#chap 7

You give him a small, awkward smile that lights up your face and Jeongguk resists the sudden urge to tug you against his body and hold you close.

"You look beautiful, seriously," he announces, sliding a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"Your grandmother is difficult to please, I assume," you breathe, grabbing your Birkin and leaving your walk-in closet.

"Incredibly difficult. But you're a force to be reckoned with. I don't think anyone can dislike you when they know you."

Your reply is only a lifted eyebrow, one that makes the escort snort softly at the sight. "Come on, girlfriend."

You're nervous for the first time in a long time. You have no idea what to expect from these rich people but what you do know is that you can't let your guard down, not even for a second.

You don't really care about what they would say about you, you care about Guk and what they would think about him. So now for the first time in so many years, you're attempting to step out of your own skin, your own comfort zone, and help someone else. And even though you're not a good actress, you're going to have to try because you won't be disappointing this man.

"You ever just wanna vomit?" Jeongguk gasps, hanging his arm out of the car to feel the cool air.

"This is imported leather, do not vomit," you reply.

Not too long ago, you turned your car down one of the prettiest streets in the city. It's secluded and full of perfectly trimmed foliage, just a hint at what's to come.

"How much farther?" you inquire, looking over at the escort.

"Not far, the gated community is just ahead," he answers you, putting his forehead to the crook of his elbow.

You can tell that he's vibrating with nervousness and all you want to do is just turn the car around to save him from himself and his family.

"It's just… Chloe's gonna be there and my grandma… and just…" he can't even finish his sentence as he shivers.

Without a second thought, you pull your car over to the side of the paved road.

"Look, I don't normally say this to people that aren't me but you need to breathe," you tell him, taking his hand in yours.

He throws himself backwards, his head hitting the rest behind it with a heady thump. "Fuck, I'm just... Let's just go back to your house, I'll buy you a television and we can watch some mov-"

"Jeongguk," you whisper, leaning over towards him and putting your hand on his shoulder.

He whines softly, something akin to a frightened dog. "Y/N, please, I-I can't do this! I just don't have it in me!"

"I'm here with you. You don't have to be afraid," you promise.

Guk rolls his head to look at you and without a second thought he's unbuckling your seatbelt and pulling you in for the tightest hug you could ever imagine. Your arms freeze and the warmth that radiates through you from his enveloping almost makes you want to shut down.

"Hug me back," he mumbles, burying his face into your neck.

You're so comfortable, so easy to hold that the escort feels all the dread within him slowly seeping through his pores.

Your arms finally wrap around him and he sighs almost too contently against your skin.

No matter how cold and distant you act, you're more comfortable to him than he could ever imagine. If he could hold you like this for eons, he might not want a thing for the rest of his days. Who could bear to eat or breathe when you would take up all the space before him that he'd ever need.

"Why are we both two puzzles?" Guk breathes, hooking his chin over your shoulder.

You can't even utter a response before he's speaking once more. "Should we solve one another? You be Wednesday Addams and I be that… poor nerd kid named Joel from camp or whatever?"

You find yourself giggling then before eventually rolling your eyes at his silliness. "Why am I Wednesday?"

Jeongguk guffaws shortly, pulling back just enough to see your irises shimmering with playfulness. "How could you even be asking me that question?"

There's something friendly in the air, something coating you both with sheer comfort. And yet, something below the surface, something brewing since the moment you met lies hidden beneath it all.

It's wanting.

It's passion.

It's volatile and bright and loud. It wants to tear at you both until you're shreds of being. It wants to eat you both up and spit you out when you're sated with love and desire. It wants to put you into an ethereal state of being where you can only survive off the other.

And somehow, you're both so comfortable with this volatile proposition that it sits palatable on both of your tongues like an unspoken language.

It's when Jeongguk's eyes flit to the petals of your lips that you find your breath all too short and stuck within your throat.

"Hey Wednesday," he whispers, softly threading his fingers into the hairs at the nape of your neck.

"Yeah, nerd kid?" you murmur, letting your eyes flit to his lips.

"C'mere, sweetheart," Guk breathes, tugging you sweetly towards him.

"Wait, Gukkie… I don't know…" you gasp nervously, still moving ever closer.

"C'mon, Wednesday. What harm could it do?" the escort jeers, gently gliding his thumb over your lower lip, "You're my "girlfriend", aren't you?"

Everything in your body screams at you to pull away from his embrace and run away but there's something so hypnotizing about the way his lips move that it feels wrong to deny him of whatever he asks for.

"Just one kiss?" you inquire, allowing him to press his forehead to yours.

"Maybe more, if I'm feeling generous," he quips, leaning in closer.

You can feel the gentle heat of his breath fanning past your cheeks now. His breathing is shorter and ragged as if his excitement is overwhelming him entirely.

