#spnrpf

“Bout an hour.” He held his little sister’s hand. “Doctor said he needed to talk to him, sign some papers.”

“Papers for what? For the baby?” She sat up semi frantic.

“Calm down!” Jensen squeezed her hand in comfort. “It’s okay.”

The door opened and Jared walked in. Lexi sat up and was preparing for bad news. She squeezed Jensen’s hand even tighter than she’d already had. 

“How’s-” Lexi began but Jared was quick to start talking.

“Hey! The baby’s okay.” He answered before she could get the question out.  Her shoulders instantly relaxed, tears formed in a single blink and fell down her face. “How long have you been awake? How are you feeling?” He pressed a kiss to her head. “The doctor said the meds would make you sleep for a while.” 

“What’s going on with the baby?” 

“He is doing good.” Jared sat next to her. “He is still in the NICU and on oxygen. He has trouble breathing. Doctor has him on steroids to help his lungs finish developing.” Jared pulled out his phone and showed her a picture of the small baby with several tubes attached to his tiny body. “He is almost eighteen inches long and four and a half pounds.”

“He looks so much like you!” She cried with joy. “Look at him!”

“I know, he is so beautiful.” Jared pulled her into him. “

“Is it just his lungs?” She looked up at Jared.

“No.” Jared gave a quick glance at Jensen then back to Lexi.

“What is it?” Lexi  looked at both. “How bad is it?”

“He is anemic and jaundiced.” Jared began. “He- he had a seizure- “  Jared saw Lexi ready to panic. “He is okay! It wasn’t too severe and the doctors are monitoring him. So far he has good brain waves and is stable.”

“I want to see him.” Lexi pushed the sheets off of herself.

“Whoa, whoa!” Jensen stood walking over to her bed.

“Baby, you need to have the doctor come in and check you first. Your blood pressure is just getting to a safe level. You have been through labor and delivery. You lost a lot of blood. You had a transfusion. You have huge amounts of meds in your system.” Jared counted off the reason for her to stay in bed. 

“My baby needs me.”

“Just let the doctor check you out first.” Jensen stood. “I’ll get her now.” He walked out the room.

Lexi looked back at Jared. “Wait, I had a blood transfusion?”

“Yes you did.” The doctor walked in, slipping her gloves on. “You have us quite the scare. These two have been going back and forth taking turns between you and the little one.” Lexi looked between Jensen and Jared. “By the way, you have a beautiful baby boy. Very strong. And stubborn.” She smiled at Lexi. “Why don’t you two go get some coffee while I check under her hood.” They all gave a chuckle.

The doctor was thorough with her check up and went over every aspect of her issues explaining how Lexi was nearly rushed to the O.R. for an emergency hysterectomy bc of bleeding. Between that, blood loss and high blood pressure, It was important to keep a close eye on her. “You’re doing well but still want to keep you for a day or two more.”

“Can I see him?”

“Of course!” The doctor answered. “We will wait another hour or so just to make sure you are okay to move around a little beforehand. I’ll go talk to the NICU.”

“I’ll call Gen and Danneel and give them an update.” Jensen followed the doctor out.

“You did so great, baby girl.” Jared sat next to Lexi pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You were so strong and determined.”

“At one point I wanted to punch Gen for making natural labor sound like a good idea.” She chuckled.

Jared let out a laugh. “You almost did if Dee wouldn’t have been between you two!”

“How’s Danneel’s hand by the way?”

“Uh, sore.” He chuckled and Lexi laid her head on his chest. “You were so amazing. You brought our baby boy into this world.”

“I can not believe I pushed a person out of my body.” Lexi let out a yawn. 

“The nurses in the NICU say that he is a little fighter. He was trying to cry but couldn’t because his lungs are still a little under developed. 

The door creaked open and a young nurse walked in with a wheelchair. “I hear you finally get to go see your munchkin.” She smiled at Lexi and Jared. “I hear he has the nurses quite smitten in the NICU.”

“Just like his daddy.” Lexi smiled at Jared.

Slowly and carefully Lexi transitioned to the wheelchair with shaking hands. She knew it would take her a while before she would be at full strength again. Jared followed behind as the nire wheeled Lexi into the NICU. The three of them went through the process of disinfecting and putting on gowns. 

The nurse set the wheelchair right in front of the clear incubator. Lexi instantly had tears in her eyes as she looked down at the sleeping baby. “He’s so small.” She spoke with a broken voice looking at the wires and tubes attached to him. 

“He is stronger than he looks.” A different nurse walked up to them. “I’m Shelly, Head nurse here.” SHe extended her hand and gave a gentle shake.” How are you Mrs. Padalecki?”

“I’m okay. What about-”

“He is doing well.” Shelly smiled, pulling up a chair. “He is on oxygen till his lungs are stronger. The feeding tube is there till he can learn to swallow properly. The rest of the leads are just to monitor his vitals.”

“How long will he need all of this?” 

“He will be here for a few weeks to a few months. It depends on how long it takes his body to catch up to being born so early. We don’t take chances here so we are being cautious and aggressive.”

“So we’ll be going home without him.” Lexi looked at Jared with fearful eyes.

“I talked with your husband earlier, preparing him for the reality that you will be going home without your baby. It will be difficult.”

Lexi nodded. “How often will we be able to see him?”

“You’ll be able to come daily. We give updates every few hours and when you go home in the evenings we have a number you can call to check in on baby.”

“He is in good hands, Lex.” Jared rubbed her arms. “This is the best NICU in the state.

“He is stable and should improve daily from here on out.” Shelly explained. “He is a strong one. He even tries to pull the leads off.” She chuckled. “Your biggest concern right now is naming this little guy.”

“I already know his name.” Lexi said, looking at the baby boy through the incubator. 

“You do?” Jared asked, surprised.

“Tristan Ross.” Lexi said with confidence. 

“Tristan Ross Padalecki.” Jared smiled. “I love it.” 

Next Chapter>

“Exam room two,” he pointed towards the door, “says, abdominal pain, thinks its his appendix, wants a second opinion from a doctor, and not a PA. Won’t let me touch him.”

“Who gave the first opinion?”

“Google.”

Jensen rolled his eyes with a groan and grabbed the folder. “A PA isn’t good enough for him but fucking Google is? Jesus Christ..”

“Knew you’d like that one.” Jared chuckled as he followed behind as Jensen went to exam room two.

As they stepped in, Jensen found a middle aged man sitting on the exam table, waiting. “Hi, I’m Dr Ackles, and I believe you met my PA.” Jensen gestured to Jared behind him, as Jared closed the door. “What can we help you with today.”

“Well, I already told your buddy-”

“Your appendix, yes.” Jensen tossed the folder down onto the closest surface. “But I need you to tell me.  When did the pain start?”

“Uhm..” The patient fidgeted his fingers a bit. “I don’t remember, but it’s been this bad since at least yesterday..”

“Okay, you mentioned it’s bad. On a scale of one to ten, how bad.”

“Today?” Jensen nodded. “Can I say twenty?” He chuckled awkwardly.

“Try and stick to ten or less.”

“At least a 8 or 9. Right now.”

“Not ten? You mentioned a twenty.” The man gave him a confused look. “It’s okay. Where does it hurt?”

“Uh, right here.” Despite the words, he gestured to a rather large area, and when Jensen glanced back at Jared, he could see the smirk playing on his friends lips

“That could be any number of things, what makes you think it’s your appendix?”.

“Well, I googled my symptoms, and-”  The face Jensen made had Jared snorting a laugh. “What?”

“Ah, Good ol’ Google. That’s where I got my medical degree, too.” He smiled.

“What!?”

“Lay back, please. I’m going to do a physical exam.”

