#cerazette

Im sick and tired of having extremely heavy bleeding and intense pain. So im going to see if I can try this pill again. Last time I got acne and breakthrough bleeding and hot flashes. But I know it disappears within 3-6 months. I'll have to stick it out this time. Not give up after 3 weeks like I did last time.

Okay holy shit I have just worked out all of my hormone problems. Buckle your seatbelts.

So when I first got to germany life was great. At the start of October I started taking desogestrel instead of norethisterone. I also started my new job. And had previously been on a probably too low dose of sustanon for 5 months. I started feeling really depressed, I couldn't enjoy anything, and it was horrible. I concluded it was the low dose finally staring to take its toll. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me gel. I started to feel better, slowly. I was still unstable for a long time. I had only taken the pills for a month because each pack cost €13.50 and I didn't actually need them.

Fast forwards to three days ago. I'd got more pills because I'm going to see greg this Saturday. I start taking them, and on the same day I come down with a stomach bug. I have a phobia of vomit, and it was terrible, obviously my mood was very low. I had a bit of an argument with greg, and I properly cried after for about 20 minutes. (I don't know why I didn't realise it then). Today is thursday and I was mostly feeling better physically, but my mood was still very low. I was somehow slightly dreading seeing greg for no good reason and it was making me miserable.

Then I don't know what happened, but I twigged. Cerazette can make you depressed. I remember my best friend mentioned it happened to her during her first year of uni. I rang her up and our experiences are basically identical. She was crying all the time for no reason or over silly things and feeling just empty and sad, like she couldn't enjoy anything. I've been feeling the same way the last few days, and I felt the same in October too.

I'm now just so massively relieved that I know none of how I've feeling has been real and I can make it stop. My friend said she felt almost normal after two days and even felt a lot better when she just skipped a day. And she took them for months. It's only been three days so hopefully by the time I see greg on Saturday I'll feel back to normal.

Most excitingly I've worked out that this means I can probably go back onto sustanon! Because the reason I went onto gel was because my moods were so terrible, and I thought it was because of the low sustanon dose. But now I'm convinced it was the cerazette. This means I should be able to go back onto sustanon. Which is great news because gel is a pain to put on, it's made me have a 3 week long period and less stable moods, and it's a pain in the arse to go to the german doctor's so often. I'm home for Christmas soon and I've got blood tests booked, and arranged for nottingham to confer the results of these with their endocrinologist. So they should be able to confirm this in time for me to go back to germany. So I can start enjoying my year abroad properly again!