#cendrllon

hello, my name is jay, and i refuse to remain silent on my extensive history with this group any longer.

i have documented the abuse and slander i have faced at the hands of this group since november 2019, and have compiled MANY screenshots with an extensive document so that others can see what exactly i’ve been through and how it has impacted me.

jay / @adultdefy’s experiences (with screenshots)

TW: mentions of abuse, pedophilia, suicide, self harm and other unpleasant shit

pego has:

stolen/edited the artwork of other artists WITHOUT their permission (changing joker’s skintone in the artwork they use of him)

spread misinformation and unfounded accusations of racism, pedophilia, and other HEAVY issues about other blogs just because they don’t like them, effectively silencing and driving them off the site and RPC

encouraged hate and defamation of character by manipulating and omitting information in their numerous falsified callouts

sent anon hate to people just for fun and namedropped people with the intent of sending hate their way

excessively STALKED the blogs and socials of people who have them BLOCKED and have already politely asked to be left alone

PLEASE DO NOT message pego, lavenza, or the URLs of ANY of the people involved with this situation with NEGATIVE INTENT. i do not condone ANYONE attacking or being unkind to them. pego and his group’s actions have caused their victims a lot of mental and emotional pain, and sent a LOT of hate their victims' way, and I do not wish that on ANYONE, even them. THE PURPOSE of this post is to share my experiences, SPREAD AWARENESS, and to protect others in the rpc and inform them on exactly what this group of people are capable of. every claim made in this document is backed with SUBSTANTIAL evidence. 

pego just happens to be at the forefront of this particular instance, even though he prefers to do his manipulation behind the scenes and thinks that nobody knows the true extent of his involvement, so this callout is geared mostly toward him. their treatment of others and the way this group essentially claims ownership of the persona/SMT franchise and its characters as a whole through their actions, words, and policing of others is harmful to the community, and has impacted the mental health and emotional health of myself and other victims negatively.

even after all that has happened, i still wish pego and his group the best. i am wholly aware that pego and some of the others engaging in these harmful behaviors are minors, so i want to reiterate the point of not sending hate toward them,  and it is my hope that he and his group can learn from these toxic behaviors and improve as human beings. i urge anyone else with experiences to come forward as well. you all deserve to be heard.

i do not want pego or any of their friends to contact me any further, and i wish to remain blocked by them. you got to share your experiences, so i should be able to share mine. please just stay away from me. i will take legal action if your harassment of me continues.

you deserve to feel safe on your roleplay blogs.

but so do myself and other people. 

ofc!! tysm………….jkhghfjdg

kasumi   psd   1    !           mostly red and blue, fairly heavy.

you imagine she’s been feeling ‘ wrong ’  for a long, long time now. you’re not stupid. you dig into everything. the idea of letting anyone just slip past you is unthinkable. so of course you looked up kasumi yoshizawa. of course you did. and what did you find ? 

 here is what you found, and it is very simple : a corpse. a rotting corpse with wilted flowers. funeral records. a sister. a sister. a sister standing in the wreckage of something awful. and oh, you know so very well what it is to stand in the wreckage of a life lost. 

 the first two years after your mother died, you tried to keep her alive in small ways. you plaited your hair in the same way did. you tried to laugh in the same way she did. you wore long skirts, like she did when she started working in the office. you spoke with the same inflection that she did.

 you know what sumire yoshizawa is doing. you did the same.

 it almost killed you.

    no one loved you more when you tried to be your mother.  no one hated you more than yourself. ( perhaps, you think, it was also because something deep within you then knew you were a boy, and that you needed to be a boy, and that you weren’t letting yourself be one. perhaps sumire is also going through something like that. it’s not your place to ask. and not your place to know, either. )

 she’s dying. it’s not like it’s your place to tell them how to live. you’re a sharpened knife, fangs sinking into flesh. you’ve seen the way they look at you, mouth twisted in something like disgust, something like she's ill when you tear into shadows with your bare hands. you’re hungry, that’s all. you like destruction. you like being the one to do it. unlike her, you are free. the proof of your freedom is the tangled bodies of your enemies.  their blood tastes like oil on your tongue. you’ll never be sated. 

 so you’re not exactly a perfect role model. perhaps, you think, they should look at joker, so totally free, so totally untouched by boundaries. perhaps you think it a little bitterly. but - 

 you know what it is to mourn so intensely that you become someone else. you know what it is to become a walking corpse. you know what it is to wish to be undone. there was a time when you wished you had never been born. because you were the one who killed your mother , really. 

 but here’s the thing, you realised. you’re alive. she’s not. she can’t do shit anymore. living your whole life wishing she was the one here instead doesn’t change a thing. you’re yourself. you’ll be no one else. and in that way, the one who killed her can atone for his crimes through blood sacrifice, the world on her altar like flowers on her grave. 

sumire should live for herself, too. but you don’t know how to tell her that. 

it’s not your business.

 “ lets get the fuck out of here, then. find joker and clean this shit up. you’ll feel better once we’re out. ”

interview the muse. / accepting.

 you give a pause, think about the question for a moment. it’s hard. you’re still not sure, after all this time, what love is. you love your friends. you love them with everything you are, but you’re not sure that’s what the question is about. you know what it’s about. 

 “it’s painful.”

 the first time you realised you were in love, it was as you were dying. death himself tore you apart on the moonlight bridge, and had you been flesh and blood, that would have been it for you, but your mortality has never been so fragile. and the realisation that your mission was over - in all technicality, you had failed - and yet you still wanted to be by her side... it hurt more than being torn apart could have ever done, if you had a sense of physical pain. 

 no wonder you had rejected emotions for so long. they were your only way to experience pain, and it is the natural way for all living things to avoid pain. 

 but - the elation, the joy, the kind of soft hopefulness that crept into everything, the need to get closer ! it had all felt so new, so fresh, so wild and free in those doomed days, with the apocalypse creeping closer and closer. and nothing could compare to the happiness so intense it had felt painful, when your feelings had been returned. it was like the world had stopped turning, and it was just you, you, you, and her, her red eyes shining. 

 nothing could compare. not the fear, not the sight of nyx in the sky, not the fear of losing her (because you knew she’d come back. you knew she’d come back.), not the sadness of seeing her and the rest of your friends loose their memories. 

 but it was nothing to the pain of losing her. 

 but that didn’t make it worthless.