“You’re joking, right?” He glanced to Jared. “Please tell me he’s joking…”

“What, google’s good enough for you but not me? You sure it isn’t cancer?” Jensen reached into his pocket for his phone. “Here, let me google your symptoms and we’ll see-”

“No!”

“Lay back, please.”

Jared shook his head and tried to keep his laughter quiet. He watched Jensen tuck his phone back in, and the patient lay back on the exam table, scooting himself into a better position, but the crease on his forehead from worry never left.

“Any fever? Nausea?”  Jensen stepped closer, lifting up the man's shirt before putting his hands to his stomach and feeling around.

“No.. I mean, I don’t feel like eating much.. I don’t feel great.. Maybe? But for sure no fever.”

Jensen’s hands moved, putting slight pressure. “This hurt?”

He saw the the wince, and the slight nod. “Little, yeah.”

“Here?” This time, a shake of the head. “How about here.” Putting a bit more pressure this time, the patient groaned, stomach going rigid and then-

“Oh!” There was a look of horror and embarrassment on the man’s face as the loudest and most foul smelling fart filled the room. Jensen took a step back, hands up as he back away and waited for it to end. “Oh, God.”

“Feeling better there, buddy?” The man was quick to nod. “I hope you brought an extra pair of underwear with ya, because that sounded wet.” The man shook his head. “Okay, uhm. Through the door, here, down the hall, second door on your left. Bathroom. I’m gonna see if I can find you something you can walk out of here in after you clean yourself up, okay?”

“T-Thank you.”  

Jensen nodded and waited as he hobbled awkwardly out of the room, and once they were alone, he turned to Jared. “Don’t you fucking laugh.” Jared snorted again, the smile on his face only growing with his laughter. “You did this on purpose.” He pointed an accusing finger.

“Me? How was I supposed to know the guy hasn’t taken a shit for over two weeks?” Jensen’s face fell. “I can’t believe you didn’t ask.” Jared laughed even harder.

“I hate you.”

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Tagging : Jensen - @evyiione @akshi8278@adoptdontshoppets @deanandsamsbitch 

Jared - @evyiione   @karouwinchester 

Supernatural - @roxyspearing  @internationalmusicteacher @super100012 @legend-o-zelda @sandlee44 @dancingalone21  @superfanficgsp987 @holyfuckloueh  @arses21434 @musiclovinchic93 @your-sparklywinnercollection @closetspngirl @ksgeekgirl @4llmywr1tings  @hobby27 @just-another-busyfangirl 

A handful of people snapped pictures of the three of them as they made their way through the airport. The boys signed autographs for excited fans and Lexi was called out for a handful herself, especially by a few young men. 

Finally arriving home Jensen ordered take out and Lexi craved a hot shower. Lexi was walking from the shower and saw Jared coming down the hall. “Hey, I was wondering where my Cowboys jersey disappeared to. I knew I’d packed it.”  

“I can give it back.” Lexi said, lifting the hem off the oversized shit.

Jared grabbed Lexi by the hips. “As much as I’d love that, I need to shower first.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, his hands moving to her ass.

Lexi pulled away. “Go shower.” She smacked Jared’s rear.

“You’re so bossy.” He told her,  walking towards the bathroom with a smile.

“What’s he smiling about?” Jensen asked as he reached the top step.

“Me bossing him around.”

“Your sister is bossy!” Jared shouted from the bathroom.

“She may be my sister but she’s your girlfriend! She's your problem now!” Jensen shouted back.

“Real nice!” Lexi smacked her brother in the arm. “Have you seen my book? The little white one.”

“The one you and Jared were looking at on the plane?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“I think Jared put it in your blue bag before we landed.”

“Thanks.” She walked past him.

“Beautiful wedding ideas.” Jensen said a little louder and she turned around. “Great Ideas for a wedding in the future. You know, always plan a head.”

“Yeah, right.” Lexi said almost nervously. “I mean, you only get married once.” Jensen gave her an odd look. “You know what I mean, Dork.” She waved him off before walking down stairs.

~

They’d been filming a few months now. Falling quickly back into the routine of traveling and early mornings along with late nights. It was a rare afternoon when the boys were off by lunch and had the rest of the day to themselves. They decided to go down to the lake and cast a few lines while drinking a few beers. They had been out there for hours and were a twelve pack in almost.  Jared chuckled as he sent a teasing text message to Lexo who was still on set, showing off a big catch and a beer. 

“You’re mean.” Jensen laughed. “You know how much that girl likes fishing.”

“I’m sure I’ll pay for it later.” Jared smiled, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, Jensen rolling his eyes. “So, uh,” Jared scratched the back of his neck. “Lex said you mentioned our wedding plans a while back?”

Jensen paused mid sip, slowly lowering the bottle from his lips glancing at Jared. “I did.” He glanced down at the bottle in his hands before looking back at Jared. “Jare, I know you want to marry her. I just think you shouldn’t rush it right now. She is still only twenty and things are just starting to go back to normal for her.”

“I know. I’m not trying to rush this, trust me.” Jared chuckled. “But, it comforts her.” Jensen cocked an eyebrow tilting his head slightly looking at his friend. “ It keeps her positive of the future.” Jared explained waving a hand. “After everything bad that has happened, her knowing that we will be married one day gives her assurance and comfort. And if wedding planning is what she needs then I will give her feedback and plan with her. No matter how far into the future it may be.” Jensen nodded his head rhythmically in understanding. “But to be honest, the more we talk about it the more excited I get about marrying her one day.” He gave a smirk.

“Yeah, well just don’t knock her up again till after the wedding.” Jensen commented, taking a sip from his beer bottle. He looked over at Jared seeing his smirk fading as he looked down at the bottle in his hand. “What?” Jensen asked, not sure if he said something.

“Uh, we- we aren’t gonna try for another baby.” Jared told his friend without as much as a glance up.

“What’d you mean?”

“I mean, Lexi doesn’t want kids.”  Jensen shook his head slightly turning to face Jared. 

Jensen shook his head giving a quick swipe of his tongue over his bottom lip. “You sure you didn’t misunderstand? Lex has always wanted kids.”

“I’m sure.” Jared looked at Jensen taking a breath. She said she is happy with Tom, Shep and Odette. That she doesn’t want to have anymore.”

“And how do you feel about that?” Jensen asked, noting Jared’s eyes moving from one thing to the other, not really focusing on anything particular.

Jared gave a shrug. “It’s her choice, I guess.”

“Did you two talk about this? Like, really talk about it?”

“Sort of.” Jared finally looked up at Jensen. “She told me she thought she couldn’t carry a baby to term and that she didn’t want to go through another miscarriage.” Jared cleared his throat before going on. “I brought up the idea of IVF or seeing a specialist if she was worried and she shot that down. Then I said adoption and she said no, no more kids. I told her okay.”

“And that was it?” Jensen asked and Jared shook his head. “And you really don’t agree with that decision, do you?”

“No. Not really.” Jared confessed. “Kids were something she wanted. And I want a child one day, with her. But she is completely against it. I don’t want to push her or make her feel forced, you know?”

“Maybe just give it some time. It’s still early.”

“Maybe.” Jared took a breath. “I just don’t want to push her. If it happens it will happen on it’s on time. She did just go through a lot.”

“I agree.” Jensen nodded before taking a sip of his beer.

They sat in silence for the longest while just simply fishing. Jensen noticed the majority of the afternoon Jared seemed deep in contemplation, which he understood. Jared had a lot happen over the past few months. Hell, for over a year now it's been pretty chaotic. But Jared never left her side. For that, Jensen was grateful. 

The silence was soon filled and afternoon blended into the evening and they talked about their families, and laughed while drinking beers. They’d begun to pack up their gear when they noticed the sun beginning to set, Jared noting Lexi would be wrapping up for the day soon. 

