#cami writes

Winter wasn't this cold back there, he thought to himself as he shrugged once more, seeking the warmth and comfort his scarf ought to harbor. He didn't find much. Snow was falling rather abundantly tonight and he felt as it melted and drenched his hair. He shivered. Roy was looking forward to take his lieutenant out for a short walk, considering none of them would have any other plan for tonight, and he didn’t bother to get in his car and drive the few blocks that separated his building from hers. He regretted that now.

Riza Hawkeye opened the door and found his superior officer standing outside. By the way she looked, she probably stayed working until late and had just gotten home. She was wearing her military uniform along with her boots and was just taking her scarf off.

"Good evening, sir. Can I do something for you?" She sounded vaguely intrigued.

Right.

This little visit wasn't quite expected. He wondered once again if this was a good idea, but he already found himself standing in front of her, no words daring to come out of his mouth. He stared at her chapped lips and tried to remember how many times he'd seen them broken like that by the cold when they were younger. It rarely ever snowed back in her hometown and when it did she could barely stand it, but that was long ago and she didn't seem to mind the weather as much nowadays. After all, she had plenty going on in her mind to worry about. Things have changed a lot since they were young, but them sticking together despite the circumstances was a constant.

“Hello, lieutenant. Do you have any plan for tonight?”

She shook her head slightly and stared at him as if waiting for anything else he had to say. She still had her hand on the door knob and her body language told him she could close the door in his face at any moment, but maybe that was just his imagination. He looked over his shoulder to see snow kept falling and thought to himself that maybe inviting his subordinate to take a walk through the streets of central city wouldn’t be a pleasant way to spend the evening. He looked back at her. “Can I come in?”

This time she nodded and gave him a faint smile as if she was expecting him to ask just that. She moved and gestured him to come inside.

“What are you doing, Riza?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question? You’re supposed to be studying with father.”

He shrugged as he came down the stairwell and walked towards her. Riza was sitting on a couch in the living room and held a notebook that she covered with her hands as soon as Roy approached her and stood in front of the sofa.

“It’s kind of late, I’m dismissed. May I?” He pointed the empty space besides her in the sofa and she gave him a look. Riza was a bit difficult, but she did enjoy his company. She moved slightly and patted the empty space on her side, gesturing him to sit. “What were you writing?”

“It doesn’t matter, does it? What is it with you asking so many questions?” She scolded him and held the little notebook a bit tighter, but her obvious nervousness just triggered his curiosity further and he popped a playful half smile.

“Is it something to be embarrassed of? Are you writing a love letter for some boy you like from school?”

Her cheeks turned red and her eyes shot open as he teased her.

“Stop!” She cried out as the blush extended to her whole face and she looked the other way, avoiding his eyes. Roy laughed softly as he laid back on the couch and looked into the fireplace that stood across the living room.

“Back at home Valentine’s day was such a big deal. I’ve a lot of sisters and they all go crazy during this holiday. It makes me a bit nostalgic” Riza looked back at his father’s apprentice and noticed that his gaze seemed to drift away as he said those words. Being away from the people you care about on days that remind you of them was bitter.

She could sympathize with that feeling.

Roy stepped inside as Riza closed the door behind them. He looked as she walked up to the hallway that lead to her bedroom and before getting in she turned around to face him. “You can sit, sir. I’ll just slip into something more comfortable and come back.”

He nodded and hung his coat and scarf on a coat rack by the door. He took a quick look around her apartment and couldn’t help but notice it was as organized as her. It was a rather small apartment, fitting for one person, and minimalist decoration in light colors so that the reduced space wouldn’t feel overwhelming. The windows looked big enough to gather enough light for the entire area of the living room and the kitchen during daytime, but the reduced luminosity from the snowy night needed the aid of a lamp by the couch that was already turned on.

The fireplace sitting across the living room was still unlit, so he took one of his ignition gloves out of his pocket as he approached the chimney to lit it up with a snap of his fingers. Perhaps Riza would appreciate the warmth when she came back from her room. He couldn’t help but feel a little bad about visiting without preamble, Riza looked like she could’ve gone to bed already if he hadn’t showed up.

I’m here already. No use in thinking about that.

Roy heard the bedroom door open and soon enough a cheerful Black Hayate came out trotting to greet him. He sat on the living room’s couch and consequently the shiba inu jumped on top of it to rest his head and front paws on the colonel’s lap, who scratched behind the dog’s ear as he panted happily.

“You indulge him, sir” Riza appeared in the hallway once again. She stood there leaning against the wall with her arms crossed as she cracked a smile. It was no secret that the colonel had a certain adoration for her dog.

“Lieutenant, I am shocked and offended you would think I spoil your dog.” He returned the joke with a faint laugh as he noticed her walking across the living room to the small kitchen.

