#but layers

Thinking about Gorya pushing Shasha away and teasing her, and trying to rile her up and make her jealous because she wants to force Shasha to be honest and admit her feelings...But also because she herself is running away from her feelings, because it's much easier to be near Shasha and pretend she doesn't feel anything for her when she's annoying, because she doesn't know how to deal with her feelings for Shasha when she's honest and vulnerable... And the fact that she wants to prove to herself that she has options,because she is scared to admit she likes someone since no one she liked liked her back, and putting herself out there for someone who is known to be a player is too dangerous...And also choosing Kris because as Kris said she's basically the same as Shasha and it feels both familiar but not as emotionally intense, but precisely because she's not Shasha it's not what she wants and now she has to face that Shasha truly is the one she likes and and and-

-has sudden thoughts again about Lan Xichen and the amount of tangled up, somewhat naive, somewhat politically viewed, and somewhat desperate ploy that lead to him asking Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue to be sworn brothers. Thinking how it could ensure NMJ would not attempt to murder JGY, while also giving them the opportunity to repair their relationship, ignoring how that perspective is flawed bc NMJ and JGY are very, very much not like that as people which leads to the aggravation of NMJ making demands on JGY that JGY cannot answer without the risk of getting kicked of the Lanling Jin Sect out by his shitty father after how much Sunshot morphed and fed his desire for power, authority, and control. Also the problem that NMJ was probably LXC’s closest friend for years, and Jin Guangyao saved LXC while the latter was on the run, and then used his new power to assist in the rebuilding of the Cloud Recesses, and after NMJ’s death was probably the one person he was closest to who specifically we know (despite lying and manipulating and later kidnapping) treated him kindly. That overall the entire 3zun relationship is an interesting, twisted look at how love and honor and trust is broken down that ends with Xichen possibly wishing he was dragged into the coffin with his sworn brothers by the end for how much he’s left in the wreckage.-

Its freezing in our room. I believe it could seriously snow in here....