They started walking up the long dirt path that had taken them from the treeline of their backyard to the lake edge. “Hey, Jay?” Jared asked, clearing his throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” Jensen  told him as he stepped over a log. “Watch your step.” He pointed to the ground.

“Let's say,” Jared stepped over the log Jensen just had stepped over.  “Thanks,” He adjusted his fishing pole in his hand. “Hypothetically,” Jensen looked back at him as Jared began walking even with him. “If I was to ask Lexi to marry me,”

“Uh huh.” Jensen hummed.

“Do I ask permission from you or your dad?” Jared met Jensen’s eyes. 

“I- uh-” Jensen scratched the back of his head. “I’m not really sure. Me, I guess-” Jared gave a chuckle with a broad smile. “What?” Jensen looked sideways at Jared. 

“A while back at the diner with your parents,” Jared grinned. “Your dad told me Lexi wasn’t his little girl,” Jared shifted his eyes to Jensen. “That she’s yours. That as long as I have your blessing I’d have his.” Jensen smiled looking back down to the dirt path. Jared looked ahead of the path clearing his throat after a few minutes. “So,” He swallowed hard although his mouth was dry. “Do I have it?” 

Jensen stopped walking holding his arm out to stop Jared with him. “You serious?” His eyes dragged up from the ground to Jared’s face.

“Very.” Jared’s eyes not wavering. “I’m not saying I want to ask her today or tomorrow or even next month. But, I also don’t want to wait as long as you’d like.”

Jared watched as  his best friend pondered the words he’d just said. Jared was waiting for Jensen to shut down the idea of he and Lexi marrying sooner rather than later. The silence was beyond deafening as he waited for his friend to say something, anything at this point. Jensen started walking again, Jared following in more silence aside from the leaves and stick crunching under their feet. Jared opened his mouth to speak but didn’t get a chance to get even a sound out. 

“What we talkin’ bout?” Jensen spoke, glancing back at Jared. “Like, big grand gesture,” He waved an arm around. “Or, simple and romantic?” Jensen looked back again toward his friend when he didn’t respond. “The proposal...” Jensen raised his brow.

“Oh-uh, I-I” Jared shook his head. “Sorry, I thought I was gonna get punched in the face or something after I said what I did.”

“I can punch you if you want me to.” Jensen offered with a smile. 

The sun was beginning to set when the two men reached the house. They unloaded their fishing equipment, Jared walking into the kitchen to wash his hands. Seeing Jared, Lexi quickly turned away from him wiping her cheeks.

“Hey, baby.” She took a breath, making sure her face was dry before turning back around. “How was fishing?”

“It was good.” Jared answered drying his hands on a towel. “Relaxing.” He tossed the towel on the counter seeing her slightly reddened eyes. “Baby?” His face dropped with concern. “Baby, what is it?” He placed his hands on her face.

“I’m fine. Just frustrated. Oh God, you need a shower!” She gave a sudden laugh, pushing away from him. “You smell like fish.” She leaned on the counter. “Go shower, we’ll talk later. I’m fine.”

“A-are you sure?” Jared asked with a more softened expression. 

“Yes, baby.” Lexi leaned forward giving a fast peck. “I’m good. Go shower.” She repeated before walking away.

That night they enjoyed fresh fried fish and french fries made by Jensen. The three of them stuffed themselves on the homemade food and Lexi cleaned up the aftermath. Jared hadn’t brought up Lexy being upset after his shower. Yes, he wanted to talk to her to see what had her so frustrated that she was in tears. 

Lexi was lying in their bed on her stomach with her iPad in front of her when Jared walked into their now shared bedroom. Which was still a little word that they could still be completely open with their relationship in all aspects of their lives. Which in coincidence, brings to Lexi’s frustrations.

“What’re you up to?” Jared asked Lexi, pulling back the bedsheets on his side of the bed. 

“Nothing.” She sat up placing her tablet off to the side.

Jared placed an arm behind his head leaning back against the headboard. “So, you gonna tell me what was up earlier?” He asked placing an arm on her leg after she’d laid back on the pillows. “Why were you so frustrated?” He moved his thumb back and forth solely on her thigh.

“I did something stupid.” Lexi gave a sigh.

Jared gave a head tilt. “What?”

“I saw comment-  a rude comment on my Twitter and like a dumbass I Googled-”

“Baby,” He let out a sigh knowing that rabbit hole.

“I know!” She said running her hands over her face and through her hair. “It’s stupid and you should never do that.” She mocked him and Jensen. “I’m sick of the whispering and pointing from people that only get their info from tabloid rags and online sites that do zero fact checking.”

“Then why?”

“I was curious what the fans were  saying since I’m on the show this season-”

“And what did you find?” Jared asked sincerely. 

 . 

“The fans, well, most of them,  love the idea of me being on the show. But people like to spread rumors and assume with the trial and my past.” Lexi let out a breath. “It’s frustrating and I felt like- like you and Jensen were getting attacked for being associated with me.”

“What do you mean?” He leaned a little closer.

“You’ve never read some of the things being said?” Jared shook his head. “It’s a mess. People assume everything from me being a slut to saying Jensen talked our parents into adopting me so he could fuck me without people talking. And some even called you a-” She shut her eyes. “A pedophile because of the age difference.” Jared saw a tear roll down her cheek and he reached, wiping it away with his thumb. “I hate that they say that about you.”

“Babygirl,” Jared propped himself up on an elbow. “I’ll admit I saw some of that crap too, not too long ago.” He gave a sigh. “I don’t take any of it to heart. I know that is easier said than done but-”

“I don’t care what they say about me.” Lexi spoke up quickly. “People can call me a tramp, a slut, whore, I- I don’t care. I’ve been called every name and picked apart about pretty much everything from my looks to my weight to my past. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass. But, I hate the things they say about you and Jay. And I feel guilty that people are saying these things.”

“Stop.” Jared said with raised brows, his eyes staring deeply into yours. “None of this is on you, do you understand me?”  Lexi nodded, her eyes cast down at her hands as she picked with the edge of her pillow case. “Babygirl?” Jared dipped his head attempting to gain her focus. 

Lexi let her eyes dart around the bed before she built up the courage to speak. “I’m just tired I guess.” She slid herself down in the bed. “I always tend to overthink and over worry when I’m tired.”

“Get some sleep, baby.” Jared reached shutting off the bedside light before lying close to her, his arm draped over her waist. “You don’t have to worry about any of that mess.” He pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

~

He alarm on Lexi’s phone went off about the time the sun broke through the clouds. Feeling as if she didn’t get quite enough sleep, Lexi knew it was going to be a double shot espresso morning. 

Lexi stretched in the bed before hopping out to start her day, the smell of Jared’s body wash still floating through the air from his morning shower.  Slipping into her jeans she went down stairs and was surprised to see both Jared and Jensen at the counter drinking coffee.  

“What are you doing home?” She asked walking passed Jared, placing a kiss to his lips.

“Everything got pushed back twelve hours.” Jared told her placing his cup in her waiting hand.

Lexi turned to fill his cup. “So you’ll be pulling an all nighter.” She stated, handing him back his cup. 

“Yup, so we have to cancel out dinner reservations.” Jared gave a pout slinking an am around her waist. 

“That sucks.” Lexi sat in his lap slinging her arm around his firm shoulders. “Thats the fourth dinner cancelling in two weeks.” She lay her head on his. 

“I know and I’m sorry.” Jared kissed her forehead. “

Lexi stood. “That’s okay.” She grabbed his cup of coffee as he raised it to his lips taking a long sip before placing the cup back down. “Tomorrow night pizza, wine and-” She paused looking at her brother then back to Jared. She leaned into Jared’s ear. “And maybe some strawberries.” She hummed in his ear.