You don't know this and Jeongguk doesn't know if he would ever say it out loud but god, he's craved this. He wants this more than any-goddamn-thing in such a long time that it's overtaking him.

It's churning his organs to mulch and making his brain liquify into something gelatinous.

He smells of cedarwood and clementines, something that arouses your senses with hopes of smelling it for many a moon to come.

"Yeah, fuck it," Jeongguk whispers, pressing his lips to yours.

You're shocked stiff at first, not knowing how to respond. You haven't kissed in years, you haven't felt in years. But it's all too easy with this man.

You sigh longingly against him, finally finding the courage to kiss him back.

His lips move softly against yours, letting you dip your toes into the water before dragging you out to the middle of the sea.

Your lips are so soft and so expressive that Guk wants nothing more than to fling his seat back and take you in this expensive car. He can feel all the sadness and all the nervousness bleeding from your kiss but he can feel the excitement too. The escort feels like he can understand every emotion you've ever had with this one simple kiss and it's flooring him.

When you're at your most comfortable, you whimper against him.

The sound is voraciously loud within the silent car and Jeongguk can only groan in response. The noise reverberates through you, leaving the marrow of your bones tingling for more.

"Get over here," he hisses, placing both his hands on your hips and tugging you across the middle console until you're in his lap.

"Guk!" you gasp, pressing both of your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself.

"Attagirl," the escort murmurs, drifting his lips across your jaw sweetly, "God, you drive me crazy."

"In a good way?" you inquire, closing your eyes to relish in the feeling.

"Look at me," he orders, hooking his hand around the back of your neck. The cold chill of his rings sends a shiver over your skin and your eyes snap open to look down at the escort as he pants with wanting, "It's always in a good way with you. You hear me? Even if you don't believe it yourself, I believe it enough for the both of us."

Your heart flutters at the sincerity of his words, it pumps gorgeously fast at the weight they carry.

"Sh-Should we go?" you inquire, clumsily pointing your thumb back at the road.

"No," Jeongguk whispers, tugging you back down to him, "just give me a little while longer with you."

And who are you to deny him?

Finally after your lips were raw and your lungs were out of breath, you continued on your way to his grandmother's mansion.

Now standing just before the large foyer, you can't believe a place bigger than your own home exists.

It's gorgeous if you're being honest but you wouldn't dare utter a word with Jeongguk nervously hooking his arm around your shoulders by your side.

Not even the teenage-like, giddy make out session you had a little while ago can satiate him now.

The only thing he has is you by his side and he prays that you don't leave it for a second. You're his comfort blanket here, you're his protector.

And by God, you will fulfill it.

"Are you ready?" you ask, fixing his tie.

His eyes falter from the beautiful entrance way to you and his pupils shake with uncertainty. "Can't we just… go back and kiss some more?"

You press your hand to his chest with a small smile. "Maybe lat-"

"Jeon Jeongguk!"

All of his muscles clench at the sound and suddenly the sweet arm around your shoulders feels like dead weight.

"Oh no… please… please, I'm not ready!" he gasps to himself.

"Hello?! Jeongguk?!"

You peek over his shoulder to see a woman approaching at a rapid pace. Her hair is in banana curls, pinned on both sides like she's going to send her husband off to World War Two. Her makeup is flawless and her outfit… Well, it certainly accentuates her bust appropriately.

"Hello?!" she hollers, slapping the back of his shoulder with a grimace.

Turning towards her now, she simply blinks at the sight of you.

You know this is Chloe before Jeongguk can even utter anything and you've already decided that you simply don't like her.

You don't like how nervous she's made him and you certainly don't like how she tries to command herself in one's presence.

Raising an eyebrow at her, you look down at your gloved hands.

Suddenly, she's forgotten all about the handsome escort by your side and is now solely staring at you.

"H-Hey, Chloe," Guk breathes, clearing his throat.

She gives him a small, insincere smile before focusing back on you.

"Who's this Jeongguk?" Chloe inquires, crossing one demure ankle in front of the other.

"Y/N, his girlfriend. And you are?" you reply, looking up from your gloves with dead eyes.

Suddenly, you can feel the flames of anger coiling in your gut like you're some sort of wild animal. It's fun to watch her eyes widen in bewilderment.

Jeongguk calls you Wednesday but you're feeling more like Elvira at the moment.

"Excuse me? Jeongguk hasn't told you about me!?" she guffaws, sliding her ringed hand over her shoulder.

You aren't fazed by the giant rock on her hand, nor are you impressed with her little ugly show.

Just because the escort at your side can pull emotions out of you doesn't mean anyone else will. Certainly least of all this woman who just about ruined and abused him.

"No," you deadpan, sliding your hand over Guk's chest, "who is she Gukkie?"

You can feel how fast his heart is beating but when you press the tip of your index finger to his jaw and forcibly turn his head, suddenly he's calmer at the sight of you.

