Joel Miller x OC (sheâs desi & curvy & heavily tatted)
1.7k Words
Post Breakout, In Jackson, post the events of S1 of the HBO series.
Slowwwww Burn; Longing; Yearning; Joel is just WHIPPED for age appropriate OC (I needed it, okay?)
Pure romance, INTENSE fluff (for now) Rated PG (for now).
Massive tease moment in this one. PG Tease.
Also features Tommy Miller (whom I am also crushing on???)
Series Summary: Joel has seen the worst of the world. That last few years in Jackson have been peaceful but Joel has been almost as cautious as he was on the other side of the wall. Until he meets a woman who reminds him there could be... more... For the first time in years, Joel finds out that the part of him that he thought had dried up & died, the loving, tender part; It was just dormant, waiting for Raina. The shift she brings in his life's seasons terrifies him and yet, it also inspires Joel Miller to build a family.
Direct continuation of Part Six
Part Seven : Joel told Raina the worst thing he has done - not to protect someone he loves but to lie to them about it. Raina must think about how Joel's decision affects her, does she see him differently now that she knows he knowingly blocked a cure?
Raina sat in the strange sort of limbo that their living room had suddenly become for her - that wherever she goes from here would the course she & her life take. If she wanted in, she would go into the bedroom, to Joel. If she wanted out, she could just leave from the front door. And for a long time - a really excruciating time for Joel - Raina just sat in the living room.
What did it say about her that this⌠this huge thing⌠hadnât really changed how she saw Joel. She knew the choice she wanted to make but was it the right one?Â
Finally, after upwards of an hour, she stood up & decided to just⌠let life move her body.Â
Joel clutched the centre of his chest when he saw Raina at the doorway of his bedroom. He inhaled as though heâd been freed from some invisible noose. His other hand went to his forehead & he held it like his head ached horribly.
Raina felt like she knew this man forever. To see him in so much pain hurt her deeply. His eyes were covered by his massive hand. When Joel tried to speak his voice refusedâŚ
Raina came to the bed & sat by him. His hand still clutched his head, eyes covered. when he cleared his throat to say -Â
âYou stayinâ?âÂ
âIâm staying.â
Raina ran her hand over his head, almost as if she was trying to softly remove his pain. She really loved his full head of hair, graying, as it was now. He slowly removed his hand from over his brow. Tears fell when he opened his eyes.
When she came into focus for him, Joel saw Raina looking at him with love, just so much love, in her eyes. She pressed her forehead to his, sharing his pain, saying everything she couldnât speak yet, as her hands wiped his tears off.Â
After a moment, Raina moved away from Joel, to see if he was okay. There was so much she wanted to say but she thought about what he needed to hear in this moment.Â
âYouâre the man who protected his 14 year old kid⌠thatâs who I seeâŚâ Raina whispered. She couldnât hold back her anxieties from spilling out in front of Joel,âAnd⌠they⌠they wouldnât have listened, if you had tried to talk them out of itâŚâ, her voice cracked, & Joel reached out and cradled her face with his hand. Raina closed her eyes, leaned her face into it & held his rough, calloused hand with both her hands. She planted small kisses on his massive open palm as she whispered, âthey might have killed youâŚâ tears streamed down Rainaâs eyes, âAnd Iâm glad you didnât let them⌠Iâm so glad you didnât let themâŚâ She kept repeating it like a prayer, like she was thanking whatever power existed for allowing Joel to come to her.
Joel moved his hand to the back of her head & gently guided her closer to him. He held her forehead to his, her tears now washing his face, he calmed her fears, âHey, hey, Iâm here, baby, Iâm safeâŚâ he tucked his finger under her chin & raised her face, gently telling her to look him in the eyes. She met his gaze when he said, âIâm with you⌠my RainaâŚâ
Raina felt a wave of pleasure when he called her his & somehow, she stopped crying. Somehow, like she had this morning, her body surrendered to Joelâs touch.
To Joel, this was probably the only time he felt happy to see her big black eyes full of happy, relieved tears. She was happy he was alive. He had told her everything & she stayed. He hadnât needed to fight, to prove anything to her. He just had to love her now, love her right.Â
She moved as he guided her; Her eyes still shut, her breath deep & heavy with the potential of this consecrated moment. He tucked his hand under her chin, his thumb caressing the little dip between it & her lower lip, stopping her only a hairâs breadth away from him⌠just so he could breathe her in a little bit more⌠Raina opened her eyes to see Joel looking at her lips.Â
When they looked at each other, both Joel & Raina felt this wave reverberate through their whole bodies⌠& they werenât two people or two bodies anymore, just sensations⌠Joelâs warm hands on Rainaâs soft skin, Her breath on his lips, his aroma flooding her senses⌠the uncoiling of an ancient desire deep within them⌠Joel parting his lips to take her full, pink lips in, both their visions blurred, interrupted by the unfocussed wisps of Rainaâs hair dancing in the slight breeze⌠They closed their eyes & both of them felt it when Raina parted her lips, just barely beginning to brush on Joelâs lipsâ
When they heard the front door burst open to Tommy yelling, âJoooooel!âÂ
The moment was shattered as Tommy entered, shouting Joelâs name as though he was a wanted felon & the police were after him.Â
Joel & Raina moved away from each other with another bellowing âJoooooel!â From Tommy.Â
Raina wiped the remnants of her tears quickly & stood up, away from the bed. She gestured for him to answer Tommy who was headed in their direction, after a beat.Â
Joel gritted his teeth & yelled with THE MOST annoyance he could muster for his baby brother - âIn heeere!â Joel mouthed a remorseful âIâm sorryâ to Raina, who couldnât help but smile.Â
Tommy, evidently still angry, thumped his way to Joelâs bedroom yelling, âYou sleepinâ now?! That why you werenât at the 5 oâclock patroâohhh!â his voice screeched to a halt when Tommy saw Raina standing by the wall with her hands behind her. It was clear that Tommy had barged into a private moment⌠between Joel & the woman heâd spent talking or trying not to talk about this whole week.Â
Tommy looked back at Joel & blurted out, "Well, that was fast..."
