#chap 13

"Joo-"

"You didn't even give me a chance to apologize for walking in on you like that on that day. So," he sighs, sitting down in the chair before you, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't have been so brazen and went into your room and I shouldn't have stormed out like that. I was just so shocked… I never tho--... I'm sorry, I apologize for putting you in an awkward position."

You didn't expect him to apologize. Well, you aren't sure what you expected, really, but it wasn't this. You at least thought he would give you some sort of attitude.

"Oh… Well, thanks," you mumble awkwardly, running your hand over the back of your neck.

"So, is he treating you well?" Joon inquires, crossing his legs and leaning back in the seat.

"He's really great and he's been treating me really well," you reply, looking over the documents.

To be honest, another reason you didn't want to leave the comfort of Guk's apartment is because you've had a lower fever the past day or two, not to mention the dizzy spells and extreme tiredness that you suspect is from all these late nights Guk has been putting you through with his wondrous fucking.

"Well… good," Joon breathes, fixing his cufflinks.

You're not as tight lipped and sharp now that he looks at you in the morning sunlight. You seem softer this morning somehow, seemingly at ease with the world that has so often given you problems. Although, you do have dark circles beneath your eyes that you haphazardly tried to cover with your concealer.

"Sir?! You don't have an appointment, you can't go in t-"

"I always have an appointment!"

Both of your heads tilt quickly to your office door as it bursts open and you simply blink at the man in the doorway.

"Hey, gorgeous," Jimin yawns, entering your office with two coffee's in hand.

Jimin Park is probably the only person in this entire universe that could change someone's opinion of them so rapidly.

Just last week, Jimin was cautious of you. He gave you an inkling of acceptance when you first met and now it seems he's closer to you than both Taehyung and Jeongguk combined. You don't know how he does it. He worms his way into people's hearts so fast it's like he's just always been there.

He looks over at Namjoon, seemingly studying him within a second before traipsing into your office as if you and he own it together.

"Chim-" you begin, only to shake your head at your assistant who dashes into the doorway with wide eyes.

"I went over to the apartment and Guk said you had something to do called work?!" he guffaws, waltzing around your desk and handing you the matcha latte you like.

Namjoon just continues to stare, watching how Jimin combs your hair off your shoulder with ease and how you certainly don't pull away.

"Yes," you droll playfully, leaning back in your large, comfortable chair, "it's something normal people do on a Monday."

Jimin's face becomes pinched in a moment's notice, teasing you in a quick fashion. "Couldn't be me."

He sits down on your desk, turning his muscled body to angle towards your coworker. "Jimin Park, pleasure."

"Namjoon Kim," he replies stiffly.

That's all Jimin feels is necessary before he's turning back to you. "Why do you look so fucking exhausted? Tell Guk to keep the dicking down to a minimum so you can get a good night's sleep."

You feel your neck and cheeks heat up furiously and you can only look up shyly in Joon's direction.

Your coworker's eyebrows raise promptly and he seemingly shakes it off with an astounded wag of his head.

You've never had people around you like this before, he doesn't know how to take it.

"Chim," you mumble uncomfortably.

"What?" he asks, downright confused before returning his attention to Namjoon who still hasn't made a move to leave your office, "Oh. Sorry, bud. It's normal to talk like this in my field of work."

Your coworker simply hums, taking off his glasses to clean them and in doing so, he narrows his eyes at Jimin to see him better.

"Why're you blushing?!" Chim coos, pressing his cool hands to your face.

When you look up at him with hardened irises, he deflates just a little. His saddened face quickly turns to surprise and his hand coasts from your cheek to your forehead.

"You have a fever," he murmurs concerned, putting his other hand to his forehead.

"Just a little one," you reply softly, looking over the documents on your desk.

"Did you tell Guk? You shouldn't be here if you're sick," you friend chastises you.

"I'm fine! Work is work," you promise, taking a sip of your latte.

Namjoon hates to agree with the intruder but he nods along. "You should have told me you were sick, I would have pushed the meeting back until you were feeling better. But I'm sure it's because you didn't wanna text me."

Your eyes snap to his and you raise an eyebrow suspiciously. Of course, this man that's known you for years is right but still… to say that in front of your newfound friend?

