#boardbreaking

I tested for my blue belt tonight. It went fairly well, but I broke the board on the second try which disappointed me. I am trying to not feel so bad and remember how far I have come over all. I just feel like my emotions are all over the place every time I test. I am very emotionally exhausted from the Halloween party on Saturday. I am also physically exhausted because I got less than four hours of sleep.

Work was nice today because there was a lot of support and validation about what happened over the weekend. That can be a bit exhausting in its own way, too though. I am trying to remember not to let the actions of others affect me so much. It is really hard because I put a lot of effort and energy into friendships and it is disappointing to not have those feelings reciprocated. Not everyone has the same level of empathy and it is hard to know when to accept that vs. when to remove myself from a toxic person.