his arms and saw her, eyes shut still coming down from her high. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered before kissing down her neck.

~

Lexi stirred slightly in the bed, sleep beginning to break. Her eyes were still closed as she contemplated drifting off again. The cool sheets against her naked frame and the slight ache between her legs from multiple rounds with Jared last night gave her a smile at the thought. The door creaked open and she felt the bed sink next to her followed by the feel of soft lips against her warm bare back. He continued to trail kisses up down her back  giving a nibble to the small of her back.

Lexi gave a squirm and a giggle as Jared moved his lips up along her spine and over her shoulder. “Good morning.” Jared mumbled against her skin. 

“What time is it?”

“Ten.”

“Why did you let me sleep so late?” Lexi mumbled mid stretch. 

“You needed it and I had everything under control with the kids.” He leaned on an elbow next to her. 

“You mean they didn’t over take you yet?” Lexi sat up, holding the sheet over her chest.  

“They were starting to band together so I came for back up.” He nodded before leaning forward kissing Lexi’s lips. 

“Where are they now?” Lexi asked letting Jared lean her back against the pillows. His bare torso pressed against her, a single white sheet between them.

“Finishing a movie before going outside.” His voice was deep in her ear. 

“You need to stop before you start something you can’t finish, Padalecki.” She hummed against his shoulders. “Can’t leave them down there too long.”

“I can be quick.” He whispered against her lips. 

“You don’t know how to be quick.” She gave another giggle. 

“Maybe I like to take my time.” He nibbled just beneath her ear.

“Daddy!”

 Jared let his head fall to Lexi’s chest, Lexi laughing louder. 

The weekend went by at a fast pace, as most weekends with the kids. Lexi didn’t mind though, it kept her busy and she loved spending time with them. It was Sunday evening, the kids were spread out on the livingroom floor with colors and coloring books, Jared sat on the couch, reclined back on the fluffy pillows, feet propped up on the huge wooden table in front of the couch. 

Lexi walked into the living room with a little white organizer in her hand. She sat next to Jared, nestling into his side. “I want to show you something.” She placed the organizer in his lap.

“What’s this?” Jared looked down at the book.

“I know it kind of seemed like I wasn’t into marrying you so soon. And that you kind of worried a bit because of my reactions last night. I’ve been putting this together since you gave me the promise ring.” Jared opened the book and saw flowers and dress patterns, seating arrangements and decorations. “I know we promised we wouldn’t get married till I was twenty two, but I fingered it was never too early to plan the wedding you want.” Lexi exhaled in defeat. “But I really have no idea what I’m doing because I never thought I’d ever get married.” Jared flipped through several pages not speaking, Lexi looking at him, waiting for any kind of expression or reaction. “It’s stupid, I know-”

“No.” Jared said softly, taking her hand, kissing her fingers. “It’s not stupid, baby.”     

The doorbell rang signaling Genevieve’s arrival to pick up the kids after four days of hectic Padalecki kids chaos. The three got a good laugh at the step mom confusion, Genevieve stating that Lexi earned the step mom title long time ago. Jared was quick to agree with pride. 

After they said goodnight and Lexi and Jared cleaned up the last of the mess, they fell back into the couch, the organizer not long forgotten on the table in front of the couch. Jared stretched out a long arm along the back of the sofa, Lexi leaning into him as he flipped through the TV. 

Lexi was quiet for a while and Jared noticed she was contemplating something in her head. “Penny for your thoughts, baby girl?”

Lexi looked up at him, giving a simple smile. “No, just-” She cleared her throat adjusting herself. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” Jared said with a slight pitch change.

Lexi played with the hem  of her shit, focused on the uneven thread between her fingers. “Do you want this?”

Jared was puzzled, and his facial expression showed it. “Want what?”

“A wedding and more kids?”

Jared shut off the TV and turned towards Lexi. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” His voice was surprisingly calm.

“Well, it’s just, you did it all before.” Jared shook his head perplexed at her train of thought. “You’ve done the whole big wedding, invite everyone you know.”

“So.”Jared shook his head again. “Lex, I don’t care how extravagant my first wedding was. If you want we’ll go even bigger! I don’t care!” He took her hands into his. “As long as it’s you walking towards me, that’s all I care about.”

Lexi straightened herself and looked directly at Jared. “So, you’re saying we could get married at the courthouse and you wouldn’t mind?”

“Yes.”

“Or have a million dollar wedding in Paris?”

“Qui.” Lexi laughed. “I just want you and the kids.” Lexi leaned forward pressing a long kiss to his lips. “I take it you like that answer.” He smiled pulling her close to him as he settled back into the couch.

They lay there for a long while, watching some old movie you’ve both seen a thousand times when Lexi suddenly leaned forward grabbing the organizer. She flipped through several pages and stopped at one and handed it to Jared.

“Here. This is what I want.”

Jared took the book from Lexi examining it for a bit. “It’s beautiful.” Jared looked over to her. 

“Just a few people in Jensen’s backyard, some flowers. Odette and Arrow will be flower girls with Zep walking between them with the rings. Then Tom and Shep dressed just like you next to you and my right hand lady JJ with them at the altar dressed in a matching dress.” Jared smiled as she went on. “We say our vows at sunset in the fall.”

“I can’t wait.” Jared kissed her but the kiss was cut short when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it.” Lexi got up. “Probably one of the kids forgot something.” Lexi walked out of the room and then soon re emerged. “Jared, your attorney’s here.”

Jared stood  when he saw Cooper walking into the room. “Hey, man!” Jared extended his hand, Cooper shaking it. “Something serious must’ve happened for you to be here on a Sunday.”

“I have some news for you two.” Cooper dug in his briefcase. “I have the witness list for the defense.” He handed a piece of paper to Jared, Lexi looking over his shoulder.

“They really have me on here for the defence.” Jared lowered the paper looking at his lawyer in discontent. “What do they expect to gain? What do they even have to ask?”

Lexi took the paper from Jared’s hand. “They’re calling Jesse, too?!”

“Why Jesse?” Jared asked, looking between Lexi and Cooper.  

“Not sure yet, but we’ll find out soon enough. They pushed the court date up.”

“To when?” Jared asked with a head shake. “Why? The defense said they said they wouldn't be ready for at least six more weeks.”

“Tuesday.”

“This Tuesday?!” Lexi took a step forward. “As in the day after tomorrow?!”

“Yes. Looks like you started your hiatus just in time, Jared.” Cooper looked to his old friend. “Hope you’re ready for this.”

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