You're still a childish, hurt mess inside it would seem as you grab your purse and scowl. "Fine, I'll go rest. You can tell the shareholders that the meeting is canceled fifteen minutes before the call."

"Y/N," Joon mumbles, putting his glasses back on.

"No, you both know I hate pestering and people ganging up on me," you hiss, slamming your office door shut.

"We weren't!" you hear Jimin shout faintly and you can only roll your eyes as you leave.

You ended up heading to your mansion after the morning interaction.

When you finally stepped into your bedroom, you began to feel bad about what transpired but you being the proud person you are, you refuse to apologize.

Stripping off your clothes, leaving them strewn onto the ground, you crawl into your gigantic bed with a sigh.

Your quick, random outburst has been lost on you since you left the office building. You don't know where it came from and you don't know why you snapped so suddenly.

Cuddling the pillow that Jeongguk last slept on, you find yourself suddenly overcome with fatigue and you sigh softly as you close your eyes.

When the world begins to fade away from you, you dream of a huge Great Dane and his owner whose smile could rival the brightness of the sun.

"How's Y/N feeling?" Jimin inquires, tossing your boyfriend a water bottle after he finishes his reps.

The escort tilts his head, confused at what he means. "She was fine this morning before she left for work."

Taehyung slowly sets down the rowing equipment, noticing how the shortest of them furrows his eyebrows.

"I mean after she left work. I went there to drop off her latte and she was sick. She has a fever and shit."

"What?!" Guk hisses, standing up in an instant.

"Yeah, man. She stormed out and was all pissy 'cause that kid Namjoon and I were trying to take care of her. She said she was going home," Chim announces with a frown, "I thought she meant your apartment."

Guk doesn't take it as a slight. Surely if you were in your right mind and not ill, you would have wound up back at his place.

But you didn't even call or text him, you didn't even let him know that you weren't well. If he would have known this morning, he would have certainly kept you in bed with him.

"How pissy did she get?" your boyfriend inquires, grabbing his towel and tossing it over his neck.

He begins to pack up all the necessities for the gym he always brings, looking up at Jimin with wide eyes as if to tell him to hurry up and speak.

Jeongguk knows that there are times where your former self begins to peek out and say hello again. He can't imagine how terrible you must feel now that you're not feeling well and you're alone.

"Why did she go back to that fucking mansion?" he hisses to himself, grabbing his now wrinkled black t-shirt.

"She was really snippy and short, she stormed out. Y'know, how she gets when she feels like she's being backed up into a corner," Jimin replies, thinking back to just a few days ago when you got upset over nothing.

"Yeah, I know," Guk murmurs, picking up his bag.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Taehyung inquires, finally speaking.

Even after the first day you met the handsome escort was still wary of you but after seeing Jimin take to you like a pig in shit, he decided you were alright.

"Please," Guk almost begs, slinging the heavy black sack over his shoulder, "Chim, can you feed Hawking tonight? I don't think I'll be making it home if she's really sick."

"I got you, bro," he promises, putting his barbells down.

Taehyung stands up, grabbing his dress shirt off the machine closest to him with a sigh. "Come on, Gukkie."

Taehyung didn't seem to mind all the stops your boyfriend wanted to make, in all actuality it was probably refreshing to see Guk care about somebody so much that would equally return that kind of attention and care to him.

Now, as the escort quietly enters your home, he sets the multitude of groceries down on the open onyx kitchen counter with a worried sigh.

The mansion is terribly quiet, just noises of the heater sporadically clicking on to heat the floor beneath his bare feet.

Your boyfriend silently puts away all the perishables with the intent that he'll cook you some soup in a little while.

Guk isn't sure why you didn't come back to his apartment but he's not as worried as he might have been years ago when he was with Chloe. Just because you came back here doesn't mean you have less affection for him, he knows that to be true.

Fixing his eyebrow piercing, he looks down at the thermometer and medicine he just bought to try and make whatever illness this is go away faster.

Picking them up, he heads for the massive staircase that leads up to your room.

Step by step, he takes in your strewn clothes. They're haphazardly tossed about with no type of pattern or reason and your bedroom door is open wide with no light source to guide him in. The large windows are covered with the heavy black drapes and what little light from the hallway shows you looking tiny in your massive bed.