"My ex, Chloe," he breathes, eyes searching your face for any emotion.

"Oh. The boring one. I see," you sigh, tilting your head and looking her up and down.

She scoffs loudly, rolling her eyes. "Excuse me!?"

Jeongguk takes great comfort in how you immediately protect him, he keeps his eyes on you and he's pretty sure Chloe can glean all of the emotions boring from his irises to your face.

"So who is she then?! An escort?! Some woman you pay to get you-"

"I'm the CEO of a wine company," you interrupt.

"Y/N is an amazing businesswoman," Guk breathes, pushing a few strands of loose hair behind your ear.

"Oh really?" Chloe grinds out through her teeth.

You're surprised she isn't stomping her foot on the ground, in all honesty.

"Do you think you'll impress his grandmother?! Hmm? With your out of season clothes and your Birkin that's--"

"This is next season," you interrupt once more, moving away from Jeongguk to slide your hands down your dress, "Alessandro Michele, the head fashion designer of Gucci, is a client of my business and always sends me new releases to wear."

Guk presses his lips into a straight line, trying and failing to hide the proud smirk that's spreading onto his face.

"If anything is out of season it might just be that Balenciaga you're wearing. I saw it last season in Paris at fashion week. It didn't scream couture but with a price tag of four thousand it's affordable, I guess."

If Chloe was a robot she would be short circuiting and simply shutting down at your words.

"What?!" she screeches, stomping her foot.

There it is.

"My Birkin is another story but it's a boring one," you sigh dramatically, lifting the bag, "I don't feel like telling the tale of the creative director flying the bag out to me personally to thank me for funding one of their projects. It's just boring, really."

Jeongguk's ex is thoroughly shell shocked and you're surprised that she hasn't caught a fly in her mouth with how wide open it is.

"Anything else? If not, I'm feeling peckish. Talking about money makes me hungry. If you have any other questions, you can refer to Google. My net worth sparkles on the website when you look it up."

Guk chuckles deeply, pressing his lips to your temple. "I hope Winston is treating you well."

"It's Hamish!" Chloe snaps, crossing her arms.

"Sounds boring," you surmise, "I thought you had good taste, Guk. I'm disappointed."

Chloe scoffs again, narrowing her eyes at him menacingly.

"I do have good taste, angel. I have you," he breathes, putting his hand to your back.

"Chloe, I would say it's been a pleasure but I've gotten nothing out of our conversation besides a headache," you frown, lifting your hand in the air and waving it disdainfully, "What'd you say her family did?"

Jeongguk looks over at you with a smile. "They made the tin can or some shit."

"We made flasks! Flasks!"

"Fascinating," you deadpan, turning on your heel.

"Goodbye, Chloe," you chirp, holding out your hand.

Guk takes it immediately and when the screech of anger breaches past his ears, he feels as if he's floating on air.

"Can I say I love you yet or should I wait?" he jeers, opening the door for you.

"She's fucking boring, what'd you even like about her?" you scoff, widening your eyes at him.

"I honestly can't even remember," he breathes, stepping into the foyer with you.

While Chloe was a cakewalk for you, his grandmother will not be so and you will have to steel your nerves for the next meeting.

"You're incredible, by the way, Wednesday," the escort whispers in your ear.

"Oh, I think it's you that has to see that about yourself," you reply, accepting the gentle kiss he leaves on your lips.

Even still your work isn't done because now it's time to meet the woman of the house. And for that you are truly nervous.

Smiling at him, Joey kept her composure throughout dinner and over the course of a few glasses of wine. Ross was very much the gentleman, only holding her hand and kissing her when she initiated. And Joey very much did initiate it. She wanted to take their relationship to the next step, she really did. And she had it set in her mind that it was going to happen that very night. 

After making out pretty fervently on his couch, Ross brought her back to his bedroom. Joey could feel the sweat beading up on the palms of her hands, gathering at the dip of her lower back and she struggled with easing the nerves that were coursing wildly through her. But those nerves felt...different. It wasn’t the normal excited and antsy anticipated kind of nerves, no, it was more like a twisting, unsettling feeling that she just couldn’t kick. And it wasn’t but ten minutes into it–Ross having his hand slid up her dress and his fingers between her legs–that Joey couldn’t breathe. 

His mouth was attached to her neck sucking and nipping at her skin, and he was rutting his lower half against her thigh as his touch moved roughly under her panties. It felt weird, perverse almost and not right in her mind and Joey gasped as he went to yank her underwear off her hips, screaming at him to stop. 

He froze, lifting his head to peer down at her. “What’s wrong?”

She swallowed hard and lightly shook her head. “I’m, uh...I’m not ready for...this. I’m sorry,” she muttered.

