#freeficlets

When he comes home, it’s close to midnight. Sousuke hopes that Haru is asleep by now. He lives on hope these days, it seems, his days fraught with fear. Of Haru finding out, of Haru leaving, of Haru never coming back. But Haru is back-- has been back, for god’s sake. But Sousuke doesn’t know if he’ll still be home. 

He opens the door.

Haru sits in the gloom. Yellow light spills in from the corridor outside the apartment before the door swings shut, and Sousuke can see Haru backlit by the city lights. He’s beautiful. Sousuke knows this, and not in any objective manner, either. When they were younger he had fallen slowly in love with Haru, and those eyes that were clear as the water became familiar to him, and the more familiar they became the more Sousuke loved them. Loves them. 

‘You were out late,’ Haru says. 

‘Yes,’ Sousuke replies. They’re both in the dark, and Haru’s arms are curled lightly around his knees as he rests his chin on them, gazing at Sousuke.

‘Are you going to kiss me again?’ 

Sousuke’s heart seizes. He wants to. He misses Haru’s lips, and the soft gasps beneath him in bed, and Haru’s petulant insistence that breakfast be accompanied by a whole grilled mackerel. 

‘Do you want me to?’

Haru seems to genuinely consider this, standing up absently and touching his lips with his fingers. A long moment passes, and a distant look comes into Haru’s eyes. ‘I do.’

Sousuke crosses the living room in an instant, bringing the both of them nearly chest-to-chest. He looks down into Haru’s eyes, and grasps him by the shoulders. This is meant to be neutral. 

‘I don’t think...’ But Sousuke’s left hand moves of its own accord, coming up behind Haru’s neck to curl in the short strands, caressing gently. Haru tilts his head up to Sosuke, lips parted in invitation, and Sousuke takes him up on it.

To Sousuke, it feels as though his Haru is back with him. Haru kisses clumsily, but as Sousuke tries to draw away to say something, Haru throws his arms around Sousuke and pulls him closer. He draws in ragged breaths when they part, and Sousuke sees tears shining in the corner of Haru’s eyes, glinting like diamonds in the night.

+

When Haru finally lets up on the kissing, they’re on the sofa, shirts off, with Haru’s head resting on Sousuke’s chest.

‘This is familiar,’ Haru says. 

Sousuke hums, contented. He has one hand buried in Haru’s hair, and the other wound possessively around Haru’s waist. ‘Is that right?’

‘Were we involved?’ Haru’s voice is tremulous, ticking up at the end of the sentence. ‘Before the accident.’

‘Yes,’ Sousuke says. ‘But it was only for a little while.’ He can hear Rin screeching ‘don’t lie to him’ somewhere inside his mind, but he closes that door for now. He doesn’t understand why he’s still keeping the facade up. They’ve been kissing, and if Haru had his way they’d probably both be in bed by now, doing things that kissing often led to.

Haru makes a frustrated noise, and rubs his face against Sosuke’s chest. ‘You feel so familiar to me.’ He brings Sousuke’s hand to his face, gently pushing his cheek into his palm. ‘Tell me. You were married. Did they leave because of me? Did we love each other? Who am I to you?’

Sousuke looks at the complete absence of the last few years in Haru’s eyes, and makes up his mind.

‘We didn’t love each other,’ Sousuke says slowly. ‘But we were companions, and that was enough for you.’

Haru closes his eyes against Sousuke’s hand. ‘It feels like I love you.’ 

Sousuke’s heart flutters in his chest and he pulls Haru up for a kiss, brushing his lips gently over Haru’s, shifting to his ear and kissing the hollow behind it tenderly. 

‘I know this is all very untoward, but I would like to request the privilege of speaking to Tachibana... Alone.’

The birds chirp outside, loud in the silence of the room, and all of them stare at him in bewilderment. Rin’s eyes are shining, Haru can see that clear as day, and he looks at Makoto.