You're asleep, coddling a pillow to your body as if it would provide you warmth like your boyfriend.

"Baby," Guk mumbles until his breath sullenly, entering the room.

His mother was sick a lot when he was younger, he tried so diligently to take care of her while his father was away. Whether it was the poor conditions of the apartment they lived in or the woman who bore him running ragged to try to make ends meet -- he'll never know.

He strips off his shirt, crawling into bed beside you and you barely stir. You're usually such a light sleeper, any movement in his bed would make you wake up for at least a minute or two.

Your boyfriend gives a gentle kiss to your forehead, feeling the heat radiate from your skin and he sighs.

You're really not feeling well.

"Hey, baby," he coos softly, setting down the thermometer and meds beside him to coddle you to his body.

You groan gently, obviously upset with being woken up.

"Baby, Jimin told me you weren't feeling too good," he whispers, brushing some of hair away from your face.

"Guk?" you croak, opening one eye to look up at him before immediately closing it.

You feel worse than this morning if you're being honest, you're in this cloudy daze with a parched mouth and a rolling stomach.

"I'm here," he promises, pulling you slowly into his arms and away from the pillow you held in his stead.

"I might get you sick," you whine, laying your hot face against his cool chest.

"Don't care," he replies softly, kissing the top of your head.

"I don't know why I feel so sick, I was fine and then…" you're at a loss for words.

"It happens, sweetheart. I'm gonna take care of you," your boyfriend assures you, grabbing the thermometer and tapping your chin sweetly.

You allow him to play his role as doctor, letting the warmth and comfort of him being here soothe you greatly.

"Yeah, you're on bed rest," he announces, squinting in the dark light to see your temperature.

"I'm sorry I didn't come home. I-I just drove back here," you mumble blearily, already feeling your consciousness slipping from you.

Home.

Jeongguk's heart quickens at the simple word.

His apartment feels like home to you.

Fuck, he loves that.

"I'm here now," Guk whispers, allowing you to start sleeping atop him.

"Then it's home," you murmur.

Guk kisses your head softly, grabbing the television remote and closing his eyes.

This is the single greatest thing he's ever had the pleasure of experiencing. He's never been so in love, he's never been so comfortable and he's never wanted to give all of himself over to someone else before.

Too bad great things aren't meant to last...

Joey had brought the very last of her work over to Niall’s to finish going over. It wasn’t much, just a few worksheets her students had completed that week and with the following week being the last of the school year, she really wanted to make sure she got them back to the kids in time. Her papers were spread all over the one end of his kitchen table, a few notebooks and her trusty teacher's tote bag as Niall was halfway through preparing dinner. Joey perused over a math sheet, letting out a tiny sigh as she grabbed the half full glass of wine that rested beside her and took a sip. 

She was unaware that Niall was staring at her, unaware of the thoughts churning in his head as he watched a few strands of her red hair fall from her loose ponytail, Joey instinctively tucking them back behind her ear. His blue eyes floated over her; all her intricately beautiful details, the ones that made his heart race every single day, being drawn in by him as the turkey burgers sizzled in the pan behind him. After a few moments, Joey sensed his gaze on her and she glanced over at him through the corners of her eyes. Her pen had been quietly tapping on the table as she read over the text on the papers and her fingers paused their melodic movements as she turned her head all the way to look at him. 

He just smiled at her, that sweet little boyish grin that he did every so often that made her insides curl and twist like a knot on a kite string and she sheepishly breathed out a smile back. “What?” she softly questioned.

Niall shook his head, his mouth tugging down at the corners slightly as he rested his hands on the edge of the countertop beside him. “Nothin’.”

Joey rolled her eyes as she tipped her head, pointing the end of the pen at him. “You always say nothing, Niall, and it’s never nothing.” 

Pushing out a sigh, Niall nervously chuckled as he carded his hand up through his hair. Joey watched with slightly narrowed eyes as he then spun around to attend to the burgers that were searing in the pan. He stayed quiet and she began to get a bit worried. “Niall?” 

“It’s nothin’, really...” he mentioned over his shoulder. But it wasn’t nothing. It was far from nothing. He had been staring at her, watching her, seeing her sitting there in sweatpants and his hoodie with her things spread out on the table, busy with her work as they sipped on wine and he cooked them dinner. It all seemed so normal and unassuming and…perfect. And he wanted it all the time. He wanted her all the time. Just like that, every day.