Ross let out a heavy sigh and tucked his lips into his mouth, yanking his hand out from under her dress. “That’s okay,” he grumbled, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. He reached over and cradled her cheek, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Another time.” 

Joey smiled and thanked him, as a flood of relief soared over her entire body. She decided that it was probably best that she go home and Ross told her that was fine, he would call her the next day. As Joey hopped into her car and started to pull out of his driveway, she glanced up at Ross to see him standing in his open doorway, waving goodbye to her. She could only muster up a half smile as she drove away, her mind reeling with what the fuck had just happened. 

•

That Sunday Joey found herself headed over to Alexis’ apartment for mid-morning coffee and some much needed girl talk. Her best friend had called her the night before inviting her over, more than eager to know what had happened on Joey’s big date with Ross. Joey had yet to tell her anything about it, she almost felt silly and like she was overreacting, but she had to tell someone and Niall did not need to know that she couldn’t put out to her own boyfriend, so Alexis was the only person she really could tell. 

Lincoln, Alexis’ son, was the one to greet Joey at the door and he happily gave his teacher a hug. “Ready for school tomorrow?” she asked him as she walked over to where Alexis sat on the couch. 

“Nope!” he called out, his little feet running back towards his bedroom. The girls laughed and Joey plopped down next to Alexis on the sofa, the blonde handing her friend a much needed cup of coffee. 

“So…” Alexis began, crossing her pajama clad legs up under her and turning towards her best friend. Joey hadn’t even had one sip yet before Alexis was diving into the thick of the conversation. “What happened on Friday?” 

Joey let a small sigh slip past her lips. “Not much, actually,” she mumbled, peeking down at her full mug, “nothing happened.”  

“What do you mean ‘nothing’,” Alexis pestered, narrowing her eyes.

“Exactly that,” Joey began, looking back up at her friend. “We had a nice dinner that he had made, some wine, started making out...it moved to his bedroom and...he, ya know, was touching me and stuff but...I stopped him.” 

“Why’d you stop him?”

“I don’t know!” Joey told her, rolling her eyes up to the white ceiling of Alexis’ living room. “It just didn’t...feel right. I got this weird feeling inside me when he was touching me and I can’t even explain it, Lex.” 

Shifting her body to set her coffee cup down on the table, Alexis leaned her back into the side of the sofa, crossing her arms over her chest. “I know what it is.” 

“Do you?” Joey asked, raising her brows, “ ‘cause to be honest, I’m fucking stumped.” 

She nodded and pursed her lips in a line. “You’re still hung up on Niall.” 

“What?” Joey snorted, shaking her head as she glanced down at her mug, picking at the rim with her thumbnail, “I am not.”

“You are too!” Alexis went on, “Look, if you’ve got real feelings for somebody else, then it's going to be hard to get it on with another person.” 

Joey shook her head and peered up at her friend. “I don't have feelings for Niall, I told you we’re nothing more than friends.” 

“When’s the last time you saw him?” 

“Niall?”

“Yeah…” 

Joey licked across her lips, her light brown eyes dancing across the room. “Um…I dunno, like, a week ago? We hung out at his place and watched a movie, and we’ve texted a few times but other than that, I haven’t talked to him much. He’s been working a lot lately.” 

Alexis tipped her head to the side. “Well, maybe you should talk to him.”

“I’m dating Ross, though,” Joey said with a furrowed brow, “it’s kinda weird to be hanging out with a guy that’s not your boyfriend when you have a boyfriend.” 

“Why would it be weird if he’s just your friend?”

“I dunno,” Joey scoffed, “ask any male alive.” 

Throwing her head back onto the couch in a laugh, Alexis looked back over at her friend. “Touché,” she said, grabbing her coffee from the table and taking a sip, “but really, if you’re just not feeling it with Ross...maybe you’re just not that into him.” 

“But I am!” Joey insisted, “I do really like him and he’s very sweet and fun, we have interesting conversations…and I do want to sleep with him, I just...I don’t know what my deal is.” 

Joey took a small sip of her hot drink, her eyes peering over at Alexis past the rim of her mug. She could already see the smug look on the blonde’s face, the corners of her mouth tugging into a knowing smile. Joey rolled her eyes in haste and pushed out a groan.

“It has nothing to do with Niall!”

•

Her overwhelming and confusing thoughts stayed with her over the course of the following week. She had taken Alexis’ advice; she did end up face-timing Niall a couple days later. It was just a 20 minute chat, very friendly and easy, and filled with their usual banter, and it actually did make Joey feel a bit better about the whole situation. Her and Niall were friends and that’s all it was ever going to be. So with that out of the way, she was able to really put her focus on Ross. 