Makoto’s expression is one of tentative hope, and Haru can only bow to Rin and leave the room as Amakata tries to discreetly shoo everyone out. 

+

‘First, I must tell you that I have been the most unmitigated and uncomprehensive ass,’ Rin says, and the floorboards creak as he gets down on one knee. Makoto feels as though he isn’t really here, floating above the two of them, alone in the room. This can’t be real. Rin is back in Iwatobi and on one knee. Makoto can see the little velvet box in his hand and feels almost faint. He’s been waiting for Rin to come back.

‘I am at the end of my rope,’ Rin continues, voice shaking. ‘I love you so, and I am beginning to suspect that I always have, and always will. Would you do me the honor of sharing the rest of my life with me? That we may be together always, and never allow something so silly to drive me from your side ever again?’

+

When they come back into the room, Makoto is smiling and Rin is dabbing at his own eyes with a small lace handkerchief Haru recognises immediately as Makoto’s favourite. Sousuke is close behind, peering over the heads of the curious family to see how the proposal was received. He doesn’t look at Haru, save for a quick glance. It is not the time now-- and Sousuke is unsure if it ever will be again.

‘We’ve checked in,’ Rin says, cheeks still burning up, and gestures for Makoto to follow him. ‘Um, she says they only have a queen-sized bed.’

Makoto laughs. ‘I’ll be fine.’ No, his brain says. You’ll be hard. He pretends not to have thought that as Rin leads the way up the stairs, rehearsing his confession in his head.

It’s not a coincidence that Makoto chose to visit Australia during Rin’s break. They’re no Sousuke and Haru, who fell into bed first before feelings followed. Look at them now, all moved in together for their final year of school. It’s more sweet than infuriating, but Makoto’s been stewing in unrequited love for Rin since years ago, so he’s entitled to a few mixed feelings about his best friend hooking up with Rin’s best friend like a tsunami when Makoto’s own love life has all the speed and power of a glacial melt.

‘Here,’ Rin says, opening the door. The room is plain and homely, but Makoto finds himself liking it enormously, and moves forward to sit on the bed.

He pats the space beside him, gesturing for Rin to sit too. ‘It’s soft, but not too soft. This is a good recommendation, Rin.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Rin says, but hangs back. ‘Well... Are we going to bed now?’

‘I want to say something first,’ Makoto tells him patiently, and Rin sits down, looking apprehensive. ‘Thank you for showing me around. Russell and Lori were really nice.’

Rin grins. ‘Yeah. Though you didn’t understand a word.’ 

‘English is one of my weakest subjects,’ Makoto points out. ‘Let me just...’

He means to just brush a speck of dust out of Rin’s hair. Honest. But his hand moves of its own accord to cup Rin’s cheek, and Rin is looking at him in happy surprise, and as they draw closer to each other Makoto silently thanks the receptionist for giving them a room with a double bed instead of two singles.

+

When they emerge from their room the next morning, it’s not awkward at all (it is). They haven’t spoken about last night--not completely, at least-- and Rin is unsure of whether or not to bring it up. But when they’re standing in the lobby, Makoto grabs Rin’s wrist and smiles at him. Just like that, Rin smiles back. It’s going to be alright.

The receptionist’s eyebrows disappear into her fringe. ‘So it’s like that, is it?’

‘Yes,’ Rin snaps, but blushes when Makoto kisses his cheek. It’s a brief, chaste pack, but Rin hides his face and can’t quite manage to look the receptionist in the eye all through the check-out process.

FIN.

Rin’s scheduled to land at 10pm with the rest of the athletes, and Makoto is ready for Rin to be back in his arms. In a friendly way, of course. Nothing romantic implied, except...