And he had to tell her. 

He turned back around to face her, Joey having tucked her bare foot up under her thigh as she twisted her body around in the chair towards him. “I’ve just been thinkin’, ya know, uh, just got these thoughts goin’ on in me head lately…” 

His voice was on the verge of cracking, his eyes dropped to the floor and he was fidgeting more than usual, Joey could see it, she could feel it from him. But she had no idea why he was behaving that way and what exactly he was trying to tell her. “I dunno,” he went on, “it really is nothin’...just my own selfishness, I suppose, doesn’t really mean anythin’–”

“Niall, just spit it out, what’s going on?” 

Lifting his chin, Niall caught her stare and licked across his lips. “Jo, I think ya should move in with me.” 

“What?” Joey replied, crinkling her brow. 

Niall shifted on his socked feet. “I-...I think ya should-...no, no,” he stumbled over his words, his hands coming up to gesticulate all that was going on in his head, “I want ya to move in here, with me. My house. If...if ya want to. Only if ya want to.” 

Joey felt as if all the oxygen surrounding her had gotten sucked out of the air. She found it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to feel...anything and her eyes dwindled down to the soft lines in his wooden floor. “I…” She didn’t know what to say and she pushed a palm to her forehead, rubbing over the side of her hair. Was he serious? 

Peeking back up at him, Joey swallowed hard. His blue eyes were round with uncertainty, surely thinking he had just truly fucked up everything by opening his big mouth and the young woman just lightly shook her head. “We’ve only been dating, like, two months, Niall, are you crazy?” she said, not meaning her words to come out as harsh as they sounded but her emotions soaring out of her control, “I...I can’t believe you would even ask me that.”

Niall pushed out a heavy breath. It was not going as he had hoped. “I...I didn’t mean-,” he stuttered, “I just-...I thought…” 

Joey stood herself up from the end of his table and quietly started to gather her things. She wasn’t really sure what thoughts were surging through her, what feelings were tearing at every part of her insides, but she did know that at that moment, she was beyond frustrated with Niall. “I don’t understand why you’d even bring this up?” she started, shoving her papers and notebooks down into her tote bag, “why now?”

“I dunno,” Niall huffed out shaking his head as he took a step toward her. 

“You’re literally about to release your album, Niall...you’re leaving for tour soon after that!” she went on, not even looking up at him. “Have you even lived with someone before, like, that you were dating?”

“No…”

She peeked over at him. “I have-...I have and it turned out to be the worst thing I could have ever done. I don’t wanna mess us up and we’re not-...” Joey sucked in a breath as she gathered up her pens, “we’re just not there yet.” 

Niall roughly combed his fingers through his hair, his stare bouncing over her movements as she picked up her bag from the table and swung it over her shoulder. “I know, baby...I know, it was a stupid idea–”

Darting her eyes with his, Joey fought back her tears and chewed at her bottom lip. Maybe she was overreacting, hell, she knew she was but it still didn’t change how she was feeling. “Niall, we haven’t even said, ‘I love-...” she cut herself off and crossed her arms over her chest. There was a long excruciating bout of silence, one that stretched tightly around her heart and yanked on it over and over. Niall felt it too. She turned her head. “I don’t know what else to say right now.” 

Stepping up to her, Niall eased his big hands around her upper arms. “You’re right, I’m sorry, it was-....I shouldn’t’ve…” 

His words escaped him. And he felt like a huge prick.

“I’m gonna go,” Joey mumbled, and Niall could see the tension building in her face, in the stiffness of her body as he slid his touch from her. She wouldn’t even look at him. 

Niall swallowed hard. “You don’t have to.” 

“I think I do,” Joey nodded. 

Licking over his lips, Niall lowered his stare to the floor and rubbed across the front of his face. “Okay...just-...I’ll, um, call ya later.” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Joey had already begun to walk through his foyer, grabbing her keys on the way out. “Don’t forget about your burgers,” she casually mentioned. Niall could hear her sweet tone verging on tears as the door shut behind her, and it momentarily stunned him before he whipped around to the overly sizzling burgers. He quickly moved the pan off of the hot stove. 