The thing was, poor Tommy didnât get the time he needed to calibrate his politeness filter from âBrotherâ, which was the lowest possible setting, to âNew Female Personâ, which demanded pretty high levels of politeness. And so he ended up saying something idiotic, as though Raina wasnât in the room.Â
Joel growled, wanting to whoop his ass, âTOMMY!âÂ
Finally Tommy looked at Raina & apologised, âIâm so sorryâŚâ he took a beat to recalibrate & said, âHiâŚâ Raina smiled politely.
Joel interrupted that awkward interaction, âI crinked my backâŚâÂ
Tommy was thankful for the interruption & that information as Joel went on, â⌠Thatâs why I wasnât at the patrol⌠guessinâ Ellie forgot to tell youâŚâ Tommy sighed, nodded & sat by Joelâs bed, concerned.
Both brothers looked at her when Raina declared, âIâm just gonnaâŚ" She paused but when she couldn't come up with an excuse, simply said, "I'm gonna leave you guys aloneâŚâ & left the room.Â
Joel smacked his brother in the head, âThatâs how talk to a woman?!âÂ
âI was talkinâ to you!â Tommy said, rubbing the back of his head but coming back to the topic at hand, âBut what happened?!â Â
âI just crinked my back⌠itâll be okaââÂ
âNo! Ray! Sheâs here! What DID you say?!â Tommy whispered, clearly more interested in his brotherâs love life than his health.Â
âI just told her what I feltâŚâ Joel coolly offered.
Tommy scoffed⌠âThatâs not possible⌠you didnâ have that much game even when they wanted to make you Prom KingâŚâ he said, deflating Joelâs coolness. Tommy chuckled, âAnd now youâre MUCH olderâŚâ
Joel glared at Tommy but that didnât stop him, âShe must like you from before⌠mustaâ seen you durinâ construction⌠Maria tolâ me how many women came to visit the school siteâŚâ
Joel grumped his face in abject confusion. Tommy explained âYou were gettinâ Lasagna for lunch every day Joel⌠dâyou really think they were suddenly interested in layinâ tile?!â
Joel cut through to the point, âTommy, you need to leave. And Iâm not cominâ in to work the next few daysâŚâ
Tommy smirked, âDonât overdo it olâ manâŚâ
âCoz of my back!â Joel smacked him in the head again. Tommy figured it was worth getting to tease his older brother. Â
âIâm real happy for you JoelâŚâ Tommy got real, âDespite what you think⌠you deserve to be happyâŚâ
Joel shook his head to resist getting vulnerable again but couldnât help it, âSâ because of you⌠and Maria⌠and what yâall builtâŚâ
Tommy nodded & smiled, âYes⌠AND you deserve it⌠AND everythinâ else you could want⌠as much as your ol' frail body can handleâÂ
Joel tried to smack him again but Tommy ducked, both of them laughed. This is how they remembered being in the best of their childhoods. In a moment, Raina knocked, peeked in & said, âWould anyone like some tea?â
Joel & Tommy looked at each other stupendously, like, âAre we tea people now?â.
Joel answered for both of them, âWe could⌠try someâŚâ Tommy nodded in agreement.Â
Raina brought in three cups of piping hot, slightly brown water that both Miller men were initially confused by. Raina encouraged them to take a whiff of the aroma by doing it herself.Â
Tommy was impressed, âWooow⌠thatâs, thatâsâŚâ he took another whiff, âLavender?!âÂ
Raina smiled & nodded to say yes, âLavender & Chamomile & a little bit of cinnamon⌠I have a little gardenâŚâ
The three of them sipped on tea & made polite conversation. Every time Raina looked away, though, Joel tried to rush Tommy out. To the point that Tommy had to gulp down his hot tea & it burned his throat a little. He loved it nonetheless. Raina offered some for his wife & Tommy couldnât say no. Joel glared at him the whole time Raina packed some of her tea mix for Maria in a cute little jute pouch which she just happened to have in her bag.Â
Joel smiled sweetly every time Raina saw him but the instant it was only Tommy in his eyeline, Joel silently mouthed, âGet. Out.â Tommy mouthed back, annoyed but silent, âIâm leavinâ!âÂ
Raina chuckled & said aloud, âJoel⌠heâs your brother⌠he can stay awhileâŚâ. She couldnât pretend anymore that these men were being discreet. Tommy guffawed & pacified Joel, âNo no no⌠I do have to go, got a ton of things to doâŚâ He looked at Raina & said, âIâll be in to check on him tomorrow⌠Lemme know if I can get somethinââŚâ
Tommy apologised again for his comment earlier & thanked Raina for the tea, which he was sure Maria would love. Raina walked him out.
