#brooklyn-99

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt Characters: McClane "Mac" Peralta, Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner, Ray Holt, Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), Charles Boyle, Terry Jeffords, Cheddar (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) Additional Tags: Halloween, Halloween Heists (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), Trick or Treating, Fluff and Humor Series: Part 5 of It's Just a Bunch of Halloween Fics Summary:

“It’s only fair for us to be in pairs again this year. That way Amy and I can both participate and still take Mac out for his first time trick-or-treating.”

Mac perked up when his dad said his name. He was sitting on the floor, playing with his Transformers, while his parents talked on their iPad to his aunts and uncles about something. He was trying to be good and quiet while they were talking, but it had been forever and he was bored.

“Why bother? We always turn on each other in the end. Besides, it’s not our fault you’re breeders.”

Mac doesn't really know what's going on, but first there's candy, and then his parents disappear, and then he gets to hang out with Cheddar. Jake and Amy learn a lesson about parenting; Captain Raymond Holt is suspicious.

~~

Dutch: “(y/n), we need money.”

Reader, decked out in fancy clothes and top notch weapons: *takes a sip of their martini* “Oh, worm?”

—

*in Valentine*

Sean, joking around: “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”

Reader, not really paying attention: “You can be whatever you want to be.”

Sean, seeing a stray cat just basking in the sun without a care in the world: “I want to be a cat.”

Reader: “You’re already a pussy, Sean.”

—

Reader, walking up to the campfire: “Hey guys, looks like you’re keeping camp running smoothly!”

Micah: “Whatever.”

Reader, muttering darkly to themselves: “Bell will be the first to go.”

—

Dutch: “Micah is a good man!”

Reader, pointing at Micah in disbelief: “This bitch??? PLEASE-“

—

Arthur, stressed out and kinda having an anxiety attack:

Reader, in a really deep voice: “Oh yeah! Just breathe, baby!”

Arthur: “You’re making me more tense.”

—

Micah: *breathes*

Reader: “Thank you, Micah, you’re entire life is garbage.”

—

Reader, laying on the pentagram in Butchers Creek: “Here we go!”

Arthur: “You’re out of your mind.”

Reader: “Rock and roll, buckeroo!!”

—

Reader, bursting into Dutch’s tent: “WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD!”

Dutch, still half asleep: “wha-“

Hosea, who was spooning Dutch: “What the hell, (y/n)-“

—

Reader: “HEEY!”

Sean: “HEEEY!”

A random baby goat they stole and brought back to camp: “AAAAAAA-“

—

Arthur: “Are you drinking whiskey for breakfast?!”

Reader: “Yeah, what did you have for breakfast?”

Arthur: “...nothing.”

Reader: “I’m doing better than you, man.”

—

*Dutch and Reader giving a speech*

Dutch: “There’s no use crying over spilled milk.”

Reader: “Unless it’s chocolate milk.”

Dutch: “That requires a full mental breakdown.”

—

Javier: “Wow, you’re really good at procrastinating.”

Reader: “Yeah, the premium version came free with my ADHD pack.”

—

Reader: “Uh oh, someone’s under the mistletoe~”

Raccoon they cornered in their tent: *hisses angrily*

—

Reader: “Do you want this back, or?”

O’driscoll: “Are you— are you asking if you can keep the knife in your stomach?”

Reader: “Yeah, it really brings my outfit together.”

O’driscoll: “It’s a knife?? You’re bleeding???”

—

Reader: “I love your lipstick! It matches the bloodstains on your dress!”

Karen: “Thank you?”

Reader: “You’re welcome!”

—

Reader: “Hey, dude, can I get some food? Some trail mix or maybe some jerky?”

O’driscoll: “You’re being held hostage.”

~~𝓒𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓵𝓼 ~~

The canon LGBT+ couple of the day is