#captainholt

“Sexy train is leaving the station, check out this caboose!”

“We shwayed the fung out of this place!” 

“NO it’s not ok, Babylon hath fallen!” 

“If I was a unicorn, I’d never be angry…” 

“Name of your sex tape!” (used like ‘that’s what she said’)

“Oh wait let me check… <googles it> Uhmmm it just says no one likes you.”

“Don’t be rude, prude!” 

“You’re a stone cold atrocity.” 

“Ding the elevator door is closed no one can hear you.” (while closing hands over ears) 

“Can you please stop, it’s like working inside a beaver dam!” (to someone who chews on pencils) 

“Yes, babies are adorable. They’re like we are, but so much smaller.”