Even a moment as small as this - Raina seeing Tommy out - brought a warm smile to Joel because it looked & felt like Raina had already become the woman of the house⌠of HIS house. And his heart.
Part Eight - Finally, home.
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- --
A/N - And now, we're closer to smut than we have ever been before. Although don't expect sex in the next chapter - Joelly still has a crink in his back, remember?
What can I say? I love a slow burn?
Tell me what you guys think!
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Joel Miller x OC (sheâs desi & curvy & heavily tatted)
Set Post Breakout, In Jackson, post the events of S1 of the HBO series. The only thing included from S2 is gorgeously grandpa-bodded Joel & his & Ellie's conversation on the porch where he finally tells her.
Slowwwww Burn; Longing; Yearning; Joel is just WHIPPED for age appropriate OC (I needed it, okay?)
Series Summary: Joel has seen the worst of the world. That last few years in Jackson have been peaceful but Joel has been almost as cautious as he was on the other side of the wall. Until he meets a woman who reminds him there could be... more... For the first time in years, Joel finds out that the part of him that he thought had dried up & died, the loving, tender part; It was just dormant, waiting for Raina. The shift she brings in his life's seasons terrifies him and yet, it also inspires Joel Miller to build a family.
Chapter Word Count - 5kish Words
T/W - Realisations about Sarah, Grief, Raina's ex shows up, An almost punch, hickey marks
Starts off as serious but this is fluffyyy fluffff; kissing; bit of biting; playing; teasing; skin worship a little bit.
Part Nine
Part Ten - Joel processes the dark history of the woman he is falling in love with & her experience shines a light on the missing piece in Joel's processing of Sarah's memory. (Just fluff of two people falling in love). Raina moves in to 38, Rancher Street.
Joel sat on his sofa, shell shocked. He knew, theoretically... he knew that people had it harder than him, even before the outbreak began. But those people were just bylines in the newspaper. To have met someone who crawled out of that kind of a blackhole & built themselves a normal-ish life... To know someone as bright & sunshiny as Raina had gone through something like... that... it affected him deeply. So much that he really didnât know what to do with it.
Small things began to fit, though. About how Raina is⌠like the other day, when heâd come close to her from behind, the way she had startled⌠it suddenly reminded him of when heâd found Ellie in Silver Lake. Thankfully he had instinctively known how to calm her. Even Raina had calmed in his arms after that initial jerk.
He thought back to how Raina had never seen him as a bad man because of how safe Ellie, even Dina, felt around him. He was weary, thinking about how prevalent it must be for women to experience abuse from men that it nullified all the other bad things Joel had done.Â
The bar for what a good man is so low it is really in hell, Joel thought. He wanted to raise it, raise the bar for what it means to be a good man for Ellie. And now, even more so, for Raina. For everything his gorgeous woman had gone throughâŚ
To Joel, Raina had always seemed fearless in this world of the infected. At first he thought it was reckless but seeing her now, from the lens of what she had just told him, he saw that it was natural to her. Easy.Â
Thatâs why it seemed funny to her. She didnât defend herself with humour, she could, just, see through the bullshit of pretence, of security, of control.
 Joel himself worked well in this world because he was single-minded & not particularly moral. Joel knew to take care of his own. But Raina, she was at ease in this world because she didnât fight how fragile life is, she accepted it. And by extension, accepted everyone in her life...
It send shivers down Joelâs spine, to think of her world as a kid. Where sheâd had no power⌠until she found a knife in her hand⌠How had she dealt with it? The nightmares? The fears? How had she trusted others? But she hadâŚ
Joel realised Raina had built herself a safer world brick by brick⌠since she was 9. And unlike him, sheâd built bridges, not walls.Â
She didnât just take care of her own. She became a safe space for every kid who came across her path. She took them all in - made all of them her problem. Thatâs how theyâd ended up at Jackson with 50 kids. She went through hellfire to become a source of light.Â
Truly, Raina was sunshine in more ways than he could count.Â
Thatâs why Ellie had opened up to her more than she ever did with Joel. Thatâs why Raina was so deeply loved by those kids. And adults. Including Joel. And Sarah⌠if she were here. Sarah didnât have a mother but that never stopped her from being a sweet, caring little girl. His daughter truly would have adored Raina.Â
How had they done this? How did women multiply love manifold despite being denied so much⌠Despite never having the smallest, most basic love every kid needs?
