porchlightfairy

He was bragging about how he learned a new breakfast recipe he was looking forward to making. You made a comment about wanting to come over to try it. So, he extends the invitation.

He doesn't even make the breakfast. As soon as you enter his apartment, you push him against the wall. Your lips push onto his as his hands grip your waist. You take off each other's clothes— having changed out of your scrubs prior to your arrival— through the hall until you're naked in his bed.

Your kisses are hungry and hot. His hands are rough, gripping and rubbing along the skin of your body. He grabs your hips and drag his dick between the folds of your pussy.

"Condom?" You ask.

"Shit, uh… I think I ran out." He pants.

You mentally roll your eyes at the statement. Ran out also means ran through. You'll just have to get a plan B pill before you go home, you make the mental note.

"I'm clean." You state.

"I tested last month, I'm clean."

You slide your hand between your two bodies and grab his dick. You press against your pussy and slowly he thrusts inside of you. He moans gruffly, every inch of the way until he bottoms out.

You press your fingers into his back as you feel him fill you up. Then you drag them up into his curls then down his neck to his shoulders. His breath is hot on your neck as he thrusts into you.

Your thighs squeeze his sides as he hits the right spot over and over. Your toes curl as you moan into his ear. That encourages him to pick up his place. His moans turn into grunts. With one final thrust he cums inside you.

He pulls out and moves to lay next to you. You hurry to the bathroom to clean yourself up. You try to calm yourself down, as you sit on the toilet. It's like you could here a clock ticking in your head the longer the semen sat inside you.

Once you're done, you leave the bathroom and start to collect your clothes. "Do you want to stay for breakfast?" Abbot sits up, surprised by your urgency.

"Uh, no, I gotta go. I forgot I've got to run some errands." You give him a curt smile and put your clothes on. With that you flee his apartment.

You thought that would be the end of it, but then weeks later, you started to feel sick. You had missed your period and you needed to sit down every hour hour or you'd get dizzy.

You took 4 pregnancy tests and your heart sunk. All of them came back positive. Then you realized, Abbot was your last sex partner. Now, you have to tell him.

The day you try to tell him, you see him talking to another floater. She's smiling like you would when he talked to you. You remember, you aren't the only one he's been with or will be with. It eats you alive thinking about what he might say. Maybe it was better if you just disappeared instead.

You get another job and put in your 2 weeks notice in the ER. Abbot felt like he did something wrong. You were acting strange during that time. Your playful banter ceased and it was like you were avoiding him on purpose.

"So, Presby, huh?" He shoves his hands in his pockets as you stock the trauma room.

Mhm." You continue to work.

"Public hospitals not good enough for you anymore?" He jokes.

"Just wanted a change." You lie. Your tone is short and disinterested.

"I'll have to take a couple shifts over there so I can see you." He smiles. His last ditch effort to get you to crack a smile.

"No need." You shut the cabinet. "This place would miss you too much."

"And you won't?" He tucks his bottom lip between his teeth.

You turn on your heels slowly, "Look, I had fun, Dr. Abbot, but that's all it was, right? I don't like to stay on a roster." You breeze past him to finish your last shift.

That was the last he saw of you.

Months later, he still thinks about you. He should have said something refuting the statement but then he would be lying. He was sexually active. He had multiple partners— roster, as Ellis informed him. You were right and he had to change that. Since then, he kept his distance from women staff and his sex pool went to zero.

It's late in the night, when Lena gets a call from medical dispatch. "Abbot, we've got a pregnant patient coming, in active labor. ETA 3 minutes."

"Sounds good, Crus, you with me?" He calls out to the year 4 resident.

"I'm with you." Crus comes out with him.

The ambulance arrives and the driver opens the door. The patient was you, with a big round belly and a sheen of sweat on your face. Abbot stares at you unblinking as you come out the ambulance. He can hardly hear the bullet as he watches you. You were in active labor. Your water had broken as you were getting ready for bed.

"C'mon guys, Presby isn't that far. Put me back in, what's another 15 min— AH!" You squeeze your eyes shut and throw your head back.

"She was demanding Presby the whole way here." The paramedic mutters. "Her contractions became more frequent on route."

"She knows she's in good hands." Abbot winks at you. It was supposed to be reassuring but you were too ashamed to care. You whimper as you feel the pain subside after the contraction.

You are put in the trauma room and the curtain is drawn partially so you have some privacy. Crus looks at your chart on the computer as Abbot examines you. He's smiling like you didn't break his heart months ago. As if you didn't change him. He was so happy to see you, he didn't care.

"No pre-existing conditions. 38 weeks… We are right on time." Crus states.

"9 months…" Abbot looks at your belly than back at you. You lip quivers. You can't bring yourself to look at him. He takes your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Is there anyone we should call?" He asks. The father, he thinks.

"There's no one." You shake your head.

