Posted @withrepost • @unconditional_parenting I remember when I first heard Rabbi Akiva Tatz say that parents can most definitely go back on their word if they’ve genuinely reconsidered their stance and come to realize that the boundary is not necessary in the best interest of their child (not because the child’s begging and pleading wore them down), it just made so much sense! It felt freeing that parenting doesn’t require committing to something I don’t really believe in anymore, just because. It felt so inauthentic to me to do that. Also, it fed into the fear that my kids are here to overthrow my authority and take advantage whenever they can. I now know that thinking that about children is half the problem. We need to trust children more. It really is a self fulfilling prophecy. If we believe they will take advantage and therefore never go back on our “no’s”, that’s control and children who are controlled don’t trust their parents and will find ways to “beat the system”. But if we trust in them and change our minds when we’ve made a wrong decision, they in turn trust us and don’t have a need to “take advantage.” Does that mean they will be totally happy and ok when we DO say “no” and actually mean it? Not necessarily. They will most likely beg and plead if they want something badly (don’t we do the same?! All we have to do is look at ourselves when we try to “get” our kids to listen!) but they aren’t trying to get the “best” of us. They just really want, what they want, when they want it. All we have to do is be extremely comfortable when saying “no” and holding boundaries (if its really in the best interest of our child) and be okay with meltdown and tantrums that usually come along with it. . . . #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #blimieheller #responsiveparenting (at Toronto, Ontario) https://www.instagram.com/responsive_parenting/p/BvjzEkLnSnb/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bhngxtz6a1zi