Thatâs when Joel realised - just because these girls didnât have a mother didnât mean they didnât experience love. It was miraculous, how kind & sweet they were. But it was because they had this gift - to see the love that everyone else gave themâŚÂ
It made Joel feel like Sarahâs kindness, her smile, her instinct to help people meant that she had love in her heart, in her life. She had Joel as her Dad. She had Uncle Tommy. For the first time since that fateful birthday in 2003, Joel realised he hadnât completely failed SarahâŚÂ
He felt warm & grateful for the kind of people who had helped Raina. The lawyer, who decided to adopt a blood-soaked little girl with a knife in her hand?! The grandfather who gave her the best name, who gave her purpose. The boy who loved her, Raman. Min Young & Lila & all the kidsâŚÂ
He realised he owed a great debt to all these people, for having supported the woman that he loves. It was all too fast but he just knew. He did love her. That now, he had to carry their legacy ahead & love her well. Love her right. And suddenly it struck him - he had to get her back.Â
As he put his shoes on, Joel realised he had tears in his eyes & a smile on his face. The sunlight hit his face resonating the truth of his life -
What an honour, to be Sarahâs father. To be Ellieâs dad. To be Rainaâs husband⌠thatâs who he would be. Thatâs what he wanted. Â
He walked toward the school. His feet turned that way before it made sense to his mind - that is where she would choose to go. Joelâs heart was squirming again, to think of Raina doubt what he would think, doubt his acceptance, his love.Â
His heart jumped when he saw her at last, walking slowly, dragging herself toward the school building. He thanked God, Fate, the Universe, whatever power he could think of in that moment, for making him realise all that he had within a span of minutes.
Joel ran to catch up to her.Â
Just before he caught up to her, Raina had been walking with doubt & grief weighing her down. It was hurting her, walking away from the place where sheâd kissed Joel. Her Joelly.Â
The voices in her mind caused a turbulence deep in her heart -Â
âWas it too soon to have told him?â
âWhy did her history have to be so horrific?â
âWhy did all of that happen to her?âÂ
Raina knew âWhyâ was the least helpful question at times like these. The least spiritual question. But she couldnât out-manoeuvre her thoughts today. Her fists were balled up, trying to contain the rage of all her whys - Â
âWhy did she have to tell Joel? She couldnât have made anything up when heâd asked?â
âWhy burden him with her brutal fucking past?â
âHow could she go back now?â
âWould he even look at her the same?âÂ
âHe did want to comfort her⌠after sheâd told him the entire thing but⌠was that out of love or sympathy?â
âDid he pity her?âÂ
That thought made her stomach turn - thatâs how much she hated pity. She could stomach hate but not pity. She felt rage boil within her. She hated this - now it felt like she had rushed it, told him something so intimate, so important way too early & killed the tiny little light of the possibility of a relationship, of love, right in its crib.
âThatâs what youâve always been - a killer.âÂ
âThatâs all youâll ever be.âÂ
Raina despised this voice in her head. She wanted to punch someone. Â
Just then, she felt someone suddenly come up behind her & grab her hand. Without thinking about it, Raina took a violent swing.Â
Joel had run up to Raina & wanted to surprise her by holding her hand. But when he had reached out to touch her, Raina had turned with a terrifying left hook. Thankfully, Joelâs reflexes were sharper than heâd expected they would be after so long.Â
He had ducked right in time, but he had felt a whoosh of air on his face that told him just how hard that punch would have landed. Within the fraction of that second, Raina realised what sheâd done - almost punched Joel Miller, the man sheâd almost professed her love to just this morning.Â
Joel & Raina both yelled at the same time - âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry!âÂ
Finally, they looked at each other. Joel looked relieved having blocked that punch. Raina looked terrified for having thrown it. Fresh tears swelled up in her eyes, when she saw his face. Joel smiled & tried to reassure his gorgeous & deadly woman, âBaby, baby⌠sâmeâŚâ
Raina rushed to him, âIâm so sorry⌠I was angry at myself⌠Iâm so so sorryââ
Joel finally held her hand, âRaina, honey, you donât have to be sorryâŚsâokay⌠happens to me all the timeâŚâ he was still heaving a little from trying to catch up to her.Â
Raina bit her lip when she realised Joel had run after her, âYou came to get me?âÂ
Joel nodded as he evened his breath out, ââCourseâŚâÂ
âDid you even think about everything I justâ?âÂ
âNothinâ to think about⌠â Joel said, âNow, please come home.âÂ
Raina looked at him with surprise in those big black eyes, âReally?â
Joel nodded & looked at her like this was the easiest choice for him. He came close, beside her & whispered, âI just wanna know one thingâŚâÂ
âAnythingâŚâ Raina looked so sincere in her effort to make sure this relationship bloomed the way it could, Joel almost felt bad teasing her -Â
âWhat was it you said this morninââŚÂ right before you bolted into the bathroomâŚ?âÂ
Raina blushed & laughed. Joel smiled too. The two of them began to walk back home.Â