The nurses continue to work on you, putting you and your baby on a heart monitor. His hand doesn't move as they continue. It was like it was just the two of you alone. "Crus, give us a minute and call OB."

Crus nods and leaves to call OB from the other trauma room.

"Is it mine?" He asks. His voice is no higher than a whisper.

"I didn't know how to tell you." You croak.

"I would have been there for you." He caresses your face, his hand feels so cool against your hot skin.

"You don't want to be tied down with a baby." You shake your head.

"Yes, I do. Of course I do. I want to be tied down with you and a baby." He says, "You seemed like you had a life plan and I didn't want to get in the way. Leaving to Presby, ignoring me. I thought all you wanted was the sex."

"That's what I thought you wanted."

"No," he chuckles, "I'll admit, I have a bit of a silver tongue but when you left the way you did, I changed." He brings your hand up and kisses the back of it, "You left this old man heartbroken."

"So, you want this?" You ask.

"Absolutely I do. I want you." He kisses you, "I want this baby." He kisses you again, "I want us together." and again. You smile up at him. The first time that night you did so.

"Hello, Mom," The OB resident on call comes down with some L&D nurses, "How are we doing tonight?"

"Nervous." You say.

"Oh, there's nothing to be nervous about." She smiles reassuringly, "Are we by ourselves?"

"Ye— um, no actually, the father is here with me." You look at Abbot and he smiles back at you.

"Dr. Abbot, congratulations." She says, "Alright let me take a peek."

She examines between your legs and measures your cervix. "Perfect, we are at 8 centimeters."

"That's good right?"

"Very good. I'm just going to call ahead, to see if your room is prepped and send you up." She grabs the phone on the wall.

You squeeze Abbot's hand, "Can you come with me?"

"Yeah, absolutely. I'm with you the rest of the way." He wipes your forehead of sweat.

"Okie dokie, folks, we got the go ahead. Let's go ahead and move before that next contraction." The nurses prep you to move the bed.

"I'll be up there in a sec, I just have to tell staff where I'm going." He kisses your forehead.

He watches you get into the elevator and he heads over to the hub. Lena looks up from her phone with an eyebrow raised. "I'm going to go up with her to make sure things are okay." He says.

"Mhm," Lena gives him a sideways glance.

"It's mine." He states, "So let's nip the rumors in the bud."

"You got it." She nods.

Abbot then heads up to the Labor ward where you would be. He asks the nurse's station which room and they point him in the right direction. Inside, you sit upright on the bed and swallow some breaths as your contractions get even closer together.

"Hi," He knocks on the door.

"Hey." You breathe out.

He sits beside the bed and smiles at you. You notice him staring, "What?"

"Nothing. Do you know the gender?"

"A girl." You say.

"Do you have a name picked?"

"Mhm, Navaeh." You smile.

"Heaven." He says, "Beautiful name."

"Mhm, It was my favorite."

Soon, the OB resident returns with some nurses. "It's almost time. We just wanted to check in one last time before we get started."

"I'm okay. Epidural is working." You smile.

"That's good. Dad, are we ready?"

"Uh, yeah, ready as ever." He stands up and holds your hand.

She gets between your legs and measures again. "Baby is ready too. We are at 10 cm. Full dilation. Your next contraction you should go ahead and push."

You brace yourself and squeeze Abbot's hand. The contraction comes and you push with it. It didn't take long as you pushed and pushed. Your baby girl was out in only a few hours. Her cries fill the room quickly.

"There she is, what a pretty girl and a good pair of lungs." The cord is cut and the doctor hands the baby to one of the nurses and they clean up the baby a little before handing her to you.

She rests on your bare chest, her crying stops as she lays on the warmth of your skin, "She's so small."

"She's perfect." Abbot's eyes water. They take Navaeh back and do their routine of cleaning her, weighing her, then—

"What's the name we put on for baby girl?"

"Navaeh. Navaeh Abbot." You say.

Abbot kisses your forehead and walks over to see his baby girl on the scale. The nurse puts a bracelet around her ankle. He sticks his finger in her bin and she clamps her tiny fingers around it.

"You can hold her, if you'd like." The nurse swaddles her quickly and holds the baby to him.

He takes her in his arms and walks with her over to you. Her eyes are deep brown, she has a cute flat button nose, and a head full of curly chocolate locks. "She's so…"

"Perfect." You smile at him.

The first hour after Navaeh is born feels like a whirlwind. The nurse teaches you to breastfeed making sure she latches. Abbot stays through the night by your side with Navaeh.

You wake up at sunrise and see him staring at Navaeh in her crib. "Abbot—"

"Jack. Call me Jack from now on." He looks at you.

"Jack, we should probably talk about what's next."

"We can," he adjusts in his seat, "I can reduce my hours so I can stay home with her some nights. I can come over, or she can come to mine— after she gets her immunizations. Whatever you want to do."