“Deal.” Jared smiled up at her before she pressed a kiss to his lips.

Lexi walked away and Jensen looked at his friend. “Do I want to know what the last thing was?”

“Nope.” Jared smiled sipping his coffee. 

“So four cancelled dates in two weeks and that’s it? Pizza wine and whatever and it’s all good?” Jensen gave a raised brow to his friend in surprise. “No guilt trip or-”

“Nope. She never was big on being a drama queen.” Jared grinned. “Even when we first started dating she never made a big deal about constantly having to rearrange everything.” Jared looked down at the cup in his hand then back at Jensen. “I want to marry her, Jay.”

Next Chapter>

Pouring a cup of the freshly brewed coffee Jared walked to the back sliding door letting Jensen in. 

“Coffee’s fresh.” Jared told him.

“Thanks.” Jensen grabbed his own cup. “How is she this morning?”

“Sleeping still. The meds the doctor gave her keeps her in a fog.” Jared explained, sitting at the breakfast nook.

“Not such a bad thing right now.” Jensen commented following him. “Going to court today?”

“I am. After a week of just Cooper filling me in, it’s time to go back. I doubt Lexi will, though.”

“She’ll be okay.” Jensen watched Jared as he sipped his coffee. “How about you?”

“What about me?”

“How are you dealing with everything?” Jensen watched as Jared simply shrugged. “I know you feel you have to be strong for Lex. But this is just you and me right now. No bullshit.”

Jared met Jensen’s eyes and Jensen saw the tears he was trying to prevent from falling. “It- uh...it hurts man.” A few drops managed to escape his demand. “I know the baby was unplanned and crap but still. We wanted it.” Jared sniffles. “You know we got a letter in the mail yesterday,” Jared placed his cup down, his voice starting to show his emotion. “We’d done a blood test to see what we were having.” His jaw tensed before speaking again. ”It- it, uh, it was gonna be a little boy.” The tears just started pouring from his eyes. “We lost our little boy.” Jared sobbed.

Jensen pulled Jared into a hug and just held him. It was the first time in the weeks since they’d lost the baby that Jared let his emotions out. “It’s alright man, I got ya.” Jensen told him as tears fell from his own eyes.

After Jared had finally let himself break he began to calm himself and sat back up. He ran two hands over his face, taking a deep breath.

“Jared?” Lexi’s concerned voice came from across the room.

“Hey, baby.” Jared sat up straighter.

“Are you okay?” She asked, walking to him, gently carding her fingers through his hair stopping to let her hand rest on his cheek.

“Yeah, I just-” He cleared his throat as if nothing was wrong.

“Jared stop.” She exhaled. “You can be sad too, you know?” She ran a hand through his hair again. “If you need to go to Jensen to be able to do that, then that's fine.” Jared put an arm around her waist and she sat on his lap. “As long as you get it out.”

“How are you feeling, Punk?” Jensen placed a hand on Lexi’s leg. 

“Better. I think last night was the last time I’m gonna take the meds from the doctor. Makes me sleep too much.” She leaned her head on Jared’s. “I feel like its clouding my thoughts and I need to be able to feel my emotions.”

“Just don’t push yourself too much.” Jensen told her. “It’s only been a little over a week.”

“I know. But if I stay going like this, I'll just put myself into a depression.” She lifted her head from Jared’s shoulder to look at her brother,

“I’m gonna go to the trial today, did you wanna come?” Jared asked.

“Not today. Maybe tomorrow.” She pressed a kiss to his head. “I’m gonna shower.” She stood from his lap and walked away.

“She seems okay.” Jensen looked at Jared. 

“She is for the most part.” Jared looked at where she walked out. “She has her moments but she is dealing with it.”

“You know what?” Lexi walked into the kitchen making both men jump. “I think I will go today.” She poured a cup of coffee. “If I don’t I’ll just sit here and cry all day. At least this way I can not focus on it.” She sipped looking at Jared. “Because if I do, I’ll get down and I don’t want to get like that again.”

“It’s okay to take that time if you need it.” Jensen told her.

“I know. And I do. But, I need to get back to normal. It’s been almost weeks. I can’t stay in my bedroom anymore.”

~

Meanwhile downtown Cooper sat across from Chris and Durning with papers scattered in front of them. They’d been in a small room for four hours going over details of who leaked the information to the press. Court was postponed so all details could be reviewed and an end could be put to the constant information going to the media.

“Anything else?” Cooper asked, rubbing his head. “You know for a person always pointing fingers, your partner was quick to run his mouth.“ Cooper eyed Durning.

“We can not apologize to you or Miss. Ackles and Mr. Padalecki enough. Know that my partner was fired and legal actions are being pursued against him.” Durning explained gathering papers.

“Good it will save us from having to do it.” Cooper said, gathering his own papers.

“It was not my intention to have any of this in the media.” Chris told Cooper. “If I would have know he would do this-”

“I believe you.” Cooper held up a hand. “It’s your ass getting torn apart in this. I’m sure you wouldn’t want the world knowing your dirty little secrets.”

Chris nodded, watching Cooper finishing up. “Um- Can I ask you something?” Cooper looked at him. “O-Off the record or whatever.” Chris gained a curious look from both Durning and Cooper.

“What do you want?”  Cooper asked leaning back in his chair.

“Is Lexi okay?”

“That’s none of your business.” Cooper sat back up, continuing to collect his papers.

“I know but, I heard she was sick and in the hospital and-”

“You know you have got a lot of nerve, kid.” Cooper pointed to Chris. “How did you even find that out?” Chris looked down. “Are you in cahoots with your now ex attorney?”

“No!” Chris said quickly. “I- I- at court I overheard my brother and some chick talking about it. I stole his phone and I read she was in the ER.”

“You’re a thief too. That’s good to know.” Cooper stood, grading to the door. 

“Did she really have another miscarriage?” Chris blurted out.

Cooper stopped and looked at Chris. “Your actions have consequences Mr. Jefferson.” Cooper took a breath. “You don’t get to ask about or act concerned about the woman you raped and sexually abuse.” He turned and walked out the room leaving Chris there with his thoughts.

Cooper walked to his car pulling his phone from his pocket. Holding it to his ear he unlocked his car and got in. “Hello?”

“Hey, Jared. Listen buddy, are you home right now?”

“Yeah, Why was court cancelled?”

“I’ll explain all of that when I get there.” It was only twenty minutes later when Cooper pulle up into Jared and Lexi’s driveway. “Jared, hey, is Lexi here?” Cooper greeted Jared with a hug as they walked into the house.

“Yeah, she is in the living room.”

“How is she?”

“Better.” Jared told him as they entered the room.

“Hey Cooper.” Lexi greeted as Cooper leaned down, giving her a hug.

“Hey sweetie. How are you feeling?” Cooper asked sitting next to Lexi, Jared sitting on the opposite side.

“I’m okay.”

“I know it’s been a rough few weeks.” He placed his hand on Lexi’s and looked to Jared as well. “I can’t tell you two how sorry I am that this happened.”

“Thanks.” Lexi said. “Things happened.” She gave Cooper’s hand a squeeze. “So what’s going on?”

“Court was cancelled this morning because before I could even fully wake up I was called into the judges chambers. We found out who leaked all the information to the media.”

“Who?” Lexi and Jared asked in unison.

“It was Durning’s partner.”

“What?!” Jared looked between Cooper and Lexi.

“He was busted by Durning and he actually had the good sense to report it to Judge Browning.” Cooper pulled out a few papers. “This is stating that he was let go from the firm, and action from the court will be taken to see fit the punishment for his crimes against the court.” Lexi and Jared looked over the papers. “There is something else.” The two looked at Cooper. “Before Chris joined our meeting this morning, Durning mentioned a few things.”