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Raina asked about Joelâs back & insisted that he rest as they got back to his place. But even before the two could get their boots off, Joel kissed her, mid-sentence.Â
This time, Raina was pressed up against the wall by the door, which he slammed shut with his foot. He had his gorgeous, massive hands in her hair, which he released from the claw clip that held them up. He pressed up against her again, loving how soft & warm she felt against his hardness. He nibbled at his spot of the corner of her lip, carefully, making sure not to hurt her too much in the same tender place.Â
Raina felt his warmth, his worry of disappointing her, his need to love her through his kiss & reassured him through hers.Â
She held his waist, his shoulders, his back & pulled him further into herself. Joelâs lips coaxed Rainaâs to open up more so he could taste her once again. Joelâs hands travelled up, over the tight bodice of her dress, under his plaid shirt - that sheâd buttoned all the way up. Joel waited for Raina to remind him to stop, to restrict him but she didnât. When his hand stopped on her sides - just under her breasts, Raina pulled back from the kiss & looked at Joel.Â
He was breathing heavy, with the passion of their kiss, but looked at her smiling, licking his lips to continue tasting her. She was glad to see it hadnât changed - the way Joel saw her. He was slightly confused about why sheâd stopped the kiss but there was the same adoring love in his eyes. Perhaps with an added depth, a quiet, reverence.Â
Raina took Joelâs hand, nestled on her rib & guided it up, on her breast, letting him know it was okay for him to touch her wherever he wanted to. Both of them felt a twist of pleasure in their core. Despite all the layers she was wearing, he could feel how tender this part of her was. She felt warm in a gorgeous aching way, to have Joelâs strong hands on the softest of her curves.Â
He began kissing her again. Joel moaned when she nibbled at his lower lip as he kneaded her breast, dragging the hem of her dress down so he could touch skin. He grabbed her closer by winding his other hand around her waist & while pushing himself even more into her. Soon enough, both of them felt his cock go from hard to stiff, pressing against his jeans, begging to be freed.Â
Joel reminded himself to stop. He pulled away from the kiss slowly, gently. He eased his lips away from hers but not far, he kissed her chin, her jaw, her neck before laying his head on her shoulder. He brought his hands down to her sides, resting them on her on the beautiful curve of her hips.Â
Raina stroked his head, âWe donât have to stop⌠if your back is alrightâŚâÂ
Of course sheâd noticed he wasnât walking cautiously anymore, Joel thought. He moved to face her, a gentle smile on his face, âsâ day two, right?â
Raina nodded with a smile.Â
âI can hold off for two daysâŚâ Joel assured her.Â
Raina bit her lip, âWhat if I canât?âÂ
âDarlinâ⌠only one of us isâŚâ he ran both his hands up against the contour of her curves, â...temptation incarnateâŚâ He looked at Raina with a smile & a dangerous hunger in his eyes. Joel took her hand & made her feel the stiff peak pressing against his jeans, âif I can hold off, Iâm sure you can tooâŚâÂ
Raina blushed furiously & pulled Joel into a hug. They melded together once more, kissing, nuzzling, loving on each other. His shirt was being an obstacle to the free movement of Joelâs hand over her body so he began unbuttoning it, âWhy have youââ but the answer was clear the moment he opened the first two buttons of his shirt on Raina - the reddish pinkish marks of last night had bloomed into dark blue, almost purple spots on her golden brown skin.Â
Raina began to soothe Joel before he began worrying, âJoel⌠itâs okay⌠itâs normal for hickeysââ
Joel stepped away from her, which made Raina tense but within a second, she saw Joel looking at her neck from a step away. Raina stood in the same spot & unbuttoned the rest of the shirt and slipped it off her shoulders, so Joel could see all the purple spots on her skin.Â
Joelâs breath hitched for a second, when Raina slid the shirt off her shoulders. A mischievous smile spread over Joelâs face. His gaze kissed her neck but when Joelâs eyes met Rainaâs, there was an assurance there - that she wonât be judged for the things she desired. She didnât need to hide anything from him⌠ever again. Joel moved toward her again, âDoes itâ Do they hurtâŚ? I donââ donât really rememberâŚâÂ
âNo, baby, not at allâŚâ Raina gently pressed into one of the two hickeys on his neck to show him just how harmless they were. Â
Joel began to plant small, gentle kisses on all of the purple spots heâd given Raina. She stroked his back & explained, âIt feels⌠like a map⌠all the places⌠where you let go⌠where we stopped the flow⌠of blood, where we stopped the flow of time⌠on my skinâŚâÂ
Joel looked at her adoringly, impressed with what sheâd said, âMmm⌠my sexually deviant poetâŚâ
Raina chuckled at that. Joel kissed her jaw, her neck & breathed deep into the nook of her neck, âI should stopâŚâ he whispered, more to himself than her.Â
She held his face & made him look at her - âYou donât need to stop. That was justââ
âJust the first time you asked me for somethinâŚâ Joel reminded her.