“Fuck!” he cried out, slamming his open hands to the granite countertop and dropping his head between his rounded shoulders.

That was not at all how he had wanted that to go and he knew he had royally fucked up. 

•

There was absolutely no logical reason for her to have reacted the way she did, Joey knew that. At least in the grand scheme of things, she knew that. But she still felt that what he had asked her, to move in with him, was an insane and ridiculous thing to do. They hadn’t even been together two months at that point, nor had they fully proclaimed their true feelings for one another, and he just wanted to jump to the next level of their relationship? Joey knew from personal experience that doing that would not end well, not for them and not for her. And there was no way she was ready to put what she had with Niall on the line like that. She wasn’t ready, they were not ready and as much as she would have loved to fall into his arms and scream and cry and tell him how happy she was that he asked her that very question, she just couldn’t. 

And on top of that, she felt terrible and embarrassed for how she had over-reacted. Over the following couple hours, Joey sat curled up on her couch with her little dog and a glass of gin and pondered over all that had happened. As the hours ticked by, the worse and worse she felt about it all. And she hated it.

Every part of her tried to drum up a reasonable excuse as to why she behaved the way she did, why she got so upset and so cold with him. And no matter what, the only thing she kept coming back to was…her ex. He was the only other man she had ever lived with, and the way he had treated her, the way he had controlled her life and her body from the second she stepped into the home they shared, it was something that would forever stick with her. And maybe she put a guard up with Niall on purpose. Yes, they weren’t ready for that step in their relationship, but underneath it all...Joey was just scared. And she needed some time. Time to think, time to clear her mind, time to calm down. 

Later that night, as if on cue, Joey’s phone rang. She knew without even looking at the screen that it was Niall. Twisting her body and perching her arm up on the end of the couch, Joey cupped her cheek in her hand and answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, darlin’.” 

Her eyes eased closed at the sound of his voice, and Joey scraped her teeth along her bottom lip as she pulled in a shallow breath. “Hey,” she replied quietly.

There was a slight pause on his side of the phone, Joey being able to hear the soft rattle of his breathing before Niall gently cleared his throat. “I’m really sorry for this evenin’,” he started, a pang of remorse in his tone, “I-...I didn’t mean to make ya feel–”

“No, no,” Joey stopped him, carding her fingers through the side of her hair, “...I’m sorry. I overreacted and I know I did. It makes no sense really, and, I dunno, I just...the last time I lived with somebody, it was my ex...and, I guess, it just scares me a bit.” 

Niall pushed out a sigh. “I don’t wanna scare ya.” 

“I know,” Joey said, “I guess, I’m just worried about us moving too fast. I really, really like you, Niall and I don’t want to fuck up what we have.” 

“I really, really like you, too,” he replied, a softness chiming in his voice. It made a smile etch over Joey’s lips. “And I don’t wanna fuck anythin’ up. That is...the last thing I wanna do.” 

Tipping her head down, Joey dragged her stare over the folds of his hoodie that she was still wearing. It made a tightness clamp in her chest and she hugged her arm around her middle as he went on. “I guess I just need to calm meself down, ya know? I get too excited when I’m around ya. I just want everythin’, all the things with you I haven’t felt this way in so long, it’s like I forgot how to behave.” 

Joey breathed out a low chuckle and tucked some hair behind her ear. “I know, I feel the same way,” she admitted. “I just don’t ever want you thinking I’m taking advantage of you or our relationship or anything.” 

“I’d never think that, Jo.” 

“I mean, you say that now…” 

“No, I mean I would never think that,” Niall reiterated more sternly. “I know you. I know the type of person you are. I trust ya with everythin’ in me, Jo.” 

There was a pause in his end again, and Joey could hear Niall shifting around in his bed, familiar with the sound his body made against the sheets. “Ya trust me, too, don’t ya?” 

Biting at her bottom lip, Joey nodded her head as if Niall could see her. “Yeah, I do.” 

“Okay, that’s good,” Niall said with a relieved sigh. “We’ve officially reached another crucial level in our relationship, I reckon.” Joey chuckled, a louder one that time and it made Niall smile. “But seriously, love, I would really like it if maybe we came back to this conversation about you movin’ in at some point in the future? No pressure, at all. I just…I just really fuckin’ wanna be with you.”