‘They’ve landed!’ One of the girls squeals, waving her phone about. ‘Matsuoka tweeted that they’ve landed!’ Rin has attracted tons of attention ever since he won the gold medal in the Olympics, and Makoto looks down at his own sign. It’s plain in comparison, though helped along by the glitter than Ran and Ren had applied. It’s nothing so flashy like the gold foil signs some people in the crowd are sporting, but Makoto hopes that Rin will like it all the same.

Gou and Sousuke are supposed to be here. But one of the judges at the Muscle Mania International Natural Bodybuilding Annual Competition held in Thailand had called in sick, and Gou had been flown in as his replacement. Sousuke had gotten lost somewhere in the train station and Haru had to look for him, so they were out of the picture.

So Makoto is here alone with his massive crush on Rin.

+

‘Thanks for picking me up,’ Rin says. He’s clutching a huge bouquet of flowers and yawning, jacket thick against Makoto’s arm. 

Makoto smiles shyly at his feet. ‘It was no trouble at all. They’d endured an awkward hug as cameras flashed and Makoto identified himself as Rin’s childhood friend and fellow swimmer before they left in a hurry. Now Rin is dozing off against Makoto’s shoulder in the last train home, and Makoto wants this moment to last forever.

Haru’s heart flutters in his chest when Sousuke kisses him, and there is nothing so tempting as the taut line of his back pressed into Sousuke’s chest. Haru’s hands are cold. Unsurprising, given how much time he spends in water, but under the covers they are toasty and warm and Haru melts in his arms, blinking away the sweat and tears. Sousuke gives as much of himself to Haru as he possibly can--he doesn’t do things by halves, not now, not ever--and Haru reciprocates wholeheartedly, fingers digging into Sousuke’s flesh as though he is loathe to let go. 

They haven’t spoken about what this is.

Sousuke fancies them lovers. Haru’s sleeping face is still, like marble under moonlight, but when Sousuke is close it is as though he breathes life into the cool length of Haru’s neck.

Haru smiles. He can smile. He snorts, coughs, pisses, cries. The way Sousuke does. The way humans do. 

‘I’m going to be free,’ Haru says one day. Sousuke’s heart freezes in his chest, and he pretends to take it lightly.

‘Oh,’ he says. ‘How?’

Haru is eating, mouth curving around the rim of a spoon. Sousuke’s special fried rice with pineapple, as Haru had requested. He looks at Sousuke.

‘I’ve been offered a position in Okinawa as temporary guest of honour at a new resort,’ Haru says. ‘It’ll be for a few months.’

Sousuke nods amicably. ‘That is how long these sort of jobs tend to take.’

There is silence afterwards, and Haru slips away from Sousuke’s world like morning fog. Kisumi is smug, and Rin is far away in Australia, and for a long time Sousuke is more alone than he had thought he would be.

+

But Haru returns. Tanned a deep brown all over save for his swimsuit, and he turns up on Sousuke’s doorstep one wintery day.

‘Remember me?’ 

Sousuke hesitates. ‘Yes.’

‘You didn’t text or call.’

‘That’s a two-way street, I think.’

Haru steps inside with two huge luggage bags and Sousuke is more than willing to bet that at least three quarters of their contents are just legskins.

‘I’m home,’ Haru says. 

Sousuke steps forward. ‘Welcome home.’

Haru smells of the sea. Briny, but bundled under layers of scarves and jackets. They kiss briefly in the doorway then, and Sousuke closes the door behind them.

Sousuke grunts. 'I’m at work. Supporting us and your mackerel addict lifestyle. How are the ups and downs of a housewife life? Are you watching Olympic reruns?' He blows a whistle, sharp and short through the line, and Haru can hear the faint sound of splashing water.

'No, it's a variety programme. They’re interviewing him and asking how he feels about the gold medal.’

‘Oh? How does he feel about it?’

Haru watches the screen carefully. ‘He’s very embarrassed. But playing it cool.’ He texts the group chat, a quick are you watching this? 

Yes, Makoto texts back. So is Rin. He just turned off the TV. Too embarrassed. Isn’t he cute?