“Something to drink?” She asked him as she opened a cupboard placed on the wall. “Perhaps something warm.”

“Ah, yes. It might be a little too late for coffee, b-”

“Hot cocoa. You still like it, don’t you?” She didn’t wait for his answer to reach out for a pan and turning the stove on.

“I do, actually.” He gave her a soft smile. As a kid she would love to make hot cocoa whenever it was cold outside, and the times he had been curious enough to ask her what she was up to, she’d offer him a cup. He started feeling a little nostalgic all of a sudden.

“Roy,” she shook him out of his thoughts and he looked at her, a bit startled. He should have been daydreaming for a couple minutes because Riza was now standing in front of him with two cups filled with, by the looks of it, hot liquid. “want some hot cocoa?”

He nodded and she extended a hand for him to reach out for the cup. He held it in both of his hands and the warmth that ran through them was a pleasant sensation. She sat beside him and rocked her legs back and forth as she took small sips from her cup, staring into the fire just as he was a moment ago.

“Mother also liked Valentine’s,” she said softly, almost as a whisper. “She was a hopeless romantic. She’d write these little letters for my dad and made him smile. I don’t have much more memories of his smile.”

Roy looked at Riza, whose gaze was still laid in the fire. He couldn’t imagine Mr. Hawkeye smiling, to be honest. His wife’s death must have been an awful trauma for him to change that much over the years, and by the way Riza spoke about her she must have also been very fond of her mother. She did not let her emotions get the worst of her, but her glassy eyes as she spoke to him about her mother for the first time revealed the sadness she carried. He had no memories of his parents, he couldn’t empathize with her tragedy, but he did have his beloved foster mother and sisters whose loss would tear him apart.

He shook his head.

He didn’t even dare to explore those thoughts further.

He sipped from his cup a little too much and jumped slightly as he burned the tip of his tongue, Riza looked at him and cracked a little laugh as she watched his silly accident. Roy sighed and leaned back on the couch.

“So were you writing a letter, like she used to?”

She averted his eyes. “Of course not, don’t be stupid. Who would I give something like that?” She sounded nervous but covered it up as soon as she could, then she let out the air she had been holding for a little too long and leaned back on the couch as well. Whenever he mentioned whatever she was writing about she tensed up, and his curiosity wasn’t helping him make this comfortable for any of them.

“I’m sorry, I won’t ask about it again.”

She didn’t say a word and instead nodded as she brought her knees to her chest and hugged her legs. Despite the fireplace and hot cocoa sips, the room temperature was really low and Riza was shivering. Not only was the snowfall heavier than it had been for a couple years, but Riza was never one to enjoy the cold.

“Excuse me, Riza. I’ll be right back”

The colonel snapped out of his thoughts and realized that not only had he showed up uninvited at his subordinate’s place, but had her preparing a hot beverage for him as he just sat there petting her dog.

“Lieutenant, can I help you with something?” He said as he stopped scratching Black Hayate’s ear and stood up, leaving him over the couch. The dog squealed for some more attention but as he realized he wasn’t getting any more, he jumped back on the floor and once again wandered around the apartment.

“I can handle things over here, sir. But could you search for a throw in the hallway closet? It’s still freezing.” And he did just as she said, he walked towards the same hallway that lead to her room and stopped as he saw a small double door that was most likely the said closet’s. He opened it to find neatly organized boxes on the floor and folded blankets, quilts and throws over a shelf. He took a throw from the pile and closed the storage’s doors before walking back to the living room. From there, he could see Riza already pouring the beverage in two mugs and afterwards, as she walked back to him holding both mugs, he spread the throw open. She put the mugs on top of the little coffee table between the couch and the fireplace, sat beside him and reached out to take the throw from Roy’s hands.

“No, let me just…” He didn’t finish the sentence, and instead put the large throw over her shoulders, trying to cover her up as much as he could so she’d be warm enough. Then, he reached out for one of the hot cocoa mugs and handed it to her. She took it with both of her hands and looked at him and gave him a warm smile.

“Thanks” She said in a sweet tone and a lack of formality that was almost unlike her. He just gave back a similar smile and kept looking at her as she sipped the hot liquid. Being this close to his lieutenant, he could notice simple details such as the tenuous bags under her eyes and the few rebellious strands of hair that wouldn’t stay in their place and the way her lips slightly curled upwards when she smiled or sipped or gentle words came out of her mouth. He’d never denied she was an attractive woman, but never quite acknowledged how captivating she was.

“Sir”

“Yes?” He responded almost instantly, a faint heat on his cheeks as he realized the compromising thoughts he was having.

“Your beverage will get cold if you don’t start drinking it soon.”