“Like?” Jared asked.

“Like, there were several times during the trial so far when Chris told him not to cross examine the witness. Mostly when Lexi was on the stand.”

“Why would he do that?” Lexi looked at Cooper expecting an answer.

“I have no idea. Especially considering Durning was gonna attack you and make you look like a gold digger.” Cooper explained. “He had a plan to turn the tables and make you look like you went for older guys who were “of power” and well off financially. It was pretty convincing to be honest. But Chris wouldn’t let him.”

“That makes no sense.” Jared added with confusion.

“I know. And Chris also asked about you today.” Cooper looked at Lexi. “He found out about what happened.” Lexi looked down at her hand in Jared’s. “Lex,” Cooper grabbed her attention. “He asked to see you.”

“No.” Jared said as soon as the words left Coopers mouth. “Tell him no, she isn’t going anywhere near him.” Jared stood in agitation.

“I’ll go.” Lexi said looking up at Jared.

“I’m gonna let you two talk.” Cooper rose to his feet.

“No need. You aren’t going.” Jared looked back at Lexi. “Come on, Coop. I’ll walk you out.”

When Jared returned he didn’t see Lexi in the living room or kitchen. He heard a sound of pillows rustling in the bedroom as he walked down the hallway upstairs. Lexi was making the bed, tossing the pillows and pulling the blankets all with a little more force than needed. It was obvious she was agitated. 

“Babe-”

“Don’t.” She snapped not looking up from the bed, throwing one of the king pillows back onto the bed. 

“Lexi, I know you’re mad-”

“No. Not mad. I’m pissed off!” She placed the second pillow in its spot. “”Where the hell do you get off making decisions for me like that?”

“Well, considering the situation I think I have the right to.”

“How? How do you get the right to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

“I don’t, I just mean-”

“Exactly!” Lexi snapped walking around the bed to stand in front of Jared. “You don’t! So what makes you think you can say if I go talk to him or not?”

“Because right now you are in any state to deal with this kind of crap!” Jared snapped back. 

“I can handle seeing that asshat! You just don’t want me to!”

“You’re right, I don’t! You have no reason to! And mentally you’re still fragile right now! You’re still hurting!”

“No, I’m not! The problem is you want me to be!” She shoved her index finger into his chest. “You want me to still be a crying mess curled up in a ball in bed!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Bullshit! You want me to be a poor defenseless little thing so you can swoop in and make the decisions because as always, you think you know better! I may not be able to do a damn thing right but I can still make my own decisions!” She shoved passed him.

Jared followed her into the hall. “ That’s not true. What makes you think you can’t do anything right?! Why would you say that?!”

Lexi let out an unhumorous laugh. “Like you haven’t thought about it!” She kept going till she reached down the hall, down the stairs till she was halfway through the house. “I’ve messed up most of my life doing dumb thing after dumb thing and now its just coming to ahead! I mean, I can’t even have a baby right! I can’t even have a baby at all!”

“Lexi, stop!” Jared kept following her till she was in the kitchen. She grabbed a wine glass and a bottle of wine. “Lex, what are you doing?” His voice calmer.

“You’re right.” She put the wine glass back and grabbed a glass whiskey tumbler then walked out of the kitchen and into Jared’s office. “This seems like a situation for something harder.” Lexi grabbed his bottle of Scotch from the liquor table in his office.

She took the bottle out to the back sunroom and poured herself a glass. The sky was a dark gray color despite it being only mid afternoon, as a storm inched its way closer. The sky would light up when the lighting from the approaching storm would strike through the sky. Jared watched her from behind the glass of the door as she sipped her drink. 

Jared walked back to the kitchen grabbing himself a whiskey tumbler and walked out to the sun room. He sat in the chair next to Lexi and poured himself a glass. 

They sat in silence for a long while just looking out at the yard. When the rain finally started to pour from the sky Jared spoke. “Rainstorms were always calming to me. Chaotic and pure at the same time.” Lexi didn’t say anything, she simply looked out at the rainfall bringing her glass to her lips for a small sip of whiskey. “Kinda like you.” Jared told her, his eyes fixated on her. Lexi didn’t say anything still, she just stared at the amber liquid in her glass. Jared took another sip of his drink and leaned forward, placing his elbow on his knees. “Baby, why did you say you couldn’t even have a baby right? You know this wasn’t anything you did, right?”

Lexi had her legs pulled up on the chair, curling the rim of the glass with a finger. “Jared, I’ve had two miscarriages-”

“And neither was your fault.” Jared told her, interrupting. “The first was Chris and this time the doctor said it could have been stress or something was wrong with the baby.”

“Ever think maybe i’m just not meant to have a baby?” Lexi’s voice was sullen as she kept her eyes on her drink.

“Do you really think that?” Lexi shrugged, still not moving her eyes from her glass. “Lex,”

“Jared,” She finally looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. “Can we not do this right now?” Jared saw her chin quiver, her emotions getting the better of her. “If you don’t want me to go, fine, I won’t go. Just leave me alone right now.” Silently her tears began to trace down her cheeks.

“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine.” Jared leaned back in his chair. ‘But you’re not gonna be alone.” He grabbed his glass and took a sip of his whiskey.

He poured himself a little more and reached over pouring another glass for Lexi. They sat in silence for a long time. Long enough for them to sip through three glasses of Scotch. The weather was still dark, the rain still pouring like a waterfall. She didn’t move much or really look at Jared. Jared stayed quiet, observing the sky as the dark clouds rolled over even darker skies.

Keeping her eyes casted down Lexi took a small breath. “What if I can’t have kids?” Her voice was defeated. “What if I have something wrong with me and I can’t stay pregnant?”

“What makes you say that?” 

Lexi shrugged. “I don’t know, the fact I lost two babies.”

Jared sat up a little in his seat. “We can see a specialist and have them see if anything is wrong. If you want to.”

“And if there is?” Her eyes flickered to his.

“Then, If it’s what you want we can explore options of fertility and IVF, if that’s the road you want to take.” She looked back at her glass then took another long sip. 

“And if I don’t want to go that road?” She still kept her eyes on her drink like she would find something special in it. 

“You mean if you don’t want to have a baby at all or if you don’t want to carry a baby?” Jared gave a curious head tilt. “Like if you’d rather adopt?”

“What if I don’t want a baby at all?” Her voice held almost a bitter sting to it.

“But, you-”

“I know what I said, Jared.” Lexi exhaled in frustration gulping the rest of her fourth glass of Scotch.  She reached for the bottle but Jared grabbed it first and moved it away. “Jared, stop. I’m done talking about this.”

“Well, i’m not.” He set his glass down. “What are you saying right now, Lexi?”

“I’m saying I don’t want to have kids, okay?!” She all but snapped at Jared. “I love your kids like my own and that’s just gonna have to be enough for you!”

“Don’t you even want to try or- or at least talk about it?” Jared protested with a mix of annoyance and dejection. 

“No, I don’t! I’m tired of talking about it!” She sat up planting her feet on the ground. “Everyone wants to talk about it! My therapist, you, Jensen! I can’t talk about it any more! I can’t-” Her voice wavered. Jared saw the anger in her face meltaway to desperation and fear. “I can’t go through losing another child, Jared! I just can’t!” She yelled out at him.

Jared’s heart shattered into a million pieces when he saw Lexi break. He got out of his chair and onto his knees in front of her, pulling her into his arms. “Okay, okay.” He soothed and she wrapped her arms around him, her face buried in his chest. “We don’t have to. It’s okay.”