Ew, Haru sends. Then: Get a room.

‘I’m going to hang up,’ Sousuke says dryly. ‘I’ll be home in an hour, anyway. You know Thursdays are my slow days.’

Haru snorts. ‘What are we, married?'

‘Honey,’ Sousuke croons over the line. ‘H- Wait, did you hang up?’

+

It’s always been a competition between them. Who can last longer in bed (Haru holds the record for the moment), who can eat more mackerel (Haru), and who can go for longer without water (Sousuke). Some of these are rigged, Sousuke thinks, and some of them are just completely fucking unfair.

He’s not going to last, not with the way Haru swallows him down. Haru has two fingers buried deep inside Sousuke too, just barely brushing his prostate, and that doesn’t help matters either.

Haru’s eyes are closed, and his lips stretch around Sousuke’s cock, pink and shiny with spit. When he pulls off he opens his eyes and licks his lips, looking up at Sousuke. Knowing, waiting. The hand that isn’t busy fucking Sousuke circles the base of Sousuke’s dick, massaging and tightening.

‘Let me win this round,’ Haru says, sultry in the stifling evening heat, tongue darting out to wet his lips, his hands never stilling. It works. Sousuke comes on Haru’s face, painting his cheeks with come.

Haru ruins the mood by getting up and walking over to the scoreboard they hang behind the door. ‘Fifteen points for me, twelve points for you.’

‘Fuck you,’ Sousuke says raspily, and lies down on the bed. Haru comes back, sneaking a kiss from Sousuke and smirking.

‘Going somewhere?’ Sousuke asks, leaning against the doorway of the bedroom. Haru simply looks at him, gaze as unfathomable as always.

It’s a quiet morning. The rest of the team are in their rooms, but in the seedy Lot 55 the city never sleeps. In the hours before dawn the illegal gambling dens are the busiest, and though the patrols never stop it’s hard to crack down on what fuels the ambitions of the poorer citizens. They’re surrounded by massage parlours that are open til the crack of dawn, with beautiful augmented girls waving from just inside the doorways, mist cloaking their bodies. Down the street there’s an eatery famous for either giving you the best food of your life or the worst diarrhea, depending on the day. There’s something for everyone where the Movement has based their headquarters.

Haru is prepared for a mission. Night visor propped up on his forehead, unshielded camo suit glittering in the dim light of the living room. The omnitool is held loosely in Haru’s hand, and Sousuke wants to march over and shake him. But he understands how Haru is about missions. Sousuke is exactly the same. 

Who else delivers the euthanasia besides Sousuke? He’s held the hands of many as they pass, sitting in the dingy apartments they’ve led half-lives in, neither dead nor alive, wasting away in the dark.

‘I’m going to blow up the Wall of Peace,’ Haru says. ‘It’s time.’

Sousuke steps closer. ‘Don’t you dare. The others don’t even know, do they?’

Haru shakes his head. ‘It doesn’t concern them. This is, at most, a two-person job. We have the means. I’ve received intel from Gou that tonight the Wall will be unmanned at two points in the wall for fifteen minutes each, due to the guards having been incapacitated in a fight earlier today.’

Sousuke was the one who had started the fight. They were at Makoto’s favourite noodle stall in the Second Circle, a little pricier than they could afford, but Rei had hacked into Bank of the People and they needed a celebration, anyway. Small mercies and all that. The guards in question had been leering at Rin’s ass the whole way, and though Sousuke is perfectly aware that Rin could defend himself and that Makoto would be there to help, he’d thrown the first punch, which eventually led to an all-out brawl before they were scattered by the police.

He’s been on edge since the argument with Haru two days ago. Now Haru sleeps on the bed alone and Sousuke takes the sofa in the living room in Rei’s crowded apartment, and Makoto walks around the both of them as if he’s on eggshells. But he’s made up his mind since then.

‘Not now,’ Sousuke says. Haru looks at him mutely.