“Right.” A pinch of embarrassment showed up as a little laugh as he reached for the mug, realizing maybe he stared at her for too long. He felt the smell of chocolate and suddenly got flooded by nostalgia. Its scent reminded him of Riza’s hometown, her father’s house and overall much simpler times. As he was about to lean back on the couch he felt Riza’s hand over his shoulder, trying to put part of the large throw over it and cover him with it as well. He looked at her with a rather confused expression, but pleased nonetheless.

“It’s like when we were kids. I figured you’d be cold as well” She said as if an excuse were needed, in a soft tone that could pass as a whisper. Her gaze met his as warmth ran through him, not necessarily from the throw. He leaned back on the couch and she did as well, slyly snuggling closer to him.

He took a sip from the mug and the sweet taste brought back an awful lot of not quite awful memories. The most prominent was the fuzzy feeling he felt whenever his teacher’s daughter would lean close to him or rest her head on his shoulder.

He didn’t really get what was the matter with that feeling back then, but it seemed absurd and useless to neglect it at this point.

Roy had been in love with her all this time, of course.

It felt as if the understanding of this fact was a pail of cold water falling over his head, and damn it was freezing.

As he was back in front of Riza, a throw over his shoulder, he noticed she was nearly falling asleep because her eyelids seemed to be getting heavier.

“Hey, you’re back” she said with a rather dry voice. She might have been about to fall asleep, but was expecting him to come back and waited for him.

“I figured you were cold, so I brought you this” He took the throw and showed it to her. She sat up and so did he beside her, covering both of them with the throw. She gave him a rather confused look, possibly because of the closeness they shared.

“... I’m cold too, you know.” She laughed and leaned back, bringing her knees close to her chest again.

His ears started heating up. It wasn’t like he wanted to be close to Riza or snuggle her or anything. The reason he only brought one throw was… To be practical, of course. Why would he bring two when one was large enough to cover both of them. In fact, they were large enough for them to keep a little more distance from each other and still be well covered. ...But he didn’t move. In fact, neither of them did.

He felt her golden hair tickle his jaw and part of his cheek and the heat from his ears extended to his full face. Suddenly Riza lied her head on his shoulder and he had to swallow. He felt fuzzy and didn’t dare to move. Instead, he looked over her and realized her eyes had closed. She seemed to be still awake, but it was obvious she was sleepy already.

“Roy”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“It was nothing. Besides I was cold, too.”

“Not that, silly. It’s just… forget about it.” She said grumpily and he didn’t respond. She got comfortable and in a matter of minutes, fell asleep.

As he moved a little to find some accomodation himself, he felt something at the side of his lap, it was the notebook Riza was holding earlier. He thought perhaps she let go of it at some point when he was busy daydreaming. His conscience told him not to reach out for it, he should respect the fact that she didn’t even want to tell him what she was writing, but his curiosity got the worst out of him.

He reached for the notebook.

By the looks of it, it was some sort of diary. He skipped a couple pages, not wanting to intrude on her privacy more than he already was. After all, what he wanted to know was what she was writing just a while ago. He reached a page near the end of the diary that had his name written on the upper left area followed by a comma.

“Roy,

I just wanted to say thank you for…”

Nothing else was readable. He frowned slightly in confusion. There were scratched words and phrases all over the page but nothing made much sense. He looked back at her. Was there something she wanted to tell him?

He sighed. Pondering about it without any base wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he closed the notebook and put it back where he left it.

Perhaps she couldn’t find the words for whatever it was she wanted to tell him, and the best he could do was wait for her to find out, if she ever did.

He looked over Riza once again, and fortunately she didn’t seem to mind the ongoing silence that took place between them a couple of minutes ago. On the other hand, it gave him way too much time to drift away into his thoughts and extend the silence even more. He could be going mad. But Riza looked… Tranquil. She kept sipping and had the edges of her lips still curled up. She had also snuggled a bit closer to him, and Roy realized he had tensed up a little. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, relaxing remarkably. He grazed the blushing skin on her cheeks for a second before running his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation as his fingers tangled in her silky locks.

He wondered if Riza could reciprocate his feelings, and it didn’t take him long to realize it was pretty much obvious at this point. He’d been truly blind to what had been just in front of him for so long.

“Roy”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” She said in a soothing tone and his lips curled up in a smile. There wasn’t anything else to add there. After all, they didn’t need many words to understand each other perfectly.

“Also,” she cleared her throat

“Hm?”

“you let your cocoa cool, silly.” she scolded him.

He rolled his eyes at her chide, a playful smile still on his lips. He bent forward to put his now cold mug on top of the coffee table, and then leaned back to rest a kiss on her forehead and snuggle closer to her, joyful smiles on both their lips.