like a fire in the night
Pairing: Sousuke + Haru Rating: G Art: by @rainbowthinker here (x) Prequel: unshy and full of grace, as you come from the sea Summary:
Sousuke stays out as late as he can. Immediately after the kiss he had left the house and eaten breakfast elsewhere, mulling over what had happened. A kiss. Fatally simple, as everything had been with Haru.
So this would be his undoing.
When he comes home, it’s close to midnight. Sousuke hopes that Haru is asleep by now. He lives on hope these days, it seems, his days fraught with fear. Of Haru finding out, of Haru leaving, of Haru never coming back. But Haru is back-- has been back, for god’s sake. But Sousuke doesn’t know if he’ll still be home.
He opens the door.
Haru sits in the gloom. Yellow light spills in from the corridor outside the apartment before the door swings shut, and Sousuke can see Haru backlit by the city lights. He’s beautiful. Sousuke knows this, and not in any objective manner, either. When they were younger he had fallen slowly in love with Haru, and those eyes that were clear as the water became familiar to him, and the more familiar they became the more Sousuke loved them. Loves them.
‘You were out late,’ Haru says.
‘Yes,’ Sousuke replies. They’re both in the dark, and Haru’s arms are curled lightly around his knees as he rests his chin on them, gazing at Sousuke.
‘Are you going to kiss me again?’
Sousuke’s heart seizes. He wants to. He misses Haru’s lips, and the soft gasps beneath him in bed, and Haru’s petulant insistence that breakfast be accompanied by a whole grilled mackerel.
‘Do you want me to?’
Haru seems to genuinely consider this, standing up absently and touching his lips with his fingers. A long moment passes, and a distant look comes into Haru’s eyes. ‘I do.’
Sousuke crosses the living room in an instant, bringing the both of them nearly chest-to-chest. He looks down into Haru’s eyes, and grasps him by the shoulders. This is meant to be neutral.
‘I don’t think...’ But Sousuke’s left hand moves of its own accord, coming up behind Haru’s neck to curl in the short strands, caressing gently. Haru tilts his head up to Sosuke, lips parted in invitation, and Sousuke takes him up on it.
To Sousuke, it feels as though his Haru is back with him. Haru kisses clumsily, but as Sousuke tries to draw away to say something, Haru throws his arms around Sousuke and pulls him closer. He draws in ragged breaths when they part, and Sousuke sees tears shining in the corner of Haru’s eyes, glinting like diamonds in the night.
+
When Haru finally lets up on the kissing, they’re on the sofa, shirts off, with Haru’s head resting on Sousuke’s chest.
‘This is familiar,’ Haru says.
Sousuke hums, contented. He has one hand buried in Haru’s hair, and the other wound possessively around Haru’s waist. ‘Is that right?’
‘Were we involved?’ Haru’s voice is tremulous, ticking up at the end of the sentence. ‘Before the accident.’
‘Yes,’ Sousuke says. ‘But it was only for a little while.’ He can hear Rin screeching ‘don’t lie to him’ somewhere inside his mind, but he closes that door for now. He doesn’t understand why he’s still keeping the facade up. They’ve been kissing, and if Haru had his way they’d probably both be in bed by now, doing things that kissing often led to.
Haru makes a frustrated noise, and rubs his face against Sosuke’s chest. ‘You feel so familiar to me.’ He brings Sousuke’s hand to his face, gently pushing his cheek into his palm. ‘Tell me. You were married. Did they leave because of me? Did we love each other? Who am I to you?’
Sousuke looks at the complete absence of the last few years in Haru’s eyes, and makes up his mind.
‘We didn’t love each other,’ Sousuke says slowly. ‘But we were companions, and that was enough for you.’
Haru closes his eyes against Sousuke’s hand. ‘It feels like I love you.’
Sousuke’s heart flutters in his chest and he pulls Haru up for a kiss, brushing his lips gently over Haru’s, shifting to his ear and kissing the hollow behind it tenderly.
There is a stone in the pit of his stomach.