He had invited her out that Saturday night, and Joey accepted, wanting to kind of start fresh and forget about what had happened that past weekend. She was determined to get past whatever bullshit she was hung up on in her head and really try to make it work with Ross. He had mentioned that he had plans earlier in the day, but he was going to text her the place and they could meet up for drinks after he was done. Joey took the day to thoroughly prepare for the night; tidying up her house, making sure to primp and preen and she was fully ready to push back any weird or odd feelings she was having, to make sure the evening was smooth sailing. It was going to be the night that they took their relationship to the next level. It had to be that night. 

Around 8:30pm, Joey received a text from Ross. He gave her the name and address of the bar, and Joey should have been shocked upon reading it but she just rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle at the absurdity of the whole thing. It was Chris’ bar. Of course. Grabbing her purse, she straightened out the red form fitting dress she was wearing and said goodbye to Sadie before heading out. 

Ross was waiting for Joey up at the bar when she arrived, practically in the same exact spot where she had first met Niall just a few months back. The reminiscing made a soft smile spread over her lips as she stepped up to Ross and he immediately snaked an arm around her middle, yanking her into him to plant a kiss at her cheek. The bar area was abnormally packed from what Joey had remembered previously, but they were able to snag one barstool right at the end, Ross letting Joey take the seat as he ordered them some drinks. 

“You look amazing in that dress,” he complimented her, Joey tipping her face down slightly in a smile.

“Thank you,” she said, peering back up at him as he stood next to her, “you look great too.” 

The bartender set down their drinks and Joey grabbed her glass to take a sip. The two enjoyed a bit of small talk as they sipped on their beverages, Ross cracking a couple lame jokes and making Joey laugh before she felt a light tap on the round of her shoulder. Swinging her head around, she was instantly met with a pair of bright blue eyes. Ones that she was more than familiar with. 

Niall. 

A huge smile swept over Joey’s face upon seeing him and he mouthed a soft ‘hey’ as the young woman clambered up from her seat and tugged Niall into a tight hug. Her nose buried down against his shoulder, and Joey’s eyes fluttered slightly as she deeply inhaled. He smelled out-of-this-world good. “I wasn’t sure if I should come over and say hi,” Niall said as Joey inched back, her hands casually slipping down his broad shoulders. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine!” she assured him, glancing back at Ross. “I’m glad you did.” 

Taking a step back, Joey flicked her eyes between the two men that were situated on both sides of her. “Um, Ross this is my friend, Niall,” Joey began as she introduced them, “Niall this is Ross.” 

Niall graciously shook Ross’ hand. “Nice to meet ya, man.”

“Likewise.” 

“So what are you up to? Meeting Chris here?” Joey then asked Niall.

Running his hand up through his softly mussed hair, Niall pulled in a breath and gave her a slight nod. “Yeah, me and a couple of the other boys–” Niall paused and threw a thumb back behind him. Joey peered around him as three of Niall’s friends that she had yet to meet, gave her a wave. “We’re just watin’ on Chris to be done and then we’re goin’ to some comedy place.” 

Joey perched a hand on her hip, tipping her head to the side. “Oooh, that one place we went to?”

“No, no,” Niall said as he played with the fold of his short sleeve shirt that rested across one of his biceps, “it’s some other place that my friend, Evan here, likes to go to.” 

“Oh okay.”

“That sounds like fun,” Ross interjected, both Joey and Niall shooting their attention over to him. 

Niall pushed out a low snort before settling his gaze back to Joey. “Anyway, it was good to see ya, Jo,” he said, giving her a lopsided smirk. It made that damn flutter go off in her tummy and Joey sunk her teeth down into her bottom lip. 

As her eyes darted over Niall’s, it quickly drew her in deeper and deeper, like a tangled tether that wouldn’t let her go as the space around them folded into a blur of static noise. It felt like a thousand years of his gaze on hers in that split second and it wasn’t until she felt the heat of a body step up behind her that she was able to knock herself free of the tempestuous hold of his stare and come back down to earth. 

Joey shook her head, swallowing hard as Ross slid a hand around the small of her waist, clearly trying to lay his claim. “It was, uh, good to see you to, Niall,” Joey finally uttered, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. 

Niall threw her a subtle wink and turned towards the crowd, taking off with his friends in search of Chris. She held her view of him as long as she could, watching him weave around the other patrons of the restaurant until the soft dark of his hair could no longer be seen. No sooner had Niall vanished from Joey’s sight, Ross had spun her around within his arms and pushed his mouth to hers. 

At first wanting to pull back, Joey quickly changed her mind and went with it, leaning into him and urging him to kiss her even harder. She knew this was yet another power move by Ross, knowing that he had felt somewhat threatened by Niall and the thought made her smile into the kiss. She quite liked that idea; that Niall could provoke such a reaction just by the way he looked at her and Joey reached up to cup around Ross’s jaw, nipping gently at his tongue before easing her lips away. 