‘Not without me,’ Sousuke amends, and all of a sudden Haru is kissing him desperately, hands on either side of his face, pulling Sousuke closer. Camo suits are hot and Haru is burning up under the rumpled fabric, breathless in Sousuke’s arms that calls to mind nights spent with Haru on the small bed, sharing the same air and shifting their hips so that they’re as close as two people could possibly be, skin to skin. 

Haru pulls away but Sousuke follows, seeking his mouth out. ‘It’s for the future,’ Haru whispers breathlessly, even while Sousuke presses the smallest of kisses to the corners of his lips. ‘For us to be free.’ 

Sousuke remembers receving Haru’s thoughts through the Synaptic Transfer System. It was during one particularly harrowing downtime between missions, after Haru had been hit by a dose of Freeze and Easy, sending his body into a state of catatonic shock. There were flashes of a wide blue sky and lands for them to travel through, and one particular image comes to mind. 

The sea, Haru had told him in the dream. The sea, endless and wide and waiting, somewhere beyond the Wall of Peace.

--

Haru snorts. ‘You can’t fulfill that promise. This is a very interesting book.’ But he lies down all the same, placing the book on top of Sousuke’s bare stomach and lying down on his belly to read it. ‘I would like to sew an anglerfish.’

Sousuke doesn’t allow himself to be momentarily distracted by Haru’s strange talent for finicky things, like sewing and painting and de-boning salmon fillet. ‘What if I make something? Eggs?’

‘Mackerel,’ Haru says instantly, not looking up from the book. ‘Either way, we can’t go out. It’s Christmas. The streets will be packed with couples.’

Sousuke looks at the ceiling. It’s Christmas. He knows this. It’ll be their first Christmas as a couple.

They’re still not dating, technically. The sex has been on and off since January this year, and whenever Sousuke attempts to define it Haru is either asleep, reading, or raring to go for another bout of sex. They have meals together, but Haru never spends the night, and if Sousuke is to be completely honest he’s wondering if Haru’s dating anyone on the side, which would explain his reluctance to have the Talk with Sousuke.

But Haru is here on Christmas, chin resting on Sousuke’s side, eyes half-closing in pleasure as Sousuke rubs the back of his neck idly. If Haru were a cat he’d be purring. Sousuke can almost hear it.

‘How about just some soba?’

Haru blinks lazily. ‘But we’re having it on New Year’s Eve.’ 

‘Are we?’ Sousuke asks, trying to keep his voice steady. Is Haru already planning to spend that day with him?

Haru nods under Sousuke’s palm, and closes the book before sidling up so that his head is on the pillow again, right next to Sousuke. ‘I think Makoto and Rin will be inviting us over. I’ve been promised pineapple.’ 

‘Is there an us?’ Sousuke says casually. ‘I mean, Rin hasn’t texted me yet or anything.’

Haru shrugs. ‘Yesterday during training he asked me to tell you that we were invited. We’re not supposed to bring anything but I have no doubt what would make the perfect gift.’ The unspoken mackerel hangs in the air and Sousuke wants to laugh aloud.

‘Is that so?’

Haru frowns. ‘Yes.’

‘The gift from both of us is mackerel?’

‘While that’s a good idea, it’s not what I had in mind.’ Haru sits up and starts rifling through his bag on the other side of the bed, and pulls out what resembles a tiny red ball of wool with a skirt on. ‘This is for Rin. Nagisa suggested that I share my talents with the others in the group, and since he liked the Iwatobi-chan I made for him so much, I made a Samezuka mascot for Rin as well.’

 Sousuke wonders how he would have reacted if someone had told him a year ago that he would fall in love with this strange water-loving, fish-obsessed person. He would have laughed, because he’d never seen Nanase that way, but Nanase is now Haru and Haru’s neck is littered with lovebites that Sousuke has given him.

Haru is watching him for any reaction.