Joey let her eyes fall closed again, her hand sliding over to rub across her forehead. “Niall?” 

“Yeah?” 

Taking in a deep, settling breath, she lifted her head and prepared herself for what she was about to say. “Would you be upset if I told you that I needed some time...alone?” 

“What do’ya mean?”

“Some time to think.” 

“...about us?”

Joey swallowed hard. “No...I dunno, I just need some time to myself. Just a few days.” 

A quiet had crept into the conversation, and Joey darted her eyes around her living room as she waited for Niall to say something. After a few eerily silent moments, the young woman anxiously bit at her lip and spoke up. “Niall?

“I’m here,” he answered, his voice soft and slightly reserved. “Um, yeah...baby, yeah ‘course, take all the time ya need.” 

“Thank you,” Joey replied, “I’m gonna go now, but I’ll call you in a few days and check in.” 

“Alright,” Niall mumbled, “hey, Jo?”

“Yeah?”

Niall sucked in a shaky breath. “I don’t, uh…I shouldn't…worry, should I?” 

She breathed out a smile, tucking her chin down into the collar of his hoodie. It still very much smelled like him and her eyes fell closed as she slowly inhaled. “No, baby.” 

•

Joey did exactly as she had told Niall she was going to do – she took some much needed time to herself, without any distractions from him or anyone else, to reflect and think and decide what she wanted moving forward. She knew she wanted Niall, she knew she wanted to be with him and his offer did very much hang idly in the back of her mind throughout the following couple days. But she continued to question herself, question whether that step was really something she wanted to do or something she wanted for Niall, to appease him and keep him happy. 

Joey had spent too many years conducting herself in that way to appease a man, forgoing her own wants and thoughts and sacrificing her own happiness just to make him happy, to make sure he would never get angry or leave her. She guessed that was what it all boiled down to for her – was moving in with Niall something she would end up doing for him, or for herself? 

Maybe it was lame of her, maybe it was ridiculous and completely unnecessary, but she didn’t care. What she felt for Niall, how he made her feel when they were together, that was something she was not willing to take lightly. It wasn’t something she was willing to sacrifice by moving too fast and for the wrong reasons. It just wasn’t. Her heart ached for him, her body craving to feel him, her lips begging for his kisses, and it was hard enough not talking to him for those two full days, she couldn’t imagine doing anything that would compromise their entire relationship. But she feared overstepping that level of their relationship that they weren’t entirely ready for, would do just that. 

The following morning, as lazy of a Sunday as Joey had predicted, the red head took Sadie on a walk and then decided to head downtown to do some much needed retail therapy. Joey typically wasn’t one to splurge on expensive clothes or shoes or anything of the sort, not really having the budget to do so, but every once in a while she loved to treat herself. She had gotten herself a mocha frappuccino and set off doing a bit of window browsing, not really sure what she was looking for, or if she was even looking for anything in particular. But it was a gorgeous day in LA, and Joey figured she could just walk for a little while until something caught her eye. 

It wasn’t long before a pretty little white number hanging in the window of the tiny designer boutique drew her in. It was gorgeous; flowy and soft and perfect for summer, which had already crept its way into southern California. After trying on the dress, and deciding that it fit like a dream, Joey hooked the outfit over her arm and strolled around the store for a little longer, just to see if there were anymore goodies she could find. 

Towards the back of the shop, there was a small rack of shoes on display along the wall. The cutest pair of sandals caught Joey’s eye and she beelined right for them, coming to a stop right next to another patron of the shop who was also perusing the rack of shoes. As Joey reached out to grab the pair of sandals to check the size, she nonchalantly peeked over at the girl beside her and her heart did a complete flip in her chest. 

It was Lila. 

Joey hesitated for a split second, her mouth barely hanging open as she shot her eyes back to the array of summer sandals in front of her. Her mind was going wild; should she say something or pretend not to notice her and hope she would just walk away? Joey eased her arm back down and bit at her lip. She didn’t have much more time to dwell over the situation though as Lila turned and looked over at her. 