They spent the rest of the evening sipping away at a few more drinks and talking and laughing and Joey couldn’t argue the shift in Ross’ behavior. He seemed way more touchy, more possessive; his hands on her thigh, soft kisses on her lips for no reason other than there had been a break in Joey taking a sip of her drink. And while it felt a little on the strange side, a little too controlling for her liking, Joey decided to just go with the flow of it all. 

By the time they had made it back to Joey’s apartment, they both had a good amount of alcohol in their systems, but Joey was definitely feeling it more. Her head was cloudy, her words slurred between her unstoppable giggles and she almost didn't register his mouth on hers the second they had stepped through her front door. But she let him kiss her. And she let him take off her dress. She let him pull her back into her bedroom. She let him suck at her neck and bite at the flesh of her breasts. She let him pull off her panties and slide his naked body between her legs. She let him enter her. 

Her mind had gone numb, her skin dank and crawling with an influx of aberration as he started to move on top of her. She felt absolutely nothing as he worked above her; not an ignited spark of heat, not a heavy rush of passion, not a single ounce of pleasure, but she didn’t stop him. After a few minutes of him pushing inside her as his sweat dripped onto her exposed flesh, he had her flipped onto her stomach, Joey’s red hair plastered to her sticky face and her balled up fists tucked up by her head as her body fell limp. 

Trying to make herself feel something, anything, she rolled her hips back towards him slightly. But all that did was make Ross push her face further into the mattress and thrust into her harder, so much that it had started to hurt and by the time Joey had squeezed her eyes closed under the protection of her crumpled duvet, it was over. An animalistic grunt barreled from his throat and greased the back of her neck, his heaving, drenched frame halting to a stop on top of her for only a moment before he hoisted himself off. 

Joey released a long held breath, her eyes slowly peeling open to see the glow of the moon from her window shining on the wall behind the head of her bed. Uncurling her fingers, she softly brushed the hair away from the front of her face and rolled herself over. Grabbing a small throw blanket from the end of her bed, Joey bundled it over her exposed body and carefully sat herself up. 

Rubbing at her eye, she could barely see in the dark of her bedroom the shadow of Ross getting dressed and she furrowed her brow and peaked around him, hearing the faint whines of Sadie at her closed bedroom door. “Are you leaving?” she asked him, Ross having yet to say a word to her. 

“Yeah, I gotta get home,” he mumbled as he pulled on his shirt, “my girlfriend is getting back from San Antonio early in the morning.” 

With her lips falling to a part, Joey shook her head as she wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly. “Excuse me, your...your what?”

He looked over at her through the tops of his eyes as he buckled up his belt. “My girlfriend,” he said, “she travels a lot for work, so I’m allowed to, ya know, sleep around. Have a little fun when she’s gone.” 

“You’re...kidding me, right?” Joey said to him, a slight tremble in her voice.

Ross planted his hands on his hips in a chuckle. “No. You didn’t actually think this was a...thing, did you?” he asked her. Joey remained silent, her jaw hanging open as she stared at him in what one could only assume was complete shock. And embarrassment. “Oh...you did.”

Joey carded her fingers through her tangly red hair in a huff, wrapping the blanket tighter around her bare chest. “I can’t believe I just slept with you,” she began, her voice raising with each word that spit past her lips as her eyes darted across the floor at his feet. “You’re a total piece of shit!”

“Well, you’re an uptight bitch–”

“–and...and it wasn’t even good, what the fuck!” 

“Yeah, well, fuck you, it’s not like I had much to work with!” he yelled back, snatching his dress shoes from the floor. “I can’t believe I wasted a whole ass month trying to get into your pants for that. Glad I’ve been getting laid on all the other nights ‘cause that was the worst fucking sex I’ve ever had to wait for.” 

She gasped. “Right back at you, you cheating fucking dick!” 

“Kiss my ass, Joey,” he sneered. “This is 2020, wake the fuck up and stop being such a prude.” 

Sadie was full on barking and scratching at the bedroom door by that point and Joey slammed her hands to the bed beside her thighs in an agitated ‘humpfh’. She couldn’t even believe this was happening. “Just...just get the fuck out of my house!” she screamed at him. 

“No fucking problem!” 

Spinning around, he stepped over to her bedroom door and swung it open, Sadie going ballistic and growling at the man’s feet. “By the way,” he sniped as he paused in the doorway, “common decency is to at least shave your fucking pussy, ‘cause believe me, no one wants to know that the carpet matches the drapes.” 

With her eyes going wide, Joey snatched one of her pillows that was beside her and threw it at him. “Get out!” she screamed at the top of her lungs as Sadie chased after Ross, barking at his heels until he had slammed her front door closed behind him. 

Pushing a hand to her chest, she was struggling to breathe, like a thousand bricks were being piled on top of her one by one. Joey lowered her face into her open palms, attempting to pull in long deep breaths. She felt so gross, ashamed and violated and she fought to hold back her tears as she reached for her phone that was left on her bedside table. 