âYou sure?â
âCourse, Raina⌠sâ nothin⌠now, tell me what you wanna eat⌠Grilled cheese sound good?â
âYou have cheese?!â Raina hadnât had cheese in over a decade.Â
âBaby, youâre with Joel Miller now. We got cheese, we got coffeeâŚâ he beamed.Â
âCoffee?!âÂ
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Raina changed into another dark plaid shirt she found in Joelâs closet & her woolly socks. She skipped the boxer shorts this time (but assured Joel she was wearing her inners) which elicited a groan from Joel who told her she didnât need to make the wait harder than it was.Â
Raina had coolly propped herself on the kitchen counter then, all of her glorious thighs on full display, telling him that sounded very much like a him-problem. Joel had moved over to her, caressed her thighs, saying, âGoddamnit womanâŚâÂ
They kept kissing each other, with Joelâs cock serving as a sort of weathervane - telling them things were heating up. They blushed and slowly began to move away every time & yet didnât stop coming back together to kiss once more.Â
Raina sent Joel to check on Ellie & invite her for lunch with them as a way of letting her know that this was still very much her home.Â
Joel looked confused, "I think she already knows thatâŚ?â
âThe last time she came here was to check on you & ended up seeing both of us, in there, sleeping together⌠Youâve got to let her know its not Sin City up here⌠that sheâs free to move aboutâŚâ, Raina explained.Â
âI mean it is kinda Sin City⌠not that I mindâŚâÂ
âIâll wear pants, Miller, God!â Raina rolled her eyes.Â
Joel came over and slid his hand up her thighs once again while he kissed her, âWell, then, I have to do this againâŚâÂ
Rainaâs version of Chilli was on the stove & she prodded Joel away to leave because she needed to watch it. Reluctantly, Joel let go of her & left to get Ellie.Â
There was a knock on the door in a few moments which Raina assumed was Joel. She turned off the flame & brought up a spoon of the chilly to her lips to cool down for him to taste. She opened the door & offered the spoon - realising half a second too late - that it wasnât Joel at the door at all.Â
Min Young stood at the door with a large suitcase. He had noticed Rainaâs not-so-conspicuous absence from home & school & had got her some of the essentials she needed to live. He meant it as a sweet gesture but something nasty was triggered in him when he saw her in Joelâs shirt, marked with brutal hickeys all over her neck & probably lower...Â
âYou donât waste any time, do you?â Min remarked.Â
Raina held the spoon down & stepped behind the door to cover her pants-less-ness & still she looked a bit scary, annoyed at this comment, âReally? Thatâs what you wanna go with? After all the sorries, and the âI just want you to be happyâs?!âÂ
Min raised his hands, âIâm sorry- Iâm sorry it just slipped out⌠with all theâŚâ he gestured to Rainaâs hickeys. When she went to button them up, Min helped with the spoon in her hand. He tasted the Chilli, âMmmm⌠not bad⌠little too hot though, you sure youâre boyfriend will be able to take it?âÂ
Raina sneered at him, confused about his strange brashness âHave you come here to make me hate you again?!âÂ
Min really did look apologetic the next second. Thatâs part of what made them so good together - the way they could switch. There were moments in their once-amazing-relationship where it was a sort of seamless flow, like they didnât need words to communicate⌠before Min let his insecurities get the better of them.Â
He composed himself for the sake of those perfect times, âI thought⌠you might need some⌠essentials⌠yâknow, like pantsâŚâ
Raina couldnât help but chuckle. But she tried to control it by pulling her lips in. Min couldnât be making comments like this anymore if he expected to be part of her life with. She composed her face, âMin⌠thatâs⌠thank you⌠but I havenât yet spoken to Joel or Ellie about⌠moving inââ
This seemed to make him happy, âAnd youâre still wearing a bra, so⌠that means you⌠havenât actually had sex yet! Wait, is it the bad back or badââ
Raina began to close the door on him but Min blocked her with a parade of sorries once again. She was really getting angry now & slightly worried because it wonât be great to have Joel & Ellie walk up to see her & Min arguing in their doorway.Â
Min explained himself, âYou just called Casablanca & left⌠really⌠you didnât even look back once⌠just like Ingridââ
âIâm not Ingrid Bergman & Joelâs not that dusty ass husband guy & you, Min Young, for sure as shit, are NOT Humphrey Boggart. So stop with the self pity. Iâm betting you didnât tell Lila what you were doing because she wouldâve stopped you. Iâm not dead, Min. Iâm literally down the road! I looked back plenty for you & you were not ready⌠remember that? Remember crying about not being ready? I was ready for something real back in 2005! And Iâve finally, finally found someone whoâs also readyâŚâ
Min was trying to hint at something but Raina couldnât stop mid-rant. Min tried to shift her mood by pointing to something on his right as he fake-cheerfully said, âYes, theyâre ready⌠for lunch!âÂ
Of course it was Ellie & Joel. Surprised to see Min Young & a large suitcase at their doorstep, arguing with pants-less Raina, holding a spoon like a knife for some reason.Â
Thankfully, Ellie interjected, âAre you gonna stab him with a spoon?! That⌠would be coolâŚâÂ
Joel immediately reprimanded, âEllie get in.âÂ
âAdults really do have dramaâŚâ Ellie commented as she went in, smiling.
Raina began to explain but Min Young interrupted her saying, âI came to drop her stuff off.âÂ
Min got the signature Joel Miller glare of anger, âOh, I heard everythinââŚâ Joel said as he kept glaring at Min Young but addressed Raina, âDarlin'⌠is Min Young stayin' for lunch?âÂ
Raina promptly replied, âNo.âÂ
Joel snapped a quick, âSee you aroundâŚâ to Min Young & lifted the massive suitcase with one hand as he got into his house.