"Would you consider us staying with you?" You ask.

"You move in with me?" He nods, "Yeah, we can do that. You can stay indefinitely. I have a spare room— it's a gym right now— I can move the stuff out and build a crib and make it a nursery. I can put a bed in there too, for you."

He takes your hand and rests it against his face, "I didn't want you to go. I wanted you to stay that morning and I wanted to see you again. I… I couldn't get you out of my head all these months later. We are in this together."

You simply nod and smile, "I believe you."

"Promise you won't leave so abruptly without explanation?"

"Yes," You laugh, "I'm right where I need to be."

˖⋆࿐໋₊ ☆

It was trash day for the apartments so Whitaker went around the house collecting the trash from all the rooms. Santos was out running errands so he took the opportunity to collect her can from her bathroom. When he enters, he notices her trash overflowing with tissues.

She hasn't been sick or sniffling, he thinks. He doesn't mean to pry so he abandons the passing though and picks up the can. As he heads to her bedroom door to the hall he trips on some clothes she had laying around.

He drops the trash can, spilling its contents onto the floor. He curses to himself and starts to pick up the tissues. As he grabs each piece, he notices more and more on them. His brows furrow as he feels a pit grow in his stomach as he inspects each tissue until he finds one crumpled and drenched in dried blood.

He hears the sound of the front door opening. Quickly, he puts them all away and puts her trash can back. He comes out of the room as Santos enters the house. She frowns when she notices him coming from her room.

"What were you doing in my room?" She asks.

"I, uh, was taking out the trash." He says, "I was just putting yours back."

"Cool." She doesn't seem bothered. He looks at her arms but sees no bandages or scars. He chews on his bottom lip nervously. Santos notices him still standing in the hall and squints, "Can I help you?"

He rubs his hands on his pants, "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Like what?" She raises an eyebrow.

"You know, if you ever got hurt or something." He purses his lips.

"Uh, sure." She shrugs, "Why?"

"Oh, um… I just… I dropped your can and there was a bunch of tissue in there all covered with blood… Like a lot of blood."

Santos quickly, becomes stiff. She avoids Whitaker's concerned gaze as he waits for a response. She tightens her jaw. "I think you should just mind your own business."

"Trinity, I'm just worried that you hurt yourself."

Those words set her off. "I didn't, okay? You don't have to worry because I didn't. Is that what you think of me as? Some loser who cuts."

Whitaker's eyes widen. "I never said that. I just thought you accidentally hurt yourself." He pause, "Trin… do you… self-harm?"

"Stop talking!" She shoulders pass him and slams her bedroom door.

Whitaker sighs before slowly approaching the door. He knocks gently, "I'm still in the house, if you want to talk. I'm sorry."

On the other side of the door, Santos sniffles. She goes to her bathroom to find the can still full. All the bloody tissue she buried now at the surface. Tears prick her cheeks as her thighs burn hot from the pain. She chews her inner cheeks as she stares at the trash.

In the sink cabinet, nearest the trash, she opens one of the drawers. Inside, among her shaving razors were straight blades and the scalpel she had stolen from her job. She lets out a shaky breath before pulling them out.

She knew that once she was caught she couldn't keep a strong enough front with Whitaker.

Later in the night, Santos comes out of her room. Whitaker sits at the table eating as she approaches. He gives her a small smile, "Hey."

"Hi." She takes a breath as she tries to find the words. She moves her hands from behind her back and set all her cutting devices on the table. Whitaker gulps as he watches them all fall and clink together. He pushes aside his plate and sits a little straighter.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She sticks her tongue into the side of her cheek.

"Thank you for showing me these." He stands up. Santos flinches, taking a step from the table. Slowly, he collects the sharps, "I knew a girl in high school who cut herself. I only found out because she got paint on her sleeves in art class and she rolled up her sleeves. There were some old and some new. At the time I didn't know what to say to her." He goes into the kitchen and grabs their sharp disposal container from under the sink.

"What would you tell her now?" Santos sits down at the table and watches as he puts each blade in the container one by one.

"It's hard to stop doing what you know feels good. After being strong for so long, there's relief in giving up." He closes the box, "I know it can be hard to ask for help but just know there is someone you can count on." He comes back to the table and sits beside her.

Santos' lip quivers, "It's really hard."

"I know," He smiles, "But I learned recently is, you can find help from the most unlikely of places."

Santos smiles, "I can count on you?"

"Even when you hate it." He holds out his hand on the table. She scoffs and reluctantly puts her hand in his. "That's what friends do. Trinity, I am your friend."

"Thanks Huckleberry."

He gives her hand a squeeze and pulls her into a hug. "Now, if you'll excuse me I still have to take out the trash and do some sharp disposal."

"Don't forget my trash!" She smiles as she watches him go.