She sniffled as she attempted to open her texts, her hands shaking nearly out of her control. Her glassy eyes scrolled over her messages, but she knew without a doubt who she was looking for. There was only one person she wanted, only one person she needed at that very moment and she sent him one simple text. 

J: I need you. Please.

•

That was all it took. 

Niall, with his heart pounding in his chest and a lump forming in the back of his throat, was at her place within 15 minutes. He walked in, immediately noticing the dress she had been wearing in a heap on the floor and was then greeted by Sadie, hopping at his leg. He bent over to give her a pet. “Where’s she at, Sadie, huh?” Niall said quietly, before the little dog took off running towards the bedroom. 

Niall followed the pup and stopped at the cracked door to slowly push it open. His stare caught the sight of her, mussed up red hair and makeup smeared under her eyes, as she sat haphazardly at the edge of her bed. In the time it had taken Niall to get to her place, Joey had slipped on her panties along with a thin white camisole, the only thing covering her upper half. She had also managed to down about a ¼ bottle of gin, the same one that Niall could see still clutched tight in her hand. It seemed to be helping, but not nearly enough. 

Her head teetered upwards to lock her stare on Niall as he shuffled quietly into the room. “Jesus, Jo, are you okay?” he asked, his tone soft. 

She didn’t answer him, just faintly shook her head. Niall stepped over to the bed and eased himself down next to her. Staring at his lap, he picked at a tiny fuzz that was on his striped shorts before glancing over at Joey. The bottle of gin was pressed to her lips and she had her head tossed back as she took a big swig. “Jo…” he whispered, “what the hell happened?”

“He’s a fucking dick,” she declared as she brought the bottle back down and wiped her mouth with the back of her other hand. Moving her body to face Niall, she slid her one leg up onto the bed. “All men are fucking dicks!” 

Reaching over to her, Niall softly brushed some matted hair off her forehead and away from her face. “Darlin’, are y'alright?” 

She took another swig of gin. “Why did he do that to me?” she whined to Niall, tipping her head to the side. Her eyes were dark, wide and hopeless, her cheeks blotchy and flushed with what he could only assume was the abhorrent amount of alcohol swimming through her body and he furrowed his brows at her words, hooking a hand over his thigh. 

“What’d he do? Did he fuckin’ force himself on ya?” 

Joey noticed the aggravated rise in Niall’s voice and she shook her head. “No, no...it wasn’t like that, I wanted to have sex with him,” she started, her words slurring, “and we had sex, it just...it didn’t...feel right, ya know? The whole time it didn’t feel right.” 

Niall swallowed hard as he listened. “I just wanted him to like me,” she went on, a slight break in her voice as she waved the bottle of gin in the air, “I wanted it to actually be something.” 

“You can’t force somethin’ that’s not there, Jo,” Niall said, pushing out a breath. 

“I know,” she softly whispered, her stare falling to the bend of her knee as she pinched at the skin. “It doesn’t really matter anyway ‘cause he has a girlfriend.” 

Niall pulled his face in. “Jesus Christ, are ya kiddin’ me? You been datin’ that guy for a month!”

Joey peeked back at him. “Apparently she works out of town a lot,” she said with an eye roll, “and he is allowed to sleep with whoever he wants. And of course he didn’t tell me that until after I slept with him.” 

Resting his elbow on his knee, Niall leaned over and ran his fingers up through his hair in a sigh. “I’m sorry, Jo.” 

“I just feel so...stupid,” she said, Niall peering back over at her and noticing her chin begin to tremble. She had dragged her gaze away from his, staring out of the window on the adjacent wall. Niall could see the gleam of tears welling up in her eyes and Joey sniffled as she went on. “I feel so stupid and used and...gross and….no one is ever gonna want me. I’m-...I’m never gonna–”

Her words broke as she dropped her face into her hand in a full on sob. Pulling in a breath, Niall reached over and grabbed the bottle of gin from her, setting it down on the nightstand. He tugged the sad girl into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and cupping the back of her head, Joey tumbling her face into the crook of his neck as she cried. “Hey…hey, shush, love,” he mumbled out into her hair, “that’s not true, okay? You know that’s not true. That guy is a fuckin’ prick, he doesn’t mean shit.” 

Joey pulled back slightly, her stare meeting Niall’s as his hands moved to cradle around her face. She sniffled, a few tears slipping down her cheeks and he used the pads of his thumbs to gently wipe them away. “Niall?” 

“Yeah…”

“Can you lay in my bed with me?” Joey asked him, watching his blue eyes dart over hers as she let out a soft sigh. “Can you...just hold me? Please?” 

Niall breathed out a half smile. “Yeah, petal,” he whispered, “I can do that.” 

