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// This is a voice-acted version of a fanfic I wrote on AO3, Rainy Days! Go check that and my other posted romac fics if you like this!
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Shelter is always a problem out in the wasteland, but sometimes you strike lucky. Sometimes you strike extremely lucky. A hotel, albeit not a huge one, resting somewhat intact close to what would have once been the coast, if there was any ocean left. Just a wide expanse of sand, debris, and the occasional giant, mutated crab amongst other monsters. And just in time too, it had started to rain. Itās not much of a problem, but it increases the risk of various hazards, so itās usually better to find shelter and wait out the rain and the eventual pooling of irradiated and acidic water for a couple of days.
I trail along beside Engie, the two of us carrying all the supplies while Captain leads us into the building, Pilot already running ahead to check the place out. Iām not quite paying attention to what Captainās saying about receptionists and bell-boys, but suddenly Engie comes to a halt beside me, dragging me out of my daydream.
āHey, uh, Engie?ā I frown, looking around at the other man, who had very suddenly become quite rigid with a slight shake to him. Heās panicking over something, I realise, sighing softly and putting down my own bags to go over and try to coax out whatās wrong with the guy. āWhatās up?ā
". . . Donāt feel well. Iāll be. . . outside. Fresh air. Call me when itās safe." Engie almost whimpers, scrabbling to put down all the stuff he was carrying and head right back out of this hole in the side of the building that was probably once an entrance way.
I watch with an increasing frown. Fresh air? In this world? He probably got spooked by something, and I know I should stick around and watch to make sure he didnāt get into any trouble in the rain - from the safety of the hotel, of course, making my way over to another hole in the wall to look out from. Not even a minute passes before a high pitched screech reaches the ears of both me and Engie, the latter ceasing up in panic while I fumble to grab my gun, only for the source of the noise to reveal himself. Pilot sprints at Engie, yelling something about āplaytime on the beach with Doctor Angieā, and in turn the poor doctor spins on his heel and runs in the opposite direction. I canāt help but laugh.
āCareful, Pi, donāt hurt yourselves!ā I call out, watching them play this impromptu game of tag, mostly saying that to ensure that Pilot doesnāt inadvertently kill Engie somehow, and that both of them stay out of trouble. At least the DEX has turned on someone else for a while, I think to myself.
Itās a long while of watching them both sprint up and down the beach, stop for a moment to let Engie catch his breath, occasionally with Pilot coming up to gently pat him on the back or sit them both down in the damp sand, only for him to give chase again the moment Engie tries to get up and move away, before I realise that something is missing. Rather, someone. Where did Captain go off to? Considering the other two are busy, the job of finding zeer comes down to me. Not that I mind all too much in reality, but Iāll certainly make a deal out of it.
Turning away from the makeshift window Iād been watching out of, I proceed to start my search off on the bottom floor. I check the lobby, cringing a little at the decaying skeleton behind the counter, then checks what was probably a dining hall and joined kitchen (with some interest, but I find no edible food to speak of, much to my disappointment), and then finally resign myself to searching each and every room on this floor. Dammit. At least I wonāt have to bust my shoulder breaking the doors down to look in the rooms, since, presumably, if Captainās in one of the rooms zee would have already opened the door.
Itās some time into my search until a harsh, discordant sound reaches me, accompanied by a distant grumbling. For a moment I wonder if it was some kind of monster, but the grumble sounded just a bit Captain-like, and Iād have to check it out anyway, just in case. I head in the direction of the sound, only just pushing the door of the room I thought it came from open when a sound - music - suddenly fills the air. Actual music. . . itās rather soft and light. When was the last time I heard anything like that? It takes me a moment to register the actual room before me, seeing the source of the music as a slightly battered record player with a somehow intact record spinning around on it, and next to the table itās resting on is a very familiar trench-coated figure.
āSNIPPEY! LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE FOUND!ā I can hear the smile in zeer voice, as if zeeās mask didnāt constantly convey a smile anyway. Softening just a little, I walk over as zee gestures excitedly at the record player.