Joey could sense Lila’s stare on her and, at that point she couldn't have run away even if she wanted to. So she eased her body around as she looked over at Lila. “Lila…” Joey clumsily greeted the girl, “hi!”

“Hi…um, Joey, right?” The blonde’s brows slightly crinkled as Joey nodded. “I thought that was you.” 

“I didn’t...I didn’t know you were still in town?” Joey inquired.

Lila toddled her head back and forth as she flipped her hair over with the comb of her fingers. “Yeah, I actually moved here, so…”

“Oh.” 

“That wasn’t really my plan, or anything,” she went on, “I was really just supposed to be visiting Niall here for a little bit and then we-...well, you know, and I was going to go back home, but then I just couldn’t seem to leave!” She finished with a nervous giggle. 

Joey smiled. “LA can do that to you.” 

“I’ve noticed.” 

A silence fell between the two women, Joey biting at her lip as Lila peeked down at the floor. She knew what she wanted to say to Lila, she knew what she had to say, it was something she had thought about many times before and she forced in a deep breath as she readied herself. “Uh, yeah, I’m kinda glad I ran into you because...um, I know we don’t know each other very well,” Joey spoke up, catching Lila’s stare, “but I just wanted to tell you that I am really sorry for how things went down between Niall and you because of me. I–” 

“It’s fine,” Lila said, softly shaking her head. “What can you do, ya know? He loves you, not me.” 

Joey’s hazelnut eyes drifted off of hers and she swallowed hard. “Yeah, but the way it all happened, how I behaved…” 

Lila licked across her lips. “Joey, I don’t fault you for fighting for him, for being upset that we were together. I would’ve been the same way.” She paused, lowering her head for a moment as if she was trying to pick her words carefully. “I really did fancy, Niall and maybe I put too much effort into what I thought was real, but...him and I just weren’t meant to be. I was...just a stepping stone to him figuring out what he really wanted. Which was you.”

“How are you being so cool about this?” Joey huffed out, narrowing her eyes, “I dunno if that makes me feel better or...worse for how I acted.” 

Lila pushed out a laugh. “ ‘Cause I know how he feels about you. He wrote an entire song about you, for crying out loud. While we were dating.” 

“You know about that?” 

The blonde half shrugged as she nodded. “He would play it all the time, singing it around the house and he never outright told me it was about you, but...I knew. It was hard not to know.” 

“Fuck,” Joey breathed out. 

“Look,” Lila went on, tipping her head to the side as she reached out and softly touched at Joey’s forearm. “I figure that if someone as great as Niall, cares that much for you, loves you that much...you can’t be all that bad.” She giggled. “At least not like I had thought.”

A rushed breath filled her lungs as Lila’s words consumed her head; playing on every note, every chord of the beautiful thoughts of Niall that came crashing back to her. Every look he had given her, every smile and laugh. None of it had been wasted, none of it for nothing and it made Joey ease her face down in a timid smile, her fingers reaching up to tuck her fallen hair behind her ear. “Just...don’t take his love for granted, ya know?” Lila continued, her voice capturing Joey’s attention once more, “Despite how he felt, or didn’t feel, about me, he’s a good one.” 

Joey smiled bigger that time. “Yeah...he is. Thank you, Lila.” 

“No worries,” Lila said, smiling back at her. 

“It was good to see you. 

Lila nodded. “It was good to see you, too.” 

Stepping herself away, Joey anxiously gnawed at her lip as her heart flipped in her chest. It felt like a swarm of bees attacking in her gut, and she tried to calm her rattled breaths as Niall flashed like a homeward beacon in her mind. ‘What the fuck am I doing?’ she thought to herself, shaking her head as she moved the outfit from one arm to the other and reached down into her bag to pull out her phone. 

She really couldn’t be that stupid, to think after everything, after all they had gone through together and apart, that she wanted to be without Niall. Even a second away from him was like torture and she smiled to herself, swallowing hard as she peered down at the screen of the phone and opened up her recent calls list. 

Just as Joey was about to hit ‘call’, her phone began to ring. Puzzled at the name displayed across her screen, a new feeling surged through Joey and she sucked in a shaky breath as she answered the call. 

“Mom?” she said, her light brown eyes going wide as she heard the soft sobs of her mother on the other end of the line. “Mom...wait, what's wrong?”