âIâll lay some pants out on the bed.â Joel whispered to Raina & she nodded, completely embarrassed. Joel went in without a word, leaving his woman to deal with the man who wasnât allowed in.Â
Raina felt bad about how this all turned out but she had to remind herself it wasnât her responsibility. Min looked at her with his hurt-puppy eyes. It had been a long road for them & while he theoretically understood Rainaâs emotions, he couldnât help but feeling a sense of grief he hadnât felt before. When it came to her, he couldnât help⌠a lot.
Raina knew it too but sheâd been hurt by those puppy eyes too many times.Â
âThere was a better way of doing this, Min. Iâll⌠Iâll see you later.â Raina said. Min Young walked away & she shut the door.Â
{{}} {{}} {{}}
Raina, finally wearing pants, sat across the table from Joel & Ellie, waiting for them to finish their meal. She couldnât eat because her stomach was in knots but sheâd made them some spicy chicken with Chilli & Rice. Ellie had praised her cooking thrice already. She was trying to get a moment in edgewise but both were so engrossed with the food, it made her wonder what theyâd been eating this whole time.Â
Finally, when Ellie finished her second helping, Raina drew attention to the topic sheâd been waiting to discuss.Â
âSo⌠First off, Iâm sorry you both had to see⌠that. Min Young brought some things for me⌠pre-emptively⌠I didnât ask for them to be⌠delivered like thatâŚâ Raina suddenly found herself unable to form coherent sentences & speak them like a normal human. The father & daughter duo whoâd stayed together the last four years was strangely intimidating for her.Â
Both Ellie & Joel looked like they were waiting for Raina to come to her point. Both knew her enough by now to not interrupt her.Â
âI donât wanna assume⌠just because⌠you know, we have this⌠& Iâve not left the house for 2 days now⌠except for that short walkâŚâ Raina was getting frustrated with herself.Â
Ellie was still waiting for the point to arrive, like a diligent student. But Joel finally understood something was wrong when Raina sighed & buried her face in her palms.Â
He instinctively said, âBaby... what is it?âÂ
Ellie whipped around to look at Joel with a look of surprise. Joel smiled a little & accepted her look of shock.Â
Raina chuckled at this little interaction, âI just⌠I hope Iâm not⌠like, barging into your familyâŚâÂ
Both of them had the same quizzical look on their faces after Raina said that. She had to explain further, âYou know⌠with the bag⌠as if Iâm moving inâŚâÂ
âI thought you are moving inâŚâ Ellie askedÂ
âYou tolâ me to get the bag inâŚ?â Joel asked too.Â
âYeah but I didnât ask either of you⌠& Min just got the bagâŚâ Raina tried to understand what their confusion was about.Â
âAsk us what?â Ellie asked, genuinely trying to understand.Â
Raina was getting annoyed about how neither of them understood that Min had created an awkward situation for her by overstepping civil boundaries & just getting a huge bag of her stuff in their home. Raina wanted to have a conversation with Joel & Ellie about how things were going to go.Â
âOh my god guys⌠its not polite to just get your stuff to someoneâs home without asking them firstâŚâ Raina explained, still trying to keep calm.Â
Joel was still not getting it but Ellie, mercifully, understood & turned to Joel sternly, âJoel, did you not tell her to stay?âÂ
Joel looked at both women, âI- I did!âÂ
âNo⌠not while making out & stuffâŚâ Ellie didnât like that image but went on â⌠did you make it liveable for her⌠like did you get her a toothbrush?âÂ
Joel was starting to get the point, âOh. No I didnââŚâÂ
Ellie shook his head at Joel like she couldnât believe him. She explained to Raina, âJoel is⌠um⌠I truly donât know how he survived pre-outbreak⌠but he would very much like for you to come live with himâŚâÂ
Raina smiled, âI wanted to ask you tooâ, she told Ellie.Â
âOh, Ray, youâd be doinâ me a huge favour. He could use some⌠human company⌠Heâs old & he doesnât sleep well & he doesnât have any friendsâŚâ Ellie told Raina, oblivious to Joel being in the room.Â
Raina laughed. Joel glared at Ellie who didnât look at him but changed her tune a bit, âBut⌠he can reach the high shelves & open jars⌠& heâs great at woodwork, youâd like thatââÂ
Joel stepped in, smiling, âThank you Ellie, for that glowinâ recommendation.â He looked at Raina, a little embarrassed, âRaina⌠Iâm sorry I didnât⌠make arrangements but Iâ we⌠would love for you to make this your home tooâŚâÂ
Raina blushed. Ellie rolled her eyes & said, âOkay⌠its officially too mushy in here for me⌠Ray, welcome home. Please keep making this kinda food, maybe teach Joel there are other ingredients than cheese, bacon & coffeeâŚâ She began to leave but Joel âEllie-dâ her into helping him clean up.Â
As Ellie & Joel cleared the table & did the dishes, Raina sat on the table trying not to grin like a fool.Â
{{}} {{}} {{}}
 Later that afternoon, Raina watched as Joel shifted his sparse plaid shirt & jean collection around & put Rainaâs clothes in the closet, with his. Sheâd scooped out her favourite dark green sweatshirt & pjs & changed into them. Joel reminded her that thats what she was wearing when he first saw her⌠Raina had caressed his stubble then & teasingly asked if he knew what he was made of. Joel didnât really understand that question & had answered, âI dunno⌠skinâŚ?âÂ
To which Raina had replied, âNo, Joel, youâre made of boyfriend materialâŚâÂ
Joel had tried to suppress his blush just repeating, âNo⌠just, no.âÂ
But he couldnât hide his smile in front of Raina, especially as she peppered his face with kisses.