āHow did you even find this?ā I ask, frowning softly. āI thought these things were made obsolete ages ago, and if there were any left theyād be in pretty bad condition. And to find one in a hotel, of all places?ā
āSHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH. A GOOD WIZARD NEVER REVEALS ZEER SECRETS!!ā Zee gently presses a finger against my mask as zee shushes me, resulting in a slightly confused frown from me. āAND, A GOOD HOLIDAY ALWAYS NEEDS GOOD MUSIC!ā
āWeāre not. . . this isnāt a holiday.ā At this point, I should find it useless to dispute Captainās logic, especially since I typically give into the narrative anyway. Itās at this point I spot what probably would have been glass doors at the back of the room facing the ocean front, leading to a little boardwalk with steps down to the beach, but the glass has long since been blown in. Through them, I can still see Engie and Pilot running around outside, to which I sigh. āOh. . . those two are still at it? Theyāll be soaked through.ā
Captain turns to see what Iām looking at, delightedly clasping zeer hands together and sighing softly. āAH! MEINE FAMILIE. PILOT IS ALREADY PLAYING ON ZEE BEACH WITH GRANDPA ENGIE!ā While Iām trying to figure out how Engie is a grandpa and how the rest of us would supposedly fit into a typical family dynamic and just how flustered I am about the conclusion I get to, Captain waltzes over to the doors and dramatically throws them open. āWE CAN WATCH OVER THEM FROM THE STEPS! AND WE WILL STILL BE ABLE TO HEAR OUR MUSIC!!ā Zee announces, before stepping out into the rain and pretending to take a deep inhale of the sea air, then goes and sits on the steps. āGO GET HIM, MEIN PILOT!ā Zee calls once down, alerting both runners to zeeās presence and stopping them in their tracks. Thereās a faint "SIR YES SIR!" from Pilot before he begins to chase again, with a newfound vigor, much to Engieās presumed dismay.
In the meantime, I was trying to inspect the record player to ignore the fluttering feeling in my chest, trying to figure out how on earth itās still able to function. Did Captain really luck out? But finding not only an intact player, but also a record to go along with it - the odds had to be impossible, right? But the proof is here, right in front of my eyes. . . Sighing deeply, I decide that I shouldnāt think too much about it. What song even is this? I feel like it should be familiar, and it is, vaguely. When and where I would have heard it, I donāt know, but that feeling in my chest doesnāt go away as I listen to the lyrics.
āFill my heart with song,
Ā Ā And let me sing forevermore,
Ā Ā Ā Ā You are all I long for,
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā All I worship and adore. . .ā
I walked away to the doors before those feelings could get even more bothersome, looking out into the rain to squint at Pilot and Engie running, then to Captain sitting on the steps, now looking back at me and gently patting the space next to zeer in a silent invitation. āIām not sitting out there. Itās raining.ā I grumble, crossing my arms.
I can almost feel the pout in Captainās slightly disappointed stare, but then, zee seems to light up. āAHA! BUT, DEAR! I HAVE AN UMBRELLA!ā To which zee promptly pulls an umbrella from seemingly nowhere, and to which I have to pretend very hard that my face isnāt reddening under my mask, arms crossing tighter in an attempt to hide just how tender being called ādearā made me feel.
We stare at each other for several moments, until I sigh and shake my head, reluctantly stepping out and walking over to sit next to Captain. Usually I would ensure that there would be a respectable distance of a few inches between us, but since itās raining and Iād really like to not get wet, I sit right next to zeer, gently bumping shoulders. Thereās no harm in this, is there? No, I convince myself, this would be fine. So why is my heart beating so hard in my chest? Is it the lyrics of the song, the fact that Captain chose it, the fact that weāre both sitting so close to one another now, or a combination of the three? I know that it shouldnāt bother me so much, thereās no way that zee means it in the way I think zee does, itās just another layer of eccentricness. And besides, weāve been closer at times, and there was no absolute confirmation then. . .
The music stops for a moment, dragging me out of my thoughts enough to lay them to rest. Whatever I think, it doesnāt matter, thereās no use being nervous over it when things like this will happen again. So, thereās no use in worrying over daring to get a little closer, daring to relax, to space out a little watching my friends run about in the closeness and warmth of someone I like with music playing gently in the background. And so, I dare to. Exhaling a soft sigh, I rest my head on Captainās shoulder, inching just a little closer. This is allowed, I wonāt be rejected, Iām allowed to do this, please please donāt reject me--
And then Captain gently curls an arm around my waist, and immediately everything feels okay. Not around my shoulders like a friend would do, no. Around my waist, like a. . .
Huh. I really do talk myself down, donāt I? I should really stop letting my anxiety control me. Especially when I feel every shred of worry melt away as Captain pulls me just that little bit closer with a content hum, resting zeer head against mine in turn. Was zee just waiting for me to realise, or have we both been drifting closer without noticing until now? How long have we been this. . . gentle and tender in each otherās company?
Whatever the answer is, we were both happy to stay here like this, watching the rest of our small family play in the rain gently drumming around us all, music of forgotten eras playing with lyrics of putting heads on shoulders and holding someone close, of kisses goodnight and of you and I falling in love, gently playing us away into the slow approaching night. And maybe the songs that play for us will come true, one day.