Next Chapter>

“I’m here!” He reached for her wrapping his arms around her. “It’s okay, I’ve got ya!” He repeated over and over to her.

Lexi’s body relaxed against him instantly as he gently rocked her back and forth. Lexi shifted, wiping her eyes, taking a breath. “God, this is annoying.” She reached to her side table grabbing her water bottle and taking a sip of the cool water. Jared reached to his side table flicking on the side lamp before turning to Lexi’s again. “What time is it?” Lexi asked, placing her water back on the table.

“A little after two.” Jared looked to the digital clock on the bedside table then back to Lexi. “Your panic attacks afterwards aren’t as bad anymore.” Jared pushed her hair from her face. “I don’t know if you can even call that a panic attack just now.”

“The only times I really have the panic attacks after a nightmare is when you aren’t here.” Lexi looked over at Jared. “You’re my security blanket, you know.” She crawled into Jared’s lap as he leaned back onto the pillows. Jared wrapped his arm around her and tucked the other behind his head with a yawn. “I’m sorry I woke you...again.”

“Hush.” Jared kissed the top of her head. “Stop apologizing for stuff you have no control over.” He nestled his face into her hair with closed eyes. “I’ll leave the lamp on, get some sleep.”

Jared often did things like that. Leaving the lamp on, rechecking the windows and doors to make sure they’re locked. Little things that even though she didn’t ask him to do it, he still did to give her peace of mind. And he knew Lexi appreciated it. 

It had been about three weeks since the first attorney meeting and Lexi had four other meetings, two of which were without Jared. Jared had opposed her going to a meeting without him, knowing how hard the first three were but Lexi was determined to push through her fears and anxiety. Which, Jared admired her for. 

As a result of the intense meeting Lexi began having nightmares more often and anxiety attacks. But, still, she didn’t let it take over like before. Lexi channeled her anxiety, stress and her newly discovered anger in a more healthier way this time around. She ran most morning with Jared when he was home and even on her own a few days a week when he was gone. She’d also take to the punching bag in Jared’s workout room when she felt like she couldn’t deal anymore. 

 Most importantly though, she turned to Jared this time around. She leaned on him fully when she needed to break down. She let him hold her and take care of her. And Jared was more than happy to do it.

It was several hours later when Lexi woke up again. The sun was fully up and the lamp off. She rolled over reaching for Jared but was met with cold sheets instead of Jared’s warmth. Bringing her hands to her face she rubbed her face grunting as she stretched out in the bed. Sitting up and pushing the sheets off of herself stretching again pausing when she saw the bathroom door open. 

“Hey sleepy head!” Jared chimed, standing in the bathroom doorway in his red and black Saxx underwear. “Sleep well?” He walked to the bed, hair still damp. “Well, after you went back to sleep.” He added leaning forward kissing her forehead.

“Better. What time is it?”

“Little after eight thirty.” Jared sat on the edge of the bed.

“What?!” Why’d you let me sleep so late?!” Lexi stood from the bed but Jared grabbed her waist and pulled her back down. “What are you doing?” She giggled, falling back onto the bed.

“You were tired so I let you sleep. And as much as I missed watching your ass in those running shorts this morning, it’s okay. You needed rest, babygirl.” Jared half hovered over Lexi, his fingers ghosting over her cheek. 

“You look glowy.” Lexi commented, lifting her hand to Jared’s waist.

“What?” He chuckled.

“All fresh from the hot shower, your skin is warm and heat kissed.”

“I think you’re still sleep deprived.” Jared poked her nose with the tip of his index finger before standing and walking the dresser.

Lexi stood on her knees on the bed as she pulled her hair in a ponytail. “How was your run?”

“Good.” Jared slid his jeans over his Saxx. “Want some breakfast?” He walked over to Lexi.

“I’m good for now.” She rested her hands on his shoulders. It was funny to her, but the only way she could be eye to eye with Jared was when she was kneeling on one bed. And even then it was only to his mouth. “I could use coffee, though.” Jared’s hands wrapped around her waist. “Did I ever tell you how much I love your eyes?”

“You’ve mentioned it, yeah.” Jared nodded with a cheeky grin.

“You know, one day, I hope our future children have your eyes.”  Lexi smiled at him with a soft grin, letting her fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“So you want to add to my pack of little monsters?” He pulled her closer, their bodies almost touching. 

“Yes, I do.” She pecked his lips.

“It will have to be a few years from now. I don’t want to die.” Jared nibbled his lower lip before grabbing Lexi beneath her rear and swooping her up in one quick motion, gaining a squeal from her. She grabbed his biceps bracing herself as he laid her down on the bed with a plop and a chuckle, her legs wrapping around his waist. “We can still practice though.” 

Lexi gave a laugh. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.” Jared hummed before leaning down pressing a kiss to her lips.

He moved from her lips to her jaw line, his barely there stubble leaving a tickling burn on her skin. She moved her hands up his broad shoulders til her fingers were entwined in Jared’s soft, chestnut locks once more. He peppered kisses across her chest then back up her neck til he reached just her ear. Jared gave a  gentle nibble to the soft flesh just beneath her earlobe.

Jared’s phone rang loudly from the bathroom sending off an echo from the counter. His phone rang again, gaining a grunt of frustration from Jared as head let his head hang low over Lexi. She let out a giggle as Jared placed a kiss to her lips before going grab his phone.

Lexi watched Jared on the phone with a smile on her face.You’d think that with the trail just weeks away that she would be in a different mindset. But in spite of the nightmares and elevated anxiety she wasn’t scared by Jared’s intimacy. She thought that their love life would come to a halt when the nightmares started, but it didn’t.

Instead of Jared’s overthink and overbearing tendencies she was met with a calm, firm, assuring touch that made making love to Jared possible in spite of the anxiety and flashbacks. 

And when she did have panic attacks, Jared was there. He held her and let her know that she wasn’t along and it was okay to cry.

“Well that was a mood killer.” Jared said walking out of the bathroom, tossing his phone on the bed.

“What’s up?’ Lexi asked, still laying on the bed.

“Gen is on her way with the kids.” Jared crawled on the bed laying on his stomach next to her. 

“I thought they weren’t coming till tonight.”

“That was the plan but something came up with her brother, or something along those lines. She wanted to know if she could drop them off early.”

“So much for a little play time.” Lexi smiled, reaching her hand, running her fingers through the hairs that fell in front of his face. 

“Oh, I’m not giving up.” Jared smirked, lifting himself over her again.He placed a kiss to her lips before rolling off the bed. “I’m just gonna have to get creative.”

Lexi laughed as Jared walked out of the room just in time for the doorbell to ring. After dressing she went downstairs to be ambushed by the kids with hugs and exciting tales of school and weekend adventures.

“Did you guys eat breakfast yet?” Lexi asked with Odette on her hip.

“Gen said they were in a rush. They ate some breakfast bars but you know how they eat.” 

“Who wants to help me with breakfast then?” Lexi asked, gaining cheers from the three little Padaleckis.

The kids helped make pancakes and eggs with bacon and didn’t waste time clearing their plates either. Jared helped himself to two plates of food and was still picking pieces of bacon off of the tray.

Lexi was standing behind the island in the middle of the kitchen, watching Jared and the kids sit around the table in the breakfast nook, Odette in his lap. Despite all that was going on around her, her heart felt full. 

“Anymore coffee?” Jared asked, walking up next to Lexi. “What’s with the dreamy look on your face?”

“Nothing.” Lexi took the cup from Jared. “Just admiring.” SHe turned pouring more steaming liquid into the mug then handing it back to Jared.

“Admiring? Admiring what?” Jared chuckled, taking his cup from her.

“You’re an amazing dad, you know that?” Lexi hoisted herself up on top of the counter. “I love watching you playing and interacting with them.” She smiled sipping from her own cup. 

“Thinking about babies again?” Jared lifted a single brow, taking a long sip from his mug again.

“Maybe.” Lexi shrugged not looking directly at him. 

“Nu uh!” Shep snapped loudly at his brother pulling Jared and Lexi’s attention towards them instead of one another. 

“Shut up!” Tom retorted.

“Hey, hey!” Lexi hopped off the counter. “None of that!” She handed a napkin to each of the boys. “Wipe your faces, please.”

“He started it!” Tom snapped again.

“Did not! You’re just being stupid!”

“Hey!” Jared sat down next to them suddenly turning stern. It was one of the things Lexi admired about him. Although he is ever the big kid, he knows when to be the adult with his children. “We don’t call people stupid.” Odette crawled into his lap. “What’s the fuss about?”

“Daddy, are you and Lexi married?” Shep asked looking up to his dad.

“No not yet, buddy.” Jared looked at Lexi for a split second then back to Shep.

“I told you!” Tom spoke again, making a know it all face towards his little brother. “Shep thinks you’re already married and I told him no because we would have been there!”

“Well, of course you will be there when that day comes.” Lexi sat next to Tom. 

“Why aren’t you married yet?” Shep asked with such childish innocence. 

Jared looked at Lexi unsure what to say. He couldn’t tell his four year old that Uncle Jensen would break his legs if he married Aunty Lexi before she was twenty two. 

“Well, sweetie, Aunty Lex and Daddy have been so busy with work and you guys that we  just haven’t had time to plan anything yet.” Lexi smiled, moving Tom’s hair from his face. “We love each other a lot and want it to be a special day. It takes time to plan a day like that.”

“I be flower girl!” Odette blabbed from Jared’s lap.

“Yes, you will be!” Lexi answered with just as much excitement, pinching Odette’s already rosey cheek. 

“So, you ARE getting married?” Tom looked at his dad seriously.

“One day, yeah.” Jared answered knowing Tom was genuinely asking. “What’s with all this talk of Lexi and me getting married all of a sudden, huh?”

“At the school field trip last week mama told the teacher that if ever she can’t get in touch with you or her to call Aunty Lex. That she was our step mom.” Lexi and Jared exchanged a baffled glance towards one another. “Shep said that means you are married and I told him that you didn't get married.”         

“Well, mommy knows we plan on getting married. After that Lex will be your stepmom.” Jared explained.

“Well, what would be different?” Shep asked.

“Nothing really. She will still live with daddy and travel with me sometimes. You can still call her Aunty Lex. Only difference is she will have daddy’s last name after we get married.”

“Really?!” Tom laughed. “Lexi Padalecki! That sounds funny!”

“And it rhymes!” Shep added.

“Why don’t you go play before it gets too hot outside.” Lexi offered, standing.

The boys and Odette rushed out the glass french doors that lead to the back yard. Lexi picked up the plates they were just eating off of and began cleaning up the breakfast mess.

“Why would Gen say something like that?” Jared asked, looking at Lexi as she placed the dishes in the dishwasher. “I’ll go get the kids set up out back.” Jared quickly added before walking out the kitchen.

Lexi had cleaned the entire kitchen and when she walked into the living room she saw the kids in the backyard but didn’t see Jared. She noticed the door slightly open and walked to close it when she heard Jared’s voice.

“Hey Gen.” Jared’s voice was soft as he stood outside under the trees by the door. “I know you’re busy but I need to talk to you for a sec.”

“I have a minute, what’s up? Everything okay?”

“Did you- the kids said you spoke to their teacher and referred to Lexi as their step mom.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Her voice sounded. “I forgot to tell you! When I was talking to their teachers I needed to put down another name for the kids. I know Lexi helps with the kids a lot and I didn’t want to refer to her as their dad’s girlfriend/ best friend's sister/used to be babysitter/soon to be stepmom someday, so I just went with step mom.”

Jared chuckled. “Makes sense.”

“That’s not a problem,is it?”

“No, no! Just the kids thought we’d already gotten married without them.” Jared gave another light hearted chuckle. “I was just making sure we were all on the same page.” Jared hung up and turned to see Lexi standing there. “Heard that?” He held up his phone giving it a wave. Lexi nodded. “Are you okay with being called step mom?”

“Of course!” Lexi answered. “You know I love them.” She looked out at the playing in the yard on the swing set. 

Jared watched her,  then cleared his throat. “Uh, I'm sorry if I overstepped... about the last name thing.” Lexi looked at him puzzled. “Assuming you’d take me name.” He swallowed hard. 

“Are you kidding?!” She looked at Jared with amusement. “Lexi Padalecki sounds awesome!” She laughed and Jared couldn’t help reaching and kissing her.

That night Lexi was lying in her andJared’s bed with her journal in hand, writing away when Jared walked into the room with a heavy sigh.

“Kids are all in bed and asleep.” Jared fell forward on his elbows, climbing on the bed next to Lexi. “How do they have so much energy at nine thirty at night?”

“They take after their daddy.” She smiled, still writing.

“What are you writing about tonight?” Jared pretends to peek at her journal.

“No peeking!” Jared leaned forward again with a bigger smile. “Jared Tristan, don’t you dare!” She moved her journal away from his eyesight farther.

“Uh oh, you used my middle name, I must be in trouble now!” Jared snatched the journal from her hands and tossed it to the side. “It’s okay. I’m not interested in your journal anyway.” He leaned forward placing a simple kiss to her lips. 

He pulled away and stared at her for a while. Just looking into her eyes he felt safe and at home. Having Lexi and the kids all under one roof made him feel complete. He wanted to keep this feeling.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She ran her fingers through his hair, his eyes giving off a sparkle. 

“Marry me.”

“What?” Lexi tilted her head looking at Jared. “We had this conversation, remember?” She sat up, Jared lifting himself to do the same.

“And, I’m changing my mind.” He sat in front of her with an air of sureness about him. 

“What do you mean, you changed your mind?” She sat with her knees propped up in front of her. 

“I mean I want to get married now.” He placed a hand on her knee. “Instead of waiting two more years.”

“Jared,” Lexi shook her head in a huff and got up from the bed.

“Not the reaction I was expecting.” He followed.

“Jared, you promised Jensen.”

“I said let's get married. I never said tell Jensen.”

“Are you insane?!” Lexi snapped.

“Probably but that’s not the topic right now.” Jared sat on the edge of the bed nearest Lexi. “Right now we are talking about getting married.”

“Listen to yourself! You’re talking about sneaking off and eloping!” She stood in front of Jared waving her arms.

Jared simply reached his arm out, taking her hands in his. “Come here.” He pulled her close to him, til her eyes were even with his. “I want you to be my wife. Hearing the kids talk about how theft already thought we were married and then how excited they are to be a part of it, I want that. I want to marry you now.” 

“If we elope they won’t be a part of it.”

“We marry now and then have a big wedding later that they can be part of.” Jared explained.

“God,” Lexi looked at Jared placing a hand on his face. “You’re serious aren’t you?”

“I am.”

Lexi leaned forward kissing him, letting her forehead rest on his. “Can we wait till after the trial?”

“Anything you want.” Jared scooped her up laying her on the bed.

Lexi giggled as she fell to the bed, Jared kissing her neck as he laid on her. “You’ll have to talk to Jensen though.”

“I will.” He said between kisses on her chest. “Eventually.”

“Before we get married.”

“Okay.” He answered, pulling her shorts down her legs.

“So are we talking like Vegas?”Lexi asked with a breathy chuckle.

“Justice of the peace, court house, doesn’t matter.” He pushed her shirt up. “Just as long as we’re married.”

“Jared, the door’s not locked.” She fussed. “Oh my God!” She moaned as Jared sank between her legs his tongue lapping at her sex. 

When Jared wanted to quiet Lexi, he knew how to do it. And he enjoyed every second of it. When he brought her to the edge he stopped just before she went over, wiping the slick from his mouth, hovering over her. She pulled him back down tasting herself on his lips, licking the inside of his mouth, nibbling on his lower lip. God, how much she loved this man. 

She felt his erection at her entrance and wondered for a split second when did he undress? Jared was a smooth bastard, she often told him. She arched into him as he moved inside of her bringing her legs up against his side as high as she could. She wanted to feel him as deeply as he could go. 

Over the past several months Lexi and Jared were returning to how they were before Chris. They constantly wanted to be with one another. They always were touching somehow or kissing, flirting, a constant flow of affection.

Jared dug his knees into the bed, his fingers entwined with Lexi’s as his thrusts got harder, faster, he was close. SHe squeezed her legs around his waist and side, her nails digging into his hand as she arched into his. Their lips parted with a pop, her head falling back as she gasped.

Jared hips skipped, he buried his face in her neck letting out a loud primal moan as he came inside her.

Feeling her body jerk, he lifted himself on his arms and saw her, eyes shut still coming down from her high. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered before kissing down her neck.

~

Lexi stirred slightly in the bed, sleep beginning to break. Her eyes were still closed as she contemplated drifting off again. The cool sheets against her naked frame and the slight ache between her legs from multiple rounds with Jared last night gave her a smile at the thought. The door creaked open and she felt the bed sink next to her followed by the feel of soft lips against her warm bare back. He continued to trail kisses up down her back  giving a nibble to the small of her back.

Lexi gave a squirm and a giggle as Jared moved his lips up along her spine and over her shoulder. “Good morning.” Jared mumbled against her skin. 

“What time is it?”

“Ten.”

“Why did you let me sleep so late?” Lexi mumbled mid stretch. 

“You needed it and I had everything under control with the kids.” He leaned on an elbow next to her. 

“You mean they didn’t over take you yet?” Lexi sat up, holding the sheet over her chest.  

“They were starting to band together so I came for back up.” He nodded before leaning forward kissing Lexi’s lips. 

“Where are they now?” Lexi asked letting Jared lean her back against the pillows. His bare torso pressed against her, a single white sheet between them.

“Finishing a movie before going outside.” His voice was deep in her ear. 

“You need to stop before you start something you can’t finish, Padalecki.” She hummed against his shoulders. “Can’t leave them down there too long.”

“I can be quick.” He whispered against her lips. 

“You don’t know how to be quick.” She gave another giggle. 

“Maybe I like to take my time.” He nibbled just beneath her ear.

“Daddy!”

 Jared let his head fall to Lexi’s chest, Lexi laughing louder. 

The weekend went by at a fast pace, as most weekends with the kids. Lexi didn’t mind though, it kept her busy and she loved spending time with them. It was Sunday evening, the kids were spread out on the livingroom floor with colors and coloring books, Jared sat on the couch, reclined back on the fluffy pillows, feet propped up on the huge wooden table in front of the couch. 

Lexi walked into the living room with a little white organizer in her hand. She sat next to Jared, nestling into his side. “I want to show you something.” She placed the organizer in his lap.

“What’s this?” Jared looked down at the book.

“I know it kind of seemed like I wasn’t into marrying you so soon. And that you kind of worried a bit because of my reactions last night. I’ve been putting this together since you gave me the promise ring.” Jared opened the book and saw flowers and dress patterns, seating arrangements and decorations. “I know we promised we wouldn’t get married till I was twenty two, but I fingered it was never too early to plan the wedding you want.” Lexi exhaled in defeat. “But I really have no idea what I’m doing because I never thought I’d ever get married.” Jared flipped through several pages not speaking, Lexi looking at him, waiting for any kind of expression or reaction. “It’s stupid, I know-”

“No.” Jared said softly, taking her hand, kissing her fingers. “It’s not stupid, baby.”     

The doorbell rang signaling Genevieve’s arrival to pick up the kids after four days of hectic Padalecki kids chaos. The three got a good laugh at the step mom confusion, Genevieve stating that Lexi earned the step mom title long time ago. Jared was quick to agree with pride. 

After they said goodnight and Lexi and Jared cleaned up the last of the mess, they fell back into the couch, the organizer not long forgotten on the table in front of the couch. Jared stretched out a long arm along the back of the sofa, Lexi leaning into him as he flipped through the TV. 

Lexi was quiet for a while and Jared noticed she was contemplating something in her head. “Penny for your thoughts, baby girl?”

Lexi looked up at him, giving a simple smile. “No, just-” She cleared her throat adjusting herself. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” Jared said with a slight pitch change.

Lexi played with the hem  of her shit, focused on the uneven thread between her fingers. “Do you want this?”

Jared was puzzled, and his facial expression showed it. “Want what?”

“A wedding and more kids?”

Jared shut off the TV and turned towards Lexi. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” His voice was surprisingly calm.

“Well, it’s just, you did it all before.” Jared shook his head perplexed at her train of thought. “You’ve done the whole big wedding, invite everyone you know.”

“So.”Jared shook his head again. “Lex, I don’t care how extravagant my first wedding was. If you want we’ll go even bigger! I don’t care!” He took her hands into his. “As long as it’s you walking towards me, that’s all I care about.”

Lexi straightened herself and looked directly at Jared. “So, you’re saying we could get married at the courthouse and you wouldn’t mind?”

“Yes.”

“Or have a million dollar wedding in Paris?”

“Qui.” Lexi laughed. “I just want you and the kids.” Lexi leaned forward pressing a long kiss to his lips. “I take it you like that answer.” He smiled pulling her close to him as he settled back into the couch.

They lay there for a long while, watching some old movie you’ve both seen a thousand times when Lexi suddenly leaned forward grabbing the organizer. She flipped through several pages and stopped at one and handed it to Jared.

“Here. This is what I want.”

Jared took the book from Lexi examining it for a bit. “It’s beautiful.” Jared looked over to her. 

“Just a few people in Jensen’s backyard, some flowers. Odette and Arrow will be flower girls with Zep walking between them with the rings. Then Tom and Shep dressed just like you next to you and my right hand lady JJ with them at the altar dressed in a matching dress.” Jared smiled as she went on. “We say our vows at sunset in the fall.”

“I can’t wait.” Jared kissed her but the kiss was cut short when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it.” Lexi got up. “Probably one of the kids forgot something.” Lexi walked out of the room and then soon re emerged. “Jared, your attorney’s here.”

Jared stood  when he saw Cooper walking into the room. “Hey, man!” Jared extended his hand, Cooper shaking it. “Something serious must’ve happened for you to be here on a Sunday.”

“I have some news for you two.” Cooper dug in his briefcase. “I have the witness list for the defense.” He handed a piece of paper to Jared, Lexi looking over his shoulder.

“They really have me on here for the defence.” Jared lowered the paper looking at his lawyer in discontent. “What do they expect to gain? What do they even have to ask?”

Lexi took the paper from Jared’s hand. “They’re calling Jesse, too?!”

“Why Jesse?” Jared asked, looking between Lexi and Cooper.  

“Not sure yet, but we’ll find out soon enough. They pushed the court date up.”

“To when?” Jared asked with a head shake. “Why? The defense said they said they wouldn't be ready for at least six more weeks.”

“Tuesday.”

“This Tuesday?!” Lexi took a step forward. “As in the day after tomorrow?!”

“Yes. Looks like you started your hiatus just in time, Jared.” Cooper looked to his old friend. “Hope you’re ready for this.”

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