Later heâd brought her a plate of just the Chilli & insisted she eat it as she watched him arrange their clothes. She had to softly fight him with pecks to his cheeks just to keep the plate back herself once she was done.
Appetite satiated and with her man right in front of her, beaming at her, fascinated by her post-apocalyptic fashion choices, Raina didnât even realise when she drifted into sleep.Â
When she awoke, she didnât know what time it was. The sun seemed to be setting & there was a note beside her in a scribbly writing she would come to recognise as Joelâs - Gone to get some supplies. Be back soon. She didnât like being alone⌠on his bed⌠so she yawned & yelled his name out, âJoelllly!âÂ
She wasnât expecting a reply but it boomed from the bathroom, âIn here! But wait, donâ come in hereâŚâ
Raina didnât understand what was happening, âJoellyâŚ?âÂ
She didnât get a response but after a few moments he said, âOkay⌠Iâm done⌠Come in hereâŚâÂ
Raina didnât understand why she was being invited to the bathroom & the daze of a late afternoon nap was too strong for her brain to comprehend things properly, so she just whined again, âJoeeeellllyâŚâ
Joel came out to their bedroom looking grumpy but he couldnât help but smile when he saw her, âCranky napper, huh?âÂ
Raina sat up, âMmmm yeah⌠sorry⌠donât let me sleep in the afternoon, JoellyâŚâÂ
Joel switched from grumpy to sweet too fast with her. Then again, he didnât really have a choice, âAlrighâ, I wonââŚâÂ
Raina laid back on the bed & raised both her hands, inviting him to join her. When she raised her hands, her sweatshirt was pulled up & Joel saw a small part of her midriff again. Just the way he had when heâd first seen her.
Except this time, Raina didnât get conscious & cover up the little skin that was showing. This time⌠she was lying on his bed, opening her arms to him. Joel couldnât contain his smile.
He climbed on to the bed but instead of her arms he went close to her waist, that plush, unbelievably sexy, belly she had just bared to him. Raina was surprised to see him look at her muffin top with such reverence. He stopped right before he touched her sweatshirt there & looked up for permission, with childlike delighted eyes. Raina nodded yes to her man & Joel instantly pushed her sweatshirt all the way up, & lay down on her belly.
A satisfied groan escaped his lips. One that reverberated in Rainaâs core too. Raina shifted a few pillows to get a good look at him. She could feel his breath beginning to match hers. Joel looked like he was resting, after a long, long time. Raina stroked his hair. She thought about the right thing to say at this moment, to tell Joel what she had backed off from telling him this morning - that she is falling in love with him.Â
While she is debated, Joel began peppering kisses to her belly, which made all coherent thought fly out of her brain. He held her waist & looked up at Raina, with his chin now resting on her plush skin.Â
âYou made me realise somethinâ todayâ Joel said, his tone deeper than she expected, âI always felt bad that me nâ Tommy... we lost our Mama too soon⌠maybe that was because weâd had her love & then close to nothinâ from our Pop⌠and when Nina left, I thought Sarah would also feel the same⌠the same void⌠but⌠she wasnât like me⌠bare knuckles, bloody bones⌠she was sweet & kind⌠& yeah it woulda been nice if she had a mother too but⌠she did have love⌠she had me nâ Tommy nâ friends⌠nâ her teachers loved her⌠so⌠maybe I didnât fail herâŚâÂ
Tears swam in Joelâs eyes but he buried his face in Rainaâs belly to wipe them off. He took a deep breath & she didnât stop stroking his hair. This is probably how she was different than she was with Min Young too - she was not in a hurry to fix him, or in a hurry to prove herself & her love to him.
Here, with Joel, Raina just was⌠And everything that was supposed to be was also just happening⌠almost as if on its own. She knew how long a road it must have been for Joel to come to finally accept Sarahâs death as an accident, to accept how he didnât have control - that all he had was here & now.Â
Here & now, lying on Rainaâs midriff, the sacred place of her womb, kissing her navel, Joel felt a sudden desire to make life⌠on purpose, with his Raina. He hadnât even known that he had been waiting with bated breath for this woman to finally arrive in his life. And now that she had, he wanted to expand life itself⌠with her, within herâŚ
Joel couldnât contain the sheer joy he felt in that moment & just bit Rainaâs belly softly. Raina laughed & pinched his cheek. The first time heâd felt that since Joel was a kid. The comfort, the safety & the afterglow of being loved.Â
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- --
A/N - This is kind of why her dark history was needed. For Joel to get to a place of forgiving himself - though I don't think he still has completely... it's a start.
ALSO THERE'S GOING TO BE SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! YES HONEY THIS HAS BEEN A SLOW BURN.
A thousand salute to the nation of ours, May it become even more prosperous. Wish you a Very Happy Republic Day ! #republicday #btrackworld #btrack #softwarecompanyinsurat https://www.instagram.com/p/CKf_N_frkO1/?igshid=1lih90ht55fw8
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