#boxed-in

Xiao Wu (Pickpocket, 1997), directed by Jia Zhangke

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The Box is so common that people feel lost if they don’t know the rules for any situation where they find themselves. They become uncomfortable and do not know what someone expects from them. They need to know how to “win” or “survive”. What are the rewards? What is the downside? And yet, they still want the situation to be at least comfortable, if not fun. When people find themselves in a lot of Boxes they, as was discussed in an earlier blog, can grow dependent on either being “controlled” or needing a “high”. As a result, they are caught up in looking for The Box in every relationship. Sadly, they feel more comfortable being Boxed-In. Many people released from prison after a number of years have felt this way. There seems to be some kind of safety or comfort in The Box. And, this makes it all the more difficult for people to take their “free-will” elsewhere. They don’t mind exercising it inside The Box where the rules and potential outcomes are known. Perhaps this is one of the reasons abused children or abused wives stay so long in that abusive relationship. The Truth about The Boxes Not all Boxes are bad. But, being constantly “owned” by The Box tends to make us vulnerable to getting into a bad one eventually. Relationships that are built upon a more negotiated basis for everyone involved, tend to help us feel freedom where it makes sense to us, and there is a kind of “give & take” atmosphere. But, because The Box is so common, it is easy to learn to live with it, moving from one to another day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and minute-to-minute. Living Beyond The Box is not easy, as the book of the same title explains. But, learning to understand how The Box works, where it can lead us long-term, is only the beginning. The book helps you examine The Boxes of your life, what to do in healthy and unhealthy boxes, and how to escape really bad ones and begin to live with more freedom.  It also recommends professional counseling if your situation is too complex, intolerable or frightening. Read the full article

“Boxed-In”

“Boxed-In” – Serpentine Pavilion 2016 by @BjarkeIngels, Kensington Gardens, London