Joey gave him a slight nod as she started to scooch her body backwards up the bed. Niall quickly tossed off his shoes, and by the time she had situated herself under the covers, he was right in there next to her. They both rolled to their sides, facing each other and Joey moved her hair from off her neck as she shifted closer to Niall, using his one outstretched arm for a pillow as his other encompassed her curled up frame. Their faces sat merely an inch apart, their noses nearly touching and Joey pulled in a shaky breath, still settling herself from her tears. 

Letting her stare glide over his, Joey bit at her bottom lip as she reached up with her fingertip and gently began to ghost along the side of his face. From his temple down to the arch of his jawline, her finger dragged over his soft warm skin tracing the faint shadow that was caused by the glowing moon. Niall kept his eyes glued to hers as he watched her follow her delicate movements, all the while his heart pounded wild in his chest. The room around them was still; silent as the dead of night like everything around them had vanished into the bottom of the dark sea and the only thing keeping them alive was the beating of their hearts and the tiny faint breaths of Joey that puffed out across his mouth. 

A soft smile eased over her lips. “You’re so pretty,” she whispered. 

His big hand gently pet down her hair as he gave her a low chuckle. “Not nearly as pretty as you.”

“I look like dog shit,” she commented under her breath, lightly rolling her eyes. 

Niall smiled at her, his heavy lidded eyes locking with hers as his fingers twisted into the ends of her hair that rested at her upper back. “No, ya don’t.”

With her eyes falling closed in a smile, Joey nestled her body further into Niall, tucking her arms against his chest and burying her head into the crook of his neck. Her bare legs intertwined with his under the sheets, and Niall wrapped his arms fully around her barely covered frame, nuzzling his face against the top of her head. He slowly breathed in the sweet scent of her hair and it took him right back to one of the first times he had met her. 

Swallowing hard, Joey eased into his warmth; his body thick and soft and melded around hers like a familiar quilt that you could bury yourself in on the darkest of days and it always left you feeling safe and calm. Niall made her feel secure, he made her feel comfortable as if he could protect her from anything. As if this was the place she was supposed to be. As if the world around her no longer mattered to him, only her. 

“I’m so lucky to have you as a friend,” Joey hummed out, burrowing her face further into his neck.

Her words circled out around him like a storm cloud, yanking roughly at the strings of his heart and snatching it right from his chest. The way she felt for him, it would never match the way he felt for her. And no matter what he did, what he said to her, how she felt in his arms, he would not be able to change that. And it broke his heart into a million pieces. 

Pulling in a deep steadying breath, his eyes fell closed. Niall licked across his lips and tried with all he had in him to tame the wobble of his chin as he tugged Joey closer into him. He held her tighter, he breathed her in deeper, his skin soaking her in as his body felt her harder because he knew, with all certainty, it would be the last time he ever got the chance. 

And it wasn’t long before they had both fallen into a deep, much needed sleep.

•

The sun rose early that next morning, beaming in through Joey’s bedroom window and waking up Niall. His blue eyes blinked through the brightness, his head turning to the side as he reached up with his hand to rub the sleep away. He was on his back; Joey still asleep and nestled against him with her head laying on his chest and Niall peeked down at her. The side of her face was mushed into the fabric of his shirt, little melodic exhales pushing past her pouty lips and using his hand that was holding onto her, he very softly brushed her hair away from her temple. Her cheeks were ruddy, her lips a bit dry and she still had a bit of makeup smeared under her eyes, but as Niall stared down at the girl that was in his arms and wrapped around his body, he couldn’t help but think about how undeniably beautiful she was. And how he wanted to stay like that forever with her. 

But he knew he couldn’t. And he knew that was beyond anything she wanted from him. 

So he picked his head up off the pillow and gently pushed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering slightly before he carefully shifted her head off his chest and down into the mattress next to him. Easing himself up off the bed, and moving around Sadie who was curled up at the end, Niall was vigilant with keeping his motions slow and quiet so as to not wake her up, knowing she needed her rest after the night she had dealt with. Grabbing his shoes from the floor next to her bed, he started to tiptoe out of the room.

Pausing just at the threshold of the doorway, Niall turned to glance at her one more time as he slipped on his shoes. His stare trailed her body, watching her chest rise and fall with her subdued breaths and seeing the glisten of the morning sun on her skin. 

His heart could not have sank anymore. 

Roughing his hands through the sides of his hair, Niall sighed and eased the door closed to barely a crack as he left the room. He had just made it to her front door when he heard the patter of little feet come up behind him. Peering down over his shoulder, he was met with a cheery Sadie, who was hopping up to request a pet. Niall breathed out a chuckle and bent down to oblige the tiny pup. 

He gently scruffed up her head. “If only your mommy felt about me, the way I feel about her,” Niall quietly confided into the little dog, her big brown eyes pinching closed in contentment. “You be a good